iGet Kicked Out (And My Best Friend Hates Me)
So what is Sam Puckett to do?

Disclaimer: No. Obviously, I do not own iCarly, Sam, Freddie, or the next door neighbor's dogs.

Chapter One: So I Totally Trashed My House. Big Deal!

"Aww! Come on, let me in!"

Sam banged on the Shay's apartment door loudly. So loud, in fact, that the racket she was making woke up a poor, soon-to-be-unemployed-if-he-doesn't-stop-being-so-unpleasant Lewbert, who screamed and took hold of a broom and headed down the basement, ready to take on rats and the large, horrible, undiscovered species of insects that apparently wanted to take over his little room down there. Oh, you really should have seen him run. It scared a baby, and the baby wasn't even awake at that time.

Carly, of course, heard Sam's racket, but she didn't want her best friend inside the apartment now.

"No way, Sam! Not until you've made right the wrong you did!" she shouted over the din of the blender and Spencer's shrieks of delight after discovering an old videogame system he used to play as a kid, hidden under the piles of pink-and-green underwear that served as his pet beetle's bed.

"So I blew up the furnace, set the couch on fire, broke a few windows and used toothpaste to glue my grandma's teeth to the dog. I was just having fun!"

"You've gone way too overboard now, Sam," Carly retorted. She got tired of having to hear over the random noises that she headed to the door and opened it wide enough for Sam to see her, but not so much so that Sam won't have a chance to slip in.

"But I thought my mother would believe me when I said Gunther dug up a time bomb in our yard and decided to blow up the furnace, setting the couch on fire and making my grandma so shocked that she accidentally let go of her dentures while she was brushing them. "

"And you expect her to believe that?"

"Psh. Yeah. She'll believe anything. Last time, I told her a hobo ate our chocolate cake and made a horse trample on her vases, and she set out to find a chocoloate-cake eating hobo and teach the guy a lesson with her broomstick." Sam snickered at the silly thought.

"Still, you've gone overboard, Sam. Don't you ever feel sorry for your mother?"

"Don't you feel sorry for me? Out here, alone, kicked out of the house. Hamless..." Sam looked down at her feet and looked positively lost, but being her best friend, Carly knew better. Sam would have tricked any other unassuming girl who had a kind heart (especially since, for some reason, Sam was a great actress), but not Carly.

"I do feel sorry for you, Sam. But I couldn't help but get the impression that you're making fun of your mom! So until you get yourself there and apologize to her, I won't let you in."

"But Carly!"

Too late. She shut the door, and the sound of the blender went on again.

Mmm. Blenders. Reminds me of fruit shakes. Or smoothies.

Sam rubbed her stomach, obviously hungry. But she had no money, she had no home to get to (would you really think Sam would say sorry now?), and worst of all, Carly wouldn't take her in for the night. Or for a week. Where should she go?

She ticked off all possible places. Carly's and her home were off the list. Groovy Smoothies definitely drove off those who stayed overnight. The park was filled with hobos. Lewbert's was definitely not there. Gibby's? No. Ms. Briggs? Definitely not. Break in school and sleep in the clinic? Oh, but the bad-tempered school nurse lived there.

Finally, she ran out of all possible places, until she only had one left.

No way.

Way, a nagging voice broke in.

I couldn't do this. No, you've got to be kidding me. Not THAT place! Sam thought desperately to herself. I'd rather go to juvy!

Juvy my butt! Get in there! They've got ham.

Ham?

Yes, ham! Don't you smell it?

Boy, Sam thought to herself again. Nagging voice in my head's right. There is ham. I can smell it.

So she plucked up all the courage the go and knock on the Benson's apartment door, trying to resist the urge to just let her hunger pass and sleep outside the Shay's door. Sam Puckett was not the one to let the opportunity to eat ham and satisfy her hunger pass. She'd die or go into a nerd's house just for ham. That's how much she loves the stuff.

A/N: Second Seddie fanfic here. I actually planned the whole story to be a oneshot, but I guess it needs three chapters to encompass the whole plot. But whatever. The more the merrier, right? Reviews are well appreciated, although could you guys do me a favor and tell me in detail what you think? I'm kinda getting tired of comments that say 'good job' or 'i liked it' or something. Ohyeah. Tell me the weak points too, so I could make the story better.