TITLE: Soul Talking
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: [email protected]
SUMMARY: Angel and Cordy share moments and talk.
SPOILER: Birthday
RATING: TV-PG
DISTRIBUTION: http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - anyone else just ask
DISCLAIMER: Joss and David G. own the characters. They suck.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I love, love, love, LOVE this fic. That's all.
1/15/01
3:36 p.m.
"Connor asleep?" Cordy pulled the covers up to her chin and smiled. He'd ordered her to spend at least the next night, if not the next two or three, in that room at the hotel where she'd been resting while comatose. He waited on her hand and foot and even brought her Milky Ways chopped up in strawberry ice cream, her favorite. Cordy liked being spoiled by Angel. She liked being special to him.
She also liked levitating. A lot. It made her feel superior to everyone except for Angel. Or maybe even a little superior to him, but not a lot.
"Finally," Angel handed Cordy a plate with orange slices on it. "Eat."
She ate. "He's a little doll though."
"That he is," Angel agreed. "The insomnia thing could use some work."
"He's a baby," Cordy said in between bites of orange. "He'll adjust."
A moment passed, and then Angel said, "Listen, Cordy," in a serious voice at the same time that she sat up straighter and said, "Look Angel."
"You go," he told her. "Ladies first."
"You're older," Cordy said, smirking.
Angel rolled his eyes. "Just go on."
"I saw you," Cordy said quietly.
"Saw me what?"
"I saw you with the PTB. I saw you trying to make the take away my visions."
"I was trying to—wait," confusion washed over Angel's face. "You saw me? How did you see me?"
"Remember Skip? Ugly demon who pretended to be my guide or whatever? He took me to see you begging them to take my visions away."
"I went there trying to protect you."
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," she at the last bite of orange and set the plate on the nightstand. "I hated seeing you do that, Angel. I hated you for it."
"How much did you see?" he asked in a weak voice Cordelia had never heard him use before. She didn't think he could sound weak, but he truly did. He sort of looked it, too.
"I saw enough," she said icily. "I left before you could call me weak and pathetic."
"Cordelia, I would never—"
"Cordelia?" she interrupted. "So we're back to full names. I'd call you by yours, but I don't know it."
"Liam Michael. And I don't think you're weak."
"I'm not weak," she said defensively.
"I know that."
"Then why—"
"I was terrified," Angel admitted.
"Terrified of what?"
"Do you have any idea how scared I was of losing you?" Angel asked. "Can you comprehend what that would do to me?"
"Angel—"
"I couldn't leave the whole time you were lying here. I was sitting beside you, holding you hand, kissing your cheek, I just couldn't leave. And when Wesley said that you could die...I just snapped. I had to save you."
Cordy suddenly wished that she was wearing makeup and had her hair fixed. "Angel—"
"I begged Them for you," Angel confessed. "Told Them I'd do anything to save you."
"It wasn't in your hands," Cordy said gently.
"I told them how we need you here, how you help me with the fight, how I was more afraid of losing you, forever, than you could ever know."
Cordy's eyes widened but she didn't say a word.
"I told them I loved you," Angel continued, and Cordy could've sworn she saw a single tear slide down his cheek. She let out a little squeal as what he just said sunk in, and Angel froze.
What did i just say? he thought.
"What did I just say?" Angel asked, shuddering.
"Me too," Cordy put her hand on top of his. "Me too."
"But I didn't mean to—I didn't want—what WAS that?" Angel asked, leaning away from her touch. "What was that?"
"It was your soul talking," Cordy whispered. "It's nice to know there's room in there for me, too."
"Cordelia. Cordy, I'm so—"
"I know," she nodded, blushing just a little. "Me too."
Angel wrapped his arms around her and they hugged. Cordy pulled away just enough to rest her hands on Angel's chest. She unbuttoned his shirt and ran her fingertips up and down his chest before pulling back and staring at him.
"All these years," she muttered, "All this time and now, we happen."
"Who woulda thought—"
"Me," Cordy smiled. "I've always loved you. Just in a different way."
"Cordy," Angel was finding it difficult to get the words out, and that made Cordelia smirk. "Before we start anything," he said, "I have to be honest with you."
"You still love Buffy," Cordy said knowingly. "I know that."
"You do?"
"Of course. Angel, I saw you two together. I saw you when the world almost ended, I saw you when she died and was brought to life again. I saw you when you were lost without her and I saw you when you two were so blissful, it made me want to hurl.
"I know you love her, Angel," Cordy continued quietly, "But you love me too. And I won't let you go the way she did. I'm not afraid that things might get hard. Unlike Buffy, I don't run when things get hard."
Angel opened his mouth to defend his first love, but the words wouldn't come out. He'd expected to be filled with rage because Buffy was being attacked, but he wasn't.
He wasn't even angry, because even though it hurt, everything Cordelia said was true.
"I've been waiting for a long time to tell you," he admitted. "I just couldn't find the words."
"No words needed," Cordy said before brushing her lips against Angel's. She felt her eyes flutter closed and her lips opened to let Angel's tongue explore her mouth.
Though tense at their first connection, and shocked that Cordelia had made the first move, Angel relaxed into the kiss, giving into the heat rising through his body.
A small part of his mind flashed the word Betrayal, but Angel ignored it. Buffy had done far worse, and much sooner. It was time to move on, and he was.
Besides, he reasoned as the kiss grew deeper, Buffy doesn't want me anymore. His heart wanted to be with Cordelia, and for the first time in three years, he was doing what it told him to do.
Warmth coated Angel's blood and made him feel alive. No one but Buffy had brought that out in him before, but he wasn't about to compare the two.
When Cordy finally broke their kiss, her lips were swollen and she was gasping for air. She looked to Angel for an answer, for a sign. She was terrified that the word "mistake" would cross his lips, and then her new demonic side would take over and there was no telling what she'd do or where she'd levitate his ass. She momentarily thought about levitating her own ass back in time to stake him when he still lived in Sunnydale.
"Wow," Angel finally said. Cordy smiled.
"Your lips are as great as they look," Cordy muttered.
"Now what?" Angel asked her. "Where are we?"
"We're a couple, who's just starting to date," Cordy said, laying back down and pulling the covers back up to keep Angel's warmth close to her. "And now, I'm going to sleep, and you're going to your room to watch Connor sleep. And tomorrow, we're going to have our first date. Good night."
Angel knew better than to argue with her. He went straight to his room and lay awake all night. Like every night for the past year, he couldn't get Cordy out of his mind, only this time, it was her kiss that kept him up all night and not the notion that he'd never, ever get to kiss her.
In her room, Cordy didn't get much sleep, either. It took everything she had not to go in Angel's room and challenge the power of that curse of his.
That, she decided, sighing, will have to wait until tomorrow.
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: [email protected]
SUMMARY: Angel and Cordy share moments and talk.
SPOILER: Birthday
RATING: TV-PG
DISTRIBUTION: http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - anyone else just ask
DISCLAIMER: Joss and David G. own the characters. They suck.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I love, love, love, LOVE this fic. That's all.
1/15/01
3:36 p.m.
"Connor asleep?" Cordy pulled the covers up to her chin and smiled. He'd ordered her to spend at least the next night, if not the next two or three, in that room at the hotel where she'd been resting while comatose. He waited on her hand and foot and even brought her Milky Ways chopped up in strawberry ice cream, her favorite. Cordy liked being spoiled by Angel. She liked being special to him.
She also liked levitating. A lot. It made her feel superior to everyone except for Angel. Or maybe even a little superior to him, but not a lot.
"Finally," Angel handed Cordy a plate with orange slices on it. "Eat."
She ate. "He's a little doll though."
"That he is," Angel agreed. "The insomnia thing could use some work."
"He's a baby," Cordy said in between bites of orange. "He'll adjust."
A moment passed, and then Angel said, "Listen, Cordy," in a serious voice at the same time that she sat up straighter and said, "Look Angel."
"You go," he told her. "Ladies first."
"You're older," Cordy said, smirking.
Angel rolled his eyes. "Just go on."
"I saw you," Cordy said quietly.
"Saw me what?"
"I saw you with the PTB. I saw you trying to make the take away my visions."
"I was trying to—wait," confusion washed over Angel's face. "You saw me? How did you see me?"
"Remember Skip? Ugly demon who pretended to be my guide or whatever? He took me to see you begging them to take my visions away."
"I went there trying to protect you."
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," she at the last bite of orange and set the plate on the nightstand. "I hated seeing you do that, Angel. I hated you for it."
"How much did you see?" he asked in a weak voice Cordelia had never heard him use before. She didn't think he could sound weak, but he truly did. He sort of looked it, too.
"I saw enough," she said icily. "I left before you could call me weak and pathetic."
"Cordelia, I would never—"
"Cordelia?" she interrupted. "So we're back to full names. I'd call you by yours, but I don't know it."
"Liam Michael. And I don't think you're weak."
"I'm not weak," she said defensively.
"I know that."
"Then why—"
"I was terrified," Angel admitted.
"Terrified of what?"
"Do you have any idea how scared I was of losing you?" Angel asked. "Can you comprehend what that would do to me?"
"Angel—"
"I couldn't leave the whole time you were lying here. I was sitting beside you, holding you hand, kissing your cheek, I just couldn't leave. And when Wesley said that you could die...I just snapped. I had to save you."
Cordy suddenly wished that she was wearing makeup and had her hair fixed. "Angel—"
"I begged Them for you," Angel confessed. "Told Them I'd do anything to save you."
"It wasn't in your hands," Cordy said gently.
"I told them how we need you here, how you help me with the fight, how I was more afraid of losing you, forever, than you could ever know."
Cordy's eyes widened but she didn't say a word.
"I told them I loved you," Angel continued, and Cordy could've sworn she saw a single tear slide down his cheek. She let out a little squeal as what he just said sunk in, and Angel froze.
What did i just say? he thought.
"What did I just say?" Angel asked, shuddering.
"Me too," Cordy put her hand on top of his. "Me too."
"But I didn't mean to—I didn't want—what WAS that?" Angel asked, leaning away from her touch. "What was that?"
"It was your soul talking," Cordy whispered. "It's nice to know there's room in there for me, too."
"Cordelia. Cordy, I'm so—"
"I know," she nodded, blushing just a little. "Me too."
Angel wrapped his arms around her and they hugged. Cordy pulled away just enough to rest her hands on Angel's chest. She unbuttoned his shirt and ran her fingertips up and down his chest before pulling back and staring at him.
"All these years," she muttered, "All this time and now, we happen."
"Who woulda thought—"
"Me," Cordy smiled. "I've always loved you. Just in a different way."
"Cordy," Angel was finding it difficult to get the words out, and that made Cordelia smirk. "Before we start anything," he said, "I have to be honest with you."
"You still love Buffy," Cordy said knowingly. "I know that."
"You do?"
"Of course. Angel, I saw you two together. I saw you when the world almost ended, I saw you when she died and was brought to life again. I saw you when you were lost without her and I saw you when you two were so blissful, it made me want to hurl.
"I know you love her, Angel," Cordy continued quietly, "But you love me too. And I won't let you go the way she did. I'm not afraid that things might get hard. Unlike Buffy, I don't run when things get hard."
Angel opened his mouth to defend his first love, but the words wouldn't come out. He'd expected to be filled with rage because Buffy was being attacked, but he wasn't.
He wasn't even angry, because even though it hurt, everything Cordelia said was true.
"I've been waiting for a long time to tell you," he admitted. "I just couldn't find the words."
"No words needed," Cordy said before brushing her lips against Angel's. She felt her eyes flutter closed and her lips opened to let Angel's tongue explore her mouth.
Though tense at their first connection, and shocked that Cordelia had made the first move, Angel relaxed into the kiss, giving into the heat rising through his body.
A small part of his mind flashed the word Betrayal, but Angel ignored it. Buffy had done far worse, and much sooner. It was time to move on, and he was.
Besides, he reasoned as the kiss grew deeper, Buffy doesn't want me anymore. His heart wanted to be with Cordelia, and for the first time in three years, he was doing what it told him to do.
Warmth coated Angel's blood and made him feel alive. No one but Buffy had brought that out in him before, but he wasn't about to compare the two.
When Cordy finally broke their kiss, her lips were swollen and she was gasping for air. She looked to Angel for an answer, for a sign. She was terrified that the word "mistake" would cross his lips, and then her new demonic side would take over and there was no telling what she'd do or where she'd levitate his ass. She momentarily thought about levitating her own ass back in time to stake him when he still lived in Sunnydale.
"Wow," Angel finally said. Cordy smiled.
"Your lips are as great as they look," Cordy muttered.
"Now what?" Angel asked her. "Where are we?"
"We're a couple, who's just starting to date," Cordy said, laying back down and pulling the covers back up to keep Angel's warmth close to her. "And now, I'm going to sleep, and you're going to your room to watch Connor sleep. And tomorrow, we're going to have our first date. Good night."
Angel knew better than to argue with her. He went straight to his room and lay awake all night. Like every night for the past year, he couldn't get Cordy out of his mind, only this time, it was her kiss that kept him up all night and not the notion that he'd never, ever get to kiss her.
In her room, Cordy didn't get much sleep, either. It took everything she had not to go in Angel's room and challenge the power of that curse of his.
That, she decided, sighing, will have to wait until tomorrow.