This is for Banan Babe903's Ipod contest. I am having a major writers block, and I hope that this helps me to get out of this crappy funk. :( So I hope it's good, and enjoy. :)

Song: Music for a Nurse

Artist: Oceansize

Category: Twilight

And a piece of the pictures bitten right out of the middle

I'm alone and thinner I feel

Is this a prayer?

Anaesthetize me just til you return

I feel the loss like a squandered opportunity to whisper

You're all I ever needed.

January 21, 2007

I lied there, chasing away his memory, his name, his breath, with my small and fragile heart. Please, don't do this to me, I thought to myself, pleading for his memories to leave me in peace, before the hole in my heart grew bigger. The last thing I needed was for the tears to flow, no matter how badly I needed his touch, his kiss, his scent. I kept my eyes closed, wanting to sleep, to be numb, so that I would no longer feel the pain. After what seemed like years of bickering with myself, I finally agreed. Carefully, so as to not shatter myself again, I began with a simple memory; the way he said my name. Soon after, rivers were flowing down my cheeks, and I let myself slip away.

Shapes fall into place

For once in your life you make

A clean breakaway.

February 2, 2007

Finally, we were out of that disgusting town. It was so annoying, being around so many perverted, normal humans. I smiled at the thought, that we were away from so many humans as Emmett and I drove around in my red convertible, the one he had bought me for Christmas a year ago. Or maybe it was two; I didn't really care. Time meant nothing to us, and it never really mattered. He smiled at me, leaning down to kiss me. I puckered my lips in response, always wanting a kiss from my husband, my bear. We kissed for a moment, before I turned my eyes back to the road, sensing a police cruise somewhere nearby. It was wonderful, being away from everything. And sure, Edward had basically tortured himself after he dumped Bella, and he still wasn't over it, but maybe he would come around again. This was practically the first time that we had been able to get out of a town so cleanly; he should be grateful to Carlisle and Esme. And now Bella could lead a human life, something that would always be out of my grasp. "I don't know what I would do without you," he suddenly whispered to me, kissing my temple. I smiled at him, before something struck me. His words echoed in my mind for a moment, and I wondered where I had heard that before. Somewhere, when we were still living in that God-forsaken small town. Had it been one of the petty high schoolers? No, it had been much deeper. Then, I remembered my brother's face, and it occurred to me when I had heard those words. Maybe leaving hadn't been the best idea after all.

And did you know that everything you touch is blessed and all the richer

For your love a better being

And if I display just a fraction of the soul you showed in this world

Then I know I'll see you again.

February 27, 2007

I smiled at my best friend, my pale moon. She smiled back, although it wasn't quite as genuine as it was when he was here. Sometimes just thinking about him caused my fists to clench, my eyes to harden. Just thinking about what he was doing to her, all the pain that he was missing. But then I looked at her again, saw her small pale frame, her eyes hollow of some life, and remembered that she needed me, and that I needed her. Quil, Embry; the may have been like my brothers, but they were nothing compared to the closeness I felt with her. I knew that some of that closeness was based on the feelings I had for her. Or maybe it was completely based on those feelings for her. But I didn't care. He was gone, and I was here. And no matter how long she needed me, or how long it would take her to realize that he left her for a reason, I would still be here. Because she needed me.

Love so much to give

And too few to share it with

Wastes you away.

March 4, 2007

I watched Bella eat her cereal, her eyes just as lifeless as when Cullen had left. Or maybe worse. She hadn't spoken to me much after I called Billy, and I understood why. When Jacob left her, I saw exactly what I had been when she had left, and taken Bella with her. I saw the loneliness, the pain, and the sadness. I saw the yearning. I just hadn't said anything, because I hoped that she could pull her way through, and try to get out of the hole she was digging, that large hole of despair. But then I saw that she wasn't even trying. That it seemed that she wanted to live in that hole, to bury herself in it, just to keep his memories. That made me angry. It made me want to scream, "Look at yourself! This isn't helping, and he's not coming back!"But I knew that that was going to hurt her more, the knowledge that she couldn't, and would never fool me again. Not with those large brown eyes of hers. The color of her mother's eyes.

The dream it comes again and again

You're here

It's you

I pull you close and

Hold you tight

Into the sky you go

You go

And I can't change it

I can't change it.

March 19, 2007

I closed my eyes, thinking back to her soft brown eyes, the floral scent of her skin against my cold, hard skin. How beautiful she was, her own Goddess, her own flower, her own self. I reminded myself that it would only be a matter of time before I joined her, and we would be reunited again, this time for a true eternity. A little bit longer, I thought to myself, unbuttoning my blue shirt, my cold feet bare on the tiles of the Volturri home. I inhaled deeply for a moment, reveling in the many scents around me. I'm going, I may as well remember everything that is going on so I can tell her when I see her, I smiled, my lips curling upwards. Dearest Bella, I love you, my last thoughts, as I stepped forward into the sun. I felt pressure on my chest then, and warmth as I heard her say my name.

So pretty please leave a review, if you think this story is worth the effort. Thanks. :)