Hey people...It's me again...This is my new one..

I wish I own this anime but no such luck..

Please excuse me for my crappy art of GRAMMAR! and anjoy this sad story of mine...

He opened his eyes. Deep sapphire cold blue eyes scanned the scene around him. Lovely pale face framed by perfect sharp nose, thin pretty lips and dark fringe that laid just beneath his eyebrows held nothing but pure emptiness.

So here we go again. How many times do I have to find myself in a bloody war? The dark-haired exorcist thought to himself.

He lifted his gaze. The sun was setting beyond the horizon. The sky appeared much redder then usual. So much redder that it made everything appears haunting. Perhaps it was because of the blood all around him that made him think that way. He wasn't sure. Nobody was.

Tearing his gaze from the sky, he saw everyone of his friends and comrades fighting along him. In each and every eye, he noticed, held the same cold emotion. Hate. The sound of shrieking monsters shook his soul to the core. It was almost heart-breaking for him to hear all the cries of people getting killed all around him. One by one, heroes and innocent souls dropped to the ground. Little by little, it all slowly starts to end.

Why did all these start? Should this be happening? When will it end?

He found the same questions stir in him over and over again as he grinds his blood stained sword, killing one after another.

With each step he took, he could clearly feel the thin river of blood mixed with dirty soil beneath his heavy boots.

How many will die? How many will be left behind? He wondered innocently.

All was too late. Nothing can be saved. Nothing can be remained. Despite the fear and pain in his mentally and physically wounds, he put on a brave front like always and continued to cut his way through. Giving up was just not the nature of Yuu Kanda.

Not too far away, he saw one particular red-headed. He swung his hammer in circular motions furiously to block deadly gun shoots, his deep emerald green eye, one hidden behind a black eye-patch, that always reminds him of a fresh meadow in spring held a kind of hardness he had never seen before.

With no hint of hesitation, the hammer dropped onto the slaves from hell, desperately trying to bring salvage back. But fate is a very funny thing. It always manages to find a way to twist everything into the way it was never meant to be.

From the corner of this beautiful dark-haired exorcist's eyes, he saw a dull rusty sword manipulated by a gruesome creature speeding towards that red-headed exorcist. Yes, it's that particular red-headed that never fails to make his cold lonely heart go THUMP! every time he looks into his eyes.

Yes, it's that one and only person who always push the limits of Kanda's temper to the point of never seen before and yes, it's that idiot who was the only one that could make the edge of Kanda's lips lift.

Yes! It's that only guy in the whole universe that could hold the dangerous hot-tempered Japanese exorcist tightly in his arms and Yes! It's that one and only Lavi that has the courage to love the lovely Kanda and also the one and only human being ever to make Kanda fall heads-over-heels in love with him.

*flash back*

"Yuu-chan!" an annoying loud voice yelled over the sounds of machines exploding and humans screaming.

"Watch out!" but too late, the sword cut Kanda at the stomach as he tried to cut the monster while wrestling with another. Lavi ran over to his comrade and hit both creatures with his hammer, sending them back to hell.

"Yuu-chan!" he yelled out as he watched the man dropped to the bloody soil.

"Are you alright? Can you hear me? God! You're bleeding!" he cried as he bend down trying to help his friend but fail miserably.

"Yuu-chan! Answer me! Open your eyes! Don't die on me!" the red-headed shouted as he rest the other's head on his lap.

"Stop shouting at my ear you moron!" the long-haired teenage boy finally snapped open his eyes and yelled.

"Yuu-chan!" Lavi exclaimed hugging him close. "Are you alright?"

"Get off me! We're still in the middle of a fight!" Kanda tried to shove him away while trying to cut the monsters charging from behind Lavi.

Reluctantly, Lavi let go and stood up and continued to fight. It took them another half an hour to finish off the Akuma left.

"Let's go stupid rabbit!" Kanda snapped holding his wound and staggered towards his comrade who was lying on his back on the bloody grass, resting.

"I hate you Yuu-chan." he said softly without turning around. Kanda frowned and stopped in his tracks. He was surprised and the truth is, it kinda...hurt when he heard those words.

"Good to know." he snapped angrily and started to walk away.

"I really hate you!" a loud voice announced again at him from behind. Kanda turned around scowling.

"Shut up already you moron! Hate me all you want and see if I care!" Lavi jumped up from the grass and stalked towards Kanda and grabbed him by his arm and turned him around roughly.

"You're stupid Yuu-chan." he said glaring at him.

"So are you for getting mad over I-don't-know-what!"

"I thought you were gonna die just now."

"You know I won't die over a little cut!"

"Stupid idiot Yuu!"

"Che!" they glared at each other like two angry dogs before turning away. Kanda stalked away feeling angry at Lavi and stupid for getting mad at Lavi.

A hand grabbed his arm again and this time when he was turned around roughly, his face came contact with a mess of red hair. It took him total of 3 seconds to realize his best friend was hugging him.

"Let go!" he warned angrily but the hand refused to budge.

"I love you Yuu-chan." a small voice whispered into his hair and Kanda froze in his embrace for the longest time ever.

"Did you hit your head somewhere? Let go of me!" Kanda blushed and tried to shove him away but was pulled back only to come contact with something very soft and warm on his lips.

It was their third time kissing and it lasted for the longest time since the first two didn't went well.

"I was scared when I saw the sword cut you. I didn't mean to get mad." Lavi said silently after their little kiss ended. Kanda closed his eyes wondering if his heart would break his ribs for beating so hard and sighed.

"Baka usagi, I don't die over such a stupid cut. Stop acting like a sissy." he said calmly despite his internal turmoil.

"I'm sorry Yuu...For yelling at you, I didn't mean to." the edge of the Japanese exorcist's lips lifted a little.

"Idiot." they were sixteen and they were naive. Without meaning to, without realizing, without any warning nor experience, they both fell so hard in love.

*end of flash back*

When did it start? How far will it go? And where will it end, this love that was never meant to be? From the beginning, they both knew, love is nothing but a mere illusion. Right from the start, they knew that this amazing magic called love would die and vanish into thin air like ashes. They both knew too well, but what is this heavy weight in these young hearts?

Adrenaline suddenly kicked in forcing the long muscular legs of the tall Japanese exorcist to move. Reality snapped back into his head as he ran towards that red-headed that was so precious to him. With a few clean strokes, every thing in his path was banished. Nobody messes with Yuu Kanda when he's mad.

It's like as everyone says, life is a bloody bastard. Time is its assistant and along with the help of emotions, they send humanity into chaos. Only God knows how hard he ran that day. But yet again and again, destiny likes to play nasty tricks and cruelly prevented him from making it.

It all happened slowly...

The rusty sword and twisted smile continued to speed towards that particular red-headed as Lavi continued to swing his hammer around, oblivious to the gruesome creature behind him.

"NO!" Kanda shouted with all his might.

With his own bare, naked eyes, he watched everything happen. The weapon stolen from the angels of death pierced right into the other's chest all the way through the back. Confused deep emerald green eye turned around just in time to see the smile of his murderer.

With an outstretched hand, Kanda tried to stop the sword from hitting the man he had given his all to...but he was too late, he was so close! but still too late.

"NO! LAVI!" he screamed with all his might but it doesn't matter, no angels nor God heard his plead. The sound of ribs cracking was so loud and obvious, it made his knees go weak. With a gleeful laugh, the disgraceful slave ran off before anyone could catch him.

Two long arms caught Lavi before he hit the ground. In the depth of deep green eye, laughter and mischief was replaced with confusion and pain.

Sapphire cold blue eyes looked at his lover's face in disbelief. Why did this happened? Where can the answer be found? Once again, from the beginning they both knew, the door of death is always close by whenever they're in a war but why were they so shocked.

Once the black and white coat was slipped on and buttoned, every hero must be readied to face death head on with no fear. But why? Why? Why?! Why was he so shocked to see this happen?

The moment soldiers step into the battle field, they were named heroes. In each and every victory, sacrifices has to be made. But who knew? Who knew life could be so cruel? Kanda quickly carry Lavi away from the middle of battlefield to a clearing with a few big trees and rest his head on his lap.

"Yuu-chan," two words escaped from the mixed race exorcist as the other cradle him ever so gently into his arms.

"Ouch, that bloody cut actually hurts." he said weakly.

"Shut up! It's not a cut you idiot! You were stabbed!" harsh yet worried voice yelled at him without meaning to as he tried not to panic when he noticed blood started to pool all around them, soaking his own black pants.

"Pain," Lavi mumbled, threatening to slip out of consciousness. Shaky hands tried to stop the bleeding but fail miserably.

Glassy green eye lifted and gaze at the man he loved oh so dearly. His hair was amazingly tidy, he noticed, even after two days of war. His usual pale flawless skin that should belong to a female was stained with blood as he saw fear and love in those lovely midnight blue eyes.

*flash back*

"Everyone! Let's give one toast to the sad, miserable science department whom had done nothing all year around but only to make some terrible inventions that always backfires the exorcists and cause troubles!" half of the people cheered in agreement while the other half booed at the red-headed who was standing on the table, holding his glass of liquor high.

"Lift your glasses people and we shall thank everyone who managed to stay here up until today to support us! Cheers!"

"Cheers!" everyone cheered with him and tipped their glasses empty. The whole cafeteria was filled with laughter and smiles and cheers during New Year's eve. Everyone was celebrating the coming of a new year and they knew, at anytime, the people they love around him might die in a war.

"Lavi! Let's play the Truth or Dare!" Johnny exclaimed over the noisy crowd waving his hand wildly at Lavi who was just about to get off the table.

"What?" he shouted over the noises.

"A game! Truth or Dare!" Johnny shouted again as Lavi made his way towards the group of people.

"Truth or Dare?" he asked scratching his head. "Isn't that too cliché? How old are you? 13?"

"Aww, come on, let's play! Kanda is going to play too!" Leenale chirped ignoring the glare she was receiving from the long-haired exorcist. Lavi raised an eyebrow at Kanda while he rolled his eyes.

"Ok! Truth or Dare it is! So who starts first?" Lavi asked excitedly and sat down opposite Allen.

"Okay, I shall go first!" Reever announced a little too enthusiastically and spun the empty bottle eagerly. Everyone watched the bottle spin intently and cheered(except Kanda) when it stopped, pointing at Leenale.

"Truth or Dare Leenale?" Reever asked grinning wickedly at him.

"Hmm," the dark-haired girl looked thoughtful for a moment before exclaiming, "Truth!"

"Ok, here goes. Have you ever worn a red thongs before?" everyone around the table whooped and cheered.

"What kind of sad stupid question is that?" Tapp exclaimed laughing heartily, getting a little tipsy from his drink.

"That is so dumb! Ask another question!" Allen added.

"Did I hear something about Leenale wearing RED thongs?!" a voice exclaimed from behind the group.

"How could you perverted little people ask my poor innocent Leenale such indecent question?! That's disgraceful!" Komui squeezed into the group, hugging an embarrassed Leenale and everyone started to argue with the chief.

"That's OK people! Stop that! Let's move on to the next question!" Allen shouted over the arguments and everyone calmed down.

"I'll go next!" Allen said and spun the bottle and this time, it ended up pointing at Lavi. Everyone whooped and cheered again.

"Truth or Dare Lavi?"

"I'll go with truth."

"Ask him about Kanda, Allen!" someone whispered loudly.

"No! Ask if he's still a virgin!" another cut in.

"Hey, I get to ask the question! Not you bunch of perverts!" Allen snapped and turn back to the grinning red-headed.

"What would you do with your last breath of life?" the cheer around them died down suddenly. Everyone stopped laughing and looked down at their glasses like it suddenly turned into the most amusing thing ever.

"Why ask such question?" Kanda snapped loudly from his seat frowning.

"That's OK Yuu-chan," Lavi said quickly, waving away the sudden sad look in everyone's eyes 'cause they knew things like that can happen anytime.

"Hmm, let's see." Lavi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well, if I have one last breath, what would I do?"

"Ahh!" he shouted suddenly. "I know!" he grinned happily. "With my last breath, I would tell my special person that I love him!" he said matter-in-factly. Everyone looked at him for a moment before grinning suspiciously and nudge him with their elbows.

"Who might that lucky person be?" Krory smiled evilly at Lavi while emerald green eye caught sapphire blue eyes.

"Haha." he laughed awkwardly at the questions as he blushed and looked away from Kanda's eyes.

*end of flashback*

"Yuu-chan," his name escaped from his lips. Painful blue eyes tore it's gaze from his wound to meet his gentle green eye. Kanda studied the messy red hair that his face always came contact with every morning in his bed. He gazed at the lovely eye that was always filled with darkness and pain he desperately wants to hide. He looked at those lovely lips that always say stupid things and kissed him senseless.

"Don't look so sad." he whispered, his face turning pale fast. Lovely face frowned at him.

"Shut up and stay here. I'll go look for help." he said quietly, forcing himself not to panic.

"No!" His lover immediately protest and grabbed his arm. "Don't go!"

"You're gonna die at this rate idiot!"

"I'm gonna die anyway, the sword is rusted." he said calmly, peering at the rusty metal sticking out of his chest.

Pain reflected in Kanda's face as he lifted Lavi and carried him to a small clearing with large trees, away from the middle of the battlefield. A usually warm hand reached out and held the Japanese's hand.

"I'm sorry Yuu-chan." he smiled tiredly at him. Kanda looked down at their hands that looked like they were made for each other and bit his lip.

Every life has an ending. Every life has a story. Every life has a journey. Every life has painful things to face. Together the two young and innocent life experienced love, happiness, bitterness and everything they need to know and now, angels of death has to take away one of them. Question is, where will it leave the other?

"Yuu," a cold shaky hand reached out to caress his soft cheeks and touched his long silky hair as his green eye studied his face that was filled with sadness and tears that welled behind his eyes.

Slowly, carefully, Kanda leaned down and put his arms around Lavi and hugged him as tightly as possible without hurting him. The breathing of the red-headed one was getting slower and slower. Too soon, it was too soon for him to go.

*flash back*

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Silence.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Silence.

Slowly the wooden door creaks open and stepped in a tall young exorcist. It was at least 2 am in the night and everything was so dark, the young exorcist could barely see.

Silently, the young man started to make his way towards the bed of a particular beautiful long dark-haired man.

"Yuu-chan," he whispered, his voice cracked and no one responded him.

"Yuu-chan!" he whispered louder, hugging his pillow closely to his chest.

"Tsk." an annoyed sound came from under the sheets.

"What do you want, you moron!" a tired voice demanded from under his sheets.

"It's snowing!" the other exclaimed.

"So? You came all the way here to announce it's snowing?" Kanda sat up from his bed and glared Lavi tiredly.

"I'm cold." the other muttered and Kanda could not see his expression in the darkness.

"Che." he spat irritably. "Just make some fire or something."

"You know what happened the last time I used the fire place."

"Yeah, you burned your hair. Let's hope you burn yourself too this time! Now leave me alone!" the Japanese exorcist lay back on his bed and pull his thick sheets over him.

"Yuu-chan," the other called, almost pleadingly. After a couple minutes of silence, Kanda sat up again feeling really irritated.

"Che!" he spat angrily and scooted closer to the wall to make space. Without hesitating, the other exorcist sneak into his bed and lay close to Kanda.

"Move over a bit, you're too close!" The raven hair man hissed and Lavi only moved closer to him.

"Yuu-chan," he whispered tiredly and wrapped his arms around the other. "I'm cold."

"Che! Let go you moron!" Kanda tried to pull away but arms tightened stubbornly around his waist.

"Lavi," he said, his voice sharp and dangerous. "Stop being so cl-" a pair of warm lips didn't let him finish his sentence. Poor Kanda's heart nearly failed.

"Che! What is that for?!" Kanda pulled away frowning and blushing furiously.

"That's your good night kiss." Lavi answered simply.

"Tsk! Stop doing things like that! It's annoying!" harsh cold voice whispered angrily at him.

"We've been dating for more then a year already, stop being so petty and let me sleep." Lavi mumbled half asleep, paying no attention at all to his lover's remarks.

"Che, you stupid wuss, always come running to me." Kanda said irritably and almost smiled when he saw the tired looking red-headed fall asleep clinging to him. He sighed and lay back down and wrapped his arms around the red-headed.

"Night Yuu-chan," Lavi slurred tiredly. "I love you." Kanda smiled the softest smile ever when he heard those words and snuggled closer to his lover who smelled like the indescribable smell of Lavi mixed with old books and autumn leaves.

"Go to sleep, idiot." he said softly and kissed the mixed race exorcist on the forehead.

And I love you too. He said softly in his heart, never have the courage to say it out loud. Without meaning to, without realizing, Lavi meant more then anything in the world to him, without him, Yuu Kanda can no longer live.

*end of flash back*

"Lavi," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Stay with me! Don't you dare leave me like this!" he yelled at the man that waltzed into his life and melted his heart and taught him love and dance.

"Yuu-chan," a small smile lifted his deadly pale features. "I'm sorry." he said into his ear and had a coughing fit causing blood to splutter out of his mouth. Every part of Kanda died a little at those three words as he frowned, desperately trying to control his feelings.

"I love you so much Yuu-chan, don't forget that." he whispered again, as fiercely as he could, darkness slowly elope him.

Dear Lord above, why is your little game called Life so unfair? Who will hug Yuu-chan in the middle of cold winter nights to keep him warm? Who will have to kiss him every night before bed? Who will watch carefully if he's eating properly? Who will take care of him if he catches a cold? Who would caress his long hair until he falls asleep?Who will annoy him and make him smile? Who could keep him alive like I do? Who would look for him in the forest every time he sulk and refuses to come back? Who would kiss him softly every time he's mad? Who will talk to him into leaving his room and spend some time with others? Who will say those sweet nothings to let him know he is loved? Who would kiss him passionately when he's angry? Who will sneak into his bed in the middle of the night to stop his nightmares? Who could make him feel calm every time he's scared?

Who will hold his hand when he is unsure? Who will make him smile even just a little? Who has the courage to love him like I do? Who can be accepted by him like he accepted me? Who will be there to make sure he's not lonely and always happy? Who can? Who will? Who could? And who would? Please don't take me away 'cause I'm all he's got. He needs me to constantly acknowledge his existence. He needs me to love him more then I love myself. So please God, don't take me away from him. Please don't make him cry.

Arms tighten around Lavi as the red-headed sent a prayer, but all was too late. Reality hit him and he realized that never again will he be able to see the red-headed running in his corridor ever again. Never will he be able to see those annoying yet comforting flaming red hair. Never again will he be able to hear his loud whinny voice calling his name and laugh. Never again will he be able to feel the warmth of his body when they sleep together or hug. Never again

"No! No! NO!" the beautiful long-haired exorcist shouted at Lavi's ear. "I didn't give you the permission to go like that! You can't you moron! You're responsible for me!"

"Why Yuu-chan? You pregnant?" a cheeky grin creeps on his face.

"Now it not the time to joke Lavi!" Kanda frowned at him, vividly aware of the amount of blood that had pooled around them.

"I'm sorry Yuu-chan." deep emerald green eye looked into his deep painful sapphire blue ones.

"I'm so sorry." tears filled the emerald green eye and Kanda realized just how afraid he was too. He looked away angrily for a long time, fighting the tears that slowly begins to well behind his eyes.

"Don't leave me Lavi," the dark-haired young man plead, turning back to him, about to lose all his equilibrium and composure. "You're all I got."

"Yuu-chan, I'm sorry but I think it's my time." his breath hitched and coughed out another mouthful of blood as his lover watched in despair.

Slowly, gently, streams of painful tears rolled down the soft pale cheeks of the Japanese exorcist representing all his emotions and pain for losing the person he loves the most.

"No! No! You're not leaving after coming into my life! You can't!" the other protested angrily.

"Yuu, Yuu," he called touching his cheek gently. "I love you so please don't cry."

"No! You don't love me!" he shouted, finally loosing all his equilibrium and composure.

"You can't love me if you're not here, you dimwit! You can't!" he cried angrily and laid his head down at Lavi's shoulder, sobbing. Thousands and millions of the junior bookman's image wave and dance in his mind.

How his face always paste with a silly grin and that annoying voice, always calling out to his name and his only with love. How seeing his wild flaming hair always calm him down and how much is he going to miss those warm lovely lips that always kiss him gently. And how his bright green eye always look at him like he means the world to him

"Lavi," tears spilled from his lovely deep sapphire eyes as he pulled away numbly and sat down on the ground and pulled the red-headed's head onto his own lap. "Lavi, please!" he said with so much emotions.

Tears fall from Lavi's eyes and he tried to smile as he pull the long haired exorcist head down by his collar and kissed him long and hard on those trembling lips with all his strength left for one last time.

"Yuu-chan, you remember last year's New Year eve? We played the Truth or Dare game." Lavi smiled weakly up at him.

Kanda nodded softly, frowning deeply in pain and sadness.

Green eye looked up at those lovely deep cold sapphire blue eyes and wondered if he will ever see them again. He gazed at his long long silky hair and reached out a hand to caress it. Cold long fingers then traced his soft milky pale cheeks and down to his lips. Emotions swelled in him as his wound throbbed hard in his chest.

Lavi started to get dizzy by losing so much blood so he smiled one last time at his lover.

"Because right now, it's almost my last breath." he started to fall out of consciousness. "And I will tell you, the person I love more then myself.." a breath caught in his throat as he cough again, spilling blood everywhere.

"Yuu-chan, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I love you with all my soul. I love you for who you are and I will love nobody else but you." he whispered so softly, Kanda had to lean down to hear.

"Lavi, Lavi," Kanda called shaking his shoulder stopping him from falling out of conscious.

"I-I love you!" he yelled loudly, telling the person his love for the first time ever he loves him.

"I love you so much!" he shouted brokenly. "More then you ever know so please don't go!" his voice dropped to a whisper. "Please don't me all alone."

Pale face framed by sharp nose and wild flaming hair lifted into a smile.

"I know Yuu-chan, I know just how much you love me because I love you...even more." the eye of our hero closed and slowly fell into a sleep that he will never wake up again.

Life is too short. Life is too cruel. Life is too sad. Life is filled with happiness and bitterness. Life can start any time. Life can end just like that. Life sometimes is not worth living. Life sometimes means everything and one thing for sure about life is it's unfair and it's incredibly painful.

Yuu Kanda hugged his lover tightly in his arms and hid his face in the mess of flaming red hair, taking in the scent autumn leaves and old books, sobbing brokenly for the one he lost, crying his name out over an over again, willing with every cell of his body for his love to come back but he never did.

Humans had been known as the most foolish creature ever in the world. They could never see the thing that is precious in front of them. Only until it's gone they realize how precious it is, but all was too late. No matter how much Kanda plead and cry and scream and fret, Lavi isn't coming back.

From the beginning, it never was about the people that left, it had always been about the people that was left behind. That day in the war Yuu Kanda lost the one he loves and along the way, he lost his will to live. Life...it's simple, it's painful, it's sweet, it's bitter and yet it's so complicated...indeed it is a bastard.

I hope that's not too bad and too lame...Sorry for killing Lavi, I'm depressed right now... Drop a comment if you want and once again,,,Sorry if this story suck...