After wading through life, getting some sleep, coping with a changing writing style, entertaining my short attention span, and doing a semi-complete overhaul that made me hesitate to post (really, this was sitting on my hd for a good bit), I'm finished. Not the happiest with it, but at least the thing's done. That point, I'm pretty much beyond it.

Shame on me for taking down the previous author's notes, but for anything further concerning Soap Bubbles, I'll kindly redirect to my lj, where that kind of rambling belongs. Plus, I'd rather leave it to interpretation as is, which is horrible considering how much I'd decided not to put in. Yes, I know there's been confusion (shame on me again), but supposedly everything should make more sense as a whole, the bigger picture, if you will. There were a lot of little things that added up to one measly thing, and I'll leave it at that for now. Honestly, the story really did get away from me, became a little darker than I'd anticipated, too. Everything went right over my head, and I'm just glad I can finally chuck it in a fire.

Overall, though, this was an..."interesting" ride, to say the least, and I can only hope it was half as interesting to read. It began as a short crack!fic that somehow developed into a cockamamie attempt at a contemporary spin on a Naruto-esque fairy tale that was inspired by Hirahara Ayaka's song, Shabondama (read: Soap Bubbles), which was based on Noguchi Ujou's poem of the same name. Yeah, and all that jazz. To anyone who actually liked this enough to stick with it, flaws and all, you are far more generous and courageous than I.

So thank you again for reading and thanks to dude, animefreak27-the otaku, Izolda, blurgirlami21, sess18, the bestest ever123, syrraki, Ashiteiru-Keiko, Soleil, and CandyShopqwe for reviewing.

Soleil: Oh, I wasn't trying to make Tsunade come across as a bad person. Despite her personal feelings, which I'd hoped she tried to hide in this case with that quick disregard toward Naruto, she has a higher responsibility other than to herself. Kishimoto's female characters leave much to be desired (for me anyway), and I wanted to play with a less pleasant aspect of her position and be more blatant about showing the political tightrope I'd think she sometimes has to walk. But since this story is limited to Sasuke and Naruto's povs, I chose not to show Tsunade's side of things, which I realise may not work in her favour.

...

Chapter Nine

Left hand gripping the thin book pressing into his side, Sasuke walked into Tsunade's office. He kept himself at arm's length from her desk, standing with his feet close together, back straight. He bowed with a small tilt of his head.

"Hokage-sama."

Tsunade didn't spare Sasuke a glance but acknowledged him with a soft grunt. She was confined between her chair and the edge of her desk, seemingly transfixed by the large scroll that hid the lower half of her face. She held the scroll upright, with her elbows propped on the desk.

There was a tic over her left eye, growing more noticeable as Tsunade continued to read. She pushed away from the desk, creating a small gap between the chair and the edge of the desk where the scroll stood. Her eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second before she sniffed and withdrew the hint of agitation from her face.

Sasuke shifted his weight, bearing a slightly wider stance. He pulled on his bag, tugged on a strap, too conscious of the weak sensation of the bag resting against his back.

Deft fingers furled the scroll quickly, and Tsunade placed it in the upper right corner of her desk, beside a tall stack of books. Reclining in her chair, she crossed one leg over the other. She let her left arm lie slack across her torso, placing her right elbow on the armrest. Her head tipped to the side, supported by her right hand while she held her chin between her thumb and forefinger.

Sasuke squared his shoulders. He met Tsunade's disinterested gaze and held his head high, attempting to feign some semblance of patience.

"I see you came back in one piece," Tsunade said. Her eyes roamed over Sasuke, for a moment lingering on the book he was holding. "You don't look too roughed up."

"I'm not."

"At least that's one less thing for me to worry about," Tsunade muttered. "Between you and that brat, you two have a lot of nerve. Showing up here whenever you want, thinking I run on your time. You weren't expected to be back until this afternoon. And it's what—almost six? You just assumed I'd be here waiting for you?"

Sasuke wasn't moved by the lacklustre complaint. As often as Tsunade claimed to waste time indulging her vices, she took her title seriously. These days she rarely left her office. Before Naruto had left for his last mission, he'd grumbled to Sasuke about it, annoyed at Tsunade for not taking care of herself. Along with Shizune, he'd chastised Tsunade for working so much. However, with the general unrest among the major hidden villages, in particular the growing distrust toward those vying for a shift in the balance of power, Sasuke knew it was more likely Tsunade would be in her office than not.

It was just a matter of whether or not she'd be willing to see him this early.

"I wonder what you'd do if I wasn't here" Tsunade said. "Turning up well before you're expected sounds like a leap of faith on your part, I want to say, that you'd think I would set aside time for you. Yet I suspect you're not the type to put conviction in such things."

Sasuke clutched the book in his hand.

"I suppose it's nice to rely on something like that every once in a while." Tsunade smirked, but the amusement quickly fell from her face. "Although since you are here," she said, "I take it you had no problems with the mission."

"Yes."

"And the delivery of the scroll was successful?"

"Yes, and this is..." Sasuke began, annoyed with himself for letting Tsunade see even the slightest hesitation. "I received this in return," he said, motioning to the book at his side.

It was the book Seiko had given him. Consequently, it was something Sasuke wasn't necessarily inclined to share with Tsunade. He'd given it enough consideration. He'd mulled over a decision that could ultimately cost him his only remaining link to Hotaru, yet the consequences of not telling Tsunade far outweighed the possibility of having the book confiscated. Although he'd accepted the book under the conviction that it was being presented to him explicitly and not the village he represented, Sasuke couldn't afford failing his mission because he neglected to reveal the book he was given in lieu of the scroll to Tsunade.

It wouldn't surprise him if that were true. As strained as the past couple of weeks had been, there wasn't much he could be sure of anymore. However, despite his current reservations, disregarding what little he knew of Hotaru's origins, especially concerning the people involved, Sasuke masked his reluctance as he handed the book to Tsunade.

He wouldn't deny some of the reluctance was due to the level of resentment he held toward her, however superficial, yet, even with their fickle relationship, Tsunade was someone Sasuke respected. More importantly, she was one of the few people he trusted. At the very least, he'd allow himself to believe that stood for something.

"They traded you that scroll for this, huh?" Tsunade accepted the book with a frown. Attentive to the worn condition, she held it in both hands. She studied the back, finger slowly trailing along the spine, and then turned it around to look at the cover. Carefully, she opened the book. She skimmed through it with a few flicks of her wrist, the lines on her forehead deepening with each turn of the page. "There's nothing in it."

Sasuke didn't bother to hide his confusion, hard pressed to contain underlying unease triggered by the possibility that evidence of his only connection to the scroll had disappeared—only to find it hadn't. He could easily make out the stylised handwriting Tsunade apparently couldn't see, the words still hauntingly familiar even when inverted. "But it's—"

"Blank," Tsunade said coolly, closing the book. "It's an old book with nothing in it, which makes it blank, worthless even." She cocked her head in thought. "It could be used as a journal of some sort, though. Maybe. You plan on writing your feelings down here?"

Sasuke could only stare.

The corner of Tsunade's mouth curled upward. "Well, the book is certainly unexpected. However, it would have been...careless, I should say, to refuse a token of goodwill. Especially in these times. Don't you agree?" Not giving Sasuke a chance to reply, she held the book toward him and said, "I suppose it's yours then. Unless you prefer..."

Sasuke made a fist with his left hand, bearing a slight pain in his wrist. Slowly extending his right arm over the desk, he waited for Tsunade to give the book to him, immediately suppressing the sudden and reckless desire to snatch it from her. "I'll take it."

Tsunade placed her hands in her lap, expression sharp as she watched Sasuke slip the book into his bag. "Kusagakure's evident hospitality aside," she said, "everything looks good so far. However, pending any further correspondence with Kusagakure and my evaluation of your mission report, we'll discuss the continued terms of your probation and what to do about that seal because—well, that I don't need to explain."

Sasuke gave an affirmative nod. There wasn't much to explain. The seal on his lower back was waning and had been since Tsunade had performed it on him. It'd been on the Council's insistence that she undertake the task, either due to her medical experience or the fact she'd exploited her authority in favour of sparing Sasuke's life when he'd returned—personally, Sasuke thought the reasoning leaned more toward the latter. There'd been an inherent flaw, though. The seal, despite being chosen by the Council, didn't fully restrain Sasuke. Although it was capable of restricting Sasuke's use of chakra, the seal wasn't strong enough to completely prevent access to it, like it'd been intended to.

The Council had supposedly been satisfied with the results because they hadn't opposed it, but neither Sasuke nor Tsunade had taken the Council's lapse in judgement lightly. Sasuke knew much of the oversight had to do with his state of mind at the time, which, coupled with the limited access to his chakra, encouraged most of the village to no longer perceive him as a threat he'd once been.

Initially, Tsunade was the only one who'd been fully aware of the seal's provisional effects. The seal's initial effectiveness had more to do with Sasuke's then emotional instability—as Naruto preferred to call it—than any extensive influence on his ability to use chakra, and it wasn't until he'd been released from house arrest that Sasuke truly took note of the seal's ineptitude.

It'd started a few months prior to beginning his assistant position at the Academy. Though Sasuke had knowingly accepted Iruka's offer for an indeterminate amount of time, the possibility of being reinstated as a ninja has still been there. So he'd engaged in a training regimen not solely dependent on chakra usage, worked to rehabilitate his body after forcibly neglecting it for so long. It was then he'd begun to notice the changes. They were slight, a series of improvements he'd thought were hardly worth notice. However, taken into context, having occurred within two weeks, the changes were vast. Regained agility and increased stamina, Sasuke had grudgingly attributed to not being in optimal shape, using it as incentive to push himself harder through each training session. But the ability to activate the bloodline he hadn't been able to use in years could only be attributed to the increasing amount of chakra at his disposal.

He'd approached Tsunade about it first, surprised she'd admitted to knowing the seal's effects wouldn't last, even more so since she'd suggested Sasuke not disclose the new development to anyone else. He hadn't even told Naruto, who'd found out last year when he'd caught Sasuke training alone in a secluded section of the forest. They hadn't been on the best terms until recently, and Naruto, true to form, had been angry at the fact Sasuke was keeping something from him. He'd demanded to know if Tsunade knew about the dwindling effects of the seal but had been pacified when Sasuke admitted to telling her.

It became a secret between them, an unspoken agreement reinforced with frequent sparring, with which Naruto was only too happy to comply. Eventually, the secret trickled down to Sakura. Kakashi had already known, although through being told by Tsunade or figuring it out for himself, he wouldn't say which. It'd been inevitable those two would know at some point, but the knowledge hadn't gone beyond them. Sasuke had maintained a somewhat modest facade, purposely holding himself back and concealing his progress. Over the course of two years, Tsunade's vague reference to the seal was only the second time she'd mentioned it.

"But before we get into that," Tsunade said, "you know the drill. And if you want your compensation anytime soon..." she began, bending over to reach for something beneath her desk on the floor. She re-emerged with a thick book in her hands and gently set in on the desk. "What's today?"

"Friday."

"Then I'm looking forward to seeing a detailed report on my desk no later than Sunday afternoon. Understood?"

"Understood."

Tsunade opened the book and licked her thumb. She flipped through the first few pages, pausing on the sixth page. Another page was turned, two more, and she sat closer to her desk, using one hand to flatten the back of the ninth page. She leaned over the book, her eyes following the fine print Sasuke couldn't distinguish. She continued to read, turning one page after another, seemingly forgetting Sasuke's presence.

"If that's all you need of me," Sasuke said, adding carefully, "Hokage-sama."

"Of course, of course." Not looking up, Tsunade made a flippant gesture with her hand, still engrossed in the book. "You can go."

Sasuke gave a curt nod and turned around to leave.

"But Uchiha."

Sasuke faltered, stopping short of reaching the threshold. "...yes?"

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Hokage-sama?"

"In Kusagakure—did you find what you were looking for?"

"I don't..."

"I know it wasn't the ultimatum that made you to leave. It helped pushed you in that direction, maybe, but you would have gone regardless. And not because staying in Konoha would affect your eligibility for any future assignments."

Sasuke stilled.

"Oh, you're not that hard to figure out," Tsunade said. "Even now, I can imagine the kinds of questions I know won't ask. Just as well, though, since it makes the situation more bearable for you. Pride and ambition, don't let them be your downfall again. You will think about Naruto this time around, won't you?"

Gritting his teeth, Sasuke fought to keep his composure. Both a warning and a reprimand, the reminder of his past was a hard truth Sasuke still had yet to swallow, but he wouldn't give Tsunade the satisfaction of seeing the impact of her words.

"The lengths that boy will go for you..."

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke closed his eyes and relaxed his jaw.

"Never mind that, though," Tsunade said. "This may be a little presumptuous of me, but I'll go ahead and say it anyway." Her voice grew softer, tinged with something that sounded precariously close to sympathy. "You did well, Uchiha. Better than most would expect of you, especially after such a long time."

Being prey to ignominy and constant scrutiny made the five years following his return seem even longer, but finally receiving acknowledgement from Tsunade was something of a hollow achievement. It wasn't half as fulfilling as Sasuke wanted it to be.

"I'd hoped this way..." Tsunade sighed. "I don't doubt you abilities or your willingness to prove yourself, but if you do gain anything from this experience, know that you did well. For your own sake, allow yourself to accept at least that much.

"So, whatever this may mean to you..." There was a rustle of paper, another page of Tsunade's book being turned. "...welcome back."

Sasuke opened his eyes, trained them on the window in the hallway. Hues of yellow and red bled across the horizon. They seeped into the sky, creating a bright shadow that began to stretch over the buildings down below.

"Remember," Tsunade said, "I want that report no later than Sunday."

Terse, Sasuke nodded his head and announced his departure, not waiting to be formally excused. One foot in front of the other bridged the transition out Tsunade's office into the prevailing need to escape Hokage Tower.

Soon he was walking through waking streets still hushed without the sun, past the main gate guarded by eyes he couldn't see, nearing the outskirts of Konoha not so far away, but it wasn't until the village was a considerable distance behind him did Sasuke begin to slow down halfway along the path that would bring him home.

Tiny rocks crunched beneath his sandals, gravel littered through browning grass and buried within a thin layer of dried soil. It wasn't a path per se. Rather, it was the quickest route Sasuke and Naruto took from Konoha to the house, as opposed to a predominantly visible trail.

Hotaru had compared it to following footprints. That Tuesday they'd gone shopping, Hotaru had followed Sasuke and Naruto to Konoha, but his eager steps had preceded Sasuke and Naruto's on the way back home. It shouldn't have been too surprising, considering Hotaru had managed to find a house revealed only to a handful of people, but Naruto had asked Hotaru about it anyway.

"Hotaru, you—you remember how to get home all by yourself?"

"Un. I follow the footprints, Naruto," Hotaru had said. He'd given a firm nod at Naruto's awe, but had sounded tentative in his response. "Like a map."

"Hmm..." Naruto had paused and pretended to think. "Like a map, you said?"

"Naruto thinks that's good?"

"Good enough to wish I'd thought of that," Naruto had said, grinning at Hotaru. "But whose footprints do you follow, though?"

Sasuke had been walking behind them, interest peaked at the question, but Hotaru had simply given Naruto a small smile. He'd turned around to walk alongside Sasuke, reaching into one of the bags Sasuke was holding, and had taken out the stuffed turtle Naruto had bought for him. Carrying the turtle under one arm, he'd run back to Naruto.

It'd looked as if Naruto wanted to ask Hotaru about the footprints again, but Hotaru had tugged on his pants, urging Naruto forward, and began to talk about the things he'd seen in Konoha. He'd diverted the question by describing how much he liked yakitori, slowly explaining why Naruto shouldn't be friends with someone who thought Hotaru's name was only for girls, listing objects that were red and orange because those were his favourite colours, asking Naruto if he should name his turtle Kame—it was enough that had Naruto had eventually let the matter drop, fully absorbed in the conversation and bouncing off an enthusiasm from Hotaru that rivalled his own.

Sasuke hadn't put too much thought into the correlation between the footprints and how Hotaru had known the way to the house. He couldn't when Hotaru wouldn't readily discuss anything pertaining to his age, his name, or where he'd come from. No amount of encouragement, from either Sasuke or Naruto, would persuade Hotaru, which was partially due to the fickle attention span that was to be expected from kids. However, that particular instance of avoidance, Hotaru refusing to say whose footprints he'd followed, had been intentional, Sasuke was sure.

As precocious as Hotaru had been, maybe even more than he and Naruto had initially given him credit for, Sasuke had to wonder the extent of Hotaru's self-awareness. On the surface, Hotaru was a near perfect amalgamation of them. It exceeded mere physical likeness and Hotaru's ability to latch onto Sasuke and Naruto's individual personalities. There'd been a surreal quality to Hotaru, yet something almost serene about his uncanny acuity, in his inherent dependence, in those receptive touches and subtle glances.

Yet it hadn't been real.

Hotaru's existence coinciding with Sasuke's possession of the scroll wasn't incidental, so it wasn't at all farfetched to assume Hotaru couldn't exist outside of a realm created around that condition. It was the only sensible conclusion. No longer having the scroll meant Hotaru no longer existed. Therefore, Sasuke could rationalise that Hotaru had never been real to begin with.

Like he'd told Naruto, none of it should have happened. How and why Hotaru came to be was arbitrary at this point. In that respect, Hotaru was as real as he and Naruto made him to be, but their relationship with Hotaru was based upon a farce narrowly held in place by an almost impulsive desire to see him as someone who could become part of their lives.

The moment he'd rang the doorbell, Hotaru had defied Sasuke's perception of reality, twisting the impossible into something substantial, and luring Sasuke into an amenable daze simply because he couldn't dispute it. Except Hotaru wasn't here anymore, and Sasuke couldn't hide behind the emotional upheaval Hotaru had caused.

He'd tried to be detached. If Sasuke could convince Naruto of how much Hotaru hadn't affected him, maybe he could himself, too. Naruto just hadn't left it alone. Although Sasuke hadn't really expected anything else, Naruto had been disagreeable at every turn, making it that much more difficult because he wouldn't give Sasuke the chance to forget Hotaru. But even if he wanted to, Sasuke wouldn't be able to forget.

It was Naruto he'd see every time he'd look at Hotaru. To let go of Hotaru was to let go of Naruto, and Sasuke would sooner welcome his unhealthy reliance on Naruto rather than sever that relationship. Yet Naruto would be a constant reminder. However unintentional, he'd given credence to an ideal of something that could never last. Simply because Naruto was there, because of the role he played in Sasuke's life, Sasuke had readily accepted Hotaru, but it shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have allowed himself to become so heavily involved, to be deluded by someone who couldn't truly exist, and Hotaru wasn't supposed to leave Sasuke with a regret that felt all too real.

It was a regret that tinged the anger Sasuke couldn't sustain. He berated himself for assuming he'd be able to break away from his past without consequence, for knowingly conceding to a clause that could and did put him in this kind of position. Sasuke hadn't been able to hold onto his anger for Tsunade, though, not when she'd given him an opportunity he wouldn't refuse. He didn't know why she'd assigned him the mission or if delivering the scroll actually had anything to do Konoha renewing its ties with Kusagakure.

Albeit it wasn't directly, she'd reinforced Naruto's earlier accusations. Naruto's then hasty claims of Tsunade orchestrating some maniacal scheme weren't misplaced and evidently held some kind of truth. It'd been enough truth to pique Naruto's curiosity, becoming a well-founded suspicion that provoked his attempt to read the scroll when Hotaru had disappeared. But if he'd approached Tsunade while Sasuke had been away...

Sasuke sighed as his feet continued to trudge along the seemingly indiscriminate path of dirt and grass. Whatever the connection between Hotaru and the scroll, he could do without knowing the motivation behind it. There was a part of him that didn't want to know, maybe even resigned to Hotaru's significance being something he was helpless to change. He'd already spent too much time thinking lately, but listening to the bottom of his sandals scrape over the ground could only deflect his thoughts for so long. The attempt at distraction was tenuous at best, fruitless when Sasuke stopped in front of the house.

Restive, he pulled his bag against his back, unconsciously searching for the slight weight of the book Tsunade hadn't taken away. He looked down, eyes fixed on the porch. It was here he'd first met Hotaru, this place where Hotaru had stood, hiding his hands behind his back and scraping the heel of his sandal against the porch, peering at Sasuke with eyes in a shade of blue too dark to ever belong to Naruto.

Tomorrow would mark two weeks since that day, when Hotaru had launched himself at Sasuke. He'd worn that indulgent smile, placed small arms around Sasuke's neck, said those three words that'd sent Sasuke reeling.

I'm home, Sasuke

Slowly, Sasuke reached for the door. He licked his lips, arm suspended in midair, hand lingering over the knob. His fingers balled into a fist, not quite touching the brass, straying away—like he'd been burned, Sasuke pulled his hand away.

He couldn't place his reluctance to open the door. The hesitation didn't make sense. There wasn't any reason for it. Hotaru wasn't going to be on the other side. Keeping himself here wouldn't make a difference. However, Sasuke couldn't bring himself to move forward, either.

Come on, Sasuke.

Hotaru had disappeared a week ago, on a morning like this, just before dawn according to Naruto. Reasonably, he wanted to think, seven days was ample time to adjust to life without Hotaru. Yet Sasuke couldn't shatter what was left of that inane desire to cling to the belief that Naruto had somehow fixed what he'd promised, that he found Hotaru and had accomplished what Sasuke instinctively knew neither one of them could.

He still didn't understand how he'd known Hotaru wasn't coming back. He'd had done his best to fill the gaping holes in his memory, supplement only by Naruto's retelling of events.

I want to show Sasuke something.

Sasuke pressed the bottom of his palm against his forehead, closing his eyes at the pressure building between them. It was a dull throbbing, consistent with hindering every attempt to remember what'd happened that morning.

Does Sasuke want to know, too?

A chill ran through his body, an abject feeling of cold vanishing as quickly as it had come. Sasuke kept his eyes shut, trying to pick apart the frays of stolen memories, glimmers of light surrounding clipped images that had been ripped away.

I'm scared, Sasuke.

Sasuke hissed, nearly choking on a sharp intake of breath. He moved his hand over his temple, bearing down hard at the pounding in his skull. It resonated with the murmur of Hotaru's voice, becoming louder and louder, merging with something deeper, something fami—

I'm home—

"Sasuke."

The sound of his name cut through the pulsation in his head, quieted the mantra in his mind, and Sasuke tensed. He hadn't heard the door open. He hadn't noticed how close Naruto was. To be that ignorant of his surroundings, to be caught so unawares, Sasuke hated that Naruto had seen him like this. He didn't even want to think about how long Naruto had been watching him, waiting for Sasuke to notice he wasn't alone.

"I was kind of hoping you'd open the door on your own," Naruto said, voice low and scratchy from sleep. "But you were taking too long, so of course that meant I'd have to come out and drag you inside myself."

Sasuke forced himself to look up. Mouth dry, he raised his head, not meeting Naruto's eyes yet unable to turn away from the hazy impression of that tired smile so reminiscent of Hotaru.

Naruto stood barefoot in front of the door, dishevelled, seemingly taking up the width of the threshold with his body. He fiddled with the material of his white shirt, half of it carelessly stuffed into light blue boxers covered with pink hearts. He untucked the rest of the shirt and pulled up his boxers when they began to fall off his hips.

Languid, Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets.

"We do have a doorbell, you know," Naruto said, tilting his head to the side. He raised a hand to ruffle his already matted hair, pushing aside the strands falling over his face. The light from the sun exaggerated the shadows beneath his eyes. They were puffy, more pinkish than white, and accentuated by pillow creases running alongside his right cheek.

Naruto's arm went limp, and his hand slapped against his thigh.

Sasuke took a step back.

"There's the door, too," Naruto said," in case you forgot." He took a step forward. "But if you didn't want to knock, it's not like you don't have a key."

"Naruto..."

Two more steps and Naruto was there. Before Sasuke had the chance to say no, Naruto was there. He was everywhere, encompassing everything around Sasuke, compelling him to stay with an almost desperate hold meant to constrict, but this wasn't Naruto initiating a hug. It was Naruto devouring him.

Sasuke staggered. His legs threatened to buckle beneath the weight of Naruto pressing into his chest. Naruto was crushing him, keeping his arms at his side and trying to mould himself into Sasuke. His face was brushing against Sasuke's cheek. His hands were creeping beneath his bag. They slipped inside Sasuke's vest, rubbing circles into his back and going up and down his spine.

It itched where Naruto touched him. It clutched at his chest, a prickle that shot down his arms, swept through his stomach, and made the hair on his body stand on end. The contact tore at Sasuke's clothes. Demanding fingers, firm and lithe, pierced though his shirt, seeped into Sasuke's skin.

What Naruto was doing was purposely incisive. He knew Sasuke didn't like it. He knew how much Sasuke couldn't stand Naruto's disregard for the concept of personal space when Sasuke was filthy like this, yet Naruto was unyielding. Each attempt to break the embrace only drew Sasuke closer. Each push was offset by a pull. Forcing this kind of proximity on him, Naruto was overwhelmingly intrusive, suffocating him, and he wouldn't stop.

For reasons Sasuke didn't want to fathom, Naruto wouldn't let him go.

Warm air hit Sasuke's neck, a draught of soft words that made him shiver, and Sasuke went rigid.

"Don't forget about me because the better looking one is gone, all right," Naruto whispered.

The arms around him squeezed, and Sasuke rested his head on Naruto's shoulder. Slowly, he felt the tension leave his body.

"We might not have Hotaru anymore," Naruto said, "but there's still us."

Closing his eyes, Sasuke made a tentative reach to place his arms around Naruto's waist. It was just Naruto. This was Naruto. This was...real, but if Sasuke was holding Naruto a little more tightly than he normally would, he was glad Naruto didn't say anything.

"Don't forget that, Sasuke."

Sasuke released a shuddering breath, as shaky as the fingers curling around Naruto's shirt. "...I know."

"There's always us."

...

Following Sasuke inside the house, Naruto closed the door behind him and locked it. He chewed on his bottom lip, studying Sasuke's profile for any telling reaction. When Sasuke stopped at the end of the entryway, Naruto paused, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

The house probably would have passed Sasuke's scrutiny even without Naruto's last ditch effort to make it look presentable. In all honesty, there hadn't been much to clean considering he hadn't spent a lot of time at home since Sasuke had been gone, but he'd gotten rid of what little mess he'd made anyway, if only to keep from hearing Sasuke's mouth about Naruto not being able to pick up after himself.

Everything looked spotless. To a degree, it even felt vacant, just like it had last night. It'd been useless trying to sleep with a feeling like that. Too anxious about Sasuke coming back and surrounded by the kind of emptiness made that much more oppressive with the lights Naruto couldn't bring himself to turn off, he'd been stuck with an almost tangible sense of dread that had only begun to fade when Sasuke was inside the house.

Sasuke bent down to take off his shoes, looking away from the smaller ones placed next to Naruto's. He removed the sandals slowly, careful not to shake any more of the dirt that he'd already brought in while he adjusted the bandages beginning to loosen from around his ankle. As Sasuke stood, Naruto noted the shift in his stance and the flicker of emotion that registered on Sasuke's features, almost too fast for Naruto to catch.

Their house was small enough that most of it could be seen before even going into the living room. If Sasuke was surprised that Naruto had actually cleaned it without being told to, the only acknowledgement Sasuke made was to look at Naruto.

Those eyes he'd been waiting to see, that one part of Sasuke he'd needed to see. Catching Sasuke like this meant being able to read him without having to sort through everything else on the surface for whatever Sasuke didn't want to show. But there was something in Sasuke's eyes that made Naruto's chest feel heavy, almost foreboding.

Uncrossing his arms, Naruto pushed himself from the wall. He came to a standstill when Sasuke turned away, but the sudden loss of eye contact had already sent the heavy feeling plummeting to Naruto's stomach.

Hesitating, Sasuke let the straps of his bag slide down his arms and dropped the bag to the floor. The forehead protector came next, thrown on top of the bag as Sasuke began to take off his vest. Not bothering to fully unzip it, he pulled the vest over his head and used his free hand to try to flatten the hair he'd messed up.

"Hey..." Taking a step forward, Naruto reached for the strands covering Sasuke's eyes and flinched when Sasuke pulled away, letting his arm fall back to the side.

Sasuke pushed the hair from his face. "I'm—I need to take a shower."

"Oh."

Since he came back to Konoha, Sasuke had this thing about not being close to anyone when he was dirty. Except for the times Naruto could count on his hand, Sasuke wouldn't let Naruto touch him. It was trying at first, figuring out to handle Sasuke being even more standoffish than when he left. And after the full-blown arguments that'd developed from Naruto's initial teasing, childish names that came too easily or light touches here and there on a sweaty Sasuke following training or sparring, Naruto learned it wasn't worth the energy to fight Sasuke about something that didn't matter most of the time.

Yet Naruto had been determined to make this morning another one of those rare exceptions, whether Sasuke agreed to it or not, and pulled Sasuke into a hug before Sasuke had the chance to get away. Like he'd expected, Sasuke was stiff at first, and Naruto had made up his mind to ignore how self-conscious he'd felt. With Sasuke just standing there, it was like they were back in that newly discovered stage of their relationship, when they were stumbling into the different ways of being close to each other that had nothing to do with physical fights or sex.

When Sasuke had started to squirm, Naruto only held him a little tighter. Not enough that Sasuke couldn't have gotten out of it if he really wanted to, but it wasn't until Naruto made it clear he wasn't going to budge that Sasuke allowed himself to relax and eventually return the hug.

Regardless of whatever hang-ups Sasuke had about being touched like that, it wasn't for Naruto's sake. Sasuke could have been covered in mud for all Naruto cared. It wouldn't have stopped him from ramming his way past that particular defence of Sasuke's.

If Hotaru's appearance had made Naruto's insecurities about his relationship with Sasuke resurface, Hotaru's disappearance had exposed the underlying rift between them that Naruto had ultimately been trying to bridge since he'd known Sasuke. By not giving Sasuke any leeway, crossing Sasuke's established boundaries he'd come to memorise, of course he'd been running the risk of Sasuke using just as much energy to pull away. Naruto was always aware of the possibility that his actions, despite his intentions, could work to undermine what he and Sasuke had built of their relationship up to an existing point. Sometimes the distinction between getting Sasuke to open up and yanking Sasuke out his comfort zone wasn't an easy one for Naruto to make. This time, however, he had wilfully ignored that line.

There was something overwhelming about the kind of comfort that came from seeing Sasuke. Just holding Sasuke was enough to spur a relief that nearly overshadowed everything from the past two weeks, but the simple act of being held by Sasuke conveyed all the little things Naruto couldn't always expect from Sasuke with words. So after a week of anticipation, as he'd gone to meet Sasuke on the other side of the door, of course he'd been anxious when Sasuke hadn't made the move to go beyond it.

Impulse made Naruto want to confront Sasuke on his own terms, demand Sasuke to explain how complicated opening a door could be, but he'd forced himself to wait. He'd placated himself with the fact that Sasuke had seemingly made it back in one piece, and if Sasuke needed a little more time, Naruto could give him that.

He hadn't been able to hold out for long, though. Not with Sasuke being so close and a door being the only thing separating them. Maybe the extra seconds hadn't added to the few minutes that felt more like hours, like days if he held his breath for a moment or two, but Naruto hadn't put too much thought into the concept of time. Instead, he'd taken the initiative to meet Sasuke halfway.

Vest bunched under his arm, Sasuke took a step back. "I'm not clean."

"Yeah, I know. I'll just..."

Sasuke didn't wait for Naruto to finish. He headed toward the bedroom, taking long strides that wavered, became short, and Naruto felt his throat tighten when Sasuke froze in the middle of the hall.

Being this openly indecisive was uncharacteristic of Sasuke, and Naruto stared, fidgeting with a growing unease that kept him rooted in place. He wondered if Sasuke was going to turn around, but the awkward stretch of simply waiting for something to happen was fleeting.

Arm slack, Sasuke dropped his vest to the side. It dangled from his hand, teetered on two fingers, following Sasuke into the bedroom and out of Naruto's sight.

Naruto debated going after Sasuke. His decision alternated with the patter of his feet against the floor and led him toward the couch. With a grunt, he sat down. It was better to stay, at least until Sasuke was finished. He figured any attempts at confrontation would be easier when Sasuke couldn't use not being clean as an excuse. However that turned out, though...

Suddenly listless, Naruto slumped into the cushion. He closed his eyes and let his head hang over the back of the couch. He knew the position wasn't doing any favours for his posture, but in this instance it was just easier not to care.

For all the good it did planning the different scenarios today, Naruto's mind had gone blank when he'd actually seen Sasuke.

He supposed he'd put too much thought into it, trying to decide what he'd say when he saw Sasuke again. It wasn't that he hadn't been able to function during Sasuke's absence. They'd been apart before. A week couldn't even begin to compare to the time they'd never get back, but it'd been a while since he'd waited for Sasuke like this.

After five years of getting used to Sasuke staying in Konoha, still there whenever Naruto turned around to make sure, the difficulty Naruto was having adjusting to the idea of Sasuke leaving surprised him. He could blame it on his relationship with Sasuke. Not that the dynamic between them had changed so drastically, but there were other aspects adding a new depth to the urgency that came with the kind of lives they led. It was an issue Naruto didn't know how to deal with. Or, if he wanted to be honest with himself, it was an issue he wasn't ready to.

He'd known Sasuke's position at the Academy was temporary. Sasuke's unexpected soft spot for kids aside, Naruto couldn't imagine Sasuke satisfied with being Iruka's assistant indefinitely and would have been upset if that had been the case.

Sasuke wasn't someone to accept his own limitations, whether they were forced on him or not. The seal restricting most of his chakra wasn't meant to be permanent. And although it was only recently that Sasuke had been reinstated as a ninja, his circumstances had given him a flexible margin when it came to rank. Following the mission in Kusagakure, it was inevitable that Sasuke would begin to take on more responsibilities, and he'd be promoted to chuunin. Then Tsunade would appoint him to jounin, maybe more. Naruto wasn't sure how long it'd take, but despite his almost reluctance at the events being set in motion, it did make him happy to think he'd eventually walk alongside Sasuke like that again.

However, if knowing Hotaru was part of that path, if Hotaru's existence was a test to measure the extent of Sasuke's devotion to Konoha, Naruto couldn't understand how the price of losing Hotaru was on the same scale as Sasuke regaining the life he'd left behind.

They were two completely different things. Hotaru coming from that scroll or not, he was real in the only place it mattered, more than enough to have a very real effect on both Naruto and Sasuke. And to compare their relationship with Hotaru to Sasuke's future standing in the village...

As much as Naruto didn't want to admit it, his conversation with Tsunade yesterday and the implications behind what she hadn't said about Hotaru scared him. But while Tsunade hadn't denied knowing about Hotaru beforehand, the circumstances seemed to be out of even her reach. Whatever the tension between Sasuke and Tsunade, it didn't amount to Tsunade using a kid to take advantage of Sasuke's emotional state and knowingly letting Naruto get caught up in between that. There had to be something else going on, pieces to a bigger picture he couldn't see.

Tsunade may have been involved with Hotaru's existence, but she'd revealed just enough for Naruto to fill in the blanks that she hadn't acted alone. Naruto didn't doubt that for a second. Even if he did, Tsunade's poor attempts to put him off the subject of Hotaru made the things she couldn't say obvious. All the same, as skewed as entire the situation was, what Naruto found more disturbing was the fact that Tsunade had been convinced to go along with it in the first place.

Considering Sasuke's track record with the Council, it wouldn't be too unreasonable to suspect them of having something to do with Hotaru, too. But Naruto didn't believe Sasuke's past was so unforgivable that the Council would resort to such a method just to assert their authority. Not after so long. Sentencing Sasuke to a three-year house arrest instead of death, allowing him to work at the Academy, and then waiting two years, right before Sasuke's mission, just to remind Sasuke how short their leash on him was? The timing was as convenient as Hotaru disappearing the day before Sasuke had to leave for Kusagakure.

Maybe he was giving them too much credit. Since Naruto could remember, like most of the rest of Konoha, not much had changed of the Council's opinion of him. They were still wary of the power sealed within him and his ability to control that power, although Naruto would say the Council held a little less disapproval toward him than they did Sasuke.

Even if it was just speculation at this point, he still couldn't believe the Council would put that much effort into something like this.

And if the Council wasn't behind it, or at least if they weren't the only party pulling strings, it threw Naruto right back at square one.

But, like Tsunade had said, did it really matter in the end?

It wasn't like Naruto could go around pointing fingers at random and expect someone to suddenly come forward. People weren't going to get their hands dirty when they didn't want to take the blame, and serious accusations like that, he definitely wasn't in a position to make them, much less for something he didn't have any proof for. Hotaru was gone. According to everyone who couldn't even recognise Hotaru in a photo, Hotaru had never existed outside the realm of Naruto's imagination. The scroll was gone, too. There were still Sasuke's notes, but by Sasuke's own account, the scroll was just a fairy tale anyway.

All the secrecy and coincidences leading toward a particular outcome, everything riding on Sasuke's reaction based on something that apparently never happened, and now it fell to Naruto to make the final move.

Tsunade had summed it up a little too neatly when she'd asked if Naruto was going to tell Sasuke about their conversation. The question had hit him hard. Of course he couldn't come up with an answer then. He'd had none, still didn't, and those words had marked the end of a discussion he wasn't going to continue.

But supposing he did tell Sasuke, how much of a difference would it actually make in the long run?

For the most part, Naruto thought Sasuke was predictable, sometimes enough that he could be manipulated under certain conditions when the right buttons were pushed. Naruto wouldn't be too quick to call it a weakness, at least not to Sasuke's face, but Sasuke wasn't exactly the best at adapting to change that challenged him emotionally, especially on a large scale. He went from one extreme to another, closing himself off or taking out his inability to cope on everyone around him, which made him more susceptible to outside influences if he wasn't careful. Although given the current situation, if Hotaru was simply a means in order to drive Sasuke to that state of mind, the possibility of Sasuke defecting from Konoha again was the least of Naruto's worries.

Frankly, there was nowhere else for Sasuke to go. He was a different person now. Although his need for revenge had nearly consumed him, when he did achieve that goal, Sasuke mostly just...wandered. Physically, mentally—it was sheer luck Naruto had stumbled across Sasuke that day at all, but of course Sasuke hadn't returned to Konoha by choice. Learning from a history of failed communication, Naruto hadn't had the patience to talk. They'd picked up where they'd always left off, continuing a long-standing argument that could only be settled with fists, and it was Kakashi, after finding them lying unconscious next to each other, who'd finally brought Sasuke back to Konoha.

But it was Naruto, struggling to salvage that shell of a person still managing to defy him every step of the way, who'd provided the kind of permanence that made Konoha a home for Sasuke again.

Funny enough, despite Sasuke's treatment since he'd been back, Konoha had become a source of stability for him. It was familiar, and Sasuke had grown to appreciate familiar things. He craved them. The few things he held onto, like his bond with Naruto, Sasuke took them in almost any capacity. And since Naruto was a constant, Sasuke's dependence on him even having a significant part in the development of their relationship, he knew Sasuke wouldn't abandon Konoha again because Naruto was still tied to Konoha.

It was a bold statement to make, although when it came down to it, Naruto didn't think he was overestimating his importance to Sasuke. Even so, that didn't mean Sasuke couldn't stay in Konoha without staying with Naruto. And cornered with that possibility, a fear preying on him since he'd taken that step with Sasuke, as selfish as it was, Naruto couldn't decide if telling Sasuke what Tsunade hadn't directly confirmed about Hotaru was worth the risk of Sasuke leaving their relationship.

So now Naruto had to ask himself, would it matter if Sasuke didn't know?

Assuming Sasuke hadn't already come to the same conclusions about Hotaru's origins, he'd been convinced Hotaru wasn't coming back from the start, despite Naruto's attempts to persuade him otherwise, and hadn't said anything when Naruto acknowledged Hotaru was gone for good. There was the stipulation that came with the scroll, too. It held true after Sasuke completed the mission and was probably why Tsunade had seemed confident that Sasuke wouldn't approach her about it. Since Hotaru's origins and the scroll went hand in hand, if Sasuke was even suspected of having discussed the scroll, the Council wouldn't think twice. They'd strip Sasuke of his rank, and all that progress he'd made, it wouldn't mean a thing.

Although if Sasuke came to Naruto...

The shrewd level of manipulation, how nicely the situation resolved itself, when everything was said and done, did Sasuke deserve to know?

Yes.

It was only right Sasuke should know. Being in the centre of it all was reason enough to give Sasuke some kind of affirmation so he wouldn't have to sort through whatever misgivings he did have on his own. That Naruto couldn't ignore, but it wasn't the decision he was pitting himself against.

The real question was, if telling him wasn't going to change anything in the end, did Sasuke really need to know?

At the creak of a door opening, Naruto shot up. He placed his arm on the back of the couch, turning around in time to see Sasuke coming out of the bathroom. His eyes followed the steam trailing Sasuke, moving up from the hems of the long pants dragging on the floor, straying past the towel in Sasuke's hand, and settling on the oversized shirt Sasuke was wearing. Sasuke draped the towel over his neck. He grabbed one end, using it to dry the back of his hair as he disappeared into the bedroom.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto settled back on the couch and wiped his palm on the side of his leg. He sat forward, elbows resting on his knees and fingers interlaced in front of him. His leg began to bounce. The heel of his foot was tapping on the floor. Two taps for each second, 118 taps for 59 seconds. Two more taps for another second. One minute became two minutes, then three minutes, four minutes—heaving himself from the couch, Naruto rushed into the hallway.

He retraced Sasuke's steps, stopping outside of the bedroom. The door was wide open, so far back it was almost touching the wall. Subconsciously, Naruto reached to push on a surface that wasn't there, but his eyes went straight to Sasuke. Across from the window, Sasuke was sitting against the bed. He was facing away from Naruto, hunched over something in his lap Naruto couldn't see. Brows furrowed, Naruto moved to go inside the room but took a step back and raised a fist to knock on the doorframe.

Keeping his head down, Sasuke said, "Since when do you need to knock?"

"I don't?" Naruto said, taking Sasuke's words as an invitation to come in. It seemed silly to wait for permission when he and Sasuke shared the room. But subtle things like this, Naruto discovered, were one of the more reliable ways of gauging Sasuke's mood.

Sasuke snorted. "Idiot."

"Yeah, well..." Squinting, Naruto placed a hand over his eyes, shielding his face from the light coming through the window. He walked around the bed, overlooking the stuffed turtle propped up by the pillows, and sat down next to Sasuke.

"You found them," Naruto said, crossing his legs and gesturing with his head toward the photos in Sasuke's lap. "So that's what you were looking at."

"Mm-hm."

"I got the film developed the day you left. I thought—I thought it'd be nice to have them by the time you got back."

"What happened to this one?" Sasuke held out the photo of Hotaru and Sasuke that Naruto had carried with him since Sasuke had been away. Eyes narrowed, Sasuke tried to smooth out the wrinkles that wouldn't stay down.

"I, um, when I was out there looking for...Hotaru, that's the one I kept with me."

Sasuke raised his head to look at Naruto. His hair was damp, and his skin was still blotchy from taking a shower. "Are these the only ones we took from that night?"

"It seems like we took more, I know, but those—yeah, those are the only ones."

Not including the duplicates Naruto had made to pass out, there were a little more than twenty photos in all. Sasuke continued to shuffle through them. It was the second time since Naruto had sat down, but Naruto only swallowed as he looked over the photos with Sasuke.

The first one was of Naruto pulling a squealing Hotaru from beneath the bed and then one of Naruto making the V sign over Sasuke's head with Hotaru's blurred thumb covering up the space where the bed and the wall were. The next one showed an annoyed Sasuke, with his arm outstretched, hand taking up most of the photo because Naruto had tried to get a picture with the camera in front of Sasuke's face. Another photo was of Hotaru adjusting Sasuke's glasses that he'd put on Naruto after he'd decided he liked the glasses on Naruto better than Sasuke. Then there was the picture Naruto had taken of Hotaru jumping on the bed before Sasuke had picked him up and put him on the floor.

But no matter how hard Naruto stared at the photos, tried to make those static memories come alive, everything from that night still felt far away.

Pausing, Sasuke held up a photo featuring the three of them. In the middle, sitting on the bed, was a laughing Sasuke, leaning forward due to the weight of a Hotaru who had jumped on him from behind. Hotaru and Naruto wore matching smiles, with Naruto wrapping an arm around both Hotaru and Sasuke. He'd barely made it into the frame after setting the five second timer on the camera.

"Hotaru looks just like you in that one," Naruto said, pointing at the photo. "Especially with the way your faces are squished together."

"Don't say that."

"What? It's true."

"Don't, Naruto. Just...don't."

"Okay, so maybe Hotaru had his moments, but once you got past the hair and the cheeks—I bet I could have proved it, too, if you'd let me dye Hotaru's hair that day when we went shopp—"

"Naruto," Sasuke said. He placed his hand on Naruto's face, guiding Naruto forward until their lips were almost touching.

"...yeah?"

Sasuke let his hand wander. His fingers traced the edges of Naruto's sideburns, light caresses Naruto leaned into when Sasuke's hand took a gentle hold of Naruto's ear. But then Sasuke glared. And his fingers pulled. "Stop talking."

With a loud cry, Naruto smacked Sasuke's hand away and nursed his sore ear. "I can't believe you—that actually hurt."

"It was supposed to."

"Oh yeah? Then that means you have to let me do this."

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You're clean now. Let me hug you."

"Just because I'm clean doesn't mean you can hug me."

"What if I say please?"

"Naruto, don't—"

Throwing aside the towel around Sasuke's shoulders, Naruto cradled the back of Sasuke's head and pounced. The photos flew out of Sasuke's lap as Naruto pushed Sasuke down. He and Sasuke hit the floor with a soft thud, and the photos scattered beside them, fanning out to disappear beneath the bed.

Sasuke sent Naruto a less than agreeable look that Naruto returned with a sheepish one of his own. "Oops?"

"I'm not picking those up."

"I'm not expecting you to." Kneading his fingers through the hair curled at the nape of Sasuke's neck, slowly, Naruto withdrew his hand.

Covering his mouth with the back of his hand, Sasuke yawned. "You shouldn't."

"Like I said, I'm not. You don't have to pick them up. I'll do it."

"You're still sitting on me."

"I meant later. I'll pick them up later."

Turning away, Sasuke closed his eyes and placed an arm over his forehead.

"I'm serious, Sasuke," Naruto said, laying his head on Sasuke's chest. "I will, just—can it be all right if we stay here a little longer?"

"Naruto..."

"This isn't so bad, is it?"

"...no."

"Being here like this. The two of us. Nothing's wrong with that, right?"

"No, this is..."

Fighting back the burn behind his eyes, Naruto clenched his teeth. He concentrated on Sasuke's breathing, monitoring the steady pattern of inhales and exhales, and content to just listen as his head rose and fell with Sasuke's chest. Tempted to give in to the slow but constant beating, he sank into the feel of Sasuke solid beneath him, swayed by the gentle motions that promised to lull him into sleep. But as nice as it was, receiving this kind of compliance from Sasuke, Naruto couldn't stand it.

He could get Sasuke being tired. That was to be expected. Not like this, though. Naruto would have preferred Sasuke's anger to this, Sasuke pushing him away, Sasuke lashing out at him—anything over this defeated kind of acceptance that made Naruto afraid to move. It reminded him too much of that shell Sasuke used to be. Because Sasuke was quiet, even for someone as reserved as him, and Naruto was lost trying to breach the distance Hotaru had left between them.

He was still on the fence about telling Sasuke about the conversation with Tsunade. He'd argue there were things Sasuke would keep from him, willingly or not, and rationalise not telling Sasuke in that regard. However, neither of them could avoid the fact that Hotaru wasn't here.

They didn't have to talk about it today, but it'd be there tomorrow, the day after, the week after, however long they'd be able to hold on. And while Naruto wasn't eager to be the one to bring it up, he didn't want to forget, either. He didn't want to end up like the villagers he'd spoken to, like Shikamaru and Ino. He wanted to be able to recognise Hotaru's face in a photo. He didn't want the day to come when Hotaru's hat became something too childish to keep and Hotaru's sandals became a pair of shoes too small to wear. The things he and Sasuke had done for someone who'd become so involved in their lives, Naruto didn't want to remember doing it for some kid. He wanted to remember doing it for Hotaru.

So maybe if he told Sasuke about the selective amnesia, about the real motivation behind Hotaru's existence and the hidden meanings behind Tsunade's words, then they could—

"You're thinking too hard," Sasuke said.

"Huh?"

"Whatever you're thinking about, I can practically hear you. If it's about Hotaru—"

"Sasuke, you—"

"It'll be okay."

"Okay?" Naruto lifted his head and frowned. "Why would—is that what you really think?"

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"I didn't ask if it mattered what you think. I asked if that's what you really think about—"

"It'll be okay, Naruto."

"How can—?"

"Because it has to be."

Pressing his lips together, Naruto bit back another protest. "...what about us then?"

Sasuke sighed.

Naruto stared at Sasuke. When Sasuke didn't open his eyes, Naruto grabbed the hand at Sasuke's side. He rubbed his thumb over Sasuke's knuckles. "Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"Will we be okay?"

Sasuke took his hand away from Naruto's grasp. Eyes still closed, he reached to bring Naruto back against his chest and placed a hand in Naruto's hair. "We're okay."

"As long as we're okay, that's—that's good." Naruto hummed at the fingers massaging his scalp. "That has to be okay, too."

"It is."

"Who were we to try and raise a kid anyway?" Naruto murmured into Sasuke's shirt. "Stupid, huh?"

"Maybe."

"It was really nice, though, even if it was only for a little while."

"But the time we did have with Hotaru," Sasuke said, "shouldn't that be enough?"

The fact that Sasuke felt the need to ask, not say, Naruto wasn't sure he was the one Sasuke wanted to convince. He opened his mouth, on the verge of disagreeing with the seemingly passive stance Sasuke was trying to take, but held back when he realised he didn't have an answer for Sasuke.

He wanted to think that maybe if he and Sasuke knew about Hotaru beforehand, there was a chance it would have made of a difference. Maybe it would have prevented Naruto from coming up with the idea of redecorating the guestroom. Then he wouldn't have been so excited about painting a mural of the sky at night, with the moon on the ceiling, above the bed, and as many stars as Hotaru felt like drawing on the walls. And maybe he and Sasuke wouldn't have had those conversations about choosing a family name for Hotaru. Then they would have known how redundant either decision would be, much like the adoptions papers hidden in the top drawer of Sasuke's desk.

But Naruto knew he'd only be kidding himself. He couldn't have predicted how emotionally invested they'd become in Hotaru, and he'd be a fool to believe it was ever possible to fit a childhood in that short period of time. In less than a week, he and Sasuke had been able to give Hotaru the kinds of experiences Naruto wished he'd had. Although it didn't make up for the fact that Hotaru was gone, Naruto couldn't bring himself to regret Hotaru coming into their lives.

Yet there was still so much they hadn't done. Watching Hotaru run around with kids his own age, letting him pick out clothes to wear to festivals, teaching him how to fold the small clothes he'd stuffed in the dresser, taking him to the Academy on his first day—just experiencing Hotaru grow up—all the normal things Naruto had been looking forward to being a part of.

After having those opportunities snatched away, Naruto was powerless to get them back. He'd lumbered through the uncertainty that followed, trying to regain some semblance of normality in a world that hadn't existed before Hotaru. Whatever pieces remained of that life, in order to move on, maybe it should have been enough to at least have those. But being left with this loss, this empty feeling that simply hurt, what little time they did have with Hotaru would never be enough.

"Sasuke, I—"

There was a low rumble in the room, a gurgling noise that sounded louder than it had any right to be, bouncing off the walls well after it left Naruto's stomach.

Sasuke freezing in his ministrations to Naruto's scalp, Naruto tried to smother his laughter in Sasuke's shirt. "I guess that means I'm hungry."

"You think?" Groaning, Sasuke took his hand out of Naruto's hair and let his arm fall to the floor. "Go get something to eat."

"Not now." Naruto raised his head to look at Sasuke. "I really don't feel like making anything, but—hey, want to go out for ramen or something?"

"Ramen? This early?"

"Or something," Naruto said again, failing to hold back a half-smile ready to spill over to the rest of his face. "As long as I don't have to fix it myself. I'm more in the mood for ramen, though. Remember when we used to go to Ichiraku all the time after missions when we were younger? Me, you, and Sakura-chan, don't you miss that?"

"Not when you tricked me into paying for you."

"And I paid you back, didn't I?"

"Eventually," Sasuke said. "After I had to hunt you down and pry that damn frog wallet out of your hands."

"Mmm, those were good times, weren't they? But that's not the point." Naruto let his hand wander under Sasuke's shirt, absently running his fingers along Sasuke's side. "The point is we don't go to my favourite place that much anymore. Come to think of it, I haven't said hi to the old man and Ayame-chan in a while, either. They always like to feed me."

Sasuke scoffed, but Naruto wasn't discouraged by the not quite rejection. "Is that a yes or a no? Because if you have to think about it, that probably means—"

"No."

"So..." Naruto began, letting the word linger in his throat, "that's a yes?"

"No, it's a no." Planting one hand on the floor for leverage, Sasuke shifted beneath Naruto. He made a half-hearted attempt to get up, and Naruto countered with his weight to keep Sasuke down.

"Yes?"

Sasuke pinched a small area of skin on Naruto's forearm.

Hissing in pain, Naruto held his arm to his chest. "That's not going to work on me."

"Let me do it again."

In a flash, Naruto was looming over Sasuke. He seized Sasuke's wrists, pinning them above Sasuke's head before Sasuke could pinch him again. "Will you go if I tell you it was Sakura-chan's idea?"

"Was it?"

"Actually, it was."

"Then no."

"Oh come on, Sasuke. You were going to say no even if I said it was my idea."

Tilting his chin up, Sasuke blew away the bangs that had fallen over his face, consequently blowing air into Naruto's right eye. "And?"

Naruto blinked twice. Head drawn back, he blinked again and then glowered. "You did that on purpose."

"Be grateful that's all I did."

"You really are an unmitigated bastard, you know that?" Putting pressure on Sasuke's wrists, Naruto leaned down, his forehead hovering above Sasuke's. "Too bad I'm still not letting you go."

"You will when I make you get off me."

"Sure you will," Naruto said, ignoring the warning in Sasuke's voice. He sat up and released his fingers from around Sasuke's wrists. Smiling, he kept his legs on either side of Sasuke. "But we're still on to go to Ichiraku, right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"The real reason I asked, though," Naruto said, "was because Lee wants to see you."

"Lee's back? I thought he wasn't expected back until next week?"

"Yeah, he got back Wednesday night, which reminds me. We need to thank him for that postcard he sent us. I forgot when I ran into him yesterday because—well, I wasn't thinking about it then, but if we don't see him today, we can definitely thank him tomorrow."

"What's going on tomorrow?"

"Sakura-chan wants to throw Lee a welcome back party tomorrow. It's really short notice, I know, but that's why she wants us to meet her at Ichiraku today. She wants it to be a surprise, except Lee already knows. Because Kiba accidentally let it slip. I think Lee's just going to pretend he doesn't know for Sakura-chan's sake, though."

"That doesn't make any sense."

Naruto shrugged. "Lee's a nice enough guy that it doesn't have to. All that matters is Ino bullied Shikamaru into making another cake," he said, letting his mind drift to the thought of sinking his teeth into another one of Shikamaru's cakes. "Chocolate this time, I think."

Eyes travelling to the line of drool sliding down Naruto's chin, Sasuke made a face. "You're disgusting."

Quickly, Naruto wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. He narrowed his eyes at Sasuke, hoping to detract from the heat he felt rushing to his cheeks. "It's not my fault Shikamaru's cakes are that good."

"But it doesn't give you an excuse to drool like that."

"Shows what you know," Naruto said, drying his hand on his shirt and ignoring Sasuke's wary gaze following the movement. "You're the strange kind of person who turns down things like cake."

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Considering you like to eat said cake I turn down, I don't know see how you have any room to complain."

"I'm not complaining. Not my fault you can't handle you own shortcomings," Naruto muttered. "But since it's rare for Shikamaru to bake, that particular shortcoming works out pretty well for me." Grinning, he rubbed his hands together. "With you at Lee's party, I can get extra cake, and then Sakura-chan can't yell at me for being greedy when I take your share."

"Yeah, until she notices. We'll see how well that works for you then."

"Only if you tell her."

"Believe me," Sasuke said, voice muffled as he covered another yawn, "I won't have to. You'll give yourself away."

"…you really do know how to bring a guy down."

"Yes, because everything I do in life is to make sure you don't get away with eating my slice of cake."

"Bah. I don't even know why Sakura-chan still goes through the trouble when she knows you don't like that kind of stuff. It's not like you really eat it. Why do you let her do it anyway?"

"It doesn't bother me like it used to. That's Sakura's way of showing she cares." Sasuke looked at the ceiling. His eyes were distant, searching for something beyond Naruto's reach, but the pause was brief. No more than two or three seconds passed before Sasuke gave his attention back to Naruto. "It's not so different compared to how Sakura used to behave, but that's—I don't think that's a reason to reject it."

"I guess…"

"Then again, if I didn't accept it, she'd probably start treating me like you."

Naruto sucked his teeth. "Whatever, Sasuke. You and Sakura-chan just like to gang up on me, that's all."

A small smile played on Sasuke's lips, growing faint as Sasuke closed his eyes. "What time are we supposed meet Sakura at Ichiraku?"

"Four." Naruto looked at the clock. It read a quarter after seven. "We still have time until then, but because you just came back, Sakura-chan will understand if you're not up to it. I can fill you in when I get home."

Sasuke nodded and made a soft noise in agreement.

"Unless you—Sasuke? You're not falling asleep on me, are you?"

Sasuke arched an eyebrow, and Naruto snorted at the image that would have been less amusing if Sasuke actually had his eyes open.

Shaking his head, Naruto poked Sasuke in the ribs. "Get in the bed before you do that."

With a grunt, Sasuke shoved Naruto off his stomach. He kicked at Naruto and rolled on his side, resting his head on his arm. "I'm fine."

"What the—?" Naruto grimaced when his backside hit the floor. Unprepared for the ungainly landing and the subsequent kick to his side, he scowled at Sasuke. "You couldn't have just told me to move?"

Sasuke made no sign that he'd heard Naruto, and Naruto made a face at the lack of response.

"Sasuke, you—I know you're not sleeping." Naruto nudged Sasuke on the shoulder. He did it again and then a third time with enough force to jolt Sasuke from pretending to be asleep. "There's no way you went to sleep that fast."

Not in the least swayed by Naruto's far from gentle prodding, Sasuke didn't so much as twitch.

"Fine," Naruto huffed. "If you're going to be that way, you can stay there by yourself."

When Sasuke still didn't answer, Naruto felt his scowl fading and being replaced with a frown. Sasuke's breathing was even, his mouth slightly open. Maybe he really was asleep.

Blindly, Naruto reached from behind for a pillow on the bed, pushing Kame aside but careful not to make the turtle fall. He set the pillow on the floor, next to the space above Sasuke's head, and let his body follow. Since the floor wasn't meant to be slept on like this, a futon would have been nice. A blanket just to lie on would be good, too, but short of dragging Sasuke to the bed, Naruto wasn't going to get Sasuke to move anytime soon. Resigned, he got as comfortable as he could, repositioning himself on his side and facing Sasuke.

He scooted closer, putting his arm around Sasuke and resting his chin on top of Sasuke's head. It wasn't so cold that Naruto needed a blanket anyway, and whatever warmth he was lacking could be made up by stealing Sasuke's body heat. Despite being on the floor, Naruto didn't mind so much when he and Sasuke were like this. Experiencing the kind of closeness that consumed him, with their legs tangled together, the feel of Sasuke's hair brushing against his skin, suspended in a moment the reality around them couldn't penetrate, and it was hard not to fall into the mindset of wanting to stay like this forever.

There was no telling how much time he'd have with Sasuke, if it'd be cut short like the time they'd had with Hotaru. For now, all Naruto could do was enjoy it, but he was determined to do his best to make it last.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto whispered.

"...hmm?"

"And you called me an idiot." Naruto snorted and buried his face in Sasuke's hair. "I knew you weren't sleeping."

Sasuke rubbed his foot against Naruto's calf, and Naruto shivered at the touch. "Jeeze, why are your feet always so cold? The rest of you isn't like this."

"...my feet are not cold."

"You keep thinking that," Naruto mumbled. He inhaled, taking a second to breathe in the scent of Sasuke, mingled with the smell of the flower-shaped soap that Naruto liked more than he'd ever admit. Edging forward, he tried to bring Sasuke closer, tried to take up as much as he could of the little space still between them, and sighed when Sasuke didn't push him away.

"I wonder if Hotaru would have wanted to go to Ichiraku," Naruto said. "I mean, out of all the things we didn't get a chance to do with Hotaru, you'd think going out for ramen wouldn't have been one of them, you know. And it's just I—do you think Hotaru would have liked it?"

Met with silence, Naruto wondered if Sasuke had dozed off again. That or Sasuke was berating him for worrying about something that wouldn't have made a difference either way.

Sasuke gave a slow nod of his head. Almost too low for Naruto to hear, he said, "Because Hotaru was so much like you…"

"Like us?"

"Yeah, like…"

"Sasuke?"

"…probably."