A/N: I've wanted to write this for a while now, an experiment of sorts, so we'll see how it goes. Basically, I wanted to stray from the norm for a bit and write a story in which JD and Dr. Cox are the main characters, JD is gay, but JD is not crushing on Cox (or anybody, for that matter). It's a story in which JD is gay, but the dynamic between him and his mentor is still the father and son relationship. With those thoughts in mind, I hope you enjoy the read.

Disclaimer: I own a very large nothing.

My Coming Out Party

Perry tried to ignore both doctor and surgeon as they embraced one another by the nurse's station. He thought it'd be easy by now, what with those two being the way they were for as long as Dr. Cox could remember, but it was a bit harder to ignore when they stood only two feet away from him; faces pressed together as they went about whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears.

"Good luck in surgery, C-Bear. I know you'll knock 'em dead."

"Thanks, VB. I needed to hear that."

The older man rolled his eyes at not only the stupidity behind Newbie's so called encouragement, but the fact that neither of them had picked up on exactly how un-encouraging it really was.

When the two supposed professionals finally broke the hug, allowing Gandhi to walk off and kill whatever poor new guy was currently lying on his operating table, the older man couldn't help but comment on their latest display of girly affection. "You know, Newbie, it really is about time you and your black wife come out of the closet there. You might as well save Carla the devastating shock of walking into your apartment just to find you two idiots spooning oh-so-comfortably on the couch. Though I guess it wouldn't really shock her now, would it? What with her being haunted by dreams of you two running away together. Tell me something there, Trish: have you ever thought of moving to Aspen? Because according to her, you two love birds seemed to enjoy the atmosphere more than you enjoy your nauseating displays of public affection."

He had expected an appropriate Newbie-response, which honestly left for a number of possibilities. The kid could ignore his rant completely in order to convince himself that it never actually happened by asking him some random question that had absolutely nothing to do with what it was he just said. He could grow a pair and retaliate, of course, which seemed to always leave Dr. Cox shocked, pissed, and secretly impressed. Or he could do what he normally did, which was to widen those baby blues and stick out that bottom lip. Not that that method ever actually worked on him, but still…

However, the overly gelled doctor didn't do any of those things. Instead, he ran a hand through the back of his hair – (which Dr. Cox found himself silently impressed by, if he was honest with himself, since he knew how hard it must've been what with all of the products Newbie insisted on using) – and awkwardly cleared his throat. "Turk's as straight as a ruler, Dr. Cox. Just because we're a little dependent on each other doesn't make him gay."

The older man stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, as the brunet grabbed his chart and walked away. The response had left a bad taste in his mouth, and it wasn't because the kid had managed to sound oddly serious, no. It was the fact that he had stood up for Milk Dud's sexuality, but hadn't said a single thing about his own.

--

The Irishman tried not to let out a soft moan as his teeth took its first plunge into his burger. Sacred Heart's cafeteria was known for its disgusting array of food, but burger day was the one exception to that well known truth.

Of course, the fact that he was finding himself unable to enjoy this once a month occasion as much as he normally did was not helping his already foul mood. His mind would not get off of a particular sneaking suspicion that he hadn't thought about since the kid's second year. He'd let it go for a number of reasons, chalking it up to the idiot just being awkward and overly feminine. A guy being "metro sexual" wasn't particularly unusual these days, was it? Not to mention all of the women that seemed to have entered (and sometimes re-entered) JD's life over the past three years… Watching that parade of estrogen come and go through the kid's life had managed to convince him that his original gut feeling was – dare he think it – wrong. Because let's be honest – Newbie's girlfriends were always ra-ha-ha-heely hot. Hell, even Barbie was pretty attractive, despite her anal neurotic tendencies and her high pitched, ear grating voice. Not that he would ever in his life admit that to the half labordoodle, half doctor himself, but still.

As if on cue, his three favorite annoyances (accompanied by Carla) walked over to his table, all of them simultaneously placing their trays down on its surface with a clang.

"Hey, Dr. Cox!" JD greeted instantly.

Well, at least the kid seemed to have his cheery composure back, even if it was still annoying as hell.

"Now listen here, Bethany. Just because I'm sitting at a table with four empty chairs does not mean I am looking for company."

Carla grinned mischievously as she reached out for the bottle of ketchup. "All I heard in that sentence was, 'I am looking for company.'"

Perry growled, but said no more. Maybe if he stayed quiet long enough, none of them would try to pull him into their conversation, allowing him to go about converting their incessant babbling into white noise.

His plan was soon thrown out the window, however, when Gumball decided to bring up a topic of conversation that never seemed to end well for anyone: Family.

"Man, I'm really worried about Kevin. It's been almost two years since his divorce, and he still hasn't been able to meet anyone new."

Carla reached over to pat his hand lovingly, brown eyes wide with sympathetic understanding. "Give him a chance, Baby. Ten years is a lot to get over in two year's time. He'll get there eventually though, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah," Elliot chimed in encouragingly. "It's like when Barry got dumped by his first boyfriend. He was so crushed, since it was the first time he was dating someone who he actually wanted to date, you know? Of course, it didn't help that he just got a bunch of comments like 'I told you this would happen,' from mom and dad."

"Your parents really lectured him over getting dumped?" Carla asked in response to Elliot's latest comment.

"It wasn't that his boyfriend didn't want to go out with him anymore, but the fact that Barry had a boyfriend to begin with. I was the only one in our family who didn't want him sent to that hetero-camp."

"'Hetero-camp?'" Turk questioned.

It took Elliot a moment to answer, what with her lips having been wrapped around her burger, but she nodded as she continued to chew, swallowing faster than she normally did in order to give him a proper response. "Well, I don't think that was the actual name of it, but that's what the camp was for. Parents could send their kids there for counseling if they found out that their kids were gay. It only lasted for a month, but when Barry came home, he looked so…numb. It was years later when he finally came out of the closet, no matter how much our parents protested otherwise. You know…for all the crap they've done to me, I think I'm angrier at them for what they did to Barry. He's been in so many crappy relationships and I can't help but think he would have found a nice guy by now if they hadn't worked so hard at repressing him."

"That's pretty messed up," Turk complied, while Carla seemed too disgusted over the conversation to say much of anything.

Dr. Cox, however, was paying very little attention to any of them. His ears were alert, yes, but from the moment their conversation had began, his attention had focused in solely on Newbie, who had managed to turn even paler during the course of Elliot's story.

"Whoa, you okay, buddy? You don't look so good."

Turk's eyes had wandered over to JD during Perry's quiet observation of him, and while it was obvious that he had no idea why his best friend looked the way he did, it was also more than obvious that he was concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little nauseous, I guess."

Dr. Cox couldn't help but roll his eyes as Carla immediately reached across the table to place her hand over his forehead. "Well, it doesn't feel like you have a fever, but you are a little clammy."

Elliot dropped whatever was left of her burger onto her tray, eyes wide with panic. "Oh my God, do you think it's the burgers? Do you think that's why he's sick?"

"Relax, Elliot. I highly doubt it's the actual food. His stomach was probably upset beforehand and he just didn't realize it until he had something to eat. Bambi," she started in a gentler tone, attention now turned back to the brunet. "Why don't you go rest up for a bit, okay? Your patients are all stable and most of them are sleeping themselves, but I'll page you if anything changes."

Dr. Cox watched in silence as JD merely nodded, giving her a weak smile before picking himself up and heading out of the cafeteria door.

--

Anger.

It was anger he was feeling. Anger at Newbie for hiding in the closet, anger towards his friends for being too stupid to notice, and anger at himself for even giving a damn. Because really, why in God's name should he care? Why couldn't he just let the suspicion dissipate the way he had during the kid's first couple of weeks at Sacred Heart? The answer, of course, was a simple one.

JD hadn't become such a prominent part of Perry's life yet; he hadn't established himself into Dr. Cox's world.

Sure, he'd taken a special interest in the kid straight from the start, because it was just so damn rare when an intern who honestly cared that much about the patients walked through those doors. And yet, before he could register what it was that was actually happening, Newbie had taken shelter under his begrudgingly out stretched wing.

What only made it worse was that Dr. Cox could no longer deny that he didn't give a damn about the kid. Hell, only a few months had gone by since Newbie's father died. He had tried to take care of him from the shadows so as to avoid openly showing affection, and yet, somehow, he had found himself on the kid's living room couch with an arm draped casually over his shoulders.

So no, it wasn't just anger that Dr. Cox was feeling. It was concern. And more than just that, he could not help but shake the feeling that it was his role as JD's…as JD's what, exactly? Mentor? Father figure? The only damn person who knew? Whatever the hell he was going by now, he knew it came with a certain responsibility, and he knew that that responsibility was to be a man, step up to the plate, and help the poor kid out.

Ah, damn it!

Annoyed at everything and everyone – including himself – Perry let his head fall into his hands as he went about massaging the bridge of his nose. Okay, so he'd admit to being worried – gag – about JD; what it was he was doing to himself by pretending he wasn't gay, but now what? As implausible as it was for him to be wrong, he was still wise enough to know that he could be. And even if he did have guaranteed proof that his suspicion was correct, how in the hell were you supposed to handle a situation like that? "Tell me something there, Newbie, are you more interested in dicks or vaginas?" didn't seem like a good way to go about it.

As if sensing that he was thinking of him – which Dr. Cox wouldn't actually doubt – JD walked up to the nurse's station, complexion notably better than it had been just an hour ago at lunch. "Hey, Perry," he yawned casually.

"Hey there, Newbie."

Albeit the sound of machines and chatty nurses, silence accompanied Perry's latest gesture, as JD now seemed too focused on his chart to start a conversation. Usually, Dr. Cox would have rejoiced, but today was proving different…

Damn it, how was he supposed to get this thing rolling? He really hoped that whenever it was time to give Jack the birds and the bees talk (a metaphor he refused to use when it actually was time to talk with his son, since he hated that phrase for as long as he could remember) it wasn't this hard to bring up.

A both familiar and obnoxious voice pulled Perry out of his silent contemplation. Never in his life had he felt so grateful for the scalpel jockey's sudden appearance.

After having successfully creeped Nurse Tisdale out for about the hundredth time in a row, The Todd raised his hand in the air, grin in place, as he waited for whoever had witnessed her rejection to congratulate him on another nice try. "Almost had her five?" he asked innocently when no one reached out to return the gesture.

Dr. Cox jumped on the opportunity, glad that JD had not yet gone off to whatever room his patient's chart indicated. "You know something, Newbie? I'm really looking forward to the day when numb nuts over there decides to finally come out of the closet and save us all from the torture of having to watch him pretend otherwise."

Putting his peripheral vision to use, Dr. Cox went about pretending to cross something off of his chart as he watched JD look up from his own, expression in awe that the older man seemed to be voluntarily starting a conversation with him that had nothing to do with patients or his complete lack of competence as a doctor.

Finally realizing that there wasn't a hidden insult in the Irishman's latest remark, JD's gaze shifted over to The Todd, who had given himself a high five before gallivanting off to God only knew where. "Yeah," he finally answered, tone sounding oddly reflective. "I don't think it's a secret to anyone anymore, really, but he's probably just scared to come out and say it."

"Is that why you won't come out, Newbie?"

For the first time since their conversation began, Dr. Cox looked up from his chart to stare directly into JD's stunned expression. He had asked the question quietly, his tone void of any and all humor, but the look on Newbie's face – the grin that was trying to twitch its way onto his expression and failing miserably – told the older man that he was still trying to figure out whether or not his latest question was supposed to be an insult or taken seriously.

But when Perry just kept staring at him, blue eyes deep with unwavering sincerity, the grin that had been trying so hard to make its way onto the brunet's expression vanished, leaving a visibly horrified looking Newbie in its wake. "W-Why would you ask me that?" JD stuttered, the tips of his ears burning red.

Dr. Cox swallowed what he knew was a rare ball of guilt and forced himself to continue. The last thing he was trying to do was humiliate the kid, and while he knew that would probably be hard for JD to understand, given their track record and all, he also knew that this conversation had to happen; that it was his job – his responsibility – to step up and get the ball rolling. "Breathe, Newbie," he ordered calmly. "No one heard me. I asked quietly on purpose, so just –"

"Why would you ask me that!?"

It was Cox's turn to look surprised as JD's expression turned into one of mortified anger. He had repeated his question in what could only be described as a "whisper-shout," but it had been loud enough for a few of the nurse's to turn in their direction. "Newbie, relax. I'm actually trying to work with you here, so if you could just –"

"No, Dr. Cox. This isn't happening. This…you can't just do that! You can't just jump into things like that when it's convenient for you, okay? Just…just leave it alone. I'll pretend it never happened. It's fine. Just…don't do that again, okay? Please…"

The older man watched him go, visibly annoyed. What in the hell had he meant by saying it was convenient for him to bring up Newbie's sexuality? How in God's name was it convenient for anyone to start that kind of conversation!?

Pissed off at being rejected when he was actually trying to help the stupid idiot, Dr. Cox slammed the chart down onto the nurse's station, causing a few of the nurses to scatter upon witnessing his rage.

He didn't blame the kid for being scared about coming out, but for walking away during a conversation he had actually stressed and worried over? Oh no, no, no, no, no – Newbie was nee-hot getting away with that one.

--

Dr. Cox waited with his back pressed against the wall; his body positioned as close to the door as he could get without being seen by whoever would next walk in. That whoever, of course, was supposed to be JD. He had paged him to Mr. O' Brien's room, hoping that no one had informed the kid of his departure. Of course, Newbie could see that the page was from Dr. Cox and decide not to come due to their earlier conversation.

A plausible theory! If he wasn't talking about JD, who would probably answer the older man's page even at his angriest, especially if it involved taking care of a patient.

Still though, he had paged him a good five minutes ago. Where in the hell was he?

"Hello? Dr. Cox? Mr. O' Brien…? Woo-hoo!"

Ah, right on cue.

Perry waited until JD was far enough into the room so that he couldn't run away before he was able to prohibit his escape. Finally deeming it the proper moment, Dr. Cox darted towards the exit, slamming it shut with a loud and meaningful bang. The older man whirled around quickly, just in time to witness the kid jump at least three feet into the air while letting out a small squeak in the process.

He would've enjoyed the sight if he wasn't already so pissed off.

"Dr. Cox? What, I mean…where's Mr. O' Brien?"

"I'm guessing home, what with him having been released about an hour ago and all."

"Then…why did you page me…?"

"Because you, my dear Newbile One, are full of unadulterated bullshit."

JD openly gawked at him before realization burst into his fearful, blue eyes. "I-Is this about…is this about before? Listen, Dr. Cox –"

"No, you listen. Now there's a slight, and I do mean slight, possibility that I'm actually wrong about this one, but taking into consideration that you've yet to say, 'You're wrong,' which I can honestly understand since it is such a rarity, I'm going to go ahead and assume that I am, in fact, right. So how about you clam up and listen this time around, because believe it or not, I'm doing the very same thing that you beg me to do day after day after day after day; I'm trying to help you over here, Newbie, but you have to actually let me, understand? Help me, help you, help me, help you, help –"

"I ALREADY GOT HELP, OKAY!? I DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE!"

If anyone were to go up to an employee of Sacred Heart Hospital and ask what would occur if they were to stop Dr. Cox mid rant by screaming in retaliation, they would've been given a long list of possible punishments, the number one answer on that list being death. No one would have ever thought to put down that you'd be stared at in absolute shock; that the very same doctor known for his long and intimidating rants would be left speechless.

But as Perry watched JD slump down onto the now empty patient's bed, chest heaving rapidly as he visibly tried to regain control of himself, the attending momentarily forgot what it was he had planned on saying to him in the first place.

He'd told himself that the conversation would be hard; that Newbie would probably be scared, but for one reason or another, he hadn't thought that the discussion would ever be painful. But by the way the kid's chest was still heaving – by the way his eyes remained shut – Dr. Cox knew that it hurt. Badly.

And for a moment, he actually considered walking away. To mutter a quick apology and leave the kid alone.

But wouldn't that only make the whole thing worse?

If Perry left him the way he was now, JD would only sink deeper into whatever denial he had set up for himself. Someone somewhere would eventually call him out on it too, but for what purpose? Would it be one of his friends? That would be okay, Dr. Cox thought, especially since they'd probably be a lot better at the whole comforting part. But what if it wasn't one of the kid's gal pals? What if it was just some random asshole who decided to beat the shit out of him until he answered?

No, Perry had to do this. He didn't know why exactly, but he knew it had to be him. Tough love from a person who actually gave a damn was a lot better than getting the shit beat out of him by someone who obviously didn't. Something that Dr. Cox knew from experience…

He waited a few more seconds for Newbie's breathing to return back to normal. It wasn't until JD's eyes opened, though he still wouldn't look up at his mentor, did the auburn haired doctor deem it okay to speak. "What do you mean you got help, Newbie?" he asked in what he hoped was a softer tone than usual. He would try being nice first, but if the kid made him pull teeth again –

"I don't want to talk about it…"

Okay, back to tough love then.

"I didn't call you in here for the hell of it Newbie, and whether you choose to believe this or not, I didn't call you in here to humiliate you either."

"Bullshit…"

Well that wasn't the answer he was expecting. "Excuse me there, Princess?"

Surprising him for the third time in a matter of minutes, JD shot up from his position on the bed, eyes narrowed in accusation. "Right there! See? Even if I was…you know…why would I tell you? You'd just use it as more reasons to make fun of me. My list of nicknames would only get longer, wouldn't it? If I turned out to be gay, you'd never let it go!"

I told you so. Dr. Cox winced at his silent self beratement. While he had first grown suspicious of Newbie's sexuality during the kid's first couple of weeks at Sacred Heart, that hadn't been the only time he ever wondered, no matter how much he tried telling himself otherwise. The suspicion had resurfaced during the kid's second year, except, unlike the first time, it was accompanied by another suspicion; one that left him with that unfamiliar pang of guilt. He'd chosen to say his piece by means of a rant, hoping that the kid would understand, but when he just went back to going out with women, the older man let his silent question die yet again, eager to get rid of the idea that somehow, someway, Newbie refusing to come out of the closet could have been sort of his fault.

It was the last time he thought of it up until today.

"Do you remember when Carla's mom died?"

The younger of the two seemed taken off guard by the question, but when what was being asked of him really sunk in, JD's expression softened as the pain of Carla's loss flooded back into his memory. Quietly, the brunet nodded, eyes much gentler than they were only seconds ago.

"And do you remember what we talked about right before she told us?"

"We didn't talk about anything; not really, anyway. You just yelled at me again."

"Wrong. I served you one hell of a good rant, true, but do you remember what it was about?"

"Because I repeated what you just got finished telling –"

"No, Newbie. I meant what my actual rant was about. Now I know this is difficult for you, but could you please just try and think for a second? And I mean really think. Come on now, kid, this shouldn't be that hard."

It was a moment before JD answered, but when he realized what his mentor was referring to, his gaze turned back to the older man before him; blue eyes wide with understanding.

"There you go," Perry responded softly.

"I…I completely forgot about that. Your, 'I would never compare you to the gays' speech."

Dr. Cox sighed as his arms left their usual place across his chest; hands sneaking into the pockets of his lab coat in preparation for a speech that didn't involve yelling. "I had a feeling you were gay when you started here, Newbie, but I've never been one to dig into someone's personal life, mainly in that, well, I don't usually give a damn. So when that someone was an intern I barely knew, not to mention what the question was about, I decided to just let it go. You made it real easy to forget there, by the way, what with all of the different women you dated for a while. But anyway, I started suspecting again during your second year, except this time…this time I did know you. What I started wondering, though, was if you were hiding even deeper due to my amazing ability to think of new girls' names for you each and every day. Hold your applause. Anyway, I sure as hell didn't want to be 'that guy,' and believe it or not, I didn't want to see you ruin the rest of your already pathetic love life, so I said what I said for a reason. You understand? The names were never a jab at anything other than the fact that you act like a five year old girl. They were never derogatory, at least not in the way you thought they were."

"So you said the coming out thing because you knew I'd ask if it was a gay joke…?"

Perry nodded.

"Oh…"

"'Oh.'"

Silence encompassed them both as Dr. Cox watched his protégé take a seat back onto the bed, his feet dangling just a little as he went about staring at his knees like they were the most interesting things in the world. That had been hard; for the both of them, really. JD had confronted a fear he held for at least four years in terms of Dr. Cox, his father figure, not accepting him for who he was. Perry, of course, had to openly admit to caring for him. Granted, the kid already knew he cared about him, what with recent events involving the passing of his biological father, but Dr. Cox had admitted to caring about him for as far back as his second year, even though Newbie probably didn't need to hear that out loud to know it was true…

"Thank you."

Dr. Cox breathed a quiet sigh of relief in response to JD's whispered gratitude. Sure, they just crossed a rough patch, but at least now that JD knew he wouldn't reject him, he would finally –

"I mean, you know…I-I'm not, but thanks for letting me know that if I was –"

"You have better be joking with me, Newbie…"

JD winced, but Dr. Cox just couldn't bring himself to care. "For four years now you've been begging me to open up; to do that whole 'share your feelings' crap that you know damn well I can't stand. Now I finally lay it all out there on the table – for you, Carol – and you're still going to play pretend? No way, Newbie, nya-uh. I – we – are not leaving this damn room until you say it."

When JD didn't respond, the Irishman had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from growling. Okay, maybe the kid just didn't know where to start. Dr. Cox, however, knew exactly where to begin. "Newbie," he started out softly. "What did you mean before when you said you already got help; what was that about?"

JD swallowed, hands now visibly shaking as he did his best to answer. "I'm going to be sick, Dr. Cox…"

"…No you won't." Silently, the older man walked over to where his protégé sat shaking. JD instantly moved over, allowing the auburn haired doctor to take a seat next to him at the end of the bed. "Now talk. What kind of 'help' were you given?"

Perry watched in a rare bout of patience as JD inhaled slowly, preparing himself for a story he hadn't planned on telling anyone. "Do you…do you remember Elliot's brother? I mean, do you remember what she told us at lunch today? About how their parents sent him to that place? I, um…my mom sent me there too. Well, I guess, I mean…not the same one Barry went to, obviously, but one of those…those places. To fix me."

Dr. Cox nodded, silently indicating for JD to go on.

"I-It was a month long, like Elliot said. And it just…I hated it. I hated it so much. I didn't even know what being gay meant when she sent me. All I did was…I kissed a boy in my class, that's all. He was cute and he liked me and…and little kids get crushes, right? It was just a stupid peck on the cheek. I didn't…I didn't know that was gay, I didn't, so I told her because I was excited about my first kiss, and she completely flipped out… But it wasn't all that bad. I mean, I did hate it, yeah, but it did, you know…work."

Don't yell, don't yell, don't yell, don't yell. "It worked, Newbie…?"

"It…yeah. Turns out I, um…my father already left when I got a crush on that boy – when I kissed him – so the councilors figured out that I just…I missed my dad a lot, you know? Which is why I was reaching out to other guys; because I wanted male affection."

Don't yell, don't yell, don't yell, don't yell. "Is that so…"
"Y-Yeah. So then they taught me why girls, um…why we're supposed to be attracted to them. As men."

Don't yell, don't yell, don't yell, don't yell. "And why's that, exactly?"

"Because, it just…it just works that way. When you, I mean…a man and a woman fit together, you know? Guys don't…they're not really made to…I mean –"

Time's up.

JD jumped as Dr. Cox practically rocketed off of the bed, whirling around to face the young doctor with a look that screamed, "How stupid can you be?"

"How stupid can you be!?"

There it was.

"It's not stupid!" the brunet retorted, voice only wavering a little. "I was…I was confused, so they made me better. They fixed me!"

"That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard, and what pisses me off even more is that you know it's a load of bullshit. Tell me something there, Newbie. Does Dr. Phillips down in Radiology need 'fixing?'"

"What? Of course not!"

"And what about Dr. Anna up in the ER? Does she need fixing?"

"No! I-I didn't mean it like that!"

"So explain something to me then: How is it that you're the only one who needs 'help'? What makes you so fucking special?"

JD had moved back further onto the bed, eyes frantic as he searched desperately for answers. Dr. Cox watched him, eyes aflame with anger while his insides ached with sympathy. Scarcely did he feel the emotion towards anyone other than his patients, but this was just sick. He'd thought that Newbie's stay in the closet was a voluntary decision. He never would have guessed that he was shoved in there as a child. It was one of those rare occasions in which Dr. Cox took no pleasure in yelling at the kid, but it was also one of those rare occasions in which JD actually needed it. "Well!?" he barked after a moment of silence.

"Because I'm not actually gay, remember? I told you! I just missed my dad!"

"Oh, please! If people 'became gay' because of divorce and shit parenting, more than half of the fucking world would be marching in a pride parade right now. Give me a break already!"

"But you've seen me, Dr. Cox! You've seen me date women before!"

"Oh, I've seen you. I've also seen you sabotage each and every one of those relationships before you could even pass the one month marker."

JD could only gawk at him before looking back down into his lap. He gave a shaky breath, and Dr. Cox could've sworn he was holding back tears. Ah, damn it…

Calming himself down, the older man inhaled too. When next he spoke, his tone was softer; gentler, even. "Can I ask you something, Newbie?"

Quietly, JD nodded.

"As far as I know, I'm the only one in this hospital who's ever suspected. You're girlier than a unicorn shopping for bubblegum, yet, somehow, you've been able to pass through these halls day in and day out without anyone guessing otherwise. Despite all of those feminine qualities, you've managed to convince people that you're not what you claim you aren't. So I have to ask…what happened? Why are conversations about sexuality just now getting to you? I've commented on you and Gandhi before, but you never acted like you did today. You always just ignored it or retaliated. What's changed since then? How did it suddenly become harder for you to hide?"

Still unable to look up at his mentor, JD answered quietly; voice thick with unshed tears. "Do you know who Dr. Simon is?"

Dr. Simon. He'd been out of the closet before even coming to Sacred Heart and didn't give a damn who knew. Perry liked that. "Yeah, I know him. Good doctor."

JD nodded. "One of his patients requested that he be given a new doctor the other day. He told him…he told him that he didn't want a faggot as his doctor. So guess who they gave him instead, Dr. Cox? Really, take a guess!"

Perry swallowed. He wasn't surprised that Dr. Simon was called what he was called, even if it did disgust him. Almost every doctor in the joint had experienced a patient who was racist, sexist, homophobic, you name it. What made his stomach flip was how bitter Newbie sounded. Not that he blamed him, of course, but the kid just wasn't supposed to sound like that. He just…wasn't. "Tell me, JD."

The use of his real name seemed to wake him somewhat. When he continued speaking, he sounded more hurt than angry. "Me, Dr. Cox. It was me. And when Dr. Simon gave me the guy's chart, he also gave me this…this look. It wasn't anger. It wasn't accusation. It was just…knowing. Sympathetic, almost. I told him I was sorry, and I think he knew what for, because all he did was give me this sad little smile and ask, 'For what?' before walking to his next patient's room. I didn't know what to say after that. I didn't even know what to do. So I just went into that guy's room and started treating him. He smiled at me and I instantly felt sick. I felt sick because…because I knew that if he knew… I knew that he'd hate me too if I told him I was…if I was…"

Dr. Cox held his breath as JD's shaking grew more and more apparent. Come on, Newbie. It's okay. Just say it.

"Can you…can you say it for me?"

Adrenaline running from what he knew was finally about to happen, Dr. Cox forced himself to remain calm as he quietly shook his head no. "You have to be the one to say it, kid."

JD nodded rapidly, his adrenaline clearly on the run as well. "Quick like a band aid, right? To make it hurt less?"

"You can say it however fast or slow you want to, but honestly? I don't think it'll hurt no matter how you choose to say it. In fact, I'm guessing it'll feel pretty damn good."

And just like that, the shaking came to a halt. The brunet's entire body tensed as the room around them went still. It was as if time had stopped and JD knew the magic words to make it start moving again; like it was up to him and him alone to break the spell.

"…I-I'm gay."

Dr. Cox grinned, his expression bittersweet, as Newbie's next reaction was to flinch; like the kid was seriously waiting for the world to implode now that he said what he'd been forced to deny. Yet as the seconds ticked by and the world kept on going, JD's shoulders visibly relaxed, causing the older man to give a rare and affectionate smile. "Atta' boy, Newbie."

For the first time in what felt like hours, the doe eyed doctor looked up at his mentor; a shy little smile slowly making it's way onto his expression. "And you…you're okay with that, right?"

Perry nodded immediately. "You better believe it, kid."

Dr. Cox couldn't help but chuckle as JD's next reaction was to laugh. The relief in the room was palpable, and damn did it feel good.

The older man wasn't particularly sure why he asked what he asked next, but now that the kid was finally out of the closet, he couldn't deny that he was curious. "So tell me something there, Newbie. You and Gandhi…"

"Ah, no! That'd be like having a crush on my brother!"

Dr. Cox bit down another bout of laughter as he continued with this question. "It was a joke, Newbie. Relax. You must like somebody though, right?"

"Well, I don't really have a crush on anybody right now, but that new doctor in OBGYN is pretty cute…"

"Is he gay?"

"Yeah, he's out. All the girls were disappointed when he told them."

"Well at least you won't have to worry about him cheating on you if you two end up bumping uglies, what with his job being to look at vaginas all day. Lucky bastard…"

JD giggled. "Yeah… Hey, um…Dr. Cox?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think, I mean…I still have to tell Turk, Elliot and Carla. I, uh…would you mind being there? You don't have to say anything. I just thought that maybe, you know –"

"Yeah, Newbie, I'll be there."

JD smiled, his blue eyes soft with appreciation. "Thank you."

As the brunet hopped up from the bed to join his mentor in leaving what used to be Mr. O' Brien's room, he couldn't help but ask yet another question. "Hey, do you think once everybody knows, I could really have a coming out party?"

"Oh, dear God…"

"We could get a huge cake, you know."

"Shaped like a penis?" Perry asked in mock excitement.

JD rolled his eyes, though the air of playfulness around it was more than obvious. "You'd come either way though, wouldn't you?"

Perry scoffed. "Dream on, Newbile One."

When the brunet only continued to smile, the Irishman just couldn't contain himself. Making sure nobody was around to witness his rare act of affection, the older man reached out to ruffle the kid's hair. "Yeah, Newbie, I'd come. Just don't expect me to eat that cake."

JD smiled. "A rainbow cookie, then?"

Dr. Cox grinned. "We'll see."

A/N: I know "Newbile" is really spelled "Nubile," but I always thought Perry called him that as a way to incorporate his usual Newbie nickname in there, so I altered the spelling a bit. ;) Anyway, this turned out a lot longer than I originally thought it would, but it's been something I've wanted to try writing for quite a while now, so hopefully, it came out alright. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it. Until next time!