Yumichika's Bad Day
I barely had the energy to sneer. Not that I would, sneering isn't very beautiful, and I always exhibit beauty.
I raised Fuji Kujaku in defiance of Ikkaku's taunts. We had been sparring for a while and neither of us was ready to admit defeat, even though we both were getting tired.
Ikkaku lunged forewords swinging Houzukimaru in a wide arc, and I jumped back bringing my own sword up to block. Instead of our two swords clashing I felt myself falling instead. Curse that rainstorm yesterday! It now had two strikes against me, it had messed up my hair yesterday, and it had created mud in our practice field, causing me to slip and become muddy today!
I landed hard on my back, causing several things to happen in quick succession. First, Fuji Kujaku flew from my hand, heading back behind me. Second, Ikkaku started laughing – at me! The nerve of him! Third, my right sandal flew off and hit him square on the forehead, causing him to lurch back into a muddy spot, causing him to slip as well.
I smiled darkly when he sat up; mud had covered his head, making him look like he had a very bad hair cut.
"Yunichika!" He growled loudly. "You planned this didn't you!"
I was dismayed. "This is very ugly, Ikkaku, I would never dream about falling in mud!"
He was about to say something else when we were interrupted by a loud click and a child's giggle. Slowly we both turned and saw Yachiru perched on Captain Zakari's shoulder holding a camera, both were looking at us.
"Look Ken-chan!" She said and pointed towards us. "Feathers and Baldy are playing in the mud! It looks like Baldy's grown some hair!"
"They do look like they're having fun don't they?" Captain Zakari said grinning.
"Good thing we're taking pictures for the yearbook today! Otherwise no one would know how much fun they have while playing in the mud!" Yachiru said happiness evident in her voice.
I froze. I was covered in mud! I didn't want people to see me looking this ugly! It was one thing for my squad-mates to see me like this, but it was another for those outside the squad! A small part of me knew that something needed to be done, but I didn't know what to do!
Vaguely I heard Ikkaku yelling and screaming about something, and I turned to look at him, he was running straight at Vice-captain Yachiru, and I didn't register what he was doing until he grabbed at the camera.
That brought me out of my paralysis. It was too late to stop our squad-mates from seeing, but there was no way that picture could ever get re-printed for everyone to see! It must never be widely known that I, Ayasegawa Yumichika, the most beautiful in all the Soul Society, could ever look this ugly!
I quickly scanned the courtyard for my sword, and I found it directly behind me planted in the wall above the unmoving form of some unseated member. I quickly went and rescued it from the wall, glancing down at my squad-mate. He'd live, but I wouldn't if that picture got printed!
"Ah! Yumichika! You're moving! We have a new goal: that camera!" Ikkaku said as I ran to join him.
"No complaints here." I said looking at the Devil Child, hoping that her guardian (Captain Zakari) wouldn't interfere too much. His interference would make getting back the camera much harder, and while I usually embraced a challenge, I didn't want one now, I just wanted to get rid of this mud!
Fortunately, he seemed to be in the mood just to watch instead of act, all he was doing was keeping Yachiru away from Ikkaku. Yachiru continued to giggle and also to take pictures from Captain Zakari's shoulder.
I ran towards them, jumping into the air, aiming to snatch the camera from her hands, but Captain Zakari crouched down, and I went sailing over him, sliding into yet another accursed mud pit.
"Ken-chan! This way!" Yachiru said pointing to her fright, towards the gates. "Let's see if they can keep up!"
"Okay." Captain Zakari said, running out the gates.
"Horray! We get to play tag!" Yachiru said as they disappeared around the gates.
I swore. Here I was looking…less than beautiful and they were leaving the squad grounds!
I was torn on what to do, but Ikkaku evidently was not.
"Let's go Yumichika!" He said and dragged me out after our Captain and Vice-captain.
This was going to be a long day…
#
It had started raining again.
Could this day get any worse?! Ikkaku and I had already chased our captain post both the Tenth and Ninth squad grounds and we were rapidly approaching the Eighth's.
For it to be such a nasty day outside the Tenth Squad had been annoyingly active. They were all out in their courtyard with the gates open. Captain Hitsugaya and most of the squad had seen us, but fortunately Matsumoto-san hadn't been around. If she knew what I looked like right now there would be no way I would ever show myself in public again.
The Ninth Squad had been thankfully absent, and oh I hope we get that camera back soon! This is sooo embarrassing! At least the rain would help get rid of the mud on me…if it would just rain harder!
Ahead of us Capatin Zakari had passed the Eighth's thankfully closed gates. Ikkaku and I pressed on, both desperately wanting that camera back.
As we passed the gates I saw a moving figure suddenly appear from the corner of my eye. Before I could dodge Vice-Captain Ise ran into me, the basket she was holding breaking in the force of the sudden collision, the contents flying everywhere.
I stumbled away and managed not to fall over, but I was covered in…
"Rose petals?" I said aloud, removing one from my sleeve and looking at it.
"Yes." Ise-san snapped. "Kyouraku sent me out for these and now you are going to help me get some more!"
I looked over at Ise-san, surprised. "But, I have to get the camera from Vice-Captain Yachiru!"
"…Yachiru-chan?" Ise asked.
I pointed. Yachiru had made Captain Zakari stop and she was rapidly snapping pictures. How many pictures did that camera hold anyhow?
Ise-san's reaction surprised me. She smirked.
"Well…at least I know she's using that thing…" She said to herself.
Ise-san walked to where I was standing and collected an armful of Sakura Petals from me and calmly went to Ikkaku, who was again trying to get the camera from Yachiru. She did a quick spin kick stopping his progress, and dumped the armful of petals on him.
"What was that for?" Ikkaku said angrily turning on Ise-san.
Ise-san ignored him. "Keep up the good work, President Yachiru." Ise-san said and started walking back to me eying me dangerously.
"Okay! And watch out for Baldy! He must think you're in our game of tag too, cause he's sneaking up on you!" Yachiru chirruped.
Ise-san spun around and punched him in the face. Ikkaku stopped and slid to the ground dazed. Ise turned back to me, adjusting her glasses. I took a step back, knowing full well of the stories of this woman when she got angry. She shunpoed to me and punched me as well. This time I did fall over, landing in the mud…again.
I almost asked what I had done, but then I remembered the basket.
"Captain Zakari, may I borrow this one," she pointed to me, turning to Captain Zakari. "He needs to help me gather more rose petals as punishment."
I looked at Captain Zakari, hoping he would say no.
"What are Yumichika's duties tomorrow?" He asked Yachiru.
She pursed her lips, thinking. "He's working in the records room tomorrow."
He nodded. "He can help you then."
Ise-san looked smugly at me. "See you here at 9am sharp." Then she was gone.
"C-captain! I will need to be in the records room all day! I don't have time to help her!"
"Pleasure before work." Zakari said. "Are you two done with this distraction? I'm ready to continue our game. Are you getting any good pictures, Yachiru?"
"Yup! I like this one!" She said showing him one of the pictures.
"That is a good one." Zakari agreed. "Those two look good in the mud."
That got Ikkaku and my attention again.
"Why you little!" Ikkaku said launching himself at the pair.
I joined him and together we ran after the again moving demons.
They headed towards the Seventh's squad grounds, where we saw no one. We were passing the sixth's grounds when I got an idea.
"Ikkaku! I got an idea, follow my lead!"
"Alright!"
I shunpoed in front of Captain Zakari and, aiming low, hit him in the gut, trusting Ikkaku to take advantage of the situation. He didn't fail me.
With a triumphant yell Ikkaku jumped forward pouncing on the rattled Vice-Captain. She gasped in surprise and the camera slipped from her fingers, falling beautifully to the ground.
But, before either Ikkaku or I could grab it, a sword flashed and the camera hit the ground in pieces.
All four of us froze and looked up in unison. Captain Kuchiki sheathed his sword.
"Bya-kun! Why'd you do that?" Yachiru asked him indignantly.
"You were being noisy and disrupting the serenity of the rain." He said calmly.
I didn't know if I hated or admired him at this point. He did destroy the accursed camera, but he was totally unaffected by the rain! It was almost like the rain wasn't falling on him at all!
"Bya-kun! That wasn't very nice! You shouldn't—" Yachiru started, but was interrupted when Captain Kuchiki shoved a large lollipop in her mouth.
"Yummmm…"
Yachiru was no longer mad. I could see that in her eyes.
"Zakari Kenpachi. Madarame Ikkaku. Ayasegawa Yumichika. You three should know better than to run around causing a commotion. What were you doing?" He said turning to the rest of us.
"We were out having some fun." Captain Zakari answered. "Right you two?"
We grunted non-committaly. The captain might've thought it was fun, but I just found it embarrassing.
"Hmm…" Captain Kuchiki said. He took one last look at us, and then turned to go back inside the gate. He stopped before disappearing from sight.
"Ayasegawa Yumichika, nice black eye." Then he disappeared.
I felt my eye and to my horror I felt it was indeed puffed up! I sank to the ground defeated.
"I have to reason to live…so many people saw me looking ugly today and now I will remain ugly forever because of my black eye. Somebody kill me now…"
"Tsh. It'll go away, let's go." Ikkaku said pulling me to my feet. "You'll recover after a bath."
"No I won't. The mud will disappear, but the eye will remain bruised. I'll never be beautiful again…"
"But Feathers!" Yachiru said, pulling the lollipop from her mouth. "You look pretty now! Why are you so sad?"
I just hung my head and let Ikkaku drag me back to the squad grounds.
#
The next few months went smoothly (after we beat up anyone who mentioned The Incident). Then the yearbook came out, and there was a full page (in full color, I might add) of The Incident!
I was in the courtyard when I saw this. Immediately I ran to Ikkaku's quarters to show him.
"Ikkaku! Have you seen it!?" I yelled, flinging the door open.
"What are you talking about?" Ikkaku looked annoyed at the interruption, but I didn't care.
"The Yearbook! Somehow someone else took pictures of The Incident and put them there! See! All four of us are in some of these!"
I brandished the yearbook at him, showing him the pages. His expression went from annoyed to livid.
"What!? Who took these!?" I'm going to kill them!" He said grabbing the yearbook from me.
I looked over his shoulder. I didn't want to look at the pictures, but I too wanted blood.
"There!" I said pointing. "'All pictures credited to Hisagi Shuuhei and Matsumoto Rangiku.'"
"They're dead!" Ikkaku said grabbing his sword.
"Yes that they are." I said, checking my own sword.
We ran out of the squad grounds and instantly met Captain Kuchiki. We stopped dead in our tracks, wondering what he was doing outside our gates.
"I hope you are not going to the Tenth or Ninth squad barracks." He said calmly. "A trip to either place would result in an unfortunate accident."
"I don't' care!" Ikkaku said, a vein pulsing. "Let's go Yumichika."
I nodded, completely in agreement with him.
We started past him, and had only drawn level with him when he disappeared.
I swore.
I tried to escape, but his attack was faster.
It was over in seconds. Ikkaku and I were lying in the pathway, bleeding from too numerous wounds to count, when Matsumoto showed up.
"Oh wow." She said, crouching down to get a better look at me. "You got them good."
"Yes, I did 'get them good.'" He said, sheathing his sword. "Do you have my payment?"
"Yes, here it is." She stood up and handed him an envelope.
Captain Kuchiki opened it, pulled out some photos, quickly glanced through them, nodded, and left.
Matsumoto turned back to us. "You know, it's not very healthy to pick fights with Captain Kuchiki. You really need to learn how to restrain yourselves better." She pulled out a camera. "Or at least you need to come out of the fight looking prettier. I get bad photos when you look this bad." She snapped a few pictures.
"Shut up and go away." I said horrified that she had again caught me looking ugly.
She just smiled and took another picture.
Fin