Title: A Fight to Forget

Chapter 1: Merlin, Please!

Disclaimer: I Don't Own ANYTHING

Warning: Contains Slash relationships and self-harming. If you don't like it don't read it!

A.N.: This is a sequel to my other Merlin story 'A Fight to Remember'. It's going to be written slightly different to my usual stories, because it's going to have little pieces of people's minds in it. There will be diary entries, POV's and narrative parts :) Please, R&R!!

ENJOY

Merlin - Diary Entry One.

I can't believe what's happened in the last few weeks. When Arthur told me that his father would forgive us, I'd been over the moon, even though he hadn't said anything to do with our relationship. We'd packed the huts up and given them to the villagers, just in case they needed to leave the village for fairly long periods of time, and we left them most of the food we'd hunted for or foraged for. We'd left with Uther and his personal guard, arriving at Camelot early the next morning. Arthur and I had both gone to our rooms to rest. Gaius was so pleased that I wasn't dead. But then everything went wrong.

King Cendrid found out about Uther and his personal guard crossing the border between his kingdom and Camelot, and tried to declare war, Arthur was pressured by Uther about how he'd 'disappointed his father when he said he was gay', and Arthur and I started fighting. It's been awful, the past few days. Arthur refuses to speak to me, and he won't listen to Morgana, or even Gwen. I hope that no one finds this diary, it's the only thing I'm honest with at the moment. Nobody knows what I've been doing to myself lately, this is the first time I've put it into words: I'm destroying myself. Nobody will ever see my scars, as I can easily cover them up.

I seal this entry with my newly drawn blood, and hope that this hellish time is over soon.

Merlin.