"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears," James proclaimed as he glided into the boys' dormitory, arms spread wide. Remus was reading on his bed, Sirius was seated on the floor clipping the twigs of his Cleansweep while Peter was practising nonverbal spellwork. None of them looked up despite James' dramatic entrance.
"C'mon guys, throw me a bone, I'm trying to introduce an epic plan here," James said disappointedly.
"What was that?" Sirius asked as he looked up in surprise. "Oh! Sorry, sorry, lets try it again."
"Okay," James grinned eagerly and swept out of the room.
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears!"
"What is it Prongs?"
"What's up?!"
"Are you be about to unveil an epic plan?"
"Hmm that last bit was overkill," James said with a frown.
"Should we try it again?" Peter asked.
"Nah, I can live with it," James waved him off.
"You sure?" Sirius asked, gesticulating toward the door, "Because we could do it over-"
"JUST TELL US YOUR PLAN!" Remus interjected.
"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah," James replied airily, "It's genius, it's genius, you're gonna love it."
"If you manage to tell us before we all shrivel up and decay," Peter muttered under his breath.
"Hey, you were the one encouraging this nonsense, 'should we do it again?' As if doing it twice wasn't enough!" Remus huffed in exasperation.
"WOULD YOU LET HIM TELL US THE PLAN FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!" Sirius bellowed.
Immediately, everyone fell silent.
"This better be one hell of a plan, Prongs. . ." Peter grumbled.
"It is, it is, you won't be disappointed," James assured them. "Okay," he said and looked around at them impressively. "I am going to win Lily Evans over-" the rest of the boys groaned in unison.
"No seriously guys! This time it's different! I have a real plan!" James cried. "Get this, I'm going to get myself injured in someway, nothing serious, just enough to get me into the hospital wing. Evans will be so worried about me that she'll abandon her whole gruff 'I-hate-you-James' shtick that she's got going on, to rush to my bedside and confess her undying love to me." He stared at each of the Marauders in turn, all of whom were staring back at him, mouths agape.
"So what do you think?" he asked breathlessly.
"That's stupid."
"It'll never work, mate."
"You're going to risk missing a quidditch match for a girl?!"
"It is not, it will to, and yes I am."
"Prongs, please!" Sirius begged and sprang to his feet, gripping James by the shoulder. "You know that if you miss quidditch then we have to use our back up Seeker," he said dropping his voice to a whisper, "and Prongs, Wormtail's one of our best mates but we both know he doesn't know one end of a broomstick from the other."
"I can still hear you, we're in the same room," Peter said, rolling his eyes.
"Hey, I said you're one of my best mates," Sirius said with a shrug.
"I'm flattered," Peter said in a listless tone, gnawing on his fingers.
"Blah, blah, Wormtail's self esteem issues, what else is new," James interjected.
"What? I don't have self esteem iss-"
"Back to my problems." James waved him off blithely. "I'm going through with the plan and no matter what you say, it's going to work BRILLIANTLY," he shouted, punching the air for emphasis. "Ooh! Gotta go," he said suddenly, tapping his watch, "Phase One is about to commence. Toodles!" he said as he rushed out of the room.
Remus, Sirius, and Peter all exchanged looks before jumping to their feet and racing after him. They hopped down the spiral staircase, shot through the common room and bolted after him through the portrait hole. They streaked down corridors and up stairwells until they skidded to a stop behind James who had halted abruptly and was standing stock still in an empty corridor.
"What are we doing here?"
"Shhh," James said throwing a hand in the air. "In a moment, the bell will ring, Lily's Ancient Runes class will end, and she be walking down this very corridor," he finished with a solemn look.
"Wow. . ."
"That's just-"
"Beyond creepy."
James shot them a look and then turned his attention back to the corridor. They were all staring intently at the door of the Ancient Runes classroom when the bell clanged loudly causing them all to jump.
"Go! Go somewhere else, it'll look stupid if we're all together!" James hissed and started shooing them away as the corridor flooded with students. Three of the Marauders scurried off while James stood in a throng of pupils, craning his neck to spot the flaming head of hair that was bobbing down the corridor. When Lily was close enough he started walking in the direction she was going towards the marble staircase. He nodded at a tiny, sandy haired first year who had been clutching the banister, waiting. The girl stepped ahead of him and started trudging down the stairs, plunging her foot directly and deliberately into the trick step.
"Ouch! I'm stuck, I'm going to be late for potions," the girl whimpered, her braids falling forward as she lamented over her wedged foot.
"Don't worry," James said kindly. "I'll get you out and off to class in no time." He put both hands on her waist and lifted her smoothly out of the stuck step.
"That was easier than I expected," he muttered darkly.
"Go limp," the girl whispered before shrieking and kicking him in the shins.
"WHOA!" James cried as he fell backwards and off the step. He tumbled down the staircase, landing at the bottom with a thud and a sickening crunch.
"Ughh," he moaned as he rolled over onto his back and cradled his right arm gingerly.
"Are you okay?"
"Give him air."
"Move back!"
"Somebody grab a professor."
"Ughhh," he moaned again as he sat up.
Hands were suddenly pushing back on his chest, and dozens of faces were swimming in front of him.
"Bad idea mate, just lay back down."
"Naw, I'm fine," he insisted groggily, "Where's Evans?" he asked, his eyes slightly out of focus. Suddenly his head started spinning and flickering black dots started to cloud his vision. With a thud, he passed out.
James woke up to a bright streak of sunlight blazing against his eyelids. He could hear rustling and furtive whispers before he opened his eyes. Squinting against the morning sun, he looked around to see Sirius sitting in a chair next to him, while Remus stood, and Peter sat at the foot of the bed.
"Moony draw my bed hangings, its too bright," James croaked. His skull was pounding.
"He's awake!" Peter said excitedly.
"He's all muddled up. . ." Sirius observed.
"What? No I'm not," James protested weakly.
"We're not in the dorms, Prongs," Remus explained. "We're in the hospital wing, you've got a concussion and a broken arm."
"Well give me some skelegrow and get me outta here," he complained. "I've gotta go salvage this plan and find Evans," he said as he tried to sit up but the black spots started forming again.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy," Peter cried out as he pushed James back against his pillows.
"Madam Pomfrey said she doesn't want to give you skelegrow until that concussion is all fixed. She gave you some potion but she says now we've just got to wait and monitor you for a day or two, and then she can get to fixing your arm." Remus said.
"Alright, alright," he mumbled sleepily before settling back down and dozing off again.
****
The next time James woke up, it was with a great start, and he sat bolt upright. He peered blearily into the dark room and fumbled for his glasses. With them on, he could see that standing at the end of his bed, hands together, was the little sandy haired first year with braids.
"Addie?" he asked in surprise. "What are you doing here? You don't have to apologize, its okay," he said kindly.
"Apologize?!" she scoffed in disbelief. "I came here for my money." She asserted, hands on her hips.
"Seriously? You pushed me down a flight of stairs and gave me a concussion and a broken arm and you think I'm still going to pay you?"
"I did exactly what you asked, now give me my ten galleons."
"Ten galleons?! I told you I'd pay you five!"
"Damn it," she whispered, "I thought you said you had a concussion," she said suspiciously.
"You're not even supposed to be here!" he cried out, face screwed up in shock and bewilderment. "I'm going to call the nurse if you don't get out," he threatened.
"You wouldn't," Her brown eyes opened wide in fear.
"Watch me," he growled.
She jumped with a squeak and ran toward the door, braids flying behind her.
"You'll pay, Potter!" she warned before scampering out of the room.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered with a wave of his hand. "Little runt."
He was just settling back into bed when he heard the door creaking open again.
"I told you, I'm not going to pay for-"
A shock of red hair swung through the door and he stopped speaking at once.
"Evans?" he asked in jubilation and disbelief.
"Hey, Potter," she said easily as she stomped in the room.
"What are you doing here?" he asked expectantly.
As though reading his mind, she rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smirk.
"I didn't come here to care for you and tend to your wounds. I came to laugh at you and mock your ill thought out plans."
"My plans?" he asked fearfully, wondering what she had been told.
"Yeah," she said casually. "Oh, and I brought you these," she said as she pulled a bag of Pepper Imps out of her pocket. "I know they're your favourite," she said, tossing them to him.
"Thanks!" he said in surprise before ripping the bag open and offering her one.
They sat munching the Pepper Imps in silence before Lily spoke.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" she asked from her seat on the chair next to his bed.
He scowled at her and ran his fingers through his hair.
"How d'you mean?"
"I mean, never in my right mind would I do something like that for a boy," she said, chewing thoughtfully. "Especially for a boy who has given me every reason not to," she said with a wry smile.
"Nah, you would," he argued shaking his head. "That is, if you liked him enough," he amended, making her blush. "If he gave you every reason not to and it made you desperate enough," he amended again, causing her to laugh.
"I'm an even bigger idiot than you," she groaned and pushed her hand through her long red hair.
"I doubt that's possible," he chuckled and slumped against his pillows. "But now you've got me curious, what could you have possibly done that was more idiotic than throwing yourself over a flight of stairs for a girl?" he demanded.
"I made a boy throw himself over a flight of stairs-" she shrugged.
"What? No, this isn't your fault," he said in puzzlement as he shook his head insistently.
"Hmm, it kinda is," she started slowly. "I shoulda told you a long time ago," she said, staring pointedly away from his stare, "but I might not hate you as much as I let on," She admitted, sneaking at his face.
His look of puzzlement did not leave his face but a small smile was slowly pulling at his lips.
"I might even, kind of, sort of, like you," she admitted grudgingly.
The smile split open and cracked across his face.
"No," she shook her head and started to laugh. "Do not look at me like that," she ordered.
He nodded his head in a self satisfied way and continued to grin.
"Don't even start!" she jumped to her feet and pointed her finger at him threateningly while trying to keep her giggles from bubbling over.
"Today's the day Evans!" he yelped happily.
"Oh, Merlin," she huffed, trying and failing to look frustrated and annoyed.
Using his good arm, he grabbed her hand and tugged her onto the hospital bed, pulling her into a one armed hug.
"I hate you," she grumbled into his chest.
"No, you don't," he contested and planted a kiss on her head. "You might even, kind of, sort of, like me, if I do recall."
"Right," she sighed and tilted her head up to look into his face.
He was an idiot, he was completely mad, and he was still as much of a cocky toerag as ever, but that was fine by her. It was all these ridiculous things that made him kind of, sort of, likeable. But of course, she liked him much more than kind of, sort of, but he didn't need to know that just yet.