A/N: So this is another songfic that's not really a songfic, just based entirely on one of my favorite songs ever, Sometime Around Midnight by Airbourne Toxic Event. They were on the NCIS Soundtrack Volume I (I Don't Want To Be On TV was their song), and my friend gave me their CD and THEY ARE AMAZING!!! Please listen to the song, or at least read the lyrics, cuz this style of writing might seem a little hinky if you don't know the song.

Disclaimer: My birthday is coming soon… since Santa forgot to put NCIS in my stocking, maybe the birthday fairy will remember it? I don't own the song either…

~*~

It starts sometime around midnight.

You lean against the bar, gripping your fifth scotch of the night. You stare intently across the room at Ziva. You know Gibbs was somewhere sitting around the bar; still nursing his first, maybe second drink. Ducky is chatting with an old friend, another M.E. from Bethesda. Palmer is attempting to talk to a pretty girl, but his drunkenness makes his clumsiness even more pronounced, and he's really just making a fool of himself. McGee and Abby have their heads together at a table, discussing God knows what. But you have eyes only for Ziva. Who apparently has eyes only for Damon Werth.

She's laughing, smiling, acting more like the Ziva she had been before she had returned to Israel. You have not seen her like this in a long time, and although your happy that she was happy, a part of you is angry over the fact that you is not the one making her act like that. Werth is.

Of all the people to run into again, of all the people that could make her smile, it had to be the crazy man who drugged himself to become some super-marine. Did Ziva not remember that this was the guy that broke your nose, dislocated McGee's shoulder, and gave her a black eye? No, she's just standing there, laughing with him while sipping her drink.

Ziva looks over and makes eye contact with you. Touching Werth's shoulder fondly, she excuses herself and makes her way over to you. "How are you doing, Tony?"

You turn you head away from her. You know she doesn't wear perfume, but she has her own unique scent that drives you crazy. It makes you remember things you'd rather forget, especially in your not-so-sober state.

Your mind flashes back to their undercover assignment. Your closeness, your kisses, your nakedness… it kills you to think of those nights. You remember your movie nights where you would fall asleep on the couch wrapped in each other's arms. You remember your flirtatious banter, your sexual tension, all the times that she was just within arms distance that you could reach out and hold her close and kiss her. So many times where you could have just told her everything... and you just didn't.

You shake yourself out of your memories. "Oh, I'm just dandy. And you, Ziva? Having a swell time with Corporal Madman over there?" You say, your words slurred.

She gives you a reprimanding glare. "Damon and I are just catching up. There's nothing wrong with that."

You give a demeaning snort and look back at your drink. She stares at you for a few moments longer, then turns her back and walks away. You catche her scent as she spun away, and the knot in your stomach tightens even more. She rejoins Werth and smiles like she doesn't have a care in the world. You watche her continue to laugh and smile and act perfectly fine. You watch Werth put his arm around her and hold her close. You watch them leave together, only after she turns her head around and makes eye contact with you.

You don't know how much time has passed since you watched Ziva and Werth leave, but it must have been at least several hours. You watched, without taking anything in, McGee and Abby shove Palmer into a taxi. You know they came over after and said their goodbyes with worried looks on their faces, but left him in peace. Ducky had said some words of encouragement that you hadn't listened to. Gibbs gave you a harsh glare which you avoided, then proceeded to leave without a word. The bar begins closing up, and the barman asks if he could call you a cab. You shake your head no, pay for your drinks, and stumble out the door.

You walk through the streets, tripping over cracks in the sidewalk that do not exist. People stare at you, some even point, but you don't notice. You wander, letting random thoughts invade your mind. Regret courses through your veins right along the alcohol that is currently residing there. But in the morning, the alcohol will be gone from your body, only leaving you with the migraine as a reminder of the night before, but regret will stay with you for as long as you live. If onlys attack through your mind… If only I had told her. If only I hadn't been coward.

Before you realize it, you're standing outside her new apartment. I just have to see her he thinks. I just have to see her. You trip up her stairs, catching yourself with the banister. You don't consider she might not be there. You don't consider she might not be alone. You just pound on her door. Moments later, it opens to a very stunned and very angered Ziva.

She looks like she'll break you in two.