WHEE!!! This one was fun to write! Captain Hammer is truly amazing. He just doesn't get it. He is so clueless that it was almost painful to write. But it was oh so much fun.

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Captain Hammer gave himself a pat on the back for a job well done. Or at least, he tried to, but he couldn't quite reach. After all, even though he WAS the strongest man to ever have existed (he chuckled at the thought), everyone knew that no one could touch the middle of their back, and he thought that he had broken so many records already that there was no use breaking any more. But even so, he did give it a good try as he watched the screen in front of him. His assistant, Miles, who was there to do the menial chores in his apartment so he could practice his smile and other heroic stuff, had set it all up for him while he had been in his shower.

He watched as the man on his screen blinked up at him, not knowing who was watching. The man on his screen was scrawny, with mussed blonde hair and understated blue eyes. The blonde man had started off his web-cast with a rather pathetic evil laugh, causing Captain Hammer to shake his head pityingly at him. Then the blonde man had gone off on a mini rant about how he was seeing a vocal coach and how some people "ignored the laugh", causing Captain Hammer to smile condescendingly at his screen. 'Well at least he realized he had lots of room for improvement' he had thought to himself. Then the man had started on his ambitions to join the ELE, the biggest league of villains on this side of the country. Captain Hammer had shaken his head mockingly, there was no way a half-wit like Doctor Horrible would EVER be able to get into the ELE, not as long as he, Captain Hammer, corporate tool, hero of the people, savior of innocent souls, and general… whatever the person in charge was called, was around to stop him.

Then the doctor had finally gotten around to responding to the emails. Captain Hammer's was the first one he answered, written under a different name of course, and the doctor even complimented the writer on his use of sarcasm, more proof that he wasn't ELE material. He obviously didn't know when people were mocking him, a skill that Captain Hammer was quite sure he had mastered. Then, in response to the question that Captain Hammer had written, The doctor had started lying through his teeth and producing false evidence in order to not lose face. Captain Hammer knew that this was a sign of weakness, and that he himself would have had no problem confessing to his faults if he had had any.

Captain Hammer listened to the rest of the web-cast with half an ear, as he was starting to get bored. It wasn't until the end, when the doctor spontaneously broke out into song, that he started paying attention again. He listened with interest as the doctor started singing about his ladylove, who apparently didn't know he existed. The doctor also apparently saw her at the laundromat when he was there doing laundry. Captain Hammer sneered, repulsed at the idea of doing laundry, his own or anyone else's. Then, mid-song, someone entered the doctor's home, and he quickly turned off his webcam. Captain Hammer sat back in his chair, thinking how stupid the doctor must be to put all that out on the internet where anyone smart enough to turn on their computer could watch it.

"Miles!" he called, and his assistant (or sidekick, as they called it in the Hero's League) walked out from where he had been cooking in the kitchen.

"Yes, Captain Hammer." He asked, his voice low and admiring.

"How do you turn this thing off? I can never remember..." Captain Hammer said, trailing off as he looked at the screen in front of him in utter confusion.

"Like this, sir." Miles said reverently, striding over and pushing a button on the side. "I can't say I blame you for not knowing, it's not like I've shown you before more than a hundred times!" He said, before stomping back to the kitchen 'Probably upset over leaving my presence.' Captain Hammer thought to himself, before going into the bathroom to practice his smiles in the mirror some more. This hero stuff was a lot of work.

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*Shakes head* He doesn't even realize that Miles is mocking him, so sad, so sad. He really is a hypocrite. I'm thinking of doing this from other people's point of view as well. Next up – Penny.