Chapter 4—Of Smiles and Pink Sparks
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. The whole world goes to J.K. Rowling as do most of the characters and the song credit goes to The Killers.
A/N: So I have a question, are you more likely to read my author's notes at the top or the bottom? I'm just curious. And, yes, I know there are a few totally cliché moments in this chapter. Oh, and major thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I love you!
Last Chapter...
I want to play Truth or Dare!" Sirius finished happily.
"What the hell. Why not?" Adalyn said.
"I'm in," Remus and Peter chimed at the same time.
James simply nodded.
"I am going to regret this," Lily groaned. "But I'm in too."
"Brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed.
The six teenagers arranged themselves into a circle and sat down on the football field.
"Does it strike anyone else as odd that we're playing truth or dare on a muggle football field?" Adalyn mused.
"Eh, whatever," Sirius waved it off. "I just wanna play. Addy, you're first," he grinned mischievously.
Back to the present we go! *_*_*_*
"Wait!" Lily interjected. Without telling anyone what she was doing, Lily waved her wand in an intricate pattern, first sweeping to the right, a quick turn of the wrist to the left, and finally bringing her wand directly down.
"What did you just do?" Peter asked hesitantly.
"Wait and See!" Lily sang.
The four Marauders exchanged worried looks. Adalyn merely grinned. She'd played Truth or Dare with Lily many times before, therefore she knew what spell Lily just cast, but wasn't about to explain it to the Marauders. They would just have to find out.
"Okay, Addy. Truth or Dare?" Sirius asked, grinning.
"Ah, what the hell, dare," Adalyn declared.
"Addy, you're going to regret this," Lily said worriedly.
"I dare you to serenade Dumbledore at breakfast tomorrow," Sirius laughed.
Adalyn joined in Sirius' laughter. "I can do that. He'll get a kick out of it. Right, okay. Hm... Who shall be the next victim?" Adalyn cackled evilly. After surveying the group, she said, "Jamesie Poo! Truth or Dare?"
James contemplated it for a minute. "Truth. Too lazy to do a Dare."
"Anybody got a good truth for James?" Adalyn asked the rest of the group.
"Oh! I got one!" Sirius grinned mischievously. "Who is Dow?"
James gave his best mate a shocked expression and then promptly sent him a glare, too. "Erm—Dow was the names of one of my mum's horses," James stuttered in response.
Before anyone could say anything, James' pants turned into white skin tight pants with flames going up the side. Lily and Adalyn collapsed into giggles, while the other three Marauders roared with laughter. "You—hehehe—lied!" gasped Lily while she continued to giggle. The girls were laughing so hard that they were crying long after the Marauders stopped.
"Alright," James grumbled. "It wasn't that funny."
"But it was!" shrieked Adalyn.
The four boys stared at the girls as if they weren't human.
"Okay," Lily gasped as she began her method of taking a quick succession of short shallow breaths, while waving her hands near her face. After a moment, she stopped laughing enough so that she could speak. "You remember that spell I cast before the game started?"
The Marauders all nodded their heads slowly.
"Well, it's based off of a muggle kids' rhyme that goes 'Liar, Liar, pants on fire.' And seeing as I grew up with muggles and Addy is obsessed with their sayings, the spell is especially hilarious to us. That, and it's always hilarious when we see a guy in white skin tight pants," Lily smirked.
The Marauders' jaws simultaneously dropped in response to Lily's comment.
"Oi, Addy! Did you see that?" Lily stage whispered.
"Yeah, I did. It's almost as if—"Adalyn replied, a smirk growing on her face.
"They're the same person!" the two chorused.
"Yup, they definitely are," concluded Lily. "Remember that time, with the-?"
"Oohh, yeah," responded Adalyn. "I totally forgotten about that, but you're totally right!"
"And you're just now realising this? I'm always right!" Lily said, with a fake arrogant air about her.
Throughout the conversation, the Marauders remained silent, watching the utterly bizarre event that was taking place before them.
Finally, Sirius exclaimed, "Will you two put a bloody cap on it?"
The two turned towards the other four, with very good innocent looks on their faces. James, Sirius, and Remus all suddenly got the feeling that there were a lot more to these girls than they thought. And they also knew that they had gotten up to a lot more than anyone gave them credit for.
Lily leaned over to Adalyn and whispered, "He totally stole that from you didn't he?"
"He did!" Adalyn responded indignantly. "Prat," she muttered as she mock-glared at Sirius.
"Oi! Adds, I got another question," Lily whispered again.
"What?"
"Why are we whispering?" Lily smirked.
"Oh, Lily! That is just bad!" Adalyn laughed.
"You know you loved it," she smiled.
"That's true."
"I do actually have a question though," Lily carried on, not paying attention to the Marauders at all.
"What?"
"The Code?"
"Ah, but of course," Adalyn replied with a wink.
Sirius jumped in, eloquently saying, "What the bloody hell are you on about now?"
Lily smirked. "The Code. It's a list of rules that dictates what we can or can't say or do."
"Gee, thanks," James responded dryly, "because that makes all the sense in the world."
Lily scoffed. "Well, now you're the bloody idiot because do you actually think we're going to tell you what is in our Code? It'd be a violation of—"
"Rule number 713," Adalyn added in.
"There's 713 rules?" Remus asked obviously stunned.
"There's a hell of a lot more than that. But that's all we're going to talk about it because I actually want to know who 'Dow' is. James?" Lily smiled.
"You know Padfoot? Lily is right—you're a total wanker," James glared at his best mate.
"What was that for?" Sirius asked, shocked.
"Well, gee, I dunno. Maybe because you asked the question?" he responded sarcastically.
Sirius' mouth formed a perfect O, and there was a brief silence among the group.
James eventually sighed and said, "Dow WAS my favourite stuffed animal as a child. I took her everywhere I went. And, before any of you ask, Dow came from the name Kelly. Long story behind that one. You can ask that as a different question later."
The rest of the group erupted into laughter, while Sirius had a triumphant smirk on his face, and James glared at all of them.
"Okay, moving on!" James said loudly. "Padfoot! Truth or Dare?"
"Dare," he said confidently.
"Goody!" James exclaimed, mischievousness lighting up his eyes. "You get to serenade McGonagall when Addy serenades Dumbledore!"
Sirius roared with laughter. "The look on her face will be priceless!"
The others joined in Sirius' laughter. Lily made a mental note to bring a camera to breakfast the next day.
"Lilybean! You're next! Truth or Dare?" Sirius asked excitedly.
"I'm afraid of any of your dares. Truth," Lily said.
"Yes! I was hoping you'd say that!"
"Uh oh...Now I'm scared," Lily moaned.
"I was going to ask you this earlier in Hogsmede," Sirius began, not noticing Lily's face clouding over. "But you left. So my question is what is this family fortune?"
Lily froze, before jumping into action. "ADALYN ELIZABETH REEVES!" Lily screamed. "HOW DARE YOU TELL THEM ABOUT THAT?" Lily shrieked incredulously.
"Oops?" Adalyn guessed.
"You suck at being my best mate," Lily complained.
"In my defence, I was trying to explain you. And it slipped out," Adalyn explained. "But I only said 'family for—' Sirius must have figured the rest out."
Lily glared at Adalyn. "Well, since you lot already know, I guess I'll explain it. My parents are scientists—which are sort of like Muggle healers. Anyway, my Dad is also a doctor, which really is a muggle healer, and he started a company with some of the people he works with. The company was designed to research and create more effective ways of scanning someone's heart and crafting more effective medicine for those who have horrible diseases. Bottom line, the company did really well and now earns about 10 million pounds a year, divided among the four of them. So my Dad earns about 2.5 million pounds a year, on top of his normal salary," Lily explained sheepishly.
"Damn..." Sirius said slowly.
James whistled. "That's a lot of money."
"I know it is," Lily scowled. "This is why I didn't tell anyone about it except for Addy. I didn't want people to like me just for my money, and I didn't want them to think I was a rich snob."
"I don't think anyone in this school thinks you're a rich snob," James said.
"Yeah, I know," Lily replied. "And we're going to keep it that way." She sighed. "Moving on, Addy, Truth or Dare?"
"You know too many secrets of mine. Dare," she replied.
"Anyone have a good dare for Addy?" Lily asked. "I'm horrible at coming up with dares."
"I have one!" Sirius exclaimed, as he bounced up and down.
"Okay, shoot."
"I dare you to make out with Avery in the Great Hall at breakfast tomorrow," Sirius grinned wickedly.
"No. Absolutely not. NO FUCKING WAY ," Lily interrupted. "No one can do anything with Avery or Mulciber. I refuse to allow it."
"You won't allow it, eh, Lilybean?" Sirius mocked.
"No. I know things about them that you don't, Sirius. I refuse to let any of my mates anywhere near them."
"Like what?" Sirius taunted.
"I—I don't think I can say. I'd have to explain too much," Lily tried to explain, sending a pleading look towards Adalyn that everyone else missed.
"Dammit, I hate when girls do that," Sirius whined.
"What do you mean, Blackie?" Adalyn asked.
"When girls are like 'I know this secret...But I can't tell you.' Why the hell do they bring it up in the first place?" Sirius ranted.
"Oh, really? Do you really hate it that much?" Lily asked coldly.
"Yes! It's bloody annoying!" Sirius continued to whine, completely unaware of Lily's manner.
Lily face contorted in anger. Her eyes narrowed into slits, and she stood up, moving over towards Sirius. "You want to know that badly, do you?" she asked, her voice dangerously quiet.
"Yes!" Sirius complained.
"Fine. Sirius, let's explain it then, shall we? Oh, yeah. It starts with them being bloody MINI DEATH EATERS! And then it goes all the way to them knowing about Carter Jones, which means he's probably linked to Voldemort, which probably means I brought old Voldy to me two summers ago! Yes, I know those two EXTREMELY well. We've had plenty of BLOODY fantastic conversations," Lily ranted sarcastically.
Sirius' expression was pure shock, to say the least. The other three Marauders' expressions were no different. Adalyn looked mildly surprised that Lily would so openly tell the four boys about her brutal summer after 5th year.
When everyone regained their consciousness, they looked up to find Lily, only to discover that she was no longer there and the Room of Requirement turned into a boring cinder block wall room.
"Um...What the hell just happened?" Sirius finally said after a few moments.
"Well, Blackie," Adalyn began, slightly miffed. "Your ranting made Lily pretty pissed off, and you didn't realize it when she was about to explode, so you pushed her a bit more. She eventually did explode, which left you with a hell of a lot of information about Lily's shitty summer. And Lils is probably trying to slit her wrists right now because of what you made her remember!" she finished, shrieking.
"Woah, Addy, chill out. We have to think about this rationally. Is Lily really slitting her wrists? Or was that just another Addy figure of speech?" Remus asked, taking control of the situation.
"Nah, I'm just being overdramatic," Adalyn sighed.
"Okay, good. We don't have to worry about Lily dying quite yet," Remus slightly smiled.
Everyone else just rolled their eyes.
"Right, next major issue. Voldemort attacked Lily?" Remus asked Adalyn incredulously.
"Yeah, it's what made her summer so brutal," Adalyn sighed. "I'm not really sure how much I'm supposed to tell you other than Sirius you're going to die. Just thought you oughta know," she finished lightly.
"Other than a death from you, why else am I going to die?" Sirius asked.
"Well, you royally pissed off Lils, making her tell you four one of her darkest secrets. She's either going to make your life living hell, or she's going to try and pretend it never happened," Adalyn explained.
"I hope it's the second one. I'm gunna die if it's the first one," Sirius replied, half scared.
"I'm not so sure you want the second one, either. Lils is very good at making everyone believe something never happened," Adalyn informed Sirius.
"Moony! Help! I don't wanna die!" Sirius yelped.
"Oh, hush, Padfoot. You won't die. Just apologize to Lily," Remus mutter, still distracted about Lily.
"Hey, James...You okay?" Adalyn asked, noticing James hadn't said anything about Lily yet.
James didn't respond, too wrapped up in his thoughts. How the hell can one person be wrapped up in so much drama? He wondered to himself incredulously. There's all the drama with Snape and Callie, making her loose two different close mates. And now this? How the hell does she wake up every morning? Or even put one foot in front of another? He voiced his thoughts.
"Honestly, James? I have no idea. Lils is a strong person, she's stronger than any of us," Adalyn replied honestly.
"Mmm..." James said distractedly. Another thought occurred to him: I don't think Addy knows the whole story. I mean, yeah, facing Voldemort sucks, but it's not enough to make Lils as skittish as she is. It wouldn't explain why she can't deal with people putting their hands near her face. Or about the nickname 'Lils.' There are some major pieces of this story missing. James craved to know what those missing pieces were. However, more than anything, he wanted to simply help Lily. It wasn't easy for him to watch someone he cared for so much be hurt so badly. "Say, Addy. Do you think I could go find Lily? Or should I wait and let her cool off a little?" James asked.
"Go, James," Adalyn said gently. "She needs someone who will comfort her."
James nodded, completely missing the compliment Adalyn had just given him. He was entirely focused on finding Lily.
After a moment's silence, Remus asked "Do you guys ever notice the pattern we seem to be following?"
"Yeah, I do," Adalyn sighed.
"What pattern?" Sirius asked clueless.
"Lily gets upset; we find out something new about her; terrified, she leaves; Prongs gets all bothered that he doesn't know whatever we all just learned and leaves; and then the four of us are always left," Remus explained.
"We're getting predictable!" Sirius cried dramatically.
Adalyn giggled, while Remus rolled his eyes. Peter laughed, trying to impress Sirius.
Lily raced to the Head's common room, her heart pounding in her ears, while flashes of that summer kept blurring her vision. Gasping, she gave Lady Morgana the password before scampering into the safety of the common room.
"GOD DAMMIT! FUCK HIM! HE'S A SHITFACE! I HATE HIS FUCKING GUTS! WHAT A BLOODY WANKER!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs. "He's taking over my life again! Even when I try to take control back, him and HIS DAMN FACE screw it all up again." One fat tear rolled down Lily's broken face and landed with a splash on the ground. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face. It was all she could do to reach her favourite chair and curl up into a ball before sobbing her heart out. She cried because she gave one of her secrets away, she cried to grieve, and she cried because of him. It was the first time in a long while that Lily truly allowed herself to properly think about that summer.
James jogged towards the Head's common room, praying to Merlin that Lily was there, and not hidden somewhere else in the vast Hogwarts.
"Spero," he gasped towards the portrait of Lady Morgana.
"What is it with you two tonight?" Lady Morgana cried out.
"How do you mean?" James asked, startled.
"Well you both have come here, running, and gasping the password. I should warn you that she's in a right state," Lady Morgana explained.
James' face drained of colour. "Oh, bloody hell. Can you let me in?"
As the portrait swung open, James dashed in, only to skid to a halt. Lily's broken form nearly shattered his heart. Her small body was curled up into a ball, and her chest was heaving with sobs. James hesitantly made his way over towards her, not really sure what to do.
"Lily?" he asked softly.
Lily didn't have to raise her head to know who uttered her name; she'd know that voice anywhere. "Oh, bloody hell," she grumbled.
James froze. Does my presence bug her that much? He wondered to himself.
"Such a pathetic wimp...can't even talk about it without breaking down..." she muttered to herself. "What they must think of me..."
"Lily?" James asked again, not entirely sure she knew he was there.
She lifted her head and looked emptily towards James. He couldn't think of any other way to describe her other than broken. Her normally vivacious emerald green eyes were empty. They seemed to go on for miles without any emotion. Lily was still curled up in a ball; her arms wrapped around her knees, as if they were the only things holding her together.
James was at a lost for what to do and say. He knew there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say to take away her pain away. He wished Adalyn was here. Adalyn always knew what to do. But it was only James and Lily. He walked around to the back of her chair and softly touched her shoulders. He began slowly massaging her shoulders. At first, she tensed at his touch, as if she was afraid. But the longer James' fingers worked against her tense muscles, the more relaxed Lily became. Eventually she leaned into his comfort.
"You know it's going to be okay, right?" James asked, softly.
"It's not," she said, shaking her head. "It's all my fault. It's always my fault. If I hadn't—then—he—sur—"she broke off brokenly.
"Lily, can I ask you a question?" James asked hesitantly.
"You can, but I won't guarantee I'll answer it," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
"What really happened? I know there's more to it than what you told us. I don't think you told even Addy the whole story," James asked. He knew he was treading a very fine line with Lily.
Lily smiled bittersweetly. "You really are quite smart, James. I never gave you enough credit. Yes, there is more to the story. And yes, you're right; I haven't told Addy the whole story. But you mustn't tell her that, she'd be heartbroken if she knew. Not tonight, though. I know you want to know the whole story, and I've been told time and time again to confide in someone. However, tonight, as it is, holds enough emotional baggage. I don't want to add any more to it."
James was slightly bewildered for a moment. He didn't understand the last part of Lily's short monologue. What did she mean by "tonight holds enough emotional baggage?" Mentally sighing, James decided to leave that question for later; he knew he wasn't going to get an answer tonight. Instead, he asked, "How do you plan to deal with Addy when she does find out the whole story?"
Lily looked torn. "I don't know. I can picture her reaction in my head, and it scares the hell out of me."
"Why don't you just tell her now? That way, it will be over sooner rather than later?" James asked, confused.
"Because I hate bloody sympathy. If you had been told 'I'm so sorry!' as my times as I have, then you would hate it, too," she replied darkly.
"Why? People are only trying to show you how much they care," James softly said.
"Yeah, sure, they care. That's great. It's bloody fantastic!" Lily said sarcastically. "But they have no idea what it actually feels like. They have no idea what it's like when you lose your best mate, twice. It's like having your whole world ripped away from you. You don't know how to put one foot in front of the other without your best mate by your side, let alone how to go anywhere. The world's a scary place when you don't have your best mate," Lily sadly explained. "And then to go through what I went through? It's hell, James. I don't know if you've put this together yet—oh, who am I kidding you probably have—but I'll say it anyways. When I had to face Voldemort, for the first time ever in my life, I didn't have my best mate next to me. I'm not talking about Addy, or even my sister. I'm talking about Severus. The end of 5th year, I lost my best mate. And that summer held some of the hardest moments in my life."
James' mouth formed a perfect O. Lily spoke with so much wisdom, wisdom that she shouldn't have had for many more years. "Why would Snape be there next to you while you were facing Voldemort? Or do you mean like in spirit-type support?" he asked.
"James," Lily began softly. "He lives just down the street from me. If our friendship hadn't ended, he would have been there, fighting with me. But, fate's a bitch. So he ended up fighting against me. Trying to send bloody Avada Kedavras at me. It's ironic isn't it? My old best mate trying to kill me," Lily laughed hollowly.
His face paled. "Why would Snape try to kill you?" James asked, dreading the answer he already knew.
"Come on, James. I know you're not this naive. Why do you think?" Lily replied.
"He's a Death Eater, isn't he?" James asked.
Lily sighed. "Yes, he is."
There was a moment's pause between the two. Each was lost in his own thoughts.
"Bloody hell, Lily!" James suddenly yelled.
Lily jumped, frightened.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," James said regretfully.
"Don't worry about it. I'll eventually get used to loud sounds again. What was the exclamation for, though?"
"How the hell do you deal with it all?" James asked.
"You learn," Lily shrugged. "The first major event happens, and you learn how to get out of bed in the morning. Then you learn how to put one foot in front of the other. Eventually, you learn how to be happy. Then the next major event happens, and you repeat the process. Life is nothing more than a circle."
"Bloody hell, Lily. You sound like Dumbledore," James said in disbelief.
"Well I should," Lily grinned. "I stole that from him."
James laughed. Her mischievous sprit never ceased to amaze him. "Well, I dunno about you, but I'm completely zonked after today. I'm going to get some sleep. You should think about it, too."
"Yeah, I'll probably head to bed in a minute, too."
"Oh, and Lily? If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I'll do whatever you need, okay?" James offered.
"Thanks, James," Lily smiled sincerely.
As he closed his door for the night, he left Lily to her thoughts, which strangely didn't drift towards that horrible summer, but instead, they danced around James. Lily marvelled at just how good of a friend James was. She fell asleep that night in her chair, staring into the flames, and thinking about James.
After the Truth or Dare game, Sirius was a bit skittish around Lily for a couple weeks. He was terrified that she was going to murder him for what he made her reveal. Lily surprised all of them: she didn't do what Adalyn thought she was going to do. She simply let it be. Lily realised Sirius had no way of knowing about her bad relationship with Avery and Mulciber.
The more the leaves on the trees next to the lake changed, the more Lily realized exactly how much had changed since the beginning of the year. The biggest change was no longer having Callie as a mate. And because Alice was Callie's best mate, it meant that Lily and Alice rarely got a chance to see each other. Lily missed both of them dearly, but knew going down the dark and twisty road of being Callie's mate again was just a bad idea. She could only hope that Lily and Alice could once again be mates. On the brighter side of things, Adalyn and Lily had been hanging out with the Marauders more and more. So much so, that it became almost rare to see the group not together. Most of the students across Hogwarts began to assume where there was one, the rest would soon follow.
To say that Lily was in a bad mood today would be an understatement. Lily wanted nothing more than to go back to her dorm, pull on a hoodie, and simply be angry at the world. Alas, she could not do this because she was still walking back from Ancient Runes, and Addy as well as the Marauders would most likely be in the Head's Common Room. Sighing, Lily continued her trek. Her walk back from Ancient Runes was always quiet, seeing as none of her friends took the lesson with her; they all found the subject to be quite dull. To be honest, Lily didn't adore the subject, but she took it none the less. She did, however, enjoy the walk back to her dormitory. It always gave her the chance to think.
Today, Lily's mind was whirling with anger. It seemed nothing was going right today.
"Oi! LILY!" a voice from behind her yelled.
"What do you want?" Lily yelled over her shoulder.
"I only wanted to say hi," the voice grumbled.
Lily turned around to see James. She gave him a brief fake smile and continued towards the dorms.
"Lily!" James called again. "Bloody hell! Why do I always end up chasing you?"
"Maybe eventually you'll get the message," Lily growled.
"What the hell, Lily?" James yelled.
Lily's back resolutely remained facing him.
"You know what? Fine! I'm done with you treating me like shit! When you want to be friends, we're friends. When you want to talk, we talk. When you want to go back to treating me like shit, you do so! Bloody hell, Lily! I can't do this anymore! I'm done with all of your waffling! Pick a path and stick to it!" James yelled, completely frustrated. He turned around and walked away from Lily.
Lily hadn't moved throughout James' speech. She remained in the same spot once James left. The only difference was the tears streaming down her anguished face. That was just the cherry on top of her day. Not only had everything else gone wrong, but now she had gotten in a fight with James. After a moment, Lily gathered herself and headed to the Head's common room.
She was not normally the person to wallow in self-pity for Lily despised pity more than anything in the whole world. Today, however, was different. She pulled her Harvard hoodie out of her closest and crawled into her bed. Pulling her muggle MP3 player off her nightstand, Lily lost herself in the music. Normally, the lyrics would consume her, and Lily would be transported to the artist's world. Not today. Today, Lily just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened during her day.
Flashback
Lily danced into Potions, her second lesson of the day. The day had begun well: there was hot chocolate at breakfast, Lily's favourite drink in the whole world. Advanced Charms hadn't been that bad either, seeing as Flitwick just lectured for the whole period. As she sat down at her normal desk, she began pulling her things out of her bag: a quill, ink, and two sheets of parchment. One sheet of parchment was half-filled with notes, while the other was full of doodles, random song lyrics, as well as a number of other things. Lily mindlessly doodled until the lesson began.
"Okay!" Slughorn boomed. "Today we are going to talk about the Fundamental Theorem of Potion Making. Now, due to the name, it seems like this is something you should have learned in first year," he chuckled. "But the theorem isn't as important as it seems. It's simply named this because several people discovered this so it is difficult to name the theorem after one person. Now these people include—"
Slughorn was interrupted as Callie banged into the dungeon, a full ten minutes late to the lesson. Callie, who Lily noticed had little to no respect for authority or rules, was wearing a bright pink shirt and a tiara instead of the usual uniform worn by Hogwarts students. Lily rolled her eyes. How could she forget? Today was Callie's birthday. And, Callie being Callie decided she was the greatest person to ever walk the earth and therefore didn't need to pay attention to the rules of Hogwarts. For Merlin's sake! Lily thought to herself. It's as if she's turning 2, not 18! Rolling her eyes, Lily resumed her doodling.
Slughorn's booming voice seeped through her wall of silence when she heard him say, "Now Miss Collinwood, seeing as you are a good friend of Miss Evans, I shall not punish you. But perhaps you could learn a few lessons from her in regards to rules and tardiness."
Lily froze. He did not just say that. He did not just say that, Lily repeated over and over to herself. Not only did he miss the fact that the two weren't mates anymore, but he also broadcasted the fact that was interpreted by many as Lily Evans being a prude. She audibly sighed. If she could've, she would've left the lesson right then and there and hidden for the rest of the day. But, her conscience had too much of a say, so Lily remained in the lesson, quietly doodling and taking notes. It was a fairly normal lesson, until there were about 30 minutes left in the period, when Callie and Slughorn got in an argument over whether or not Sally Evermore had ever published an article titled "Steal this Article." After a short discussion, Mary Matthews, another 7th year Gryffindor girl, was sent to the library to ask Madam Prince about it. After all, Madam Prince knew nearly everything that had ever been published. Slughorn continued on with his lesson but paused when Mary Matthews returned.
"It was written by Kathy Chavez," Mary announced.
"There are two!" insisted Callie. "I know there are!"
Everyone in the class rolled their eyes. This was just another classic example of Callie not being able to admit when she's wrong.
"I asked Madam Prince about that, too, just to double check," Mary replied. "But, Sally Evermore never wrote anything called 'Steal this Article.' Sorry, Callie."
"But she did! It was leaked, so it was never published due to copyright reasons!" Callie argued.
Lily gripped her quill tighter. Reaching for her doodle parchment, she continually wrote 'STFU.' If anyone chanced a look at the parchment, they wouldn't know what Lily meant, but she knew it meant 'Shut the fuck up!'
Even Slughorn rolled his eyes at Callie's comment, but before he could respond, the bell rang, ending the lesson. Lily swiftly collected her things and swept out of the classroom. These days, Callie annoyed her too much, and Lily could barely stand to be in the same room as her for longer than required.
Not paying attention to where she was going, Lily slammed into someone. Looking up, she saw it was James.
"Sorry," Lily muttered, as she turned to walk away.
"Uh uh. Not so fast, Lily," James smiled. "We're friends now, remember? You can't avoid me like the plague anymore!"
"You picked that up from Addy, didn't you?" Lily smirked.
"Perhaps..."
"Either way, bye, James," Lily sighed.
"Lily! Wait!" James called.
"What, James?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked kinda pissed off during Potions," James replied, concerned.
"I'll be fine," Lily replied shortly, looking anywhere but James' face.
"Lily, come on. I know you're lying," James pleaded.
"Don't worry about me, James. Go find the Marauders and Addy. I need sometime alone."
"Just because you're getting away this time doesn't mean you're free," James insisted. "I'll find you later."
"Bye, James," Lily waved, as she headed towards the library.
End of Flashback
"Bloody buggering hell," Lily exclaimed to herself. James was just coming to make sure she was alright, she realised. "I am such a fucking idiot," she mumbled aloud.
Sighing, she knew what she had to do. Rolling out of bed, she pulled herself together to go find James. When she opened her door, music came floating up the stairs.
James sat in the middle of the floor, near Lily's favourite corner. He had an electric guitar in his lap, with sheet music in front of him. His back was to the fire, and every time he looked up, he saw the Quidditch Pitch outside the window. James decided to take a leaf out of Lily's book and use his music to wash his problems away. Strumming a few chords, he began to sing:
On the corner of main street Can you read my mind? I never really gave up on Can you read my mind? The good old days, the honest man; Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind
Just tryin' to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind
Can you read my mind?
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?
The restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees;
A broken wrist and a paid trapeze
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go, can you read my mind?
Lily fought hard to remain silent. After all of the times she sat in that very corner, playing guitar, she never realised that there were two right handed guitars. And she never in a million years even guessed that James played guitar. Trying hard to make sure her concentration didn't waver, Lily crept silently down the steps, watching James play all the while. However, she paused at the last bend in the staircase, making sure James couldn't see her. She sat down on the grey stone steps and curled her feet underneath her as she listened to James sing. Its funny how you just break down Can you read my mind? The teenage queen, the loaded gun; Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind
Waitin' on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soakin' my spine
Can you read my mind?
The drop dead dream, the Chosen One
A southern drawl, a world unseen;
A city wall and a trampoline
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you jump
Tell me what you find when you read my mind
Lily felt something stirring inside her stomach but couldn't quite place what it was.
Slippin in my faith until I fall She said I don't mind, if you don't mind Put your back on me The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun
You never returned that call
Woman, open the door, don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
When you read my mind
James finished the song with one last chord, allowing the sound to resonate throughout the common room. Before he could've looked up, Lily dashed back up to her room and closed the door silently. She slid down the wall, winding up in a ball breathing heavily. She'd meant to go apologize to James, and then what happened? To be honest, Lily couldn't even explain it to herself.
A few days passed and it became extremely apparent that something was wrong with Lily and James. James was quieter than usual, where as Lily walked around with an almost confused look upon her face. The most obvious clue was that the group no longer went nearly everywhere together.
"Prongs, what the bloody hell happened between you two?" Sirius exclaimed one morning in the Great Hall. "You two are just downright depressing!"
"I'm sorry that I'm not bubbly enough for you, Padfoot," James responded sarcastically.
"Sweet Merlin," Sirius groaned. "Why not just apologize?"
"Because this time I know I'm right. I didn't do anything wrong," James replied cryptically.
Meanwhile, a short ways down the table, Adalyn was having the same conversation with Lily.
"Marvellous Merlin, child! Just apologize already!" Adalyn exclaimed. "It's really not that hard, contrary to popular belief."
A true look of confusion passed over Lily's face as she said, "You don't get it. Hell, even I don't get it, and it's my brain!"
Adalyn simply shot her a look that plainly said, "What in Merlin's name are you on about?" But she didn't respond to that. Instead, she said, "I've got to go talk to Sirius; I'll see you in Charms."
"Have fun," Lily smirked.
"LILY EVANS!" Adalyn yelled. "YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! You are absolutely horrible."
"Who, me?" Lily responded innocently. "I didn't say anything. You just interpreted it that way."
"I've changed my mind. You are not just horrible, you are also despicable."
"You know you love me!" Lily called after her as Adalyn left to talk to Sirius.
"Oh, Blackie," Adalyn sang as she skipped over to the Marauders.
"This doesn't sound like its gunna be good," Sirius moaned.
"Jamie, Remmy, and Petey: Can I steal Blackie here?" Adalyn asked with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Oi! Why do I have to be Jamie?" James complained. "That's a girl's name!"
Adalyn rolled her eyes, and then she pointed at Lily. "Lily." She pointed at herself, "Addy." She pointed at Sirius, "Blackie." She pointed at Remus, "Remmy." She pointed at Peter, "Petey." Finally, she pointed at James, "Jamie. See the pattern?"
James only grumbled in response.
"Can it, you," Adalyn laughed. "I guess you could be Potty, if you wanted to," she smirked.
James looked utterly torn. "I guess I'll have to stick with Jamie," he sighed in defeat.
Adalyn only laughed at his fake-pouty face. "Anyways, I really do need to talk to Blackie."
"Go ahead," he replied.
"Bloody buggering hell," Adalyn sighed. "You lot make this really difficult. But I need to talk to Blackie. Alone."
Instantly, Adalyn got the reaction she'd been dreading: the four boys exchanged knowing grins.
She groaned aloud. "Get your minds out of the gutter, you prats!"
Remus laughed. "Your sayings just keep getting better and better, Addy."
"Why thank you, kind sir. Blackie," she said as she grabbed his arm. "Let's go!"
James laughed and made a whipping sound loud enough for Sirius to hear as he and Addy left the Great Hall. Remus and Peter roared with laughter, while Sirius glared at James.
Lily watched the whole exchange with a slight smile on her face. What she wouldn't give to be over there, laughing with Remus and Peter. And the worst part was she knew she could fix all of it in a split second, with one small conversation. And for some reason, unbeknownst to Lily, she couldn't bring herself to go talk to James. It was if there was a wall that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure out a way to knock it down. Lily sat there for some time, just thinking, before she heard the bell and headed off to Charms.
Adalyn dragged Sirius towards an empty classroom without saying a word. She threw him into the room and locked the door behind her.
Sirius was slightly shocked, to say the least. "Addy, what the hell is going on? Because as far as I know, you just dragged Hogwarts' most eligible bachelor into an empty classroom and locked the door."
Adalyn groaned. "Galloping Gargoyles, Sirius! It's nothing like that! Get your mind out of the gutter!"
"Galloping Gargoyles?" Sirius asked. "Did you get that from Lily?"
"Surprisingly, no," Adalyn replied.
Sirius sent her a questioning look.
She grinned. "Hagrid."
He laughed before saying, "What's really going on, then?"
"If you would stop asking questions for five minutes I would tell you," she growled in response.
"Okay, okay. Continue on, my dear maiden," Sirius responded sarcastically.
Adalyn sent him a sharp glare before saying, "We have to fix Lily and James."
"No."
"Excuse me?" Adalyn replied, genuinely shocked.
"You heard me."
"And why not?" she demanded.
"No because it's their relationship, not ours. We need to stop meddling. No because they need to learn how to make up on their own. No because James seems to think he doesn't need to apologise this time, so let it be different. No because all we seem to ever talk about is them. Why don't we ever talk about anything else?"
Completely and utterly speechless, Adalyn stood there for a moment processing what Sirius had just said. Finally she said, "We do talk about other things."
"Like what?" Sirius replied, arching his brow.
"Like...lessons...and Remus and Peter," Adalyn stuttered, grasping for possible answers.
"You and I both know that is complete bullshit. I'm sorry, but lessons don't count. And Remus and Peter are just more examples of us talking about nothing but other people," Sirius spat.
Adalyn blinked. "Fine," she replied coolly. "If that's how you want it..." she trailed off as she walked out the door and towards Charms.
Sirius never showed up to Charms or to Transfiguration. He only resurfaced at lunch but only because he was physically dragged into the Great Hall by the other Marauders.
"What the hell happened?" Remus asked, completely bewildered.
"Me and Addy got in a fight," he growled in response.
"Am I allowed to ask what it was about?" James prodded.
"You can," Sirius replied shortly. There was a pregnant pause before Sirius said, "What? Do you really think I'm going to tell you what some chick and I fought about?"
James made a motion for Sirius to stop talking, but he kept going.
"I mean really. She's just some chick who's like all of the other fucked up girls in this place. She doesn't give a damn about half the people around her."
"Well, Sirius. If I'm some chick then I guess I won't bother apologising to you," Adalyn said quietly from behind him.
Next, a series of events happened so fast, it was nearly impossible to tell what happened in what order. Sirius spun around to see Adalyn staring him down, and his jaw fell open. Lily appeared suddenly, waved her wand in a complicated motion, sending out pink sparks. She drew her left hand back and slapped Sirius full across the face, leaving a bright red handprint. "Never, ever, call my best friend 'some chick,'" she hissed before waving her wand again and the pink sparks appeared out of thin air and went back into her wand.
By the time everyone processed what happened, Lily and Adalyn were gone, nowhere to be seen.
"What in the fuck just happened?" Sirius asked.
"Well, Padfoot," Remus sighed. "I would say you insulted Addy, which royally pissed Lily off. Do I need to remind you that those two are probably the only two Hogwarts girls who can make your life living hell should you piss them off?"
Sirius groaned. "Why didn't anyone tell me she was right there?"
"I tried to, mate," James shrugged. "But you didn't want to listen."
"This day sucks," he complained, banging his head on the table repeatedly.
The next period went by quickly. Even though all six had a free period, they rarely caught a glimpse of each other. James and Sirius were out on the Quidditch Pitch, flying and thinking about how much the day sucked. Remus could be found in the library, getting ahead on homework because the day after the next day was the full moon. Adalyn could be found in the kitchens, stuffing her face with chocolate. However, Lily and Peter were nowhere to be seen.
The bell rang indicating the last period was over and the next was about to start. James and Sirius put their brooms in the shed as they headed down towards the dungeons. Adalyn simply walked out of the kitchens and down a corridor to meet Sirius and James outside the Potions classroom. Remus and Peter arrived shortly thereafter, but there was no sight of Lily.
"Where the ruddy hell is she?" Adalyn grumbled.
"Who knows..." James trailed off. And he truly didn't know where she was. He'd checked the map, and she was nowhere to be seen on it. He quietly informed the other boys of this.
"Bloody hell, mate," Sirius eloquently sighed.
"That means she's either found a part of this castle we haven't, or she's off grounds," murmured Remus.
"It's probably the latter," Peter jumped in, looking rather proud of himself. "We know every single nook and cranny in this place."
Just then, the door opened, and they all filed in, their thoughts still worried about Lily. As per usual, Adalyn sat down in her normal spot, only to look left and see Lily. "Where the ruddy hell were you?" she hissed.
"Good Afternoon, class," Slughorn boomed.
Lily simply shook her head.
"Good Afternoon, Professor Slughorn," the class chorused back.
"Today, we are going to talk about antidotes. I know we learned a bit about them last year, but I think it's time we go more in depth about them. Now, as a reminder, there are 7 different types of antidotes..." Slughorn began.
(A/N: This is about to get very confusing, I think. Adalyn writes like this. Lily writes like this. James writes like this. Sirius writes like this. And Remus writes like this. I apologise in advance if this gets confusing!)
Adalyn slipped Lily a note: Seriously, WHERETHE RUDDY HELL WERE YOU?
Lily rolled her eyes. Marvellous Merlin! Calm down, will you? I'm in one piece, I'm alive, and I'm relatively healthy. You should be grateful for that.
"Miss Evans, what is the most common and simplest antidote?" Slughorn asked. It was obvious he didn't think she was paying attention.
"A Bezoar, sir. It will fight most common poisons but will not fight deadly ones. It is the easiest antidote to use because all one has to do is shove the stone down the throat of the person who was poisons. It is the most common because it is a stone that is found in the stomach of a goat, a relatively common animal," Lily responded, sending Slughorn a smile that was reserved for adults and made her look angelic.
"Well done!" Slughorn boomed. "10 points to Gryffindor!"
That still doesn't answer my question... Adalyn slide over to Lily.
And I won't answer your question. I was busy. I was taking things that needed to be taken care of.
You are completely and utterly impossible, you know that?
You love me for it! Lily drew a heart for extra measure.
Adalyn merely rolled her eyes in response.
Another note landed in front of Lily. The Marauders would also like to know where you were.
Go away. If Addy's not getting an answer, then neither are you. Lily wrote back. To Adalyn, she wrote, We need to have a girl talk. There is a lot we need to talk about.
Like where you've been?
Like what the hell happened between you and Sirius.
Like what happened between you and James.
Bugger. I don't have a response to that one. Lily drew a frowny face.
Why not, Lilyflower? A note appeared again.
Because you just called me Lilyflower. She retorted in response.
Haha! I win! Adalyn passed the note back to Lily.
But that's not a fair answer! The note complained.
Too damn, bad. I will tell you lot the same thing I told Addy: I am fine. I am in one piece, I'm relatively healthy, and I'm alive. That's something to be grateful for. Lily flicked the note back to the Marauders. To Adalyn she wrote, This time! I always win!
Except for just now...
Oi! Quit poking holes in my logic!
It has to be logic for me to poke holes in... *smirks*
NOT FAIR!
Behind the girls, James was confused by Lily's last note. Sure, those were all things to be grateful for, but it isn't something a 17-year-old girl would typically think about, let alone day. James passed the note onto Sirius, adding What do you make of it?
Honestly, mate? I have no idea. Ask Moony. He's supposed to be the smart one.
James flicked the note over to Remus.
Not something a happy 17-year-old girl would say. Something's definitely wrong.
Before James could respond, the bell rang.
"Now I want a foot and a half on the different types of antidotes, due Thursday!" Slughorn announced.
The entire class groaned. Everyone began filing out, and when Adalyn look up, Lily was gone again.
"Dammit!" Adalyn swore, causing the Marauders to look at her. "She's gone again!" she explained.
"That girl is just too damn good at hiding," Sirius muttered.
"Truer words were never spoken," Adalyn offered in reply.
"You and your sayings," Remus shook his head.
Adalyn smiled. "You know you love it!"
"Can we please focus on the issue at hand here?" James said loudly as the five exited the Potions classroom.
"What did Lily tell you in the note?" Adalyn asked.
"How did you see that?" Sirius exclaimed.
"I've been passing notes with Lily for seven years, Blackie. I can always tell when people are passing notes," Adalyn rolled her eyes.
Sirius only grumbled in response.
"Addy, she said something about how we should be grateful she's alive and healthy," James said, worried.
"Yeah, I got the same response," Adalyn groaned.
"So that begs the question, what the bloody hell is wrong with Lily?"
A/N: I'm not too sure about this chapter. There's an awful lot of fighting. I dunno. What do you think? Let me know in a review! Please?