Sometimes, I don't even have to turn around to know he's walking toward me. The prickle on the back of my neck and the sudden chill in the air are enough. I wonder often how such a beautiful girl could be so in love with him. He terrifies me without ever having to try. I can't help but try to figure out just why he keeps acting like he's trying to be kind. I can't figure out whether he thinks this is what he's supposed to act like. I mean, he HAS been alone for a very long time. Maybe he just hasn't figured out what being nice really means. He might even think this IS nice. The marring of my back, the torture he's put me through, does he think maybe, it's how people are supposed to be treated? The only role model he ever had growing up was General Winter, right? Should I try talking to him about it?

Oh God… I trembled just now, didn't I? How can I help it, with him breathing down my neck like that? How can he terrify a Teutonic Knight so easily? How does he keep me doing all this housework and all those nights in his room. I've never felt so cold as when he's by my side. It's not as if I can ever sleep in his bed. I would freeze to death before waking.

Jesus, those hands on my sides… Did he just have them in the snow? I can't stop shivering. And now… I know what he wants… Should I give it to him? Or am I going to be forced again? When I try to fight him, it only hurts more. I'll turn now, put my arms around that animated ice sculpture, and kiss those frozen lips. I can't take much more pain.

Sometimes, even when I don't make myself known, I know he knows I'm watching him. It's thrilling. I know he loves me. I can't help but watch him as he stands there, washing my dishes. Every time I see him, I can hear those beautiful screams and taste the blood that runs from him. It must have taken him until me to realize that there are real men out there, not just that little Pole. He's so much fun to watch as new cuts appear on his back, the blood dripping down that soft flesh, and you just know it's going to be a new scar to add to his collection. He likes it. It's something he never got from that Polska, and those Brothers of his. I could blame it on the dish soap, but I know that intoxicating scent belongs to him. How could I help but breathe that scent up close?

He trembled just now. He does that when he wants me. Sometimes I wonder how I can turn on a Teutonic Knight so easily. But mostly I just thank the Pole for being so different. He's my only real competition, and I know I'm bigger. I can't wait for tonight when he's sleeping beside me, shivering with happiness. I've never felt so warm as when he's by my side. I'm starting to get used to him being in my bed. I can't just leave him trembling like this. I'll touch him, at least.

He's shivering. He must want to be with me badly. I know he wants it, that's why he's shaking so much. And just knowing that… makes me want him too. Now the only question is does he want it sweet and deep, or does he want to play our fun little game? He's turning around, it's the answer to my question. He's hugging me… kissing me… and it's now that I know, that he wants to be intimate tonight.