Edit: I just edited a few things date-wise and changed the author's note a bit.

Author's Note: Alrighty, LxLight on deviantart is holding a contest—Gender Bender. Either L or Light wakes up a girl. *giggles* you have no idea how amazing this is! See, I've had this little plot bunny running around since two days ago, I think, and it's this: Light is a hermaphrodite. It seems highly logical and gives an actual explanation to Mpreg, finally. His parents didn't want him to be found out, and gave him testosterone since childhood, making sure to stunt his female growth.

Just saying, it can work the other way around, too; I have a female friend born as both, w/ her weenie chopped off and hormones taken. Doesn't help her boobs that she's a dancer…At least it doesn't hurt to do the splits! Oh, and she's lesbian, which I thought is quite interesting, when I came up w/ this DN idea…

Anyway, enjoy the morning Light's meds didn't work, reasons you'll see in the fic. I will almost definitely continue this idea, but only this chapter fits the theme for the contest completely.

Warning: Yaoi, hetero, uh…what is it, really? Whatever, reference to lemon. OOC Light and L, sadly. Oh, and this is highly illogical. With Light's condition, he wouldn't turn into a woman overnight, but over the course of a few months, probably. …Oh, and Mpreg!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. However, I believe I'm the first person to come up w/ a hermaphrodite ((which, btw, has the name "Aphrodite" in it O.o)) Light. ^-^ I also don't own the song "When a Man Loves a Woman," which was as random as it gets for this fic.

When a Man Loves a Woman

L woke up to his lover lying comfortably on his chest. The night before, he had finally bedded Light Yagami, and was proud. They had been chained together for a month now and both had slowly been falling in love with the other. Well, at least that's what L thought. He wasn't so sure about Light.

Luckily, L knew that whatever Kira was to Light before, mind control or actually him, he had either let go or lost his memories. There was no Kira in Light currently and they could enjoy each other to their…fullest potential.

An ivory hand with long, elegant fingers lifted and started to pet brunet hair. A sigh escaped pale pink lips, tan arms wrapping more tightly around L's chest. Said pillow looked down to his lover's lips, which, though bruised from the previous night, also seemed pinker too.

In fact, Light's whole face was different, almost more feminine. Maybe it was just the lighting, early morning sun peaking through the closed curtains. Or maybe it was because the teen had finally denounced his dominant position, and became a full-on uke. L couldn't understand why it was so important to Light who topped, but he was more naturally suited for bottom anyway, what with his more girl-like build. It was only natural.

But the weirdness didn't stop there. After he noticed the differences in the sleeping boy's face, he looked over the honey locks to Light's back. The sheet covering them only went up to his lower back, modestly covering his ass. But his back…it was more graceful—if that was possible—and what could be seen of his rear was rounder, hips slightly larger. What was going on?

And that's when he felt it. Wait, not it—them. Two lumps pressed against his stomach, where Light's chest was.

"YAAARG!" he screamed, pushing Light off his chest and scrambling to the opposite side of the bed, his back hitting the backboard.

The yell and movement had caused Light, or whoever he—she—it—was to wake up. The person's head lifted with a glare very much like the normal Light's to stare down L. "What the hell was that for? What, everything you said last night was a lie now? Or you don't even remember, do you?" he questioned, angry at L's reaction to waking up.

Wide-eyed, L just shook his head, at a loss for words. He stayed where he was, not understanding anything. Was this another of Kira's damn tricks or something else? Still glaring, Light sat up completely. If it was possible, L's eyes widened even more. This wasn't real; it was inconceivable!

Hanging from Light's chest were two nice, round breasts. They looked to be D-sized at least. Man, wouldn't a straight guy be in heaven right now? Sadly, that wasn't L's case. L's eyes scanned lower to see a slender stomach lead to the hips he had already noticed from the backside. Sheets were pooled around Light's lower half, so he couldn't tell if his…man parts were still there.

Brown eyes squinted slightly, trying to discern whatever his lover was staring at him for. His body did feel different, but he thought it was just sore from the night before. He looked down finally, only to scream much like the one that had woke him up.

"What the hell?! Oh, God, no! No, no, no! This cannot be happening!" he screeched. At least his voice had stayed quite similar, still deeper. His—her?—hands reached up to take hold of the breasts, trying to see if they were real. His reaction was quite different from what L was expecting. He thought there would be more screaming and thinking it was impossible. Instead, he wondered if this hadn't happened before or Light had been expecting it—not wanting it, but expecting it all the same.

Light jumped from the bed, forgoing anything to cover up. L sighed in relief when he saw the dick also connected to the body. But then he tilted his head in confusion…well, more confusion than before.

A screech was heard from the bathroom that Light had run into (okay, that sounded like a girl, but L had heard it come from the boy before, so it was still fine). L followed the other into the bathroom they shared. Inside was a frantic half-man-half-woman staring down at a pill case. Light had always taken a pill every night, his father making sure of it, even when confined. The detective never knew what they were for, but was getting a vague idea right now.

Light whipped around to face L, eyes once again glaring. "You!" he screamed. "You made me forget to take my pill last night!"

"I don't see how this has anything to do with me," L stated calmly. He was still mesmerized by the breasts. So…maybe he wasn't gay? Oh, maybe he just wanted his partner to have a penis, but the rest of the body was fine! He was over thinking instead of listening again.

A slap echoed around the spacious bathroom. "Very girly, Light-kun," L commented, a hand coming up to rub his red cheek.

"Of course it's girly, dammit!" Light responded. "Gah!" He threw his hands up in the air, and then slid down the wall to sit on the floor, head in his hands. L didn't know what to do, so he tried crouching next to the teen, a hand outstretched, about to pet his back, or hold his shoulder, or something. But Light looked up again, tears in his eyes. "You weren't supposed to know…" he said quietly.

L knew what to do then. He sat properly on the ground and reached forward to pull Light into his lap. The brunet let his lover hold him as he cried into his shoulder, breast pressed awkwardly against L's chest. The raven-haired rubbed circles in his back, trying to comfort him.

Finally, when Light had calmed down enough to form coherent sentences, he looked L in the eyes and stated, "I'm a hermaphrodite." Silence. "I was born both a male and a female, with the body parts of both. My dad wanted a boy, so they sewed up my vagina and pumped me with special hormones and testosterone, so I wouldn't become a girl. For some reason, they assumed that I would be straight, and therefore didn't think it necessary to get rid of my other female things…" He laughed nervously at that, pausing to let it all soak in for L.

"There's more, right?" L asked softly after a few minutes.

With a nod, Light continued, "When I was younger, my parents brought me to weekly therapy sessions and hormone injections at the hospital. Once I became old enough, all I needed was a daily pill. I'll probably never come off it either…" He sighed, seeming very tired all of a sudden. "If I don't take it, well, this happens." He gestured to his now-female body and then curled into L's chest again.

L petted Light's hair softly, his fingers combing it slightly. "When Light-kun says they thought he wouldn't be gay…" he began, prompting Light to explain.

With a small smile, Light said, "I still have all the parts needed for having a baby. And there are some defects inside that the doctors said they needn't worry about. Like the fact that…Shit! L, I can get pregnant through butt sex!" He started hyperventilating. "I don't want to be a mom, Ryuzaki!" He grabbed L's shoulders, nails digging into the skin.

"Calm down…shhh…" L tried comforting again, prying Light's hands off his shoulders and hugging him close. After a while, L tried, "The pills don't work as birth control, do they?"

"Of course they don't…" Light mumbled into the crook of L's neck. "I'm supposed to be a guy, remember? A straight son for my parents…" L held him closer, rocking back and forth slightly. A few more minutes passed before Light built up enough courage to ask, "Y-you'll still love me even though I'm a girl, right?"

L replied with a chuckle. "Light-kun is not a girl. He or she is Light-kun. And that's who I fell in love with." They smiled and looked into each other's eyes, leaning forward slightly to kiss. But before they could do so, L suddenly smirked. "Plus," he said, "this just solidifies it. I'm seme and you're uke."

Another slap rang through the bathroom.

Author's Note: Alrighty, here you go. It's official: I'm writing a continuation of this. The next chapter shall be them going to work with the task force. And later there will def be lemons w/ the half-and-half ((isn't that a type of drink or milk or something?)) Light. God, this is hilarious. And…there WILL be Mpreg in later chapters, just to warn you.

So, enjoy! And I hope I get a prize! I'm also going to submit a prize: I'll write a fanfic for a winner! Edit: Didn't win. But the winner's getting a cool fanfic from me. Can't wait to write it!

And like I said, the title is as weird as it gets. Random and interesting though. *wink*