I will not try and justify this long hiatus. Let's just say I'm busy? Excuses, excuses, excuses…

ANYWHOO.

Disclaimer: Don't own SWAC

Chad.

xXx

Glasses at the Mackenzie Falls table clinked professionally against one another as my toast finished lamely and my cast tried to seem totally uninterested in Sonny's own toast. I was still completely appalled at the girl, having tried to one-up Chad Dylan Cooper. But, of course, that girl was Sonny Monroe. And she wasn't going to take crap like that from me or anyone else at the falls.

I hated it.

That's what I told myself over and over as I smiled fakely at my cast and pretended to feel like I still won, even though it was James who should be feeling embarrassed. But I couldn't help the fury that boiled within me as I thought about his hand in hers, his lips on her skin. I felt like lashing out at him, even. But instead I just smiled, pretending I was just angry when I was also full of pitiful shame.

She had looked at someone else. Talked to someone else…the way she had talked to me when we first met.

Of course, it hadn't ended as badly as it had with James. In fact, it had gone incredibly smoothly. And the only reason I talked to the Random in the first place was to put her in her place- make her aware of who I was, who she was, and what we couldn't be. And yet, we were getting closer and closer to what we weren't supposed to be. Secretly.

"Hey," James said, a smirk on his face that wasn't half as attractive as mine. "Looks like we both got rejected."

"Both?" I raised my eyebrows. "I don't think I was making a move on the Random."

"Yeah, but-,"

"Look, James. That's embarrassing what just happened. We can't be seen associating with those losers. They're…well, losers. And you tried to make a move on one of them? Besides, she's trying way too hard."

James seemed a little taken aback by my straightforwardness, but shook it off quickly as he retorted, "You're lying. She might be an enemy and she might be totally off-limits, but she looks incredibly hot. And…boy, do I want-"

"James." I said. My voice was quiet, making the words even more venomous to my own liking. I didn't want to imagine what was about to come out of his mouth. Something hideous, no doubt. "I don't want to hear it."

The only person Sonny wants is me. Me and me only.

"Whatever," He rolled his eyes, blowing the whole thing off as he shoved his fork into his t-bone. "Just tell me this…" His smirk became more pronounced as he leaned toward me as if about to share an incredible secret. "Why did she not get upset when you dissed her like that?"

"Like what?" I asked, honestly confused. "You make no sense." I put a piece of lobster in my mouth and swallowed.

"Remember last time I was here? That one Meal or No Meal chic was so desperate to get your attention. You said one thing to her kind of like what you said to Sonny and she ran out of here crying.

"What did I say?" I asked. "So many girls do that, I can't keep track anymore. Not that I ever did."

He sighed. "You said you weren't interested."

"That's it?"

"Do you know what it means?

I stared at him blankly.

"It means, you idiot- that Sonny didn't care that you said that to her. She didn't care that you would feel sympathetic about someone dating her."

I stared off at the wall with wide eyes, putting my drink down quickly so I wouldn't drop it in surprise and have it spill all over me.

Of course I knew what James was about to say. Over a month ago, when Sonny wasn't in my life and I was still dating like a heartless pig (though I would never admit it aloud, of course) at least two girls every single day would approach me and try to get me to understand they were completely available. Of course I responded in a way that shouldn't be allowed for a guy with a girlfriend for the week. My motive was to get them to all love me, which I succeeded in, so that each time I needed a new girl for any reason-to make another one jealous, publicity, or for my own benefit- I could practically pick them up like they were seated on the shelves at a grocery store. But now…one of them was still resisting my supposedly irresistible charm. My eyes automatically flashed over to Sonny's table to see her on the phone with the pizza guy still.

"Yep," I heard her say. "Yes, Sonny Monroe…Condor Studios commissary please…Thank you so much, Tony, I appreciate it. See ya in a bit!"

Her cast began to cheer her name playfully.

James looked at me again. "Apparently you don't have every single one drooling at your feet."

I didn't look at him, just watched Sonny's face light up at the encouragement from her cast as she sat back down. Zora punched Sonny's arm a little too roughly and I rolled my eyes, noticing her wince. Zora, Nico and Grady walked up to the trash to flaunt as they threw away the sludge they didn't have to eat. I watched as Sonny gave Tawni a look and Tawni gave one back. Don't get me wrong, but I'm not a girl, so I didn't understand their conversation taking place- it just looked like they were throwing different facial expressions at each other and actually understanding one another. Sonny leaned back after a minute of them both looking freaky and sighed.

Then her eyes flashed over to our table. For a moment I thought she was looking at me, the expression on her face looking appalled as she stared, but then I realized her eyes lingered on someone I wished she'd never look at again.

James.

Sonny quickly looked away when she saw the whole Mackenzie Falls table was keeping tabs on her. The others sat down at her table and were still smiling in a way that made them look maniacal.

"Yeah…" James said quickly. "Sonny's obviously not begging for your attention."

"Oh," I scoffed. "Trust me, she is."

It was like that whole internal dilemma hadn't existed.

"Really, Chad. Really." James said, raising his eyebrows.

"Number one: Don't use my lines. Number two: You're blind if you don't see she's totally into me. Number three: Just shut up."

"Hoo-hoo-hoooo!" James sang like an idiot. "Who knew Chad Dylan Cooper was insecure?"

"I'm not!" I denied immediately.

"Prove it. Hurry, before the pizza gets here."

"The Pizza Place is right next to Condor's. He'll be here any second."

As if on cue, a pizza guy walked through the doors and called out a familiar name: "Sonny Monroe?"

"Over he-ere!" She exclaimed in a sing-song voice as she raised her hand to him and waved him over.

He walked over with a professional smile and handed her a pizza.

"Thank you, Tony, for getting here so fast." She smiled and handed him a twenty.

"It's noon on a Monday," He shrugged. "And this is only ten bucks."

She nodded. "You're a good man, Anthony." She gave him a slap on the arm and handed him the bill. "Keep the change."

"Thanks," He said with smile.

"Yup." And she pushed him toward the door. Her eyes flashed to me this time, trying to be sneaky, but quickly looked away when she saw I was flat out staring at her.

James pursed his lips angrily at the scene, and my fist clenched in my hand as I tried to keep from standing up.

"Does she always flirt with every guys she sees?" He grumbled, embarrassed, no doubt, that Sonny had easily conversed with this Anthony character and not James.

My mind recalled Sonny easy-going, flirty tone with the pizza guy, the almost flirt fest with James and the conspicuous glances in my direction. Something in my brain finally clicked, and my heart quickened and my eyes widened as I stared at nothing.

"Only when I'm watching," I whispered to myself.

The realization dawned on me. Of course, of course, of course! My mind flashed back to a dark atmosphere, a girl in my arms as she traced patterns on my skin as we lay together. I recalled her blush. I recalled every reaction I got from every word I said. I had told her I liked her, yes. I had been honest. I remembered the blush and the biting of the lip, the fidgeting and the stuttering. Sonny didn't say she liked me because I said it first or because she liked me as a person, a friend or even a best friend…

Sonny said she liked me because she liked me as more than a friend or even a best friend. She liked me for more than that. And what is one step more than friendship other than…a boyfriend?

The idea confused me. Being Sonny's boyfriend would be…Wow- don't get me wrong, but I always pictured us as more than that. Sonny being my girlfriend- my heart jumped at the thought- didn't seem like enough…it didn't seem intimate enough. And, well, Sonny and I were very intimate with each other.

I couldn't help but shake my head in disbelief as I stared at the table, finally understanding completely.

Sonny wanted me as a boyfriend.

The first thing I felt was the rush. The next the excitement. And after that, the total and utter anxiety I felt for when she might bring it up.

Or should I bring it up? Did I want to go that far with Sonny?

"Here's your chance, dude, she's leaving."

For a second I thought about thanking my conscience aloud, but then I realized it was James as he pushed me our of my chair by my arm. "Go!" He said. "Make her swoon."

"You're right." I straightened my Mackenzie Falls jacket. "I'll finally get it out in the open by getting Sony to admit she already loves me."

"Yeah, whatever, just go."

I let that one slide as I walked out of the commissary, following a sighing Sonny with a piece of pizza in her hand atop a napkin. She gradually slowed, as did I, as she looked at the trashcan on her left in the deserted hallway. I watched from the corner as she let it hover atop the can, but then she shook her head and walked purposefully toward her destination and I followed.

Though I usually wouldn't be caught dead at stage 3, I found myself not caring in the slightest as I followed the gorgeous brunette. Even though I felt wrong doing it, I totally checked her out from behind. But, really, you couldn't blame me. She looked…well, hot. And I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

When she walked into what I assumed was her dressing room, I made sure no one else was in the halls or in the room itself and walked in casually. At the sound of my footsteps Sonny look up from the couch to the mirror and locked eyes with me.

It was weird being in the same room with her, alone, at the place we worked. The place that was keeping us apart for reasons I wished I'd never supported, created. I immediately hated myself for what I'd done and regretted it, wishing I had known Sonny would come along and I would be free to be with her and no one would come between us. The idea of that was what kept me going. I remembered it and let the words run through my mind over and over: Sonny wanted me.

"Hey," She said casually as she immediately stood up to go to her vanity. She blindly motioned to the pizza on the table which was slowly turning cold. "I thought you wouldn't be caught dead at stage three. Want my pizza? I already ate some."

"No you didn't."

I wasn't paying attention to what my voice sounded like, but it must have been off enough for her to turn around and take her eyes off of a blank notebook page as she moved to the side a few steps.

"Um…I did. Are you okay?"

"You don't have to lie to me," I said in a sighing kind of voice. I walked into the room. "It's me. I know everything."

"What do you mean?" She rolled her eyes. "Anyways-,"

"Anyways?" I shot up from my relaxed position. "What do you mean, anyways?"

She laughed in a confused manner. "Chad, you're acting strange. What are you talking about?'

"I don't know. What are you talking about?" I rolled my eyes, knowing we were getting nowhere. "You know what I'm talking about." I stood up, and walked a little closer to her but kept my distance. "You don't have to lie to me about anything, Sonny, because I know you didn't eat anything. Remember, I know everything because you tell me everything."

Sonny looked at me strangely. "Um…what are-,"

"Why did you tell me all those things, Sonny? I thought you did because we were friends, and you trusted me."

"Chad, I do-," She began again, but I cut her off.

"I'm Chad." I shrugged, my words were convincing both of us. I moved closer to her with each word. "Chad, the guy you can trust. Chad, the guy you've been leaning on since you got to California. Chad, the guy who's held you every time you cried. Chad, the guy you've been trying to make jealous all day. Chad, the guy you've come close to kissing plenty of times. Chad, the guy you've admitted to liking. Chad…" I was too close for comfort now, and her appalled look and the backing up was what had me. I moved closer to her, my body up against hers as her back came in contact with the wall. I had her under my spell already as her eyes seemed to glaze over as she stared at me, there color darkening. "The guy you want to love you. Chad, and just Chad."

I didn't know what came over me at the moment, but the honest words I said and the raging feeling I felt and the way she looked at this moment had me pushed over the edge. One of my hands came up to her neck to keep her forehead against mine and the other hesitantly touched her thigh. I felt her sweet breath on my face as she sighed, and her eyes closed. Her hands were on my chest, gradually coming closer to the bare skin of my neck and I shivered.

Chad, the guy who really wants to kiss you. Right now.

"You're jealous," She whispered against my cheek. Her soft skin was on my own and my breathing was slightly off. I was so lost in the way her body responded to my own that I could barely speak.

"Yes," I whispered, and I felt a tiny bit of the weight being lifted off of my shoulder. "Yes, I am."

She bit her lip as my hand crept slowly up her body with a mind of its own. She gasped slightly when it traveled over her hip and around her waist. My cheek was against hers as I whispered one last thing.

"You're mine, Sonny." Her hands tightened on my shirt. "And I'm not threatened. By anyone."

The sound of footsteps was what broke us out of our trances, and enough to make me pull away immediately. I refused to catch her eye as I exited through the other door, leaving her weak and breathless.

Little did she know, I was too.

xXx

Does this justify my absence? Please review! I loved this chapter (: