Disclaimer: I'm the master of my fate, the captain of my soul but I don't own Twilight. Don't sue.

Summary: It's not easy being Rosalie's Hale best friend, especially when you're not a size zero. But, for once luck and love are going to be on her side. This is the story of a relationship.

Note: Welcome! I hope you will enjoy this! I have to thank my two betas LaSerenade and IChimpz69 who really made this a lot better than it was. Thanks for the comments and most importantly, THANK YOU for fixing my commas! =) Thank you all the girls over at adifferentforest who really helped me with all their precious pieces of advice and with all their personal stories. The title comes from a novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Warning: This deals with body images issues so do not read if you find that offensive. The opinions stated in here are not my own but the character's. Bella thinking that she is fat does not mean that I'm insulting everyone who is plus-sized. It's just means that Bella has some serious self-esteem and body image issues.

The Beautiful and Damned

1. Girls and Boys

~ Bella ~

Let me just start by saying that I absolutely adore Rose. She's my best friend. But still… sometimes… sometimes, when I forget that I love her to bits and pieces, it's really hard to be Rose's friend. After ten years, I still can't fathom how someone like Rose is a friend with someone like me.

Rose is something of a miracle. She's truly one of a kind. Rose is tall, blonde, and has the most amazing blue eyes you'll ever see. Rose has got perfect C-cup breasts, a slim waist, and legs that go on forever. If perfection existed it would be in the shape of Rose. Rose also has an IQ of 180; she is a genius. She's a structural engineer. I know, life is unfair. Drop dead gorgeous and intelligent? Tell me about it.

We went to college together. I met her six months after class started. She was in the same building than I was and one night, she found out her roommate had been selling her stuff on eBay and having sex on her super expensive sheets. I never saw someone so furious. She broke the girl's nose and wrist in three places, and to calm her down, the RA told her she could have whoever she wanted as a roommate as long as she stopped being a harpy. I was on the same floor to watch the show. She looked around and pointed at me and said, "I want her!" And she got me. Much later, I asked her why she chose me and she said that it was because I was the only with a book in my hands. That was supposed to mean that I was somewhat serious and quiet. She was right of course.

Yeah. It's hard to measure up to someone like Rose. Especially if you're like me. And by like me, I mean, fat. I'm not that fat, but I'm plump enough for my 5'4" frame. And when you're standing next to someone who is a size 4, you appear much fatter. Which sounds kind of vain, I'm realizing. Vain but true. Don't bother telling me the contrary.

"I'm fat" becomes an excuse very easily when you're shy like I am. He won't like me; I'm fat. Why would they hire me? I'm fat. Why would she be my friend? I'm fat. Why go out? I won't have fun because I'm fat. Why bother with shopping? I'm too fat. As if that was the only thing that could possibly be wrong with me. I had this great automatic built-in excuse. This didn't sit right with Rose.

Rose quickly put an end to that. She told me to stop whining and get on with my life. She forced me to go out and socialize. And I'll always thank her for that. But it still doesn't change the fact that I'll always feel self-conscious. I still think that my weight is the first thing that people see about me, the first thing that guys see in me. It's still the first thing that comes to my mind when I have to describe myself. It's not I'm an architect, I'm a brunette, I'm an Ivy-league alumni. It's I'm fat.

Like I said, it's hard to love Rose sometimes. Like the times when a cute guy comes to talk to you just to ask for Rose's number. Or like the guys who fake being your friend so they can be friends with Rose. Or the guy who asks his friend to fuck you so that the room is free for him to fuck Rose. Like when you walk on the street with Rose and all the men turn their heads to stare at her. Like when a guy talks to Rose and you're next to her, but it's as if you don't exist. It may sound trivial, but after awhile, it really gets to you.

Well… to be perfectly honest, I never tried to be thin. I don't believe in dieting. I'm way too clumsy to do any kind of sport that would allow me to burn some serious calories. I swim, and I do Pilates and yoga. I'm flexible, but not thin.

Tonight is girl's night out. We see each other twice a week at O'Neil's. However, tonight is going down in history; Rose has made partner at her firm. So she left her husband Emmett at home with his video games and came to celebrate with me.

"What's up with this place tonight?" Rose asks as she gets up to get us another round.

"I think they have a new hot bartender, everyone came to ogle her," I answer toying with my paper umbrella.

"Fuck it, I'm going in!" she exclaims as she slides down her top a little so the male bartender will be able to see her plunging cleavage.

"Good luck!" I say as I turn toward the menu on the table and read it for the hundredth time, just to have something to do.

Ten minutes later, Rose still hasn't come back and it's quite a surprise. Usually, she always succeeds in getting drinks before anyone else. It's the blonde with big boobs thing, it works miracles on bartenders. I've finished reading the menu from cover to cover and I'm starting to get uncomfortable. I imagine everyone wondering why the plump girl is sitting alone on a Friday night in a crowded bar. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and chant all my positive attributes to myself to clear away the panic.

When I open my eyes again, there's a drop dead gorgeous waiter in front of me asking me something. He's got bronze hair and green eyes. He's wearing the standard O'Neil's t-shirt with jeans and chucks. He's quite tall and just too attractive to be real.

"Excuse me?" I say, blushing.

"I was just wondering if you would like another drink," he says in a nervous voice. He must be new at the job.

"Oh, no, thank you! My friend went to the bar to get us some refills." I see his face fall. "But could you bring us another plate of nachos and some napkins, please?"

I see the corner of his delicious lips lift up into a bright and playful smile.

"I'm not a waiter," he replies, "but I would love to get you a plate of nachos if you'll allow me."

"Oh fuck!" I blush beet-red immediately. "I'm so so sorry." I'm just going to go die of embarrassment now.

"No, it's okay, really!" He says with a chuckle. "I'm Edward. Cullen. Edward Cullen."

"Bella Swan," I answer, not feeling the burn on my cheeks lessen. "I'm really sorry, I thought you were a waiter because of your shirt, I'm so sorry."

"Oh! No, I just love O'Neil's; my brother is the owner so I get free shirts and free booze from time to time," he smiles.

He seems gentle. I like gentle.

"Lucky you!" I respond.

"So, about that drink? Can I buy you something?" He asks with a kind smile.

Is he serious? Is he hitting on me? The hot gorgeous guy who's not a waiter wants to buy me a drink? Color me confused.

"Hmm… I don't know." I stammer. Maybe this is joke. Or a bet.

Get yourself together. You're a smart, independent, and successful woman. You don't need a man to complete you! Well, I don't need it but it'd be nice…

"I'll even get you nachos if you want," he carries on. "Come on, one drink. One drink and I'll forgive you for the waiter fiasco."

"Yeah… sure…" I finally say.

"What would you like?" he asks

"A Mojito would be great" I smile and blush.

"I'll be right back!"

Edward is literally back in less than two minutes, my Mojito, his beer and a giant plate of delicious looking nachos in hand.

"Wow that was fast!" I remark.

"Yeah, I told you, I know people!" He smiles.

I sip the Mojito quietly, waiting for him to make the first move in the conversation. I anxiously turn my head toward the bar to see where Rosalie is and why the hell she is taking so long.

"So, Bella, what do you do?" he asks after taking a long gulp of his beer.

How I wish I could be that beer bottle. His mouth is just perfect and way too kissable for my sanity.

"I'm an architect," I answer.

Head turn. Rose, Rose, Rose, where are you?

"Really?" He says with a surprised look on his face.

Usually when I tell men I'm an architect, they always assume that it means that I'm an interior designer. As if women were only capable of decorating and not actually designing a building.

"Yeah, I'm with Volturi&Smith."

Head turn. Looking for shiny blond hair…

"Have you designed something I might have seen in the city?" He seems really interested.

"I designed that new park/playground near the riverbanks. You might have heard about it." I answer proudly; I put my tears, sweat, and blood into this piece of land.

"The one on Oak Street?"

"Yeah, that one." I say surprised he actually knows which one I'm talking about.

"Seriously? My sister Kate goes there every day since it was finished 2 years ago. Her kids love it!"

"Well, I'm glad they like it!"

Where the hell is Rose? Maybe something happened to her! I'm starting to get worried.

"Anything else?"

"Well, the park/playground was the first big thing I did on my own, but I helped with the renovation of the Opera and with the new wing of the modern art museum. But we make most of our money from people who want to build their house or expand it. I've designed several of them, mostly in the pricey neighborhoods."

"That's nice! Do you like it?" He asks in between nachos.

"Yeah, I love it! Strangely, I never imagined myself being an architect. I've always wanted to do Fine Arts and become an artist. But my first architecture class thrilled me so much, I decided I would let someone else be Picasso and that I'd rather be the new Jean Nouvel."

He appears embarrassed as he gulps down the rest of his beer. "Yeah, well, what we plan for isn't always what happens." He says with a knowing smile.

Head turn. No shiny blond hair in sight. I open my purse to take out my iPhone. She's been gone for over twenty minutes now. It's not normal.

"Are you okay? You seem nervous." His hand covers mine gently to stop me from fidgeting with my phone. His touch sends electricity all the way up to my shoulder and I feel myself blush.

"My friend Rose hasn't come back." I answer as I start dialing.

His fingers encircle my wrist to stop me and I see him blush. Well, that's new.

"I…" He pauses as he runs his hands through his already disheveled hair. "I might have asked the bartender to make your friend wait so that I could have time to get to know you," he finishes nervously.

I'm split between feeling a bit annoyed and feeling all warm and gooey inside. That's very sweet in a sorta creepy way.

"How long was he supposed to stall her?" I ask after a pause.

"Half an hour." He answers reluctantly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I just wanted to talk to you for a bit."

"Well, we still have ten minutes, right?" I say with a smile.

It's not every day a guy goes to the trouble of keeping Rose occupied to talk to me.

"Yeah, we have." He says with a bright smile as he removes his hand from mine. I still feel the electricity zapping me and I shudder pleasantly.

"So, what do you do?" I ask still sipping my drink.

"Well, technically I'm a doctor, but I'm a music teacher." He says running a hand in his hair.

"How is that?" I ask, very curious as to how you can go from physician to music teacher.

"Well, my father is a doctor and I've always wanted to follow into his footsteps. After finishing med school, I worked with my father for about 2 years and then I realized that my heart wasn't into it. I turned to the thing that I had always loved: music. I returned to college and voilà, I'm a music teacher at the conservatory."

"That's a bit unusual. What do you teach or play?"

Now that I know he's a musician, I can't help but watching his fingers and thinking about how skilled they must be.

"I teach Music Theory and play the piano."

"Are you a genius or something? You can't possibly be a doctor and a music virtuoso!"

"Well, I can tell you I'm definitely not a virtuoso and as far as medicine is concerned, I just have the diploma, it doesn't mean anything now."

"Still, it's impressive."

"What you do is impressive as well. I cannot even begin to fathom how to design a building!"

"Well, if you get bored with music, you could return to college one more time and do architecture."

"Music is it for me. I never want to do anything else." He seems so passionate about what he does that he takes my breath away.

I open my mouth to ask another question when I see Edward's eyes staring at something behind me. I turn around and notice a very furious Rosalie making her way back. I see Edward's eyes scanning her over and I feel my heart sink. Of course, he'd be interested in Rose now that he has seen her…

"Your friend is coming back. I better disappear before you tell her I purposely prevented her from getting alcohol." He says as he gets up. "Would you be interested in going to dinner with me sometime this week?"

"Seriously?" I blurt out before realizing what I said.

"Yeah, seriously," he laughs "I'd love to see you again, Bella."

I feel a weird sensation in my stomach very similar to the sensation when the sun caresses your skin in the early summer: a delicious shiver of sheer pleasure. I feel like I'm going to implode from happiness or melt at his feet in a puddle of goo.

"Can I have your number?" He asks quickly as he runs his hand in his hair again.

"Yeah, sure."

He takes out his iPhone and I take out mine and we bump them to exchange contact info. I love technology!

"I'll call you tomorrow to arrange this. Have a good night."

I don't even have the time to wish him the same thing before he has already disappeared. I'm still stunned and deliriously happy when Rose finally arrives at our table a few minutes later.

"We are NEVER coming back to this fucking bar ever again!" she vents, her voice shaking with fury. "Half an hour to get two miserable drinks! Can you fucking believe it? The bartender must have been gay! He looked as if he was ignoring me on purpose! Asshole!"

I'm still smiling like an idiot during the next five minutes of her monologue. After a while, she finally notices I'm definitely not listening to her.

"Why are you smiling like that? You're scaring me, Swan." She said as she downs her Martini.

"You are not gonna believe what just happened! Hell, I don't believe it just happened!" I say, still smiling and still stunned.

Edward Cullen. And to think, today was just a day like any other!

Note: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. This is going to be a short story: from 5 to 10 chapters. This is rated M for sexuality later in the story. I treasure reviews, don't hesitate to send me one! =)