I have no idea where this came from, honest. I think my muse is doing drugs. First off, DUDE. Why on EARTH is it in present tense? Do you even know how often I do that? Think, like, maybe once before. But I don't know. For some reason I felt like it worked better. Second, Cloud thinks. A lot. And when thinking is involved, my brain goes places. I am a ditz sometimes. Third, uh. Can I blame this on being sick? --coughcough-- Look, I'm pathetic here.
ANYWAY. Hopefully someone can enjoy this randomosity despite the funkyness.
Allergy Information: Contains swearing. And weirdness, but not in a... that is... well, I just made a lot of shit up. Nothing I think that is important. Ohh, and there's a lil bit of drinking and some slash/yaoi/whatever-you-call-it and Cloud's being girly. I think that's it. I wrote this in like. An hour and a half overall, tops, so sorry if I missed anything.
Leon's busy. I understand that. I know that with the restoration of an entire world come many responsibilities and missed phone calls and lonely nights-- and damn, when did I become such a girl?
But that isn't what bothers me. No, spending weeks at a time alone is fine by me. Of course. Okay, so maybe it bothers me a little. But that isn't the point. The point is that Leon is such an asshat that he didn't even bother to come home or call or even send a freaking postcard on the most important day of the year!
Okay, things are getting out of hand. Maybe I should start from the beginning.
Leon and I go way back. Like, way back. Think before-Sora-was-born back. We'd practically been in the same womb. Okay, that's weird to think about and entirely untrue, especially considering the age difference… whatever, the point is, I've known him since he was born. He was my best friend when we were kids. We'd spend hours behind the old barn, swinging stick "swords" and digging for treasure and just being happy. Okay, maybe I went a little too far back. It's not my childhood friend that's the issue here; it's my lover.
There. I said it. Lover.
After the whole deal with Sephiroth, while Leon was off saving some sorceress or what have you, after the Heartless destroyed our world, after we fought off everyone and got our home back… well, Leon and I were different. Not like, different as in not the same person-- only we were, but who could blame us?-- but our relationship just didn't feel the same. So we did the only logical thing: we blamed each other.
You still don't see where this is going, do you?
See, Leon and I hadn't exactly… that is to say… well, we were horny. And well, one day we were fighting and he pinned me down and I was fully expecting him to beat me to death when… he kissed me. So I'm not the one who started this-- it's his fault. I mean, it's not like I resisted or anything, but still. His fault. Obviously.
Anyway. That set off a turn of events that I really don't think should be discussed at the moment. Mostly because Leon might find out and kill me.
I still haven't gotten to the point, have I? Well. Leon and I finally became official. I don't know how or why or whether it was a good idea, but I do know that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. But what's important is that we became an official couple a year ago today. Yep. Our one-year anniversary, and that ass is on the other end of the world-- hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't even on this world anymore! It's not like he comes home to tell me where he'll be. I have to hunt down Cid and hope to gods Leon mentioned something to him!
Do you finally understand what I'm upset about? Leon kissed me, Leon asked me out, and it's Leon who isn't even here for a "happy anniversary!" What an ass!
Knock, knock.
Is that… someone's knocking on the door! Leon came home after all! I spring up from my spot on the couch and sprint out of the living room and fling open the door and…
"Oh." My shoulders slump a little before I can stop myself. "Tifa." I know I should be nicer to her, but I'm really not in the mood.
"Look," she starts, "I know you're upset that Leon isn't here, but--"
"I'm not in the mood," I mutter. She looks let-down, but I can't help it. I don't need her here, trying to cheer me up. I need Leon. But I don't tell her this because it's weak, it's girly, and I'm not weak or girly. I just grab the booze she's clutching and go to get some shot glasses. I know better than to assume she'll leave me alone.
When I return, she's already made herself at home on my couch. In my spot, dammit. But I don't say anything because maybe if I'm behaving well enough, she'll leave.
But she doesn't, of course. Not until the bottle of alcohol is gone and we're both so sloshed the thought of standing still is laughable. But I'm just drunk enough and still very, very pissed off at Leon to not stop her when she leaves. And when she's gone, I collapse on the couch and stare blankly at the wall.
I'm so drunk I can't even think straight, but it doesn't matter. Leon is still the only damn thing on my mind. What an asshole! Why can't he just get out of my head!
I curl up inside myself. This time here, this moment of weakness, no one ever has to know. I'm by myself, alone, and I finally just let it all out, let out all the tears and anger and frustration and just everything that Leon has caused until I'm just tired, no emotions left to spare in my exhaustion.
I don't know how long it is before I move. I'd probably lie there longer, but I swear I hear something at the door. Not a knock but there's something. I reposition myself, tilt my ear toward the door. With my brain addled by alcohol, I can't really be sure I heard anything at all. But then I hear it again. Something like soft footsteps. Just a couple steps, then they stop again. Almost like someone's out there pacing.
I sit up. It's late. Who could be out there? Is Tifa back? Why doesn't she just knock? Maybe she's worried that I'm asleep and she doesn't want to wake me. For some reason, I coerce myself into getting off the couch and stumbling to the door. Tifa had somehow managed to lock it, so even though it takes me a minute of fumbling, I finally unlock it.
"O-oh god," I mutter. I'm smiling but I'm not because there's no way this is happening. I reach out and touch familiar leather. "Leon," I whisper. "You're actually here."
He looks just as surprised as I am at this turn of events. Eventually, he shrugs nervously and holds out his hands, palm-up. "Happy anniversary."
I practically tackle him. He doesn't so much as falter; he just wraps his arms around my middle and kisses my jaw softly. Those lips, I've been dreaming about them for what seems like forever. I weave my hands into his hair and pull him down for a deep, demanding kiss. I've been longing for this moment since the last time his lips left mine. Somehow I manage to take a step back and the cold air hits me like a train and why is my shirt damp?
I look up at Leon. Had I really missed that he was drenched?
"Why are you wet?"
He gives me his awkward grin and motions behind him with a jerk of his thumb. "Did you know it's raining about five miles away?"
I let out a breath of a laugh. The only man who was willing to trek at least five miles to wish me a happy anniversary, and I'd been calling him an ass. I'm the ass here.
"Sorry," I mutter. It slipped out, but I still meant it, in a weird way.
"For what?"
I run a hand through my hair. "For… thinking that you wouldn't come, for calling you an ass…"
"When did you do that?"
"Well, it was in my head, but…"
We both smile awkwardly at each other for a moment, but then that moment's gone because he's gently pushing me back into the house.
"I love chatting on doorsteps," he says, "But it's cold." He shuts the door behind him, sealing us both safe inside. That's when I really let go. I'm on him again, for another long, deep kiss. I'm not letting this moment slip away. Every night I spent alone, I dreamt of this, and I'm going to take advantage of the fact that he is back. I'm not letting him go. Even though he might be gone tomorrow morning, he's here now, and that's what matters; this is why I'm still alive.
Stupid, I know. But I'm useless at everything except fighting and not dying, and there wasn't a whole lot of fighting to be done anymore. So that leaves not dying, but that isn't all too hard without fighting, which means I'm spending most of my days bored out of my mind, which in turn means that my mind's on Leon.
It hits me that I've never actually told him how I feel. He's told me. He's made all the moves and he's confessed, but I've just… I've just kinda nodded and went along with it. I pull back from his embrace. No wonder he doesn't come home; no wonder he was pacing outside. Does he even really know how I feel? Does he think that I'm just doing this for the hell of it?
I take a deep breath. I'd never said those three words before. At least, not to someone who mattered so much. It shouldn't be a big deal. I know he feels the same, so…
"I love you," he whispers, smiling at me. He's so fucking beautiful.
"I, uh… I love you, too." I did it. I actually said it.
He's smiling wider. "I know." But he still kisses me gratefully, and I'm happy that he just takes it for what it is.
Maybe anniversaries are usually more material than this. I don't care. Leon and I both got exactly what we wanted: for me, he was back home, and for him, I finally vocalized my feelings.
But what really matters is that he didn't forget. I thought he had, or if he had remembered, he didn't care, but… he does. That means more than anything to me.
Okay. So Leon is a little bit of an ass sometimes. He leaves for weeks, occasionally months, at a time without notice and without telling me where to find him. But that's okay. He comes back when it matters.
Pretty-please review? Because. Uh. Because you love me? :D (Yeah, I'm running out of bribes. I ran out of cookies last time I offered those. D: ILIKEMAHCOOKIES.)