( THE PATH TO THE NORTH IS BLOCKED BY ICE. YOU'LL NEED THE VAMPIRE )

44. Your first boyfriend will be your last, because you'll marry them and live happily ever after.

45. When your legally an adult, you should get married right away with the one you wanted to marry for years.

46. You will have a guaranteed near-death experience for every year you date a Sparklepire.

47. When you're new at school, your class is bond to love you so much, that multiple nice, okay looking kids will want to date you.

48. Make sure to try to kill yourself in a relaxing vacation spot, such as Italy.

49. Every time you go out to town, it's bond to become a date with your boyfriend, who happens to go to the same town at the same time as you.

50. In response to number 49, it's good that he shows up, because your life is going to be in danger in a few minutes anyway.

51. If your boyfriend is not able to die for you, even if you are yet to start dating, dump them and find someone else.

52. It's okay if your boyfriend might secretly be Santa Clause.

53. Sometimes not thinking can get you good things- like your own sparklepire!

54. If you ever get stuck with a problem you should be able to solve, don't. Instead, call on the local vampire to do the work. They are, after all, the greatest and most gentle problem solvers around.

55. If someone doesn't eat their lunch, they no doubt can't because they're a vampire.

56. If both you and the person you're dating/in love with want something that you could do, you won't do it.

57. Always put out off today what a vampire can do tomorrow.

58. Chances are, you'll pick the bestest and strongest vampire for a boyfriend. Did I mention it was by chance?

59. Sometimes, its best to seduce your friend to gain knowledge about that hot vampire you met the other day.

60. When all else fails, use someone else to do the hard work. Then take the credit by finishing their work when they aren't looking.

61. Live every day like it was your last da- not wait, you're immortal and can't die. Even though you're a mortal.

62. Don't worry, nothing bad can ever kill you because you have a sparklepire who makes it seem like you're the immortal and they're the mortal.

63. Children are a form of torture.

64. The more mutated a child, the quicker it will grow!

65. High school teachers and workers have bad memories, enabling local vampires to go to the school for year after year without notice.

66. In response to number 65, Vampires will never get bad grades,which would come with an accuse to be going to the school for so many years.

67. Werewolves are not werewolves.

68. Necrophilia is not always bad.

69. Sometimes it's okay to give up your friendships, family relations, your life in general and your school grades to get the vampire.

70. Attractive men ALWAYS end up being bloodthirsty killers. Like you care.