Losing My Goodbye

This is my first Transformers fic, so I welcome constructive criticism. It came to me the other night after watching the movie – which surprised me since I always skip this part – so I decided to take a stab at writing. I'm more of a technical writer than creative but hopefully it won't read like that.

I should probably mention that Prowl's death seamed almost instantaneous in the movie so that's why it's written kinda short.

Rated for Cybertronian swearing, slash (although nothing really explicit), and secondary-death experience. Also don't own Transformers.

Time Units: breem = 8.3 min, joor = aprox. 1 hour, orn = 1 day

-*-*-

Cybertron was practically glistening in his window with a great deal of energy and activity. There were no signs of fighting and buildings once destroyed were being fixed. Cybertronians once again walked the streets virtually without a care and with the occasional sparkling. Cybertron was finally being restored to its glory. A symbol all Autobots dreamed of.

Except for the fact it all belonged to the Decepticons. Now Cybertron was a symbol of the Autobots' greatest nightmare: complete Decepticon control. Along with vast amounts of energon and rapidly growing armies. These days Jazz found himself ignoring the window in favor of the television. But today Jazz couldn't focus on the tv, burying his face partially in his hand with his foot idly tapping. His mind kept wondering to the shuttle launch scheduled shortly. Not for the first time since joining the Autobots he was irked at Optimus. Prime had scheduled a meeting regarding the launch with only a few breems between the meeting and the actual launch to "minimize the chance of the Decepticons finding out." In other words, Jazz would only have a couple breems to say goodbye to Prowl.

A sudden soft noise of doors parting alerted him to Prowl's presence, pulling Jazz out of his funk. Jazz smiled up warmly at his beloved before getting off his slightly-destroyed-yet-unbelievably-comfy blue couch. Prowl gave him a small weary smile.

"I must leave shortly."

Jazz saw Prowl tightly holding the datapads regarding the launch and took a hold of Prowl's hands, lightly rubbing his knuckles. They spent a few moments in silence simply enjoying each other's presence. Just as Jazz was about to speak Prowl shifted his hands, pulling a datapad slightly out.

"I must hand this datapad off to one of the engineers before I join the others for the launch."

Jazz cursed. Slagging Prime! He had only a couple of breems and Optimus just had to hand Prowl a task right before he left. Frag it all to the Pit! Prowl pulled his hands out, saying goodbye to Jazz as he turned to leave.

"Wait!"

Prowl looked back, a little startled.

"See you soon," Jazz said with a reassuring smile. Prowl smiled back.

"See you soon." And with that Prowl was gone, leaving Jazz feeling uneasy.

"Well slag it, if Prime is gonna cut down my time spent with Prowl, I'm gonna make sure Prowl at least departs safely!" Jazz ran out to the tower overseeing the launch.

---

Nearly a joor later Jazz was sitting alone in the rec room, slowly drinking his energon. A few of the others came over to distract him, but he felt a little too irritated to really socialize. Although still unhappy with Prime, he was really upset at the Decepticons. If it wasn't for the attack a few orns ago he'd be there with Prowl! One of the stray Decepticon blasts had hit the hanger hiding the shuttles, damaging the second shuttle. Hence the engineer report given to Prowl during the meeting.

The original plan had been to send two shuttles because this mission was too vital for any complications. If the Decepticons did discover the launch, then the two shuttles could protect one another. So I could protect my Prowl, he thought smugly. He had a field day with that, calling Prowl his "damsel in distress". However, as it was, the second shuttle would be out for another several joors for repairs, effectively grounding the crew since they were unable to use another shuttle thanks to a specific shuttle designed needed for the mission. That meant Jazz was stuck on base, not playing shiny white knight.

Jazz was so busy pouting he almost didn't catch Sideswipe tearing through the rec room like his life depended on it… laughing. A glittery-pink and yellow streak soon followed, roaring about how his twin was about to die hideously while choking on glitter and glue. Jazz chuckled, thinking how Prowl would've just loved handling that matter (and Ratchet). The thought of Prowl reprimanding the twins brought memories from days spent in the Ark. Jazz never admitted it how he loved it when the twins would do something illogical, causing Prowl to crash. Well, when the crashes weren't that serious (only his non-fundamental systems would crash leaving him offline for half a joor). On those days, Ratchet would just order Prowl be taken to his quarters, fuming about how he didn't have time to deal with it when "some other stupid fraggers were testing his skills by taking their lives in their fraggin' hands over something fragging stupid!" Ratchet would order that Prowl check in when he woke up… which meant someone actually had to make him go. And that meant Jazz. So on those days, Jazz would take Prowl to their quarters, curl up around him on their berth, and just hold him until Prowl finally came online. Jazz loved being able to spend time touching Prowl since Prowl wasn't exactly into physical affection when online.

Feeling his bad mood melt away, Jazz sat there enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling until he felt a surge of shock from the other side of the bond.

Prowl?

But Prowl didn't respond. Instead, Jazz felt an intense fear. Jazz quickly rose from his chair, dropping his energon as he turned to run towards the command center.

PAIN!

Before Jazz knew it, he crumpled, consumed by an unbridled pain racing through his systems. Primus! The pain burned hottest in his chest. Was he on the ground? Was he screaming? He couldn't tell what he was doing; all he knew was that he was being ripped to pieces from the chest out. Somewhere he was dimly aware of others yelling and trying to grab him, but he couldn't see anymore. Nor did he care.

PROWL! Jazz kept screaming over the bond. His Prowl couldn't be dying! The feelings coming through on the other side were weak and disorientated.

Prowl! Please don't leave me! The presence on the other side was confused, still rapidly fading. Jazz screamed, sending waves of emotion meant to waken Prowl out of his stupor. But it wasn't helping.

So… weak… the only coherent thought Jazz could pick up.

Then let me help you! Let me be your strength! I'll be there for you! Jazz begged. The pain was becoming so intense in his chest. Like a hole was burning through him and catching every one of his systems on fire. He couldn't believe the pain could still grow, but with some unknown strength he pushed through, clinging to the bond. He had to be there for Prowl!

But Prowl… there wasn't that much left of Prowl. He couldn't even hear Prowl's voice anymore. His presence felt cold, fragmented. Jazz started sobbing hysterically, trying to gather and hold onto as much of Prowl as he could. Maybe if he was strong enough… maybe if he held long enough… maybe if he was the mech his partner needed him to be…

… Jazz… love you… forever…

Just as suddenly as the pain started it disappeared, along with the feeling of Prowl's essence. He was no longer complete; instead, he was all alone. The only thing he could feel was despair and a consuming empty darkness. Pieces of him were breaking off and burning away as if they would never return again. He could feel his systems shutting down, one by one. His strength completely left him. Someone roughly yanked him up and started running, but Jazz no longer noticed anything after that.

Nooo… Prrowwl. No. He would never kiss Prowl again. Never laugh again at Sideswipe versus Prowl matches, or join in (sometimes against Prowl). Never see if he could convince him to be 'creative' or try to embarrass him in during a dull meeting. Worse yet, he hadn't gotten to say goodbye. He never got to hold his love in his arms and tell him how much just being with him meant to Jazz. Tell him how perfect he was. Tell him that Jazz never felt as full of life or complete as he did with him. Tell Prowl anything and everything. But now… now he'd never get the chance.

Noo… For the first time Jazz found himself hoping the medics would fail to save him. Then he didn't lose his goodbye; he'd get to say hello.

-*-*-

This was meant as a one-shot so there won't be a follow up on how Jazz goes from here to getting devoured by Unicron even though I have an idea :) I know, how mean, but I'm okay with at.

As for the shuttles, I figure if they don't have enough energon to launch an assault but Ironhide felt that the trip to Earth would 'number the Decepticons days,' then they probably were going to bring back a very large amount of energon. Therefore, they'd need shuttles with extra storage and dampeners so the Decepticons don't detect and steal them. I'm betting they don't have a lot of those.

Please review so I can figure if my skills are better fitted for the technical or notl.