Author's Note: And this...is the last chapter! *tears up* Sorry, guys, I know y'all probably want more, but the truth is I'm running low on inspiration for this fic. So I think it's best if I end it here. I hope you like it!

Chapter Five: The End of All Things Sue

Teh tyme went by, and I sang many songs to intertain teh titans. Tehy wer captavated by my luvly singing voyce.

In teh meentyme, I wuz startin 2 get tipsy. Not drunk, tho, cuz that's not sexhay.

"Doesn't she know that 'tipsy' is the same thing as 'drunk'?" Cyborg asked. "It's in the dictionary."

"You tell me whether you think she can even spell 'dictionary,' and I'll answer that question," Raven replied dryly.

Cyborg didn't answer, and Aqualad continued to read in a loud yet very flat voice.

I approuchd Robin, giggling slightly. "Wanna take me 2 my bedrum?"

"LEAVE! LEAVE!" Robin and Starfire both yelled in panic at the same time. They just knew what was going to happen...

Robin smyled. "Sure thing," he sed. Shivurs ran down my spyne as Robin led me away. When we got 2 my room, we...well...giggle.

"NO!" Starfire shrieked.

"Dang it!" Robin growled.

Aqualad skimmed through the scene, and because he felt that he shouldn't have to be the only one suffering, he read aloud a few words here and there (even if Más and Menos were there): "Clothes...sheets...whip?...ugh, is that even physically possible?...whoa, Robin, you're a dog!"

"Hey, Aqualad! You want me to get a knife and slice off your gills?" Jericho signed angrily. Más and Menos were sporting identical looks of horror on their faces, and there were quite a few Titans moaning something about bleeding ears.

"No need to be so violent, Jericho," Aqualad said as he finally got to the end of the scene.

Robin held me in hiz armz, my dainty soft skin warm 2 teh touch. "I luv u."

"I kno," I replyed.

"Not like I wanted her to say it," Robin began, "but who says, 'I know,' after someone says they love you?"

"Besides Han Solo," Beast Boy interjected.

"Robin, she's shagged countless people since her arrival," Kole said bluntly. "What did you expect?"

Soon, Robin and I, lyke, went bak 2 teh partay. A few huors l8r...

"Sapphyre, I think ur drunk," Robin sed. "Let me help u lye down."

"I'll do it!" Beast Boy sed.

"No, I will!" Speedy sed.

"No, me!" Aqualad sed.

"You can have her!" Robin and Beast Boy exclaimed in unison.

"No chance of that!" Aqualad and Speedy chorused back.

"Oh, I luv u all!1" I smyled.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" several voices screeched.

Aqualad's face went from white, to green, to white again as he scanned the pages, not bothering to say out loud what was written on them. Which was just as well, since everyone was looking sick.

"I...I...I need a shower," Jericho signed, his hands shaking.

"You need a shower?" Beast Boy huffed. "What about me? Or Robin or Aqualad or Speedy?"

But Jericho, who was getting cross-eyed, didn't seem to have heard him.

When I opuned my eyes, I found myself bak in my bedrum at my house! Lyke, gasp!11!!

Thik teers streemed frum my beautiful blu eyes. "Why!" I cryd. "WHY CANT I BE WIT TEH MANY GUYZ I LUV!!!!!!11111!! WHY?!"

A bored Aqualad looked up at everyone else. "This little temper tantrum goes on for about nineteen paragraphs. Does anyone mind me skipping it?"

Silence.

"Yeah, didn't think so."

I stud up. "Sumday, I will return! My luvly luvving luv will bring me bak 2 teh teen titans univurse!"

"You're never coming back!" Aqualad, Speedy, Robin, and Beast Boy all shouted. Everyone else (as in, Cyborg, Jericho, Más, Menos, Starfire, Raven, Bumblebee, Kole, and Jinx) were relishing their good luck at escaping a fate worse than death: being Sapphyre's love slave.

TEH END! LYKE, OMG, IT'S OVER!!1111!!!!

A long pause fell over the group. Then Aqualad threw the book to the ground and whooped. This was followed by a loud cheer.

"She's gone! It's over!" Robin practically sang out as he danced with Starfire. Jericho wrapped his arms around Kole, as if thanking her for being a normal female (well, as normal as you can get when you're a Titan).

Bumblebee cheerfully high-fived Jinx. "The nightmare's over!"

Before the pink-haired sorceress could answer, the metal plates over the windows and door were lifted, the Tower's lockdown ending.

Everyone turned to see Kid Flash zip into the room.

Jericho glared at the speedster. "Well, look who's here: Kid Flash the coward," he signed sarcastically.

Kid Flash laughed nervously. "So, I'm guessing--"

"GET HIM!" Jinx screamed, firing a series of hexes at Kid Flash. Most of the others dog-piled Kid Flash, wanting a chance to rip into him after the whole "lock-down-the-Tower-and-leave-everyone-to-be-tortured" stunt he had pulled.

During the commotion, Raven calmly picked up the book and tossed it out the window.

"That's the end of that," she muttered.

THE END