Ok ---first things first -----sorry, sorry, sorry. Had not intended to keep this chapter hostage but real life has been completely manic. So this is the end. Hope you enjoy and thanks for continuing to read and review.

Chapter 17

Earlier, back at the base...

Gibbs had gone to visit Kate, feeling the need to apologise and to get some answers. He'd had a long conversation with Ducky, which had answered some things, but it was the conversation he'd had with General O'Neill the night before that was buzzing around his head as he entered the room, making him question his feelings. What exactly did he feel for her, for a member of his team? He'd had a rule about relationships on teams for so long, pretty much since it had all gone sour with Jen. It had been a long time since he'd thought about Jen. He knew she was doing well in the agency but their affair in Paris had made the No Relationships rule absolutely essential, at least for him. But now Kate was here and, thank God, still alive, so the question remained: what did he feel for her?

He quietly entered the room where Kate was and quickly saw that she was asleep. She looked so peaceful lying there that he really didn't want to disturb her. So he sat down and waited for her to wake up. He'd spoken to Tony and General Landry and had told Tony to handle the briefing. He knew it was unorthodox but he'd been up the whole night and just couldn't have faced an official briefing.

Gibbs sat there for over two hours, just watching Kate sleep. He shifted in his chair and switched his attention to the monitors keeping their watch on Kate. She wasn't in danger anymore but the doctor wanted her to be monitored - no he corrected himself, the doctor wanted them to be monitored. He was struggling to believe it all; there was still no real evidence that the baby was his, but the doctor had assured him that the baby did exist. A baby, a real baby, like Kelly, his little girl who had been cruelly taken from him while he was out of the country. Wow, he could barely get his thought processes to work through that.

He thought back to his conversation with Ducky, which had been enlightening, to say the least. Ducky had been reluctant to say anything but Gibbs had persuaded him, after telling him about the conversation he'd overheard between Kate and the doctor. Ducky hadn't gone into any detail but had confirmed that Kate's medical file showed that she would be unlikely to conceive, never mind on the first try. Gibbs knew that he was unlikely to understand the medical jargon even if Ducky tried to explain in more detail, but he was feeling a desperate desire to know more. Logically he figured there were a few reasons why a woman couldn't conceive. However, even Ducky had been surprised that Kate couldn't accept the news from the doctor: it spoke of a deeper knowledge than that provided by past medical professionals. Gibbs had promised Ducky that he'd talk to Kate and, more importantly, listen to her in order to get to the bottom of this.

He was still sitting there, mulling things over, when Kate stirred in her sleep. She tossed her head slightly and moaned a little in pain, then slowly moved her arm and reached out towards him as if she knew he was there. He tentatively reached out and took hold of her hand, just the top of her fingers to begin with, then he grasped her hand fully in his. He began rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, just willing her to wake up and get better.

Kate's eyes opened slowly and she blinked away the sleep from her eyes. She felt someone holding her hand and she was curious to see who it was. She turned her head and looked down to the two hands resting on the bed then followed the arm up until she was looking into the eyes of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and she felt a tightening in her chest when she realised just what the look he was giving her meant.

"Hi again," she whispered.

"Hi," he replied.

"I didn't think you'd be back," she said, a statement without accusation.

"Yeah... I needed to see if you were ok," Gibbs replied weakly, knowing that she deserved an apology but being unable to say the words.

"Did you get the doctor to talk to Ducky?" she asked quietly, pulling her gaze from his.

"Yes. HHe said he can understand why you don't believe it but he's seen the evidence. You are pregnant, Kate." Gibbs had never been one for beating around the bush.

"Are you sure?" He wouldn't lie to her, she knew he wouldn't.

"Yeah, the doctor showed me the scan she'd done."

Kate lay there with her head leaning heavily on the pillows. She couldn't quite believe it, but if she'd been asked yesterday to pick the two people on earth that wouldn't lie to her then Gibbs and Ducky would have been on top of the list. She took a breath and then groaned in pain, remembering exactly why she was lying in a strange hospital room.

"Ssshh, it's ok, I'll get the doctor if you need her?" Gibbs was about to pounce off his seat to get help when Kate pulled him down by the hand she was still holding. Watching him and the care he was displaying for her made her need to confirm some things before she'd let him go.

"Are you ok with it?" she asked, curious about what he'd think about the whole crazy situation.

"Kate, why were you so convinced that it couldn't be true?" He looked away, not looking in her eyes. He knew he'd avoided her question and was being too cagey, but he needed an answer to this question.

Kate turned her head away but left her hand in his; she needed the comfort. She should have known he'd want an explanation for her reaction. She just wasn't sure if she could tell him. Could she trust him with the most personal thing in her life, the one thing that she had buried and not told anyone outside her immediate family?

Gibbs watched her as the thoughts crossed her mind. He was pleased that she wasn't completely angry at him for asking, but he could see the struggle she was facing to open up to him.

"Because I had an abortion when I was 17 and the doctor screwed it up." She was still facing away from him, the shame washing over her as it had done all those years before. She hadn't told her parents she was even pregnant, never mind having the operation. It had been the worst moment of her life.

Gibbs remained silent; this was one of the possibilities he had considered earlier. He knew there was more to come and a few seconds later she started to whisper again.

"I was told I'd never be able to fall pregnant again. My parents were distraught. Not that I couldn't have a baby but that I had killed one. They called the family priest. I'd never really gotten on with him and, well, this episode was a nightmare." She glanced back at him and was encouraged when she saw the concern shining in his eyes.

"My family's priest said the fact that I couldn't have children was God's punishment for having had an abortion. I believed him." Gibbs had to lean closer to hear what Kate was saying as she was almost whispering by the end. He could see tears making their way down the side of her face and he reached over to cup her cheek and turn her head towards him. Then he used his fingers to gently wipe away the tears.

"That must have been an awful time for you." Gibbs' heart was breaking for her.

Kate simply nodded. He hadn't condemned her but did he agree with the priest? A horrible thought crossed her mind as she touched her stomach; it was so terrible that she just had to voice it. "What if the priest was right and God will kill this baby as a punishment, too?"

Gibbs sighed and took her hand properly in both of his. He waited until she was looking into his eyes and, seeing her fear, spoke with more tenderness than Kate had heard in his voice before. "Katie, I learned a long time ago that God doesn't work that way."

"But what if He does?" she quizzed back, desperate for him to make her believe it, to make her see that this fear, which had lingered through her university years and years in the secret service, was not a reality.

Gibbs lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. He knew he had to be honest. Kate was clearly opening up to him, telling him something that no one else knew. He knew he had to do the same, no matter how difficult that might be or how uncomfortable and vulnerable it made him feel. "I know what it's like to lose a child, Kate. I've never told anyone at NCIS but my first wife and daughter were killed over 10 years ago. It's taken me a long time to realise that they weren't killed to punish me."

"Why haven't you told anyone before?"

"Because they were part of my past. I don't like to share, but I love you Kate, and you deserve to know."

"You love me?" Kate was flabbergasted. "When did you realise that?"

"When I saw you lying on the ground having been shot."

Kate looked at him directly, amazed that he had actually come out and said anything, never mind exactly how he felt about her.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked her, his investigative skills getting the better of him. She nodded in response.

"Does Ducky know about the abortion?" Kate lowered her eyes.

"No, my file just outlines the last operation I had to try and solve the problem. Being a civilian isn't like being in the military, Gibbs. They don't know absolutely everything about you, especially from long ago. When I joined NCIS I just had to fill out a form indicating any medical issues. I've had several operations over the years, trying to fix the damage that had been done, but I was told that it had only helped a little, removing some scar tissue, I didn't think that anybody needed to know. But I mentioned the last one because I can get really bad cramps – I've had to take days off work before - and it's better if that information is official."

"Well, you won't need to worry about cramps for a while now." Gibbs tried to smile and lighten the mood.

Kate's face suddenly fell and the colour drained out of it.

"What if something happens? After the last operation the doctors said I was very unlikely to get pregnant and if I did I would find it hard to carry a baby to term."

"Shh, calm down. We'll take it one day at a time and, if something does happen, we mourn and move on." Gibbs had been gently stroking Kate's hand, but then he stopped, his voice becoming forceful as he looked directly at her. "But it will not happen as a punishment for you or me, understood?"

Kate nodded and smiled a watery smile at him. "But what are we going to do at work?"

"Well, you can't be at an active crime scene..."

"Gibbs..." she started to argue.

"No argument! Besides, it's agency policy. So, it's desk work for you. The details we'll have to sort out with the Director."

"You're going to be trouble, I can tell." Kate grinned.

Gibbs smirked. "As long as you stay out of trouble, I'll be no problem at all."

Kate's smile wavered. "We good then, with all of this?" she asked hesitantly, still a little uncertain.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about before. I was a little scared and tried to push you away." Gibbs looked down, going a little red.

Kate had to giggle, this was so unlike the man she knew. "What's this, Gibbs - 'The second B is for Bastard', apologising and admitting he was scared all in one sentence?" she smiled using what he had told her after they met to tease him.

Gibbs looked back up at Kate. "Well, yeah."

"I think I'm going to like this new side to you, Agent Gibbs. In fact, I think I love it already." Kate was about to pull him towards her to finish off their conversation with a kiss when they were suddenly interrupted.

"Boss, you in here?" Tony called out from the other side of the curtain.

"What is it, DiNozzo?" Gibbs snapped back.

Tony stuck his head through the gap, noticing that Kate was awake. "Oh, hey, Kate. How are you feeling?" He looked at Gibbs without waiting for an answer, completely oblivious to the look Gibbs was giving him. "Boss, just wanted to tell you that the briefing went well. General Landry has taken my report and Ducky's so we're good to go. Oh, the General said to tell you that he'd organise one of the air force Lear jets. Can you believe they have more than one? Anyway, he says we can go when Kate's able to be moved."

Just then Tony noticed the joined hands of his boss and his team mate and he couldn't take his eyes off them. Then he smirked, desperate to make a very inappropriate comment. However, before he could say something, he caught a shift in movement from Gibbs and quickly glanced his way. Seeing the traditional Gibbs glare in place he diverted his eyes and continued to brief Gibbs, for once managing to refrain. "Well, Abby and McGee are getting a personal tour of the actual Stargate and then we planned to go out for lunch. There was a message from O'Neill for you as well. He said that he's making an honest woman out of her. Said you'd understand." Gibbs nodded but didn't elaborate, much to Tony's annoyance. "Right, well, good to see you awake, Kate. We'll go out for some food then come see you later, if that's ok?"

"Sounds good, Tony. If you happen to pass a chocolate shop, could you maybe get me some?"

"No problemo. Boss, anything?"

Gibbs just continued to look straight at Tony and Tony got the distinct impression that he really wasn't wanted there, so he gave Kate a quick smile and then rushed out the door.

As Tony left Gibbs smiled.

"Gibbs, what was all that about General O'Neill?" Kate whispered to him.

"Well, if DiNozzo got the message right, he's marrying Colonel Carter today."

"I knew I was right! Didn't I tell you?" Kate beamed up at Gibbs, having been proven right.

Gibbs could see the only way to shut her up was the old fashioned way. He leaned over and kissed her, and for now all was right in his world.