It's a fan fiction of a fan fiction!

And I totally don't own the bleach characters. If I did, I'd hand over the rights to Penny so she could take over. But I don't, so……

"Keep up, Grimm-kitty, I'm wailin' yer ass."

"Ugh, shut the fuck up, asshole. How the fuck did I get trapped into this shit?"

"That's cuz ya' suck at Quarters." grinned Nnoitra as he gracefully spun and thumped in time the erratic arrows flying on the screen of Grimmjow's reluctant plasma screen TV.

"Shove it, Twinkle Toes. Still doesn't explain why Blondie's on my team."

"Cuz' I suck at Quarters too." replied Shinji bitterly. "And quit yer' bitchin' Pussy Cat. I'm the only reason yer even in the game still."

"Bullshit. I whipped all of you guys in Guitar Hero."

"Cuz you kept playing Hotel California over and over."

"It's a good song, asshole."

"Whatever. You still better hope I can save yer lumberjack ass. Don't think ya wanta lose, do ya?"

"Why the fuck not?"

"WELL, if I remember correctly, if yer team loses, you get to play the Bitch role tonight." sneered Nnoitra. Ichigo giggled from his spot next to Shinji on the couch at the sight of a drunk Grimmjow failing terribly to thump to the feeble beat of the Beginner's setting as Nnoitra was dancing Hard circles around him, sometimes being bold enough to leap onto his opponents DDR pad to get in a few steps.

"The fuck I will." Grimmjow growled as another 'poor' popped on screen. "I'll tie the bastard up and rape him if it comes down to that."

"As if." huffed Ichigo. "You can't rape the willing."

"See?" grinned Grimm, managing a 'good'. "I'm getting' laid tonight with or without your pansy ass, Blondie."

"Yer getting laid whether you win or lose, asshole!" snapped Shinji.

"Well…I wouldn't say that, but…" Ichigo started but was stopped mid sentence at the venomous glare that Grimmjow shot him. A 'poor' came on screen.

"Pay attention, Big Blue Kitty," he cooed. "You're killing your chances of me sucking at something tonight too."

Grimmjow 'hmphed' and turned his attention back to the screen. Nnoitra giggled.

"Oooh, yer bitch just called you Big Blue Kitty. You gonna take that?"

"I'll get him later. I'm too goddamn old for this shit."

"Fuck you, I'm older than you and I'm ownin' you!"

"I'm not a fuckin' sparkly ass fairy either."

"Fuck off, asshole!" snapped Shinji from the couch. Grimmjow sneered.

"Wasn't talking to you, Blondie. Somebody has a guilty conscience."

Shinji opened his mouth for a comeback but shut it when nothing came. He settled for sticking his tongue out and scowling on the couch. Finally the song ended.

[Player Two, you're the winner!]

"Shut the hell up." Grimmjow growled at the TV screen.

"Alright, yer up. Go shake those cute little butts of yers while we sit back and watch." Nnoitra gave Shinji's and Ichigo's rear a playful slap as they passed. Grimmjow growled and fwapped Nnoitra on the back of his head.

"Keep your damn hands off my Strawberry."

"But it's such a juicy Strawberry, Grimmy…" pouted Nnoitra, pouching out his bottom lip.

"Shut up."

After changing the settings to Expert. Ichigo and Shinji met eyes and they both had identical grins.

"Time for a show." said Ichi, his voice playful. They went to their designated pads, pausing only long enough to pull the two pads together, lining up the inside edges.

"What the hell are you doin?"

"Shut up and watch."

An overly-upbeat song started. The Expert setting's flurry of arrows appeared almost immediately. The two burst into motion. Their feet leapt and spun, the pair occasionally dropping to their hands and knees and bending themselves backwards or sideways into very suggestive poses to play the other's pads. Two pairs of eyebrows from the couch raised at the display.

"Grimm?"

"Yeah?"

"Yer bitch is dry-humpin' Blondie."

"Uh-huh. I see that. "

"And?"

"Big surprise, two strippers can dance."

"Are you as turned on as I am?"

"Didn't fuckin need to know that."

"But are ya?"

"Hell yeah."

At the TV, Shinji and Ichigo clasped hands momentarily and gyrated their hips in unison. The two men watching from the couch squirmed. The arrows peppered the screen, 'greats' and 'perfects' writing a two-word novel.

"Keep up, Ichi, keep up!" Shinji whooped.

"No, no! Trip, Ichi! Trip!"

"Screw you, Grimmjow."

"Trip, and I will."

"What, scared Pussycat? Sabotaging a sure thing 'cuz you can't take one up the ass?"

"You shut the fuck up. Besides, what the fuck does your damn team get if you win?"

"Well, I…"

"Same as you, Grimm-kitty." crooned Nnoitra, his voice barely above a sultry whisper. His eyes glinted in the direction of the gyrating dancers.

Even in the limited light, Grimmjow could still see Shinji's face redden further than the drunken tinge and he stumbled slightly. His face crooked in a grin.

'Blondie, you little whore.'

The song sped up. So did the two players. Without missing a step, they bent backwards, twisting in a circle before righting themselves. Then they turned to each other, leaning in close, as if to kiss. Nnoitra shivered. Ichigo and Shinji pulled apart. Then without warning, both Ichigo and Shinji dropped to their knees and bent backwards, their jutted hips meeting the each others.

"Oh!" shouted the spectators.

The song ended. Shinji and Ichigo paused to catch their breathe for a moment, catching each others gazes and grinning. They didn't need to look behind them to guess at how their spectators looked. They could feel their eyes raking over them, tearing at their clothes.

"Woo…I've had about enough, let's take a break." said Shinji, his breathing almost normal.

"Yeah, save yer strength, you'll last longer, Blondie. Don't need ya passin' out on me halfway through, do we?"

"Fuck you." he spat, plopping on the floor cause there was no room on the couch.

"Aw, ain't you a sweet-talker?" Nnoitra grinned, tapping Shinji with his foot.

"Tell ya what, we'll watch a movie." he continued, shoving off the couch to the TV. He fumbled with the machinery, cussing a few times.

"Oi, don't break my shit or you're payin for it." Grimmjow snapped irritably. Nnoitra 'tched' and muttered under his breath before letting out a 'there ya go, motherfucker' and slipped a disc from paper sleeve into the DVD player. He grabbed the remote and plopped back on the couch.

"Grimm, you have too many damn remotes."

"So? If I can afford 'em I can get what I want."

"What are we watching?" interrupted Ichigo, giving Nnoitra an accusing glare. Nnoitra shrugged.

"It's a comedy."

"What's it called?"

"Stepford Wives." There was a variety of responses. Shinji perked slightly while Ichigo raised an eyebrow and Grimmjow declared loudly that he wasn't watching 'a goddamn American chic flic you damn flamer.' Nnoitra simply grinned and waved his hand dismissively.

"Yeah, well, ya lost Grimmy, so I pick the movie. Give it a chance, will ya?"

Grimmjow grumbled but relented, settling instead for pulling Ichigo onto his lap.

"Whatever."

"Heh." Nnoitra grinned and pushed play. Almost immediately the screen splashed with a myriad of naked skin of every color, the large surround sound speakers pounding out high pitched moaning. Ichigo sputtered and blushed.

"Nnoitra, what the fuck?! You said this was the Stepford Wives!"

"It's about them…the actual title is 'The Desperate and Needy Whores of Wisteria's Wang'" he said, reading the sleeve.

"That's Desperate Housewives you fucking moron!" snapped Shinji, who was hiding his face in his hands as DD-sized breasts bounced on screen.

"How the hell would I know? I don't fuckin watch American sitcoms!"

The subject was blessedly dropped, the room quiet except for the loud fake female moans.

Ichigo was blushing madly, suddenly feeling severely out of place in the room. After all, he was the only one there that had even a smidgen of attraction towards women. When a particularly large-breasted blonde woman produced a large dildo he squirmed in Grimmjow's lap. Grimmjow grinned slightly at Ichigo's discomfort, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"Don't tell me you're actually getting off to this shit…"

"N-no…." he squeaked. Grimmjow grinned further.

"Really now?" he whispered, his hand crawling down Ichigo's chest and into his lap. He palmed his crotch, finding it half-hard. Ichigo twitched in his hand.

"Oh, you are…"

"Shut up…" Ichigo hissed, turning to glare at him but failing when he saw the look that Grimm was giving him. That toothy grin with that hot, animalistic glow that his eyes took on when he was just this close to pounding him silly. He blushed again, then jumped when the hand in his lap began to move, gripping him almost forcefully.

"W-what are you…"

"Sshhhh…" Grimmjow whispered in his ear, running his tongue lazily over the shell, making Ichigo shiver. He stopped teasing Ichigo long enough to pry the button on his jeans open and to slide the zipper down. Then he reached inside. Ichigo shuddered as Grimmjow gripped him and buried his face into his neck to keep himself from crying out. Grimm's hand was slow, languid, determined in it's goal but in no hurry to finish. Grimm's other hand pulled Ichigo closer to his chest, wrapping his arm around him in an almost possessive embrace, and at the same time twisting their position enough to hide their act. Grimmjow wasn't sure if Ichigo still knew that they were among guests, but he wasn't about to test the theory. He couldn't believe that he had actually gotten turned on to this shit. The damn thing wasn't even well made, or the girls hot. At least he didn't think so. Guys don't dig chick with scars, right?

Ichigo shuddered slightly, trying like hell not to make a sound. He instead settled on ravishing Grimmjow's neck to keep his mouth and throat busy. For every potential moan he sucked, every potential whimper he bit. Soon even Grimmjow was squirming, his hand quickening. He turned Ichigo's face to his and attacked that beautiful mouth, drawing the bottom lip in his mouth and sucking on it; the loud moaning of the movie on the TV unheard and forgotten.

On the other side of the couch, Nnoitra grinned, watching them through his peripherals. That bitch of Grimm's was something else. His own blonde was oblivious to it all, he was whimpering into a pillow. Even better, he had unconsciously scooted closer to him, now resting in between his splayed legs, holding onto his calf for dear life. Nnoitra had picked this particular porno for a damn good reason. No woman cast in it was below a D cup. Beside him he heard Grimmjow mutter something that sounded like "Fuck it." before he pushed off the couch with his bitch wrapped around him and stormed into his room without his tongue ever leaving the bitch's mouth. His grin spread impossibly wide and he turned off the TV.

They were alone.

He nudged Shinji with the leg that he was constricting.

"Hey, ya can look now, the scary part's over."

Shinji looked up at him, glaring.

"You asshole, you picked that one on purpose."

"Well duh. And look, it worked. Yer humping my leg like a Pomeranian."

Shinji's glare deepened as he realized this and he scowled.

"Where's Ichi?" he asked, trying to change the subject. A loud echoing moan coming from Grimmjow's room answered him. Nnoitra burst out laughing.

"Aw, shit that's awesome. I thought that shit only happened in movies."

"Oh shut up. Yer such an asshole."

"Aw, but I spent so much time planning' this night."

"You didn't plan shit."

"I planned the movie. I thought it was romantic."

"How the fuck is that romantic?"

"Cuz scary movies make people go all touchy-feely." Nnoitra grinned. Shinji continued to scowl.

"Aw, cheer up. Tell ya what, ya can sit on my lap and tell me what a bad, evil man I am." he said, crooning the last part. Shinji shuddered at the sound.

He hated that damn voice, hated the way he loved it, how it made him want to drop everything to obey. He allowed Nnoitra to grip his chin and pull his face up, forcing him up to his feet to crawl over Nnoitra's splayed legs and lithe chest.

"So come on, Blondie." Nnoitra whispered, his voice low. "Tell me what a bad boy I am." his tongue flicked Shinji's nose.

Shinji shivered, his cock twitching.

"Fuck you Nnoitra." he tried to hiss, but his voice betrayed him and it came out shaky and breathy. That smug grin on Nnoitra's face turned arrogant. He knew the affect he had on him, and was quite proud to show it off. He wanted to wipe the fucker off. Shinji's hand lurched forward, grabbing a handful of silky black hair and pulling that arrogantly hot face closer, crashing those damn lips to his own. His actions backfired when Nnoitra flared up, taking control. The taller man's skilled tongue greeted his own, then explored and slid through the rest of his mouth. His teeth grazed it drawing it into his mouth and sucking on it, almost as if expecting something to come out of it. Shinji turned to butter on a stove, adjusting his position to rest comfortably in his lap, and at the same time grinding his protesting groin into the man below him.

Down the hall, Grimm and Ichi were heavy into their games. Ichigo was leaned up against the dresser, his arms around Grimmjow's neck, his legs wrapped around his hips. They had tried and failed to make it to the bed. Grimm ran his tongue down Ichigo's neck, stopping at the juncture of the shoulder to draw the flesh into his mouth, nursing it like a kitten. He bit lightly, causing Ichigo to gasp and squirm in his arms.

"Dammit, quit fucking teasing me before I make you."

'Oh, yeah?" Grimm growled, kissing back up his neck to worry Ichigo's ear, nipping that one little spot.

"Go ahead then…." he challenged. "Make me."

"Take off your pants and I will."

Grimmjow chuckled.

"Hold on ." he warned before letting go long enough to tear at the buttons and yank the offending clothing off. Ichigo's had been torn off as soon as the door was closed. Ichigo let go of Grimmjow's neck and shoulders, instead leaning back to grip the edge of the dresser. He locked eyes with his lover as he took one of his finger and brought it to his own mouth, drawing it in and coating it with saliva. Grimmjow's eyes glinted at the display but he said nothing. Ichigo smirked and added another, drawing it in slowly, wrapping his tongue around them.

"Hell yeah…" groaned Grimmjow as he watched Ichigo abuse his fingers, his cock aching in anticipation. Ichigo moaned and added a third, his head bobbing slightly in parody of his favorite activity. He began to move his hips, grinding them into Grimmjow's slightly shaking ones. At this Grimm lost it, pulling his fingers from Ichigo's mouth and bringing them to his waiting ass.

"You play dirty, you know that?" he growled as he inserted two at once. Ichijo gasped and his back arched, his knuckles white on the dresser. Grimmjow didn't even bother with the third before the fingers were removed and replaced with something bigger, and so much hotter. Ichigo gave a small scream and his head flew back, barely noticing the hands that gripped his hips before Grimmjow slammed into him, hard enough to make the whole dresser bang into the wall. The pace was set.

Nnoitra and Shinji paused what they were doing when they heard the bang. Then another. And another. They had made it to the floor somehow, Shinji lying on the carpet with his hands bound with a belt as Nnoitra licked tequila from his belly button. Nnoitra snickered to himself before returning to his activities, running his tongue further south, following a trail that had run over and spilled over his body. He purposefully avoided the one part that was so aching for his attention, waiting to see how long until Shinji started begging. Which, judging from the sounds he was making, wouldn't be long.

"Dammit, Nnoitra, haven't you teased me enough? "

"Hm…no. But I'll stop if you ask nicely." he said, his voice slightly sing-songy. Shinji snarled, then whimpered when Nnoitra's tongue met his inner thigh.

"Gah! Dammit…"

"Ask nicely…"

"Please, godammit, please!"

"That's better." he said, giving Shinji's aching member a playful slap, making him whimper. Feeling he had suffered enough, Nnoitra pulled his long black hair out of his face before decending on it, taking it all in one fell swoop. Shinji moaned, though it sounded like a sob. He pulled at his restraint, shivering at the feel of it's unyielding tightness. As Nnoitra ran his tongue up his length, he inserted a lubricated finger into Shinji's backside. Shinji squirmed and bit his lip as Nnoitra pleasured and prepared him. His eyes caught sight of the bottle next to them, a bottle of olive oil that served in place of Shinji's mint lube that was carelessly left at home.

"Yer such a hot little slut, ya know that?" whispered Nnoitra, the sound running down his arched spine and into his groin. By now he had three fingers in, thinking about a fourth, before he though better of it. The blonde deserved a break. He gave the quickening cock one final suck before raising up and crawling over Shinji's body, watching the shiny studded nipples rise and fall fervently. Be leaned down and bit one of them, then gave it a reassuring lick before meeting Shinji's pleading gaze, the one that cried out "please abuse me in the worst way you can! I don't want to walk for a month after this!"

Aw, and how could he say no to puppy dog eyes like that?

"Get ready." was all the warning Shinji received before he was invaded. He screamed and yanked at his restraints, making the belt groan. There was an answering scream and bang from down the hall.

'Heh, can't let them have all the fun, can?" he grinned down at Shinji, who answered by wrapping his legs around Nnoitra's waist and pulling him closer, impaling himself. Nnoitra's breath caught in his throat, his nails digging into the carpet.

"Fuck…!" he gasped. Shinji smirked, pulling himself out and shoving it into himself again.

"You little fucker…" growled Nnoitra, pinning him back down to the floor and setting a punishing pace, fast and hard, making Shinji buck and scream. Nnoitra noticed that his hands were turning an off color in their restraints and reached up to release them. They flew to his back and sank their nails into his flesh, making him groan and arch. He paused mid thrust before reseting the pace, this time slower, his thrusts sudden and deep, bringing gasping whimpers from the blonde.

"God, you're so fucking hot…" He moaned, crushing his lips with the beautifully swollen ones beneath him. The kiss was desperate, needy, speaking things that neither party were ready to openly admit or speak of to each other. Nnoitra moved faster, the nails in his flesh deepened, drawing blood. Shinji was shuddering, chanting his name. It was the hottest sound he had ever heard.

"God, Nnoooi….!" Shinji gave a final scream before the orgasm took him, coating Nnoitra's stomach in white. The resulting spasms and tremors wrecking his body also sent the man above him over the edge, his voice low and choked.

The banging from down the hall came to a stop, a joined moan echoing from the room. All four where breathless, shaking, and not a one of them wanting to sleep.

Next time, they were gonna play strip poker.

-FIN-

WOOT! Alright! My first sex scene! Woo, man that was difficult…this is for you, Mistress Penny!