Disclaimer: I own nothing but my little fantasies.

It was Leonard McCoy's firm opinion that Jim Kirk in pain greatly resembled a wet cat; what with all the hissing and spitting and yowling and squirming that went on during what should have been a simple medical check-over. Sure, the kid had a couple cracked ribs and some bruising, but really, considering he'd recently stormed a hostile Romulan vessel with only his phaser and a lone Vulcan for backup, he was in surprisingly good shape by Jim Kirk standards.

"But Boooooones…!" Not that you'd know it by the way the brat was whining and carrying on.

"Sit still!" McCoy snarled at the flailing boy. "I don't care how much the regenerator tickles, you're not leaving until those ribs are mended; so help me I'll have that pointy-eared mannequin in here to hold you down if I must! And for the love of god, stop swearing at me in other languages! I'm your doctor, damnit, let me do my job!"

"Forgive my interruption, Doctor, but the language in question is Vulcan." At this, Jim paled dramatically and began to make sawing motions at his throat, which were summarily ignored with such tenacity that Leonard might have mistaken it for glee on another individual. "In fact, should it satisfy your curiousity, you should know that you've been commanded to 'wallow naked in a stinking, insect-infested mire for the passage of many solar cycles.' I would not take any true offense; it's rather pedestrian by my brother's usual standards, and therefore more indicative of a reflexive reaction than a true expression of emotional distress."

Goddamn, was that a hint of a shit-eating grin on the hobgoblin's face? McCoy hadn't thought it was possible, but Spock definitely seemed somewhat smug. McCoy took advantage of Jim's momentary distraction to jab him with another hypo of painkillers, ignoring the surprised yelp before returning his tools to their table, stripping off his gloves and gathering Jim's patient file, updating it with the latest information. It was only then, watching with half a gaze as Jim pulled his shirt back on, still rubbing his neck and muttering under his breath, that Leonard deigned to respond to the Vulcan.

"Not surprised, this one is notoriously mouthy when he thinks he's being manhandled. Of course, if he'd come seen me directly after returning to the Enterprise…" Leonard tossed the PADD onto the biobed, a little harder than necessary in his agitation.

"I had important, Universe saving things to do! And you had Pike to worry about!"

"Pike was out of surgery in six hours! It's been nearly twenty-four since you beamed back!"

"There were things to do! Urgent, Captainly things! And I was fine! I've known how to handle myself in a fight against multiple stronger-than-human opponents since I was pre-pubescent! Ask Spock, he taught me!"

"Don't change the subject! You knew I'd be worried about your dumb ass, and you couldn't even come and see me? Is my peace of mind worth nothing?"

And that was the crux of it all, right there. Leonard had been worried sick; stuck in medbay healing the last of the walking-wounded while Jim was off dodging angry Romulan's on their own ship, then he was putting Captain Pike's spine back together while Jim stared down a madman and stopped the Enterprise from being torn apart in a black hole, and that glimpse of him on the transporter pad in between hadn't been enough! Leonard had needed this, needed Jim warm and solid under his hands, needed to fix him, needed to put him back together before he could really believe that Jim was ok. Now, he was staring somewhat stupidly at the other man, trying his best to convey all this and more with just his stare. Somehow, Jim seemed to understand, because the hard line of his mouth softened, and he shifted a little closer to Leonard.

"Bones, I didn't… I mean, I wouldn't have…it's just that…" Leonard would never admit it, but Jim's stumbling attempt at an apology was just this side of adorable, although certainly ridiculous, to be sure. Leonard felt himself taking a step closer as well, less than a foot between him and Jim now, and from this close Jim's eyes were so very, very blue, pupil's blown wide so the iris was nothing but a small ring of pure cobalt around fathomless pitch black. Leonard was so ensnared he barely even noticed his hand moving until it was cupping Jim's jaw, tilting his friend face to the perfect angle, sliding in to breath the same air, lips brushing once, twice, finally meeting fully. Leonard's free arm came up to hook around Jim's waist, pulling him in until their bodies met. Jim sighed softly into the kiss, neither of them bothering to properly deepen it, just enjoying the soft meeting of mouths, their lips moving gently together. The moment could have stretched on forever if it wasn't for the no-nonsense sound of a throat clearing only a few feet away.

Suddenly reminded of their audience, the two men nearly leapt apart, both red-faced and shuffling awkwardly. Spock for his part looked completely unaffected, although an experienced watcher could have easily identified the mirth in his eyes.

"Well, I can see that my presence is no longer necessary. I'll leave my brother to your tender cares, Doctor McCoy. I trust, then, that the responsibility of his continued wellbeing will not be beyond your remarkable skill?" Leonard blinked, judging the sudden gravity of the Vulcan's tone to be conveying far more intent than his words indicated. Running the sentence through his head one more time, Leonard felt his eyes widen in realization.

"Of course, Commander Spock. Someone's got to make sure this idiot stays in one piece." Jim huffed in outrage at that, but something in Spock's posture loosened marginally at the reassurance.

"Of course, Doctor McCoy, I expected no less." Turning on his heel, the man ducked past the privacy screen, striding purposefully from the medbay. Both Jim and Leonard watched him go, pensively.

"Did he just…"

"…give me the damn shovel talk? Yes Jim, congratulations your overprotective Vulcan brother thinks you're a sixteen year old girl." Jim didn't seem offended by Leonard's insinuation, shrugging a shoulder noncommittally.

"He's eldest, it's his right." Jim turned to face him, eyes full of mischief. "Y'know Bones, he was only halfway correct. I mean, I was totally not serious about the stinking mire, but the naked part…" Leonard groaned; facepalming.

"Damnit Jim! Not in my medbay!" As always, Jim's bark of laughter nevertheless made the corners of Leonard's lips twitch.

"Uhura! Uhura wait!"

Despite her better efforts, Uhura wasn't able to shut the door to her quarter's fast enough before Kirk was slithering his way in after her, rubbing his chest with one wide palm where the door had done its level best to close on him.

"Geez Uhura! Those ribs were just mended!"

Exhausted, grieving and generally overwhelmed as she was, Kirk's cocky pirate-smile was probably the last thing Nyota wanted to see right now, savior of the world or not. With a sharp motion she was pointing at the door, free hand on her hip and eyes hard. "Out, Kirk. Now."

"Now hold on just one…"

"OUT!"

"Uhura, please…" Something about Kirk's tone stopped her in the middle of forcibly shoving his otherwise un-protesting form towards the exit. With a sharp sigh, she stepped away, turning away and presenting him with her profile, arms crossed stiffly.

"You have one minute. Start talking."

"Y'know, if I'd known it was you that Spock was all hung up on, I wouldn't have been so rude this whole time." Uhura couldn't stop a snort, spinning to face the man head on.

"Is that what this is all about? Some kind of apology?"

"Actually, yes. I'm and asshole, and I'm sorry."

Any other day, Nyota wouldn't have trusted Kirk as far as she could throw him one-handed, but the Kirk in front of her wasn't quite the same Kirk she'd thought she knew. He'd shown a multitude of hidden depths over the course of the last couple days, surprising everyone on board, including Spock. (Who also owed her a very, very good explanation for not telling her he had a brother in the first place.)

And apparently she'd either mumbled that last bit out loud, or Kirk was a telepath, because he was nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, he didn't tell me either. About you, I mean, that it was you, I knew he was seeing someone, cause he was happy, y'know? I mean, he was practically skipping about singing showtunes, by Vulcan standards at least. So yeah, I knew there was a girl, I just didn't know it was you, although I probably should have. You're totally his type; he likes 'em fierce. Anyways, I wouldn't take the omission personally, I'm pretty sure this is his idea of a practical joke." Nyota blinked at the man. Slowly.

"A practical joke? Spock? You're kidding, right?" Kirk's flat expression told her all she needed to know.

"No, I'm not. Vulcan's do actually have sense of humour, although they tend towards the incredibly dry, sarcastic end of the scale. Especially this particular Vulcan, and believe me when I say that watching us drive each other nuts for the past couple years without saying a word is exactly the type of thing he'd find utterly hysterical. Ask me to tell you about the thing with the handheld fan and the baby powder sometime." Kirk seemed to be relaxing, if his increasingly animated motions were any indication. Despite years of witty antagonism, the communications expert in her had always been somewhat fascinated with Kirk. She could've happily written her senior thesis on the variations of his speech patterns and vocabulary in relation to his current circumstances, never mind the inherent impact of his body language in relevancy to his use of vocal communication… But then again, if there was one thing everyone who met him knew, it was that Jim Kirk was a genuine original, never to successfully be duplicated. Not that the world would know what to do with another Jim Kirk if they had one.

"Uhura are you listening? I'm kinda apologizing for pretty much everything I've ever done here, and I think I'm only up to three weeks after we met." Drawing her gaze back to his face, it was easy to see that while his tone was light, he truly was trying to be taken seriously. Nyota realized with startling clarity that Jim Kirk truly did want her forgiveness, if not for the benefit of themselves, but for his brother. It was a strange thing to see this man as someone who valued his brother's happiness so deeply he would go to such lengths to appease the girlfriend he had unknowingly wronged. Seeing him like this though, although she would never admit it, probably endeared Kirk to her more than any number of apologies in the world ever could.

"It's ok, forget about it." When Kirk blinked in confusion, she cut him off before he could continue. "Really Kirk, we'll be here forever if we start apologizing. Can we just clear the slate and call it even?" Because really, she couldn't say their previous 'friendly animosity' could be blamed entirely on the blonde. Apparently this was the right thing to do, as Kirk's smile was broad and genuine.

"Great! Really, that makes me happy. Hey, being communications, you're rather culturally sensitive, wouldn't you say?" At Nyota's affirmation, he hurried on. "Great! So you're aware then, that Vulcan's don't do casual relationships? I mean, you have to understand, Uhura" and here Kirk's voice dropped, smile slipping into something she'd quickly come to realize was his 'Captain Face.' "If Spock's been with you this long, and is introducing you to his family and calling you his girlfriend and macking on you in public, which by the way, you two have to do in front of the elders sometime, they'll have kittens, it means that's he's as serious as Romulan's off the starboard bow. My brother's a good man, and deserves good things, so as long as you're serious back, we have no quarrel, right?" Kirk's tone was deceptively casual, and Nyota felt a strange mixture of apprehension, and perhaps even a smidgeon of respect.

"That's one thing you don't have to worry about, Captain."

"Excellent! Well, better toddle off, let you rest. Oh! Before I do, one more quick thing. Would you be offended if your almost-brother-in-law occasionally reminded you that you have great legs?"

"OUT, KIRK!"

Kirk hurriedly excused himself, grinning like a loon.

Nyota would not admit it, but maybe, just maybe, she was smiling too.

A/N: Well, I have no excuse for this except that I wanted to, it was fun, and in any universe, Jim Kirk's gonna be Jim Kirk.