This is War

(Keep in mind that this is just a working title- it might change if I think of something clever.)

This is my first Hetalia fic. It is an AU fiction, where some of the countries are students in high school and others are teachers. It is mostly PrussiaxAustria, and my crazy imagination. This story was created while I was in the shower. Yeah…

Warnings: AU, Prustria, UsUk, GerIta, probably a dozen other pairings, strong language, no smutty stuff yet, and there probably won't be- unless I get really bored and brave- and human names. I may have to up the rating to M after the second chapter or so... Also, I have never read the webcomic, as I have not been able to access it, so if there is anything important that I would need to know from the webcomic, I will probably miss it. Thanky and enjoy!

"Gilbert Bielschmidt, you are beyond incompetent."

"I'll bet that means I'm totally awesome and good-looking in your language."

"Gilbert, we both speak the same language."

"No, I speak Awesome, so we must be speaking different languages."

The conversation between the two eleven-year-old boys had been going on like this for some time, and the other kids on the bus were getting sick of it; they had been stuck listening to them bicker since they had filed onto the bus for a field trip, at least twenty minutes ago. The shorter, more eloquent of the two, Roderich Edelstien, had been trying to explain to his friend/ rival/ enemy that he was not Prussian. Ever since the albino had first heard of the country he had been smitten with the idea that he was some sort of lost Prince of Prussia. Or something to that effect.

This annoyed Roderich greatly.

You see, Roderich was much more level-headed, and much more thoughtful than his blonde companion. And a notion as totally absurd as Gilbert being a Prince of anything, of having any kind of dignity, that he would have found it laughable if he wasn't so reluctant to laugh at anything the other did.

"Gil, it's not even possible. Prussia was dissolved before you were conceived- before your parents were conceived, for God's sake. You, your brother, and both of your parents were raised or born here in America, you've never even been to Europe, and your bloodline is totally West."

Gilbert pouted at the brunette, using his finger to slam his friend's glasses into his nose as a retaliation until he came up with something really clever.

"Well by that logic… you're German too!"

Moving his glasses down to a more comfortable spot on his nose, the little Austrian boy glared at his albino companion.

"Gil, I was born in Austria. I denounce your logic, therefore, seeing as it is wrong." Gilbert opened and shut his mouth a few times, having nothing to say about that.

A lengthy pause in their loud conversation gave everyone else an opportunity to go back to their regular programming without any interruptions by the two. It was a regular occurrence for them to be arguing- the two were practically inseparable- but a pause during which you could hear your own thoughts was rare. Of course, once everyone started speaking, Gilbert finally came up with something to say.

"But I want a German boyfriend!" He announced loudly while throwing his arms around the Austrian's shoulders, causing his twin, Ludwig, to turn to look at him with a wince. Roderich tensed up and blushed madly.

"Hands off'em!" Came a shout from the seat behind them. Gilbert froze.

Elizabeta. Best not to incur her wrath… At least she didn't have a weapon here, like her crazy frying pan. Just to be safe, the albino hopped a seat and squeezed in with his brother and Feliciano, a silly little Italian boy who almost never left Ludwig's sight.

"Doitsu, Doitsu! Your brother is really scaaaary! Ve, he's staring at me Doitsuuu!" The tanned boy whined in his high pitched voice.

The blonde petted his friend's hair soothingly, giving a withering glance to his brother (who easily brushed it off, choosing instead to bask in his aura of awesome).

Roderich looked back at Elizabeta half-gratefully, relieved that the albino boy was not going to further embarrass him or do anything stupid. Elizabeta, now bored, took the time to muse to herself; Roderich and Gilbert were actually a very fitting couple. One of them loved to destroy, but the other was creative. Gilbert made messes, Roderich cleaned up. Gilbert got hurt, Roderich tended. It was a wonder they even bothered to live in separate homes, since they spent so much time together.

One would think they'd grow bored. They did not.

Roderich and Gilbert had known each other since Kindergarten, and had been best nemesis ever since. They were always trying to outdo each other, as well as go along in their daily lives as normally as possible. This plan became increasingly difficult to follow as they grew more accustomed to being around each other- Gilbert's antics had become a part of his daily life.

Roderich would grow up to continue to be a person of habit. Yes, the two boys grew to be two teenagers, changing very little in that time except in height. Gilbert overtook Roderich quickly, and simply laughed whenever the brunette protested that he hadn't hit his big growth spurt yet. If anything, Gilbert's ego grew along with his body. Roderich remained a level-headed, procrastinating rich-kid.

The meat of this story takes place when the two friends were 16, in high school. In 10th grade they had fewer classes together, but rode the same bus, so they always had plenty of time to argue over petty things, and spent nearly all of their time together as usual. This was very amusing to the more uncouth guys in the school, particularly the homophobic athlete boys who loved to torture those who looked like they couldn't defend themselves. They mocked the brunette endlessly.

Gilbert, on the other hand, was rather popular with the perverts for his reckless behavior, the jocks for his excellence in sports, and most others for his 'awesome' actions.

Roderich was not very appreciative of this. The brunette, bitter, began to spend any time he had in the music room, or with Ludwig and Feliciano, when the Italian wasn't otherwise preoccupied with pasta or pretty girls. Occasionally he would spend time with Elizabeta, who had grown up to be quite the fangirl. Gilbert was furious when he realized that Roderich was avoiding him. The next time the two were in the same room together, they got into such a fight that both had detention for a month- in separate classrooms, of course.

Over the summer, Roderich spent almost all of his time shut up in his home, practicing his music. Only when his parents got so worried for him that they forced him to leave the house did he see Gilbert again. He seemed to have completely gotten over the argument from earlier in the year, but Roderich tried to ignore him.

"Hey, pansy! Get your skinny ass over here; I haven't seen you in ages."

Roderich continued walking, not turning to face the albino. It was like a dark cloud had settled over his brow. Shoving his glasses up onto his nose and shoving his hands into the pockets of his long coat, he ignored his 'friend' as he caught up.

"C'mon, you know you can't resist my awesome for too long- where are you going, to see my faggot brother, or to hang out with your lesbian girlfriend?"

Roderich's temper snapped. Eyes blazing, the brunette spun around and swiped the back of his hand across the albino's face. He scowled, the satisfying smack ringing in his ears. Gilbert was too stunned to do anything for awhile, allowing Roderich to make a quick getaway.

Gilbert, furious again, didn't even bother to follow after his old friend.

"Who needs that pansy-ass anyway?" He shouted into the mirror, locking his crimson eyes on the ones staring back at him. "Who does he think he is, prancing about all the time; he and his fucking music… Damn him and his bloody beautiful music… Why is he such a… a fucking… prick?"

He was fighting back tears at this point- Roderich was his. How dare he? How dare he ignore him and go so far as to slap him across the face? Roderich should love him like everyone else. It was only fair.

"Why is he so fucking pretty? That's what's causing all the problems." He grumbled to himself, sliding down the tiled wall. Of course, he felt himself completely blameless in the situation. After all, he was only doing what he always had done.

Then a thought occurred to the silver-haired one. What if Roderich was actually straight? Pondering it, he had to fight his ego's urge to dismiss the notion outright- anyone's sexual identity could be altered by Gilbert's presence, after all, so in a perfect world Roderich should have been swooning into his arms instead of slapping him.

Maybe he should ask the Austrian- "No. Most definitely not." After all, that was a stupid idea. Roderich might slap him again.

Then the albino recalled his science teacher. Grinning, he sprinted to his artistically messy room and dug out the bent and slightly burnt yearbook- yeah, he didn't know either, and wasn't sure he wanted to think about that- and flipped through the pages until he found the one with the phone number…

"Yo, are you the British guy?" He asked the first person who picked up, interrupting whatever spiel they were about to deliver.

"That's not my name, you bloody punk! Who is this?" An angry British voice sounded from the other side. Gilbert held the phone away from his ear, with a grin that would rival the Cheshire Cat's.

"Yo, it's Gilbert Bielschmidt, from your science class. I wanted to ask you a favor…"

Roderich was very tired and very annoyed when he returned from the mall- he had gotten lost and called a ride from Feliciano's brother, and the two Vargas brother's and Ludwig had dragged him to the outlet with them. Mostly Feli, who might have done something embarrassing if Roderich refused.

So, trying to distract himself from the incident earlier that afternoon, he had tried to people-shop- watching the people in the mall rather than looking to buy something- but had failed miserably when everyone and everything there reminded him of the albino.

"I'll… I'll be in my room," he informed the maid, since his parents didn't appear to be home. She nodded dutifully.

Locking himself in the piano room- also known as his room, as he spent more time there than anywhere else- he graced his fingers over the ivory keys, letting music pour out. But it failed to soothe him as it used to. Cursing loudly in his native language, he slammed his fingers down on the keys, wincing at the horrendous noise. He caressed the piano in apology for his abuse, and began to pace.

"How could I have lost control like that?" He grumbled, running a hand through his hair, subconsciously trying to smooth down his wild curl.

Well, what more did he expect of himself? It was Gilbert he had been dealing with, after all. The guy practically expected everyone to bend over and kiss his ass just for existing. Scowling, he fought the urge to abuse his piano again. It wasn't worth it to get so riled up.

He was stupid to believe that Gilbert Bielschmidt could ever change- doing so had only gotten him hurt so far. Gilbert had the gall to ignore him; his best friend, his so-called 'boyfriend' for the past eleven years? Then Roderich would ignore right back at him, something few would attempt. Gilbert knew how to make life hell. But so did Roderich.

"Hello, can I speak to Elizabeta?" He asked politely over the phone.

"Roddy! You haven't called in forever! What's up?" Elizabeta shouted into the phone, as if not fully grasping that even though Roderich was far away from her, the phone was right next to his ear.

"Elizabeta, would you like to come… hang out with Ludwig and me tomorrow?" Roderich wasn't very comfortable with 'slang' like 'hang out.' Yes, he's kind of socially challenged.

"Sure!" The brunette squealed. "I'll pick you up; I get the car two days out of the week, tomorrow can be my day."

Roderich smirked dangerously. "Danke. I'll see you tomorrow."

Operation Jealous Prussian was in effect.

"Ludwig, it's Roderich. I wanted to ask you a favor…"

Gilbert slammed the door of his room with a scream, slamming his fists and feet into the walls until it didn't hurt anymore.

"That fucking bastard!" the albino screamed, choking back the tears threatening to spring from his red eyes.

Roderich had planned this- a huge double-whammy in just two days. This was war. Gilbert Bielschmidt would show no mercy.

Just a few minutes earlier the brunette arrived at his house and ushered Ludwig outside. The self-proclaimed Prussian had been overcome with curiosity, and followed them outside. They were sitting there, Roderich with a satisfied smirk, and Gilbert's brother with a steely look in his eye, staring off to the side. The blonde's lips were pursed, his gloved hands resting on his olive pants- as usual, Ludwig looked displeased.

Then Hungary pulled up in a blue truck, and gave Roderich a suffocating hug when she hopped out. The brunette moved his violet eyes up to the window where Gilbert stood, his smirk increasing. It only lasted a second, but it sent shivers up Gilbert's spine. The Austrian knew he was up there.

And that made the kiss so much worse.

Roderich turned and planted a swift, chaste kiss on the dress-wearing tomboy's lips. She blushed and laughed and dragged him into the truck, almost forgetting about Ludwig. Gilbert stared, seething, when caramel eyes met his. And winked.

They drove off. The albino smacked the window. He was really pissed off when it didn't break.

"That fucking bastard… He deserves what's coming to him." Gilbert picked up the phone, eyes blazing and dry.

"Hey, British guy, time to rethink our strategy. I'm coming over tomorrow."

How you like? If you do or don't just hit that button and give some feedback. Reviews are author food- don't let me starve, pretty please. Until next time, my kittens!

Tata!