Disclaimer. The characters belong to the great JK Rowling and Stephanie Meyer. The plot and silliness are mine.

PROLOGUE

"Hi. My name is Alice Cullen and this is a message to... Well to myself, I guess. Come on you guys, I feel like a total douche. Do I have to do this?"

"YES!" Chorused the eleven people behind her.

"Ugg. Fine!" Alice spat, venom lacing her words. She turned the camera around toward the crowd and continued.

"This is Herimone Granger, Ronald and Ginny Weasley. Harry and Bella, wait Bella is you last name Potter or Swan?"

"Technically it's Potter, Alice, but is that the point?" Bella said, rolling her eyes.

Alice ignored her and continued. "Harry and Bella Potter, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle Cullen. And according to the little witch twins over there, who seriously need to do something about their hair," she settled the camera's gaze on Harry and Bella before turning the camera back on herself.

A thought was already taking seat in the twins' minds. In quick movements, the disered effect was achieved. Their hushed whispered turned into quiet giggles.

"ALICE!" Called Harry and Bella in unison. "Is this better?"

Alice turned toward Harry and Bella to notice that Harry's normally untidy black hair had transferred to be a mirror image of Jasper's blond while Bella's long mahogany hair was now in a perfect pixie style.

"Oh HA HA! You too. Turn in back now."

"I think I prefer you the other way Bella," pouted Edward as both Harry and Bella changed their hair back.

Clearly frustrated but without missing a beat she went on. "As I was saying this video is necessary. And why is this necessary you may ask, or I will ask or fuck!"

"Just get on with it Alice," sighed Edward, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Anyway, what could possibly be so vital that I am forced to stand here looking like an idiot talking into a video camera. Well it is necessary because little miss danger magnet over there," she whirled the camera to once again spotlight Bella who blushed furiously and ducked her head into her hands, "is once again in danger. I swear Bella, as if you didn't have your hands full with blood-crazed, psychotic vampires and horny teenage boys, you have to go and throw in dark wizards." Alice chastised.

Ron and Harry stood at the same time, "WHAT HORNY TEENAGE BOYS?"

"Alice," Bella growled. "It's not just me this time." She looked pointedly at the two wizards in a look that clearly said, "If you do not sit your asses down, you'll be sorry."

"Did you just growl at me Isabella? And I see you Ginny Weasley. Put that wand away. What the hell is a bat bogey hex?" Alice's vision clouded and returned. "Oh. That's disgusting."

The room erupted in laughter as Ginny quickly cursed Emmett, who squealed like a little girl, trying to out-run the bats that now threatened to attack him. Rosalie dashed away from her husband, turning to glare at Ginny from the other side of the room.

"What?" Ginny mumbled under her breath. "Vampires. Bats. I thought it was funny."

"You are bloody brilliant little sister," Ron said proudly. Bella give Ginny a fist bump and Harry stole a quick kiss.

A new round of laughter rang through the air. Even Rosalie chuckled softly, returning to her place on the couch as the bats vanished.

Hermione cleared her throat… Ever the serious one. "Guys, this is serious. We have only a couple days left before..." She let the words hang in the air and sink in.

Alice looked at the ground sadly. "Three days. Just three days and my vision goes dark," she said sadly.

At an instant, Jasper was at her side mumbling reassurances to low and fast for the humans to hear.

"Can I ask a question of Bella and our guests?" Carlisle, his eyes alight with the possibility of new information asked.

"Of course, Carlisle." Harry answered. "We consider you all friends. We... Aw bloody hell, were sorry for dragging you into this."

"No need to apologize son. I was just wondering... Why do you suppose they intend to erase our memories rather than just killing us?"

"I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I believe that once they take care of whatever business they don't want us interfering with, they will restore the memories, at least for Bella and Harry, so they can flaunt their victory and rejoice in the Potters' failure." Hermione always did have all the answers. "You and your family are welcome to run as we have suggested. This is our mess after all."

"Now way in hell would we abandon our friends." Emmett bellowed pulling a very surprised Hermione into one of his famous bear hugs. The family whole heartedly agreed.

A grin so wide and proud spread across Harry's face. "You were right Bella. I couldn't ask for a more loyal family for you, at least until you can return home."

"You're going home?" The panic flew through Edward's eyes.

"Later." Bella said, running her hand across Edward's cheek, trying to convey all her love for him in a single touch.

"I think we need to start the video over." Alice stated, close to tears that would never come.

"NO!" They screamed.

Bella crossed the room to Alice, wrapping the usually bouncy pixie in a warm embrace. "The video is good. We may be being silly, but that is the dynamic we have. We will need that to overcome the spell. Now your hair looks stunning."

"Oh Bella, flattery will get you everywhere. After this let's go shopping, Hermione and Ginny and Rose too. The mall in Seattle has this stunning blue dre…"

"Alice, honey, do you think we can just get through this?" Esme pleaded.

"Of course, Esme. Let's see now. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Once upon a time, on a warm and sunny day in Phoenix Arizona..."

a/n As this is my first fanfic, a review would be nice.