Episode 14: Already Gone

Title based on the song of the same name by Kelly Clarkson.

It's another character central chapter that features more flashbacks than the last one to flesh out a certain someone's backstory. And, I want thank all you readers out there! I've been getting a lot notifications lately (reviews, favorites, alerts, etc.) ever since bringing this story back to life. It has been great!

Genre: Romance/Humor

January 2005

Kairi was sitting by herself at a table set for two. Her parents had come to watch over her since she was too young to be by herself. She looked at the menu, thinking what she should get. The place had a variety of food and beverages listed in the menu seeing how the place was open from six o'clock to nine o'clock every day. It was a popular joint in the area that a friend of hers recommended to go to because the food was to die for and it was. Kairi eyed away from her menu to the entrance and saw the long line of wait-listers to prove it. It was good thing she made reservations yesterday and for the morning too. She was more of a breakfast person. As time went on, she checked her watch and looked around the area. Then someone covered her eyes with their hands. "Guess who?" a male voice called out.

"Stop it Ren. I know it's you," Kairi laughed off, removing his hands and he took a seat across from her.

"I don't know. I thought it was playful of me to do it," he said, flashing a smile her way.

"Aren't you just lovely? We're only six graders. Don't need to be all romantic you know."

"What I did to get you was nice."

"You kissed me out of the blue."

"I was in the moment. We were dancing and I saw the guy with the camera coming to take our picture… it seemed right. Now here we are."

"Says the boy who used to pick on me."

"You know what they say about young boys like me. We do it because we like you."

"So we do refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend then?"

"I think we do." Recently, Kairi and Ren started to see each other. He was taller than her and it seemed like his grow spurt wasn't going to go away anytime soon. They used to be the same height, but he suddenly started to grow. He had short black hair, styled in a casual look, light brown eyes, and a killer smile. It seemed like the boy wasn't going to be needing any braces either. Despite their young age, it was easy to tell the two liked each other. There was denying it and Kairi knew him ever since kindergarten. He was bit of a troublemaker before since the first thing he did to her was stick a piece of gum in her hair. It was definitely the start of something new as he continued to pick on her from time to time and from grade to grade because he always seemed to get stuck in her classroom, which annoyed her to bits. She felt she couldn't escape him. Then one day, at a winter ball for their whole school, he kissed her and the rest was history.

"So how's that new project of yours? You must be excited?" he asked, taking a bite from his strawberry waffles.

"Ugh, I don't know," Kairi answered, playing with her food. "I just got a script to this new show called 'Destiny Islands.' It's basically a coming of age show of people my age. My manager said it could be my big break, but I don't want to have too much hope. Heck, I doubt the network will pick it up. TV can be a lot tougher than the movies."

"Who else is part of it?"

"I don't even know. All I heard was that they requested some famous movie boy around my age to play the lead. Said he's been looking to television to expand his career."

"A kid our age said something like that? Hmm… I wonder who fits that profile? You think it's that Sora guy people keeping talking about? He fits the profile. Famous child actor and going strong."

"Shut up. I would die if it was him. All I ever done were small roles and commercials while he's done a ton of movies. Compared to him, I'm just some ordinary kid starting out."

"You're anything, but ordinary Kairi."

"You're my boyfriend. You're supposed to tell me things like that."

"Look at that. You called me your boyfriend," he happily pointed out.

"I did, didn't I?" Kairi said, smiling at herself. "It rolls right off the tongue. How is this relationship thing supposed to work again? I get the date part, but that's about it."

"Don't worry. I don't know either. We'll figure it out along the way," he assured her. "Oh, before I forget, I wanted to give you this." Kairi became quite curious as he pulled something from his feet. "A rose. I know it's your favorite flower, so I got you one."

"You remember? I'm surprise someone your age knows such a thing," she responded and looked at the red flower. "Aw, this one doesn't have thorns."

"You like the ones that can practically prick my fingers?" he asked, raising his brow.

"Strangely yeah, but coming from you, I'll make an exception," she smiled, taking it from his hands and smelling the petals.

"There's even a small note inside, but read it when you get home," Ren mentioned.

"Oh, we get to exchange secret notes with each other? How thoughtful of you." The two continued to talk and eat for the rest of the morning, admiring each other's company.

Present Day

After hanging up on Sora, Kairi laid her phone on the the bed and sighed. It was getting late, but she couldn't sleep either. She felt restless ever since she got back home from work. She didn't know what happened after she placed that picture of Sora and Namine in the trailer. She did it though because it was time Namine knew about a missing part of her childhood. It was important to Sora and that was enough for Kairi to show it. It was dragging in her opinion anyway and whatever happened after, she hoped it was for the best.

She then got off from her bed and turned on the lights to her big walk-in closet. She started to walk further in which she slid a door, revealing more clothes. She bent down to a trunk and opened its contents. Inside were pictures, gifts, and many more that she had long hid from everyone, including herself. "I need to learn to let go." The first picture she grabbed was an old banquet photo of her and Ren. It was the first time they kissed. She felt nostalgic as she lightly placed a finger on her lips. She remembered that dance, but it wasn't the first time it was brought up. For a while, she blocked off any memories of her former flame. It was until she saw Roxas and Namine dancing at the prom that all those memories and feelings were brought back to the surface no matter how hard she tried to forget.

~ Our Life is Not a TV Show or Maybe ~

Namine was in the kitchen, sitting on the island with a bowl full of Lucky Charms swimming in milk. She was thinking how to use her day off to apologize to Kairi. She hardly knew the girl, so it was difficult to find a solution. However, there was Sora, the one guy who knew her the best out of everyone. It got her thinking as to how they managed to be such close friends in the span of five years, but then she remembered how her and Xion were close for the same amount. In the midst of her thoughts, her sister snatched the box away and started to eat from it. "After yesterday, I thought you would be a lot happier for being reunited with a long lost friend," she said.

"I am, but it's not that. It's something else."

"Don't tell me about it's about that Kairi girl. Look, she wants to be left alone. Just let her be. You did send her off running."

"And I am sorry for that. I want to fix this problem, but I don't know what to do. We all go back to work tomorrow. I don't want there to be some tense, awkward atmosphere between us. Not when we're so close to finishing this season."

"Then just suck it up and deal with it. It's not like you were friends in the first place."

"I know, but—."

"Namine, I've known you for years, so I know how you are and what you would do. But you known these people for what? A couple months only? You still have yet to figure out who are these people behind the screen."

"I think you mean scenes," Namine corrected.

"Whatever. Point is, you know I'm right."

"I hate it when you are. It kind of scares me. What are you doing with your life?"

"Living."

"More like running, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt after everything. I want to thank you for being there for me. I can't imagine what you and Cloud went through."

"Just know that I'm glad you're still here today," her sister answered. It was the first time it sounded genuine and Namine wanted to cherish the moment. "Because now you're a star and we get to be amongst the rich." And it was over in a flash.

"We are not rich. I just started out this whole biz." The doorbell rang, making Namine answer it to see was on the other side. She had a feeling who it was already because they make regular appearances now. Plus the fact they were the only people she knew. "Hello guys," she said to all of her co-stars, minus Kairi. "Having you guys here is becoming the norm now. Will there ever be a day we get to hang out at one yours for a change?"

"Nah," they all casually answered.

"Besides, so many things tend to happen here," Hayner pointed out. "We just thought maybe another thing will occur."

"Whose home?" Pence asked.

"Just me and my sister. My parents had to go to a doctor's appointment today. Your timing is perfect though," Namine mentioned, walking back into her house, indicating the others were welcomed to come in. "We have something else to discuss now that we got last night out of the way."

"Yes, yes. It's about Kairi and we'll help you," Olette said. "We need to solve this as quickly as possible."

"Help me how?" Namine wondered.

"I'll handle things on my end while the others prepare you to butter up Kairi to make this whole thing go smoothly," Sora explained and Namine turned around to face him with question mark over her head.

"Basically we're taking you out to buy things for Kairi," Roxas continued. "If there's ever a time you can bribe your way, its through Kairi. She loves getting gifts."

"That's a start… I guess. Kind of superficial, but I'll take it if it'll get my foot in the door."

"All of us have done it at some point except Sora," Olette revealed. "Then again, he is the one that told us about it."

"You know, I'm a bit puzzled as for why she did it all. The fake relationship and her trying to be all close and intimate with Roxas. There has to be a reason."

"Hello, we all know," Roxas exclaimed "It was a publicity stunt for our show."

"I know that, but I feel like I'm missing something here. Sora, has she ever acted this way before?" Namine asked, focusing her attention on her friend. It caught off him guard for a bit, but he showed no sign of hesitation.

For a brief moment, he paused to think about it because he had seen Kairi in such a vulnerable state. However, he felt he shouldn't be the one giving answers. Instead, he went about it through a subtle way. "There was one time I took her to hang out because she didn't seem to be herself. I thought it might cheer her up that I even tried to go shopping with her, but she was out of it. Then at one point, she broke down out of the blue and I just had her cry on me to let it all out. It's not something you see everyday from her."

Namine crossed her arms as she was quite curious what caused her to breakdown. "When was this?"

"About two years ago."

"Huh… and you don't know anything about it?"

"No," he lied with a straight face.

May 2006

The May Upfronts were being held at its usual spot: Radiant Garden. The first season finale of Destiny Islands had air about a week ago, creating buzz as it was trying to established that this was no ordinary coming of age show. It was going to deal with real issues that not much viewers got to see, especially when majority of the cast were so young and actually playing their age. Most teenage characters were actors in their 20s or were approaching that age. The era of teenage shows seemed to be fading over the years after many failed attempts to recreate the magic of past successful ones. When the cast and crew were given the news that the network had renew Destiny Islands for a second season, it was a starting point on revitalizing the genre for a new generation of kids because it was starting to become popular amongst its target audience. It was certainly exciting news for everyone to hear.

The cast were going to numerous interviews along the red carpet before going inside the building for the panel to discuss the growing success and what direction their characters will be taking into the new season. In the midst of all the chaos, Kairi managed to grab Sora for a one-on-one before they had to go up on stage with everyone to discuss the show. She led him to a door he didn't know about, wondering what she wanted to show him so badly.

"Kairi, what is it that you want to show me?" he asked.

Kairi ignored his question and looked at her surroundings, scanning for anybody that was from the media. "Alright, the coast is clear," she said and focused her attention on her co-star. "I wanted you to meet someone, so I arranged this special meeting." Sora raised his brow, wondering what she meant until she opened to door to reveal a familiar face. "Sora, this is Ren and he's my boyfriend. We've been going out for over a year now," she happily confessed.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Sora said, shaking the guy's hand. "Kairi has never mentioned about being in a relationship, but she has talked about you before."

"Good to know I exist at least," he joked. "Dude, I can't believe I'm even here meeting you and all these famous people."

"I knew he wanted to meet you Sora, so this is why I arranged this."

"I was only kidding you know," Ren told her.

"Yeah, but I knew you wanted to meet him."

"Kairi, I'm sure he has a lot better things to do than meet me."

"You're being so stubborn."

"Sometimes you're pushy." Sora laughed in the background as he started to see the two bicker with each other.

Kairi gasped, shoving him by the shoulder. "I am not pushy! I try to steer people in the right direction. What good is success if you can't share it amongst your peers? And let me tell you, we're an awesome cast!"

"But then there's that Selphie girl," he smirked.

"Ah screw her! I'm sure she'll mess things up herself later on down the road."

Sora continued to chuckle in the background. "You seem to have someone special already," he told the two. "I guess we can easily shot down those rumors of us getting together on the set."

"No Sora," Kairi quickly replied. "You have to promise me to keep this a secret. I don't want the media to be all up in my relationship with Ren. We've been together for a year now. I'd like to see it through."

"You can trust me Kairi. Just make sure to hold on to him tight."

"I will," she replied and looked back at her boyfriend. "We both will." Then they both kissed each other until the door blew open out of the blue, revealing Rikku.

"I was trying to look for you guys! We almost have to go," she said until Kairi immediately yanked her arm and closed the door. "Hey! What's going on?!"

"What did you see?" she interrogated.

"You kissing this guy who seems to be your boyfriend?" she muttered, pointing to Ren. "I'm Rikku by the way," she greeted after, giving him a small wave. "And you are…?"

"Ren," he finished, flashing a smile at her.

"Ooh… someone who knows Kairi when they were children," Rikku's eyes gleamed, guiding him to a small sofa. "You must give me all the dirt you have on her. Like, did you ever pick on her?"

"I actually did," he happily answered. "One time I–."

"Ah, no, no, no, no!" Kairi squeaked, forcing herself between the two. "There won't be any of that!"

"Rikku, we have to go soon," Sora said, grabbing her as he started to drag himself and her toward the door. "It was great meeting you Ren! Hope to see you around!"

"We will meet again!" Rikku shouted until the two left the room and closed the door behind them.

Present Day

"Hold up," Roxas said aloud. "How come we're only hearing this now?"

"That's because Kairi told me not to tell anyone. You know how she is. She doesn't like to let her guard down that easily to people," Sora explained.

"But we're her friends," Pence argued. "She doesn't always have to come to you. There's us and she knows we would be there every step of the way."

"Not to mention ways to distract her from such problems," Olette added. "We've done it before."

"And gifts tend to help too," Hayner said.

"It's not that easy guys," Sora replied. "Kairi loves you all, she does, so don't get me wrong. It's just…" He stopped and held his breath for a small moment. The five of them were starting to ask him for answers to questions he can easily answer, but he felt the need to protect Kairi. He needed to talk to her first before anything else. It was the main reason why he wanted the others go with Namine to buy a present. It was a more of a distraction to give him more time to talk to Kairi one-on-one. He knew it was serious.

"Guys, Sora doesn't have all the answers," Namine intervened and it was relief for Sora to see her step in that he thanked her in his head. "He said it himself that he doesn't know why it happened. He was simply there for her. I mean, come on. Who would you first go to if you had a problem?" Everyone gave different answers. Roxas and Pence mentioned Sora, Olette said Kairi, and Hayner for Roxas. "See?"

"What about you Namine?" Roxas asked.

"That's easy. I go to my mom or Xion," she answered. "It depends on the situation on who I go to."

"I wished I knew what was wrong with her," Olette wondered. "Now it's going to bother me. Oh my god, Namine, we are going all out on this gift," she continued. "You're coming with me in my car! Let's go!" Namine was then yanked from her arm as the girls headed toward the door.

"Hold up! At least let me get my things!"

~ Our Life is Not a TV Show or Maybe ~

Winter 2006

Ren and Kairi were sitting next to each other on the sandy shores of a beach, watching the sunset. Majority of the shows on TV were on a winter break, meaning the cast had a chance to relax. It also gave the couple a chance to spend time together as Kairi flew in Ren and his family for a holiday vacation at the islands. At first, he declined, but she eventually persuaded him to come. They were away from the public and watched the sun almost setting along the horizon. Keeping an eye out on the two were Sora and Rikku since they were the only ones who knew about the two other than the parents.

"Can you believe its our anniversary?" Ren mentioned, feeling nostalgic, remembering the moment.

"I thought our anniversary was somewhere in the beginning of 2005?" Kairi questioned.

"Well I like to think the moment we kissed was it."

"Uh no. The day in the cafe is our anniversary!"

"But having it that night makes it all the more special," he smirked. "Besides, the cafe was our first date." Kairi playfully shoved him and he purposely landed face down in the sand to make it seem she did it too hard. "Oh my god! Ren!" After that, his body started to shake, indicating he was silently laughing in the ground. It made Kairi glare at him where he grabbed the back of his head and shoved his face deeper in the sand. "Oh no, it seems to me we're sitting in the middle of quick sand here," she said and all she heard were muffled sounds from him. "What on earth will we do?" she bluntly put it. After a few moments, Ren got out of her grasp and rolled Kairi over as sand toppled on her from him.

"Aren't you funny?"

"Well, I do get one of the best one-liners on the show," she smirked. "Isn't it nice we get a warm winter here in the islands?" she asked, trying to change the subject now while Ren rolled onto her side as they now looked into the orange sky.

"It really is a beautiful day," he said, looking at the clouds. "I can see why you like working here. This place is almost like paradise. Kind of makes me want to forget about what's been going on lately." Kairi gave him a puzzled look as she slightly turned over to look at him.

"Is everything alright Ren?"

"No," he answered, shaking his head. "My parents… they're getting a divorce." The news completely blindsided Kairi. She never would have sent his family down here if there were problems bubbling between the two. It must be awkward, but she couldn't imagine what her boyfriend was feeling too.

"What?! Then how come they agreed to come here? Everything seems fine between them."

"It's because of me. They are holding it together for me; their only child."

"Ren… I'm so sorry to hear about that. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I mean, the thought of your parents splitting up has to be hard on you."

"You have no idea, but it's my problem. You don't have to put yourself through it because of me."

"Sure, but you know I'm always here for you, right?"

"But we're hardly see each other now," he sadly confessed.

"You know this is part of the job."

"Yeah, but what good is it if we can't see each other that much?"

"Relax, that doesn't mean I can't make time for you when you need someone the most. We'll figure something out," she assured him. "We always do."

"Promise?"

"I promise," she said back, giving him a peck on the lips.

Present Day

Kairi was at the same beach staring off into the distance. It's been a while since she visited this beach. Actually, anything related to her old boyfriend she avoided unless it was for work, which happened before. Then out of nowhere, she heard a car nearby and already knew who it was without even looking. She could sense the footsteps behind her getting closer and knew what the conversation was going to about. She was prepared because she knew Sora will always be looking for her. "I thought I might find you here," he claimed, taking an empty to sit to her. He didn't say anything as the two stared off into the ocean, hearing nothing, but the waves crashing and the wind blowing through them. "It's been a long time since I last saw you here."

"It sure has," she replied. "Remember when I used to drag you and Rikku here to keep an eye out for people who don't know? I missed those times. I miss Rikku too. And the others."

"We are close to our special episode," Sora said. "And with news getting out that there'll be returning characters, it's going to be big."

"Minus Selphie," Kairi added, making the two giggle with each other.

"Namine's birthday is coming up too."

"About that, how were things once I revealed that photo?"

"Alright, we can talk about the events that transpired after you placed that photo first, if we can talk about what's been going with you lately after that outburst on set. Deal?"

"You just love to get right to the issue, huh?"

"In case you wanted to know, the others are helping her put together an apology for you while I said I was gonna talk to you and I am."

"I expect a great gift by the end of today."

"And in response to your question, yes, I finally got the answers I needed. And so did Namine. Thanks to the picture you planted in your trailer, she was demanding answers and wasn't letting it go until she did."

"I'm guessing she never knew about this missing year of hers either, huh?"

"We spent all night yesterday learning what happened and I got a chance to talk to her alone about it all. She apologized for everything, but I said she shouldn't be because there's nothing to be sorry about."

"What exactly happened to her?"

"I kind of don't want to get into that right now. I'm still reeling in about it since this was only last night."

"Right… but did you get closer or something? I was sensing some romantic feelings that you had for her."

"And I'm so glad to shut you down from that comment. No, I don't like her. Not like that. I made clear of that too to her. At the end of it all, I just missed her, you know. We were close, so it'd be a shame to waste what we had and not build from it."

"You're welcome," Kairi smirked.

"For what?"

"If it wasn't for me, then none of yesterday wouldn't have happened. I'm brilliant."

"Aren't you just proud of yourself, but no, what I really wanted to talk about was before all that." A small silence brushed up against the two as Kairi never responded. "Yeah, we're getting into it now since I held my end of the bargain. What the hell were you thinking?" he snapped, but she expected it. "And the things you said to Namine… you went too far this time."

"I know…" she sadly admitted, which shocked him, and she buried herself in her arms. "God, this is so infuriating," she continued, rising her head up and rested her chin her knees. "You and I both know it's the truth. I kept up with the charade because Roxas was the closest I had to a relationship."

"No," Sora disagreed. "Ren was. Roxas was what you forced yourself to believe after everything. You can't just forget about Ren like that Kairi."

"Forgetting was easier than feeling it."

"Because running away is the answer to everything," Sora mocked.

"I like to think so, but it never is, right? If you ask me, the most drama I've dealt with is within our show. It seems so much easier to deal with than reality."

"We're a drama, so of course you would, but it's not real. We act what's on script."

"But aren't they supposed to be based on struggles people our age deal with?"

"Acting it and living it are two different things, but you can take away something from both by learning from them. When I was given such a serious storyline last season, I went and did my research on how people dealt with depression. I have never felt more remorse than ever. Sure, I don't know truly how it feels, but that doesn't mean I can't immerse myself in it, get in those shoes and portray it the best, realistic way possible, and have it speak to those who need it."

"So what's my storyline?" Kairi scoffed. "Brokenhearted girl uses her friend to forget about her problems. What do you call that?" Sora didn't answer her question because the answer was obvious to him.

Spring 2007

At this time of the year, schools in most places were on spring break. It gave Kairi and Ren a chance to be with each other again because its been months since they last saw each other. Their only form of contact was through text messages. There had been a few occasions where they talked over the phone, but long distance charge rates were a bit expensive unless it after nine. However, there was the time difference to consider where he was ahead of her, meaning he would have to stay up later than usual just to speak to her. It was difficult these days to maintain the relationship. At first it seemed alright, but its proven to be troublesome for the two. They are doing their best to keep things going. Now, the two had a date Ren planned because Kairi was coming to visit when she got a small break from work. There was just one small thing missing. "Kairi, where the heck are you?" he asked over the phone because was sitting by himself. She was an hour late, and his patience was growing thin.

"What are you talking about?" she answered.

"Our date? Don't you remember?"

"I gave you my schedule."

"It says you're off today."

"It does?" Kairi trailed off.

"Kairi!" Ren softly shouted into his phone. "You know how any time with you is important to me. It's the only few times I get to see you before one of us has to leave."

"Something last minute came up! We had to reshot a scene," she explained. "Alright, scenes, but that doesn't change things. It's been pretty brutal these couple of weeks."

"At least have the decency to give me a call or something about it. Or I wouldn't be waiting for over an hour here for you."

"An hour? Why didn't you just leave or call sooner?"

"I thought you were on the plane or something."

"I'm not even there."

"But you do still plan to come here, right?"

"I can't fly out now. There have been so many rewrites in this episode and the new ones too. I'm gonna have to stay a little longer than I thought. I am sorry about this, but it can't be helped when we live in different parts of the world."

"And if you can't?"

"I'll make it up to you the next time we see each other."

"But I need you here right now. Things haven't been all unicorns and rainbows at home lately, so I thought waiting to see you this day would make up for it. You know how hard it is for me as I constantly have to deal with my parents bickering with each other." Ren stopped to catch his breath and he was getting angry at himself for taking out his anger at his girlfriend. "We promised to figure this whole thing out," he calmly said.

"And we will, but just not right now. I will however say to keep a look out on what we're gonna do on our show. You're gonna be so proud and its all thanks to you." There was a small pause as Ren heard voices in the background, especially one telling her she needed to go back to work. "I have to go now. This episode we're working on is getting crazy. I can't wait for you to see it and what else we have in store. And hey, I promise I'll get back to you."

"Yeah…" Ren trailed off. "I'll make sure to tune in," he replied with a small hint sadness to his voice, but Kairi never caught it as she hung up already. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. This was the first time she couldn't make, so he felt he had to let it slide except he wasn't sure if this was going to be the only time either. With Kairi being a full-time actress on a successful show, time seemed to be limited now with her. He was aware of it, but it seemed to be slowly hitting him harder than he initially thought.

~ Our Life is Not a TV Show or Maybe ~

Winter 2007

It was Christmas once again, only this time, Ren came by himself to see Kairi. There has been some distance between the two lately, but they never spoke about it or acknowledge it either. Ren was doing his best to spend time with her while Kairi tried to balance work and her personally life, but work seemed to win at every moment. Normally he would talk about his days back at home and school while she held conversations about her job and anything behind the scenes. It's been like that for the past year even if everything seemed fine between the two. It was better being together than apart and it's not like he could just move out to the islands for her. He was sure his parents wouldn't allow it now that they were officially divorced and he juggled between the two. It was frustrating and he was still getting used to it.

Now, the two were in Kairi's house, in her room, watching TV, relaxing on the bed in each other's arms. They've been binge watching other shows, but namely Destiny Islands. "Oh my god! Wasn't that exciting?!" Kairi exclaimed. "I know it happens way before everyone else, but to see the finished product still gets me. It's like I never get tired of seeing us on the screen. Entering high school sure has changed things."

"So now they're pushing you and Roxas now?" Ren curiously asked. "I don't know about that. You and Sora seem better."

"It is strange, but I find it interesting too. I guess the writers saw some chemistry in me and Roxas."

"We've been sitting in this bed for a while now," Ren groaned. "I think my butt has grown numb. We should talk a walk outside"

"Aww… but I like laying here with you. It's one of those rare times I get to just rest in bed and not worry about work right now."

"It's nice out. Besides, no one will be paying attention at this hour of the night."

And so they went out for a walk. Just in case, the two never held hands despite being the only ones outside, side-by-side, and nearly looking like a couple already. Ren grew up taller from what Kairi remembered. The bottom of his chin was almost going to be higher than her whole height and he was getting slightly bigger in terms of body mass. She thought he was like Jack Skellington. She was growing too, but it seemed to be slow or the fact she was a girl with parents who weren't as tall as her boyfriend. "Hey, um, I never did get to thank you for what you did," Ren said.

"For what?"

"The storyline about your character's parents getting a divorced. For a bit, I thought it was coincidence, then I started to see the similarities between the two and I figured you must've gotten the writers to do it based on me."

"Oh, yeah… that. I'm sorry I never told you in advance. That's why I was busy during the spring. We were filming those kinds of scenes. It seemed better to keep it a secret because I wanted to surprise you. I did say I wanted to make you proud and hearing it from you now, it is satisfying."

"True," he sighed. "I am flattered that you did that for me. It shows what you guys are doing is speaking to people who may need it. But…" Ren stopped himself from talking any further about the issue.

"But what? What were you going to say?"

"It's nothing," he lied. "Just forget about it."

"Hello, I am your girlfriend and I know when something's up." Right after, Kairi's cellphone started to ring, interrupting the silent night. "You are so lucky this is my publicist, but we are going to talk about it," she claimed, trying to get her phone out of her pocket. "Hi, its Kairi. Yes… yes… maybe, but—oh! We can totally do the interview! I'm free till we start filming again, so set it up as soon as possible!" By the she hung up, Ren gave her a disappointed look. "What? What's with your face?"

"You're free until filming starts again? I'm here. Couldn't you lie or something?"

"Hey now, I need get as much as coverage I can get to give our show more exposure."

"You guys seem to doing fine now. You're always in the top ten every time."

"Top five," she quickly corrected.

"Ohkay… but can't we just spend as much time as possible? I can't follow you everywhere for work or people will start to question everything."

"Sora and Rikku do a fine job in hiding our relationship. It's not just me."

"And I'm fine with not going public for you, but time is precious to me when I don't live here."

"But this interview is important to me," she countered. "It's a popular morning talk show and I won't be alone. I get to bring one of my co-workers with me, so it's no biggie. I don't want to be hogging all the spotlight. It's not how we do things."

"I guess…" Ren trailed off. "But I still think it's best you don't go. You're already successful. Am I not enough to give you a reason to stay?"

"Hey, I can take you with me! Duh! Problem solved!" Kairi thought, completely ignoring what he just said.

Ren sighed, doing his best to further hide his disappointment in his girlfriend. "Yeah… problem solved…" he replied, forcing a smile.

Present Day

Namine and Olette left the store to browse through the rest of the mall to look for the boys who were off in buying some of Kairi's favorite treats. This apology thing was starting to become a wagon instead of some simple basket of gifts. Minutes later, they saw the boys resting and chatting with each other on a bench. "We should've dragged one of the boys with us because these bags are becoming quite the workout," Namine let out, wishing she had some water.

"I should've huh? Let's just go meet up with them," Olette said, walking ahead of Namine.

Just as Namine was about pick up the pace, someone approached her with a bouquet of roses. Her first instinct in identifying the unknown individual was if he or she was a fan of the show, but mostly toward her based on the flowers. She wasn't sure if she should accept it due to the lack of free hands that were filled with strings of bags or simply because she was a bit skeptic. "You're Namine from Destiny Islands, right?" the tall, black haired teenager asked. He appeared to be the same age as her.

"Yes I am, and you are?" she asked, looking up at him as he towered over her.

"Let's just say I'm a fan," he answered. "And I was wondering if you could give these to Kairi."

"You're quite lucky today because I am going to see her later on." Namine was slightly disappointed that the roses weren't her for though. "Let me just move some of these bags to my other hand and—."

"I'll help you with that," he intervened, grabbing a hold of the bags she was transferring over.

"Thank you. You're too kind."

"You're the new girl, right?"

"Pretty much. I've only been working since the start of this year and let me you, this world of celebrities and fame is overwhelming. I'm still working out the kinks."

"It really is another world."

From a distance, Namine stared at her co-workers and saw all of them talking to each other where Olette was handing out the bags to every one of them. They appeared to dread the idea judging by their faces and gestures, but they were carrying nothing, so they had no excuse to deny. "Did you want to get a personal message sent to Kairi?" Namine asked the teen. "I can definitely promise you that. After all, I am a fan and I believe you guys are important to us as the people who help make our job possible."

"No, that's alright. I believe the roses are enough."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. She'll get the message on them alone."

"You seem pretty confident with yourself. Did you want to swoon her with them?"

"Maybe. Maybe not," the guy smiled. "Roses seem to be a nice gesture towards girls from what I've seen."

"You're right about that. For a minute, I thought they were for me," Namine laughed off. "As a personal favor, did you want to meet the others?"

"Who me? No, I'm fine. I have somewhere else that I need to be, so I guess this is goodbye. It was nice meeting you Namine."

"And it was nice meeting you too," she said back as he left her and blended in amongst the crowd while she joined back with her co-stars.

~ Our Life is Not a TV Show or Maybe ~

Spring 2008

Ren was sitting by himself at a table. It was Kairi's turn to be visiting him, and as usual, she had yet to show up despite being given a designated time to be at their date that he set up. He remembered how this was the same situation last year when she didn't show up at all. It was starting to become a drag for him. He felt he was being physically and emotionally drained by their relationship that he has thought numerous times whether to end it or not. It was a tough decision because he did care about Kairi. He wasn't sure if she was in it as much as he was. In case she didn't show up, he ordered food already, and for her since he knew what she liked, because he was getting hungry. It did slightly surprise him when she eventually did show up in a little disguise to mask her appearance where she had rimless glasses and a short blonde hair wig on, giving off a studious, smart look. Compared to Destiny Islands, or anywhere else, celebrities get easily stormed with people and the paparazzi.

"I am so sorry that I'm late. With our season finale coming up, we've been busy in wrapping things until fall comes back. I'm so happy we got an early renewal. It means we get to keep our job for another year!" she cheered.

"That's great," he said, drinking his water, sounding like he didn't care except she never picked up his tone.

"Although I have thought about leaving once my contract expires," she continued. "Our show ending with high school graduation makes sense if it comes down to that. I mean, hello, I want to get a chance to play other characters."

"So try do movies like Sora does in his spare time," Ren suggested. "He manages."

"But then I wouldn't have time for you."

"Not like its happening already," he muttered under his breath to make sure she didn't hear him.

"It would be exciting to try and do other roles to have people take me more serious. I can't keep playing the same character forever."

"What if you were to take a small break?"

"A small break? Don't be silly Ren. If I do that, I'll eventually fade and people may forget about me."

"It wouldn't hurt to spend with people you care about after working for so long. It can do you good," he explained, trying to convince to consider the option. He was hoping she would because he felt they were at a breaking point and her answer can determine their future.

"Hold up, I gotta take this call," she said as her phone started to ring again, frustrating Ren even further. From there, Kairi spent a great amount of time on the phone while they had dinner. It was pretty much silent the whole time as she talked on and on to somebody about her career and her upcoming schedule. She even tried to eat the food Ren ordered for her during the conversation and not once did she take a look at him. He threw a few glances at her to see when she would finish. To him, he felt she was becoming a stranger to him, and the only person truly at the table was him. By the time, Kairi got off the phone, they both had finished their meals and Ren immediately requested for the check, paying for the whole thing. Then later on, the two were walking down the sandy shores of a beach at night alone. The weather seemed to be forgiving as the temperature wasn't too cold for either one of them to be shivering to their bones. It was certainly calm.

"It's amazing no one recognizes me in this disguise," Kairi mentioned. "Imagine if there was some blonde version of me walking around. I think she would be great as me."

"Yeah… I bet," he whispered, seemingly not into making a conversation as another moment of silence swept between the two. Minutes started to pass by and not one of them spoke up. The silence was daunting because there was only one thing to truly to talk about and it was the elephant in the room. "Am I enough for you?" Ren asked out of the blue, making the two to look at each other.

"What do you mean?" Kairi asked, tilting her head.

"This. Everything."

"I have you. Is that what you mean?"

"No… it's not," he answered, shallowing the lump in his throat. "This whole relationship. I know you're here, but it always feels like your mind is somewhere else every time."

"Ren, you knew what you were getting into when we started to date."

"I thought so too, but then your fame blew up, and its changed you."

"I did not change. I am still the same old Kairi."

"The same old Kairi was never this busy and making or answering calls in the middle of our dates. My girlfriend's TV boyfriend spends more time with her than me."

"We're not even seeing each other."

"You know what I mean."

"I can't just quit my job for you. This is the start of my career!" she argued. "And I can't help, but feel like you're not supportive of that."

"What are you talking about? Of course I am. Do you have any idea how many times I let things slide for you? I did it at dinner earlier. I can't believe you don't think I support in whatever you do."

"But that's what it feels like."

"No, it is not. I am just tired of it if I can't seem to be a priority for you when it calls for it."

"Look, I know it's hard, but I thought we were fine about all this?"

"I thought we—I was fine with it, but it is getting exhausting to keep up with you."

"Hey, we promised we figure things out ourselves to make this relationship work."

"What the hell did we know back then? You can't even meet me halfway. Why is it always me reaching out and pushing things? I constantly do it again and again."

"I fly you out to the islands." she pointed.

"Because I always asked how do you wanna spend our time off and you always say to come on down since it's easier for you."

"Don't you love me?" she blurted out.

"W-what?" Ren stammered as his widen in shock.

"Do you love me?" she repeated and the look in Kairi's eyes meant she was serious.

"I… I…" He was lost at words. No matter what his answer may be, he couldn't help, but feel like both will lead to a heartache. If he said yes, he only imagined the endless pain of the only one participating in the relationship as always. The opposite would lead to a closer end and maybe that was best because it was true. "I'm sorry, but I don't."

"You don't?" Kairi blinked a few times to process his answer.

"It's not a word I want to throw around like it's nothing. I want to say it and mean it, especially to you. The only thing holding me back is if you truly mean those words."

"Love is a strong word. We've been together for three years now. What's wrong saying it now?"

"Because love can also break people. That four letter word has destroyed more people than I can imagine. After all, look at me, my parents are divorced. Some of my friends at school parents either separated or is a single parent, raising them by themselves. I don't want to end up like them."

"You are not your parents," Kairi cried.

"But it feels like we want different things. We're already drifting apart," Ren whimpered. He stopped for a small moment to catch his breath as this was the breaking point. "I'm tired of it all. A breakup makes the most sense to do now, but it is also the hardest thing to do. I don't want it, but I don't know how much I can take this if you can't be there for me when I need you."

"I have been there for you. Don't you remember what I did for you on our show? You inspired a storyline to connect people like you."

"And I'm thankful, but you also tend to quickly change the subject back to you as if mines wasn't that much important to talk about."

"Please… don't do this," Kairi begged, feeling the water works as she already knew where this whole conversation was heading. "You are the one thing that isn't as complicated for me . You get me more than anyone else does."

"This is hard for me as much it is for you," he cried out. "I care so much about you Kairi. I really do, but I just can't do it anymore. Not like this. I can't be in a relationship if you can't seem to be in it if it's always going to be convenient for you or about you or anything about your job."

"We can work past this Ren… we can," Kairi sobbed, grabbing a hold of his hands as they both started to break down on each other, doing their best to hold back their tears, trembling in fear. "This is just a rough patch, you know." Ren closed his eyes, placing his forehead on hers as he could feel both their hands shaking because the pain was too much to bear with both their hearts sinking. "T-this can't be it…" she sniveled.

"Then how come it is?" Ren's voice cracked as tears rolled down his cheek.

Present Day

"This may have started as a publicity stunt, but you turned it into an opportunity to use Roxas for your own gain," Sora told Kairi.

"Yes, I used Roxas to forgot about Ren. To distract myself that he didn't exist, and let me tell you, it was working until Namine came into the picture. Then he drifted off into being with her more and all these memories and feelings came rushing back to me. I just wanted it all to stop. I don't want to feel it!"

"And you're doing such a great job at it," Sora scorned. "What if we never met Namine? Would we even be here?"

"We are because of her," she spat. "I mean, look at us. Still working when we're normally done at this point. I knew we shouldn't have hire a new person this late into the season. It's been nothing, but troublesome."

Sora couldn't help, but roll his eyes. "If you ask me, I think having her around has been a good thing, especially for you. And me. For the past two years, I've let you do whatever because I thought it was your way of dealing with things. Its been nothing, but smoke and mirrors. Nothing's been resolved because you don't like to talk about it."

"I was fine. I managed the pain. You think I want to relive that moment of misery?"

"And you think pain is weakness?"

"Yes! Look at me Sora!" she exclaimed, getting up on her feet. "Is this what everyone thinks of me? I'm supposed to be tough as nails, confident, bold, and fabulous to most people because I am. They don't see this whiney girl Sora. I'm not that type of person who loses it, especially over some boy! I am supposed to be stronger than this."

"And you are," Sora replied, getting up to her level. "But if you can't get through this, then you won't get anywhere."

"Then what do you want from me?! Do you want me to lose it? Do you want me to fall apart? Break down and become a mess? Is that what you want? No! I don't be like that again!"

"All you did was shove it all down, sat it aside, and used Roxas as a distraction. How many times do we have to go through this? You lost someone you cared about because it was your own wrong doing. Can you at least acknowledge that, please?"

"I don't want to feel this. I can feel it creeping back up right now and I… I just can't," Kairi whimpered, rubbing the side of her arm with her free hand.

"Then feel it. It is completely normal. You're not just a celebrity Kairi, you're a person. A person who has feelings. You say you blame yourself, then fine, do it. Fall apart and I'm here. I'm here. I want you to accept it and move on."

"NO!" Kairi wailed, slamming her arms at Sora until she dropped down to her knees and started to cry. Sora closed his eyes and bite his lip as he heard Kairi sobbed down on his feet. "It's my fault…" she finally let out while Sora bend down to hug her. "I did this to myself…"

"You're going to be alright," he comforted as she continued to cry and scream in pain, wrapping her arms around him for comfort. "You're going to be okay. It's completely normal to feel like this. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Not far from the two, all of their friends were watching the whole time, staring off into distance, feeling the sense of sorrow in Kairi's speech, her tone, and her story. Earlier, Sora texted Namine of their whereabouts because he knew him and Kairi weren't going to leave the beach anytime soon. All five of them were lined up, carrying the very gifts they managed to get from the mall. It was a startling moment to see her this vulnerable for them, including Namine. It kind of was odd for her to see it, but needed to remember that all of her new celebrity friends had feelings too. Real feelings that everyone needed to feel whatever it may be. She slowly approached the two herself with the bouquet of roses she got from the teenage fan and by the time she got to them, Kairi was still in agony.

"I am so sorry about everything," Namine apologized, bending down to her knees in the sand. It made Kairi slowly open her eyes to see her and her sobbing stopped for a bit. "And what I said to you… you lost someone you cared about and I can't imagine what that must feel like no matter whose fault it is."

"It's okay Namine," Kairi muttered. "I don't know what it is like to truly love someone because I ended up screwing my own chances at it. Sora's right, I need to move on and let it all go," she continued, sniffling from her nose as she still wrapped herself around Sora.

"Hey Kairi…" Roxas slowly greeted, joining in. "I'm… I'm sorry. I was wrong to think you were all delusional about our stupid fake relationship. I had it all wrong."

"You got nothing to apologize for Roxas. You've been a great friend to me and the others," she replied, referring to the others as they approached her. "Sorry you had to see me like this," she forced a small laugh.

"To make you feel better, these are from a loving fan," Namine said, presenting the roses to her and it quickly piqued her interest.

"Roses? How did you know they're my favorite flowers?"

"Even I didn't know that," Sora said, looking at them, puzzled at it.

"I didn't. Like I said, a fan wanted to give you these." Kairi curiously reached out one hand where it slowly rummaged through the pile of flowers to find a certain item inside. After about half a second, she found a small note by the time her other friends arrived.

"There was a note in there?" Pence said, noticing the paper in between his friend's fingers.

"I'm starting to think this was more than a normal fan if you knew about that," Hayner pointed out.

"What does it say?" Olette asked. Kairi stared at the note and knew who this fan was. It was no doubt Ren. She slowly started to open up the folded piece of paper and noticed his handwriting had improved compared to before. It was more legible than the chicken scratch one he had a couple years ago. She did tell him to fix his handwriting or someone may read it wrong or he would get in trouble. She was a bit surprised he managed to fit so many words, but normally his 'tiny' notes were folded to the smallest piece it can be.

Hi Kairi,

It's been a while hasn't it? I'm sure you know who this is given the red roses this note was in. I wonder how you've doing these days and by the looks of things, it seems a lot has gone down in the past two years. You're probably wondering why am I writing to you after all this time. When I heard you and Roxas 'broke up,' I wondered what it meant after you two somehow got 'together' after what happened between us. For a moment, I thought you were using him to get over me. And if that's the case… I don't entirely blame you for everything. I was at fault as much as you because I couldn't handle it and a relationship seemed to be the least of your worries. It was best we went our own ways before it ended worse than it already was. I still care about you. I truly mean it. We may not be each other's lives anymore, but that doesn't mean we don't deserve happiness. Even if it's not in each other.

So please, get back on your feet and be you. It's the least you can do for me.

– Ren

"It's like he knew the whole time," Sora said.

"You're forgetting he knew me better than you did."

"He did. It's been two years Kairi," Sora mentioned. For a small moment, there was nothing, but silence in the air as Kairi started at all at her friends who surrounded her at her time of need. The pain was slowly melting off of her as she felt the warmth of her friends. "It's time to let go," Sora continued, placing his hand on hers as he looked at her with sincerity. For a long time, she finally felt she could breathe as she recalled every memory of her and Ren. She felt bitter thinking about them since their relationship ended on a terrible note, but despite all that, there was one she can't help, but smile at.

Winter 2004

It was the middle of December and a dance was being held for a school of students. The school's gymnasium was turned into a ballroom where the colors white and blue dominated the entire room from the decorations, to the tables, to the required attire for everyone to wear. The chaperones, or the staff of the school in this case, were watching from the side, the eight graders were mainly on the dance floor mixed with some seventh graders while the newbies, the sixth graders were either eating or watching everyone else dance. Kairi was amongst those very people, staring off into the distance not knowing what to do. She was rather forced to attend the dance by her parents to experience something kids her age do to take a break from all the commercials and kid roles she's been doing lately. As she took a sip of water from her cup, Ren came into her field of vision.

"May I have this dance?" he smiled, offering his hand. Kairi gave him a strange look, wondering if she should take his offer. She's known him for quite some time and wondered if he was going to pull some elaborate prank on her in the middle of the dance. She was quite skeptic.

"What?" she responded. "You're kidding right?"

"Aww, what's the matter? Does the big time actress Kairi think she's too good for schools dances? Or people like me?"

"Aspiring, and yes, maybe I do," she replied, crossing her arms.

"Or you don't know how to dance at all," he remarked, causing Kairi's eye to be fueled with fire at his comment.

"I do too!" she argued, getting up from her seat.

"Then prove it," Ren challenged, still holding out his hand that Kairi gladly took and dragged him to the dance floor with the other kids. "My, my, my. Someone's very eager to prove a point," he said as she wrapped his arms around him.

"Shut up," she spat, but she clearly didn't know how to proceed because she didn't know how to dance. She tried to move around and posed like those ballroom dancers she saw on TV and other pictures, but it came off awkward especially when Ren stayed in one place.

"I'm sensing someone lied and doesn't know how to dance," he grinned, picking up on her little white lie.

"I didn't lie. It was more of a fib," she countered, staring at him.

"A lie is a lie," he said where he slowly started to guide without her noticing. He would step back a little and she would step forward, and they would go back and forth with each other, slowly circling around. "And this isn't one of your little roles where people just magically know how to dance."

"I never danced in my life."

"No way?" he sarcastically responded. "I had no clue the great Kairi Mizushima did not know how to dance. So why are you here again?"

"Trust me, if I had the chance to not be here, I would. I rather be filming some commercial or show than dance here with you," she explained.

"Hmph, I think you can do better than those weird commercials you do. You need to do other things than selling us cereal."

"They're very nutritious for you."

"Because sugary cereals like oreo screams healthy?" he questioned, raising his brow.

"You're mean," she pouted, making him laugh.

"I always like making fun of you."

"You're still mean," she repeated, looking into those brown eyes of his. She later noticed she was actually dancing to him while a mellow jam played in the background, but she didn't say anything. She continued to look at him and he started to look at her too. She noticed and quickly turned her head the other way where Ren silently giggled at her reaction because she felt herself blushing. She didn't know how to describe what she was feeling as her body tingled. She wasn't sure if it was the music or what they were doing, but it almost felt like anything could happen at any moment with their arms wrapped around each other.

"Kairi…" Ren let out, slowly turning her head to his. Before she realized it, he started to lean in and closed the gap between the two as he placed his lips on hers and a flash appeared, indicating someone took a photo of the two. None bothered as Ren moved his back to see Kairi's reaction in which she was stunned, but a smile formed on her lips and he did the same as the two continued to dance.

And that ends that. It was a difficult chapter to write compared to the previous one. It mainly had to do with the ages of Kairi and Ren because they were so young at the time and me trying to wrap it up one go. In other news, this story is going to be on a small hiatus until I can present a good amount of chapters to present on a weekly basis like I did before. I'm sure you guys noticed the same thing happened at the end of last year. In the meantime, what do you guys think so far?

Thanks for reading and leave a review or any thoughts if you can!