Disclaimer: Fool you once: shame on me. Fool you twice: shame on you. Fool you three times: do I get to claim this is absolutely 100% the genius of Creare and me, nobody else involved in anyway whatsoever? If yes, read on and praise our awesomeness; if no, see one of the previous disclaimers.

As always, Creare has rendered Brutus' lines and I Cassius'.

Act V, scene i

CASSIUS: Nao, ++nobil Brutus, teh celing catz b on our sied purrign 4 us soz we can live 2 b old adn hav an ambigoous relashunship ;) . . . but bcuz teh mortul kittehs do not no wut will happen, we shud hav a plan 2. if we r gettin pwnd, Brutus iz doin what?

BRUTUS: U remembr when mai wierd unkle kitteh clazord hiself 2 deth I was liek DO NOT WANT and then I maded sum filosofie adn eated it? Iz moar brave adn hourble 2 nom filosofiez w/Xtra preservativs adn B pwnd by Sum High PWNers (even if they poop on ur hed) than 2 clawzor ur own stomac 2 iscape them :P .

CASSIUS: soz if we getz pwnd, iz ok if u r draggd on a leesh thru Rome?

BRUTUS: O NOES DO NOT WANT!1!11 U no think Brutis evr B putted on teh leash adn draggd thru Rome: his furz R 2 shiny. But 2day weer goin 2 hav 2 eithr go in or owt uv teh door we opnd on teh ides uv march, adn maybe weer not 2B seen each uther again :( . So we shud say gudbie nao, just in case. 4evr&4evr fairwell, Cassiuz. If we meet agin, weel share teh sunnee spot adn eat cheezburgurs tgther; if not, whai then, is gud we hav said gud gudbai nao.

CASSIUS: 4evr&4evr faerwel, Brutus. if we b meteing agin, tehn we will defnitlee share teh suny spot adn the chezebrgurs; if not, u r rite taht iz gud 2 sai gudby nao.

BRUTUS: o that a kitteh mite know who will be nommin teh cookiez Bfore he maekz them! But, is enuf that the cookiez be nommd, adn then teh nommer be knowed.