Angeline Fowl was acting very strangely. Her normally serene smile was rather twitchy, and she must have smoothed down her long blond hair at least seventeen times. When Juliet had knocked over a paper holder with an excessively, even for her, extravagant movement, Artemis' mother had jumped up like a startled cat.

"Mother," Artemis Fowl the Second eyed her suspiciously, "is something the matter?"

Angeline laughed nervously, her voice shrill, "I'm perfectly fine! What would make you think otherwise?"

Even Butler looked up from his newspaper to give her a disbelieving look.

Juliet, who had been twirling around the living room absentmindedly and humming, pulled the lollipop from her lips with a loud pop! "If you tell us, we might be able to help," the girl offered. "We've got brain," she pointed to Artemis, "brawn," she nodded towards Butler, "and style!" she proclaimed, with a thumb to her chest. "We're like, totally invincible!"

Butler sighed. More and more often these days, he wondered, where did he go wrong? Artemis resisted rolling his eyes, an action unbefitting a young master. However, the cheesy declaration seemed to work on Angeline.

"It's my cousin - well, cousin twice removed. She is, was, living with her son in this old apartment, and the pipes burst. So now they have nowhere to go," she blurted out.

"And I might have," Angeline continued sheepishly, "invited them to stay at the Fowl Manor until the whole mess is resolved."

Artemis shrugged one elegant shoulder, "I'm sure Father won't mind if you explain their circumstances. When are they arriving?"

"That's the thing," Angeline explained.

The doorbell rang.

She winced, "Now."

"But Mooooooom," Apollo whined, aware that he sounded like a five-year-old and really not caring at the moment. "I don't wanna go."

"Nonsense, Angeline has a son your age. I'm sure you'll get along smashingly," she smiled at him through the rear view mirror.

"I bet he's a rich snob," he muttered. Images of slicked back hair and pointy features came to mind.

"Apollo Wells!" his mother admonished. "Angeline was very kind in letting us stay with her on such a short notice. You will not disrespect anyone in her family."

He rolled his eyes and slunk down in his seat. Stupid pipes, bursting when you needed them. Sure their apartment was cramped and in poor condition, but it was all theirs. Even worse, there were no other homes for sale that they could afford. He knew the Fowl Manor was his only choice, but it still pissed him off.

His mom was stubborn like that. And although she could be intuitive, she was also quite dense at times.

Carol Wells was looking very house-wifey. Her wavy auburn hair was in a ponytail, and paint splattered jeans were covered by an apron. She whistled cheerfully while flipping pancakes expertly. Apollo, who was standing hesitantly by the door to the kitchen, bit his lip. "Mom, I-" he started.

She looked over at him, "Come sit down, honey. I made pancakes, your favorite!"

Apollo walked over like a robot and sat. He figured it was now or never.

"I have blueberry, chocolate chip-"

Apollo took a deep breath. "Mom, I'm gay."

Carol didn't even turn around. She continued talking, "Well, that's wonderful, I'm happy today too. Now, did you want syrup or strawberry sauce?"

Her son rubbed his forehead. How to get through to her...

"I'm coming out of the closet," he tried.

She said gently, as if he were one of her more stupid art clients, "We're in the kitchen, Apollo. Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think I'm feeling a little, ah, well, queer," Apollo stated frustrated.

His mom put the back of her hand to his forehead. She shook her head, "Your temperature's normal."

"I am a HOMO."

"It's not like you're a plant, silly!"

"Christ, not Sapien, sexual! I LIKE BOYS! And not in a friendly sense. As in, um, I want to have sex with them?

She stared.

"Not now, I mean. Later maybe, uh, I promise to use protection?"

Good god this was awkward. He needed to break the ice..

"Did I mention that I was gay?"

No! Not like that. Shit.

"Oh," she blinked. "I know."

"And you're probably disgusted and ashamed and wait, what? Did you just say.." he trailed off confused.

"It was quite obvious, dear," Carol Wells began setting the dishes. "I've known since you were in first grade, and you cried when Mary Lewis tried to kiss you."

Apollo was suddenly very weary. "You're not mad? You don't hate me?"

"Of course not. It took me a while to get used to the fact that I wasn't getting any grandchildren, but I could never hate you," she smiled.

He smiled back at her, "Thanks, mom."

"Pancakes?" she offered.

He leaned his head on the window and sighed. He would just have to get used to his new life.

I'm posting some of my old stories. And I mean OLD. Er, yeah. Sorry about not updating the other stories.

Review?