Sparkling Fags

"Alucard, as I'm sure you've noticed, vampires are beginning to…sparkle. Like fags. Have you any idea what is happening?" Integra asked.

"Yes, I've herd that a woman by the name Stephenie Meyer has wrote a book about vampires that sparkle," Alucard said.

"Well, what can we do? I don't want you to turn into a faggot. I have also found that some of the male vampires develop, well, a manjina." Integra said.

"Well, it would be pointless to try and burn the books; they print thousands of copies everyday, so we'll have to go to the source. Come on police girl, we are taking a trip."

"This is it," Police Girl said.

"Very good." Alucard snickered. They were at the door of Stephenie Meyer's house. Alucard kicked down the door to reveal the Twilight vampires! Alice turned to hug Alucard, but Alucard pulled his gun out and shot her in the head before she could.

"Alice! Why you!" Jasper cried. Alucard shot many rounds of his gun, and soon there was a large pile of dead vampire-fags. Emmet, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and Bella were all dead.

"But wait," Police Girl said, "Wasn't there another one?"

Alucard busted the bathroom door down.

"Oh my f***ing God," Alucard gasped. Stephenie Meyer and Edward Cullen were taking a bubble bath together! Alucard shot Edward ten times in the face. Stephenie was horrified.

"How could you? How can you so heartlessly kill my babies?" she gasped.

"Say another word and your fate is locked in," Alucard growled.

And so, Alucard lived happily-ever-after.

The End!

By the way, before anyone flames on me for using the word faggot, I apologize. I have poor vocabulary skills. So forgive me, please. After all, I swing both ways. Eh, eh.