Pre-Dawn Contemplation

Enjoy

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Little Dhampir,

While I admit writing is not one of my many talents, I do think I have confidence in my work here. I spent a long time writing words and phrases that I thought could impress you, or validate my feelings, however I realized something. You, little Dhampir, are probably sick of complex riddles by this point, so I made a decision.

When we were at the ski lodge it was your aura that first drew me towards you, as I've told you I've never seen anything like it before, or seen anything like You. After awhile, and after some of the alcohol induced haze wore off, I was able to see even more, much more besides just your aura.

I could list all your qualities, but I wont, I think that's a bit too cliché for you. However I will tell you something. Every fiber of my being reverberates when you are around, my mind constantly wanders to your image, and everything that I never thought I could think or feel comes to the surface with a single word from your lips.

So in conclusion, don't laugh, I have a single statement. I know that you have loved another, and still do, however I can completely devote myself to you, I will support you unconditionally, trust you until the day I die, and I will honor and love you until the end of time. I hope that one day I may be graced with even just one eighth of your heart.

Adrian Ivashkov

P.S. If you actually did want something complex and riddle worthy I've attached some poems that the sci-fi geek at the bookstore in town said were sure to 'Get you into bed!"

P.S.S. Don't slap me, he said it.

I threw the letter down, quenching down a sob at the same time. It was probably the sixth time I'd read that letter since Adrian hand delivered it two days ago, and it hadn't gotten any easier since then. I never thought the lush I had met on the porch of the ski lodge could be so…

I shook my head. I don't have an end to that statement. Adrian has surprised me almost daily since I met him.

"Pull it together, Hathaway," I mumbled to myself. I stood up swiftly, stretching out my arms, I couldn't take holing myself up in this room any longer. I was going to visit Lissa.

I felt her excitement mount the further I walked, but I didn't know what it was from. Furrowing my brow I tried to think. It's not like she knew I was coming or anything did she?

When I knocked on her door it was thrown opened swiftly, and I was yanked inside. However before I could ask her what she was doing she spoke "Rose you'll never guess what happened!"

"What?" I asked my curiosity was honestly spiked.

"Christian and I are back together!" she clapped her hands together and squealed in excitement. "He just left!"

"That is so great, Lis!" I said, and it was. I was truly happy for her, and her own happiness was bubbling over the bond, making me actually feel much more positive that I had.

"He said you talked to him," Lissa said, her tone much calmer.

"Uh, yeah," I said, rubbing the back of my head "A bit."

Her arms wrapped around me the next second, her lithe Moroi frame wrapping around me. "Thank you so much, Rose. You've always been there for me."

The sincerity in her tone was touching. I pulled her arms off me. "You're my best friend, Lissa; I'd do anything for you."

"I know you would," Lissa replied, locking her gaze with my own "You know I was telling you the truth right? The next crazy adventure that you go on I'm going with you, no matter what."

Now that made me feel terrible. I didn't know if I was ready to tell Lissa about my ideas about Victor and prison. There was still a big part of me that couldn't cope with putting Lissa in danger; it was the guardian in me. However, I couldn't deny that I really had no right to tell Lissa to stay.

But I couldn't tell her right now, maybe later, maybe tomorrow, or maybe I'd tell her next week. There was no need to tell her right now and spoil her mood.

"I'm really glad for you and Christian," I said instead.

Lissa's expression changed for a moment, it was almost like she was suspicious of me. "Did you read Adrian's essay?"

I was somewhat caught off guard by her question, but I sighed and answered her question anyway. "It's not really a essay but yeah, I've read it."

She paused, just for a moment "…And?"

"I don't know," I said, probably more forceful that I had intended. Why did I really have to make a decision all of a sudden?

"He really, really loves you," Lissa said softly. "I swear I'm not over stretching it."

"I know," I sat down on her bed, avoiding her gaze.

"Well," Lissa said slowly "Start by thinking about it."

"Thinking about what?" I asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It was late, predawn, but probably not late enough that I could excuse myself because of the time…

"Think about whether you'd be happy in a relationship with Adrian."

That did pull me up short. I had shoved any thoughts like that out of my mind before they could fully come into formation. I didn't want to get used to any ideas and then have them ripped form me, I suppose.

"I don't know," I said stubbornly, and then at Lissa's insisting look I continued "There really is a part of me that thinks it could be a good idea, but-."

"O.K." she said "Rose."

"What," I responded, trying to convince myself that I wasn't whining.

"Rose," she began again "I think that if there's some part of you that wants it then your decision is already made."

"Alright," I said standing hurriedly "I better get back, wouldn't want to be out to late after all."

"Wait, Rose!"

"I'll see you for breakfast in the morning," I called, already clearing her door. I ignored her shouting after me.

A few minutes later, when my jog slowed, Lissa's words began to make more sense. Then I growled to myself. "Shit."

Lissa was right. I'd spent days grappling with my thoughts and emotions and Lissa had explained everything in one simple thought. I guess we were bonded for a reason.

I pivoted on my heel and headed in the opposite direction.

X-_X-_X

Adrian wasn't wearing a shirt when he grudgingly opened the door. I'd been literally pounding on the door to his guest suite, and he'd probably been sleeping for about an hour now, on standard Moroi hours.

"Little Dhampir," he said, his voice surprised and his expression dazed.

"Hey," I replied. So intelligent.

"Read my essay?" he asked, his natural cockiness returning. However his emerald eyes were reflecting nervousness.

I snorted "Why else would I be here when I could be sleeping all comfy in my bed?"

"Well," he retorted "You could want to sleep all comfy in my bed."

"Perv," I said pushing past him and entering his suite. Though his joking was helping, it was definitely making me feel more at ease.

He closed the door, the soft thud seemed especially loud to me.

"So how can I help you?" he asked.

"Look," I said holding up my hands "I don't have any guarantees for the future."

He nodded, waiting for me to continue. His expression went grim; it was as if he were expecting rejection.

"So I can't make any promises," I continued.

"Can any of us really make promises?" he interjected.

"And I don't know what will happen with Dimitri," I rushed on; I didn't want him to distract me from my train of thought. "So I can't make any promises about that either. I have to finish what I set out to do."

"I know, Rose," he said, his lips gracing my name tenderly "But, look, I've come to terms with that, and I'll support whatever happens, I mean, hey, I already put my trust fund in your hands once, what's another time?"

I punched his arm lightly, or I tried to make it light I should say.

"Adrian Ivashkov," I said "Lissa helped me realize that there was a part of me that wants to be with you, and I don't think I'm going to deny that part of me."

"You mean it?" he croaked, his expression one of marvel.

"I'm willing to give this a shot," I responded gesturing to him and I.

"Yes!" he shouted. I shook my head as he punched the air. "Little Dhampir you have made me the happiest Moroi in existence."

I just smiled at him. I felt so relieved all of a sudden.

"So," he said, grabbing my arms and waggling his brows. "Can I kiss the fair maiden now?"

"I guess, Ivashkov," I replied, I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "But just remember I'm getting comfy in my bed tonight."

He smirked. "That's what you think."

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I hope you enjoyed, I really wanted to get this scene out, and it was stuck in my head. This is a one-shot it won't be continued. It actually was a drabble to begin with.