A/N: I own nothing. Now you know and Gosho has no need to hurt me. Thanks again to nataeiy1 for being my beta.

This Is a Bust

Shinichi glared at the empty cup and tried to blend with the wall. He'd spent the last four hours listening to pointless chatter from Tokyo's upperclass, and the evening looked to officially be a bust. He'd weaseled his way into the party after hearing rumors about a KID notice the hosts had received. However, one look at the heist notice and miniscule size of the decorative gems on the 'target' and it was safe to assume this was another KID hoax. He suspected it was a stunt by the hosting couple to draw attention to their event.

Nakamori and his men had also come and suffered through the affair. The appointed time had just passed and there was no impostor or real deal to show for their pain. That pretty much confirmed the theory. There was no thief targeting the owners, so the stunt was most likely their idea. And no fake, means no actual Kaitou showing up to thwart them.

The Meitantei noticed the aforementioned hosts making a beeline for him and decided to beat a retreat to the punch bowl. He doubted he'd be able to restrain his impulse to ream them after this disappointment. Nakamori was heading towards his pursuers and seemed more than ready to express his own displeasure over the event. Shinichi had been hiding among the officers all night, but it looked like his cover was heading home for the night.

He refilled the cup with the overpriced Kool-Aid they were calling punch and sighed as he took a sip. Shinichi quickly grabbed a napkin and spat it out. Glaring at the offending liquid, he brought it to his face to take a tentative sniff. The reek of cheap gin assaulted his nose.

What are they? High school delinquents? I hate gin. That is officially the last straw. I'm calling it a night.

Shinichi stalked decisively to the doors and dumped the rest of the drink in one of decorative ferns set next to them. He still had a two hour drive home and needed to inform the last lurking officers of his intentions. Now that the thought of it, he should probably run by the restrooms before leaving. He'd spent most of the night nursing some form of drink to avoid responding to the gathered socialites stalking him.

If he recalled correctly, there were some public access restrooms near the lobby's entrance. He nodded to the desk clerk and ducked towards the other end of the room. There was a small hallway a few feet from the entrance that contained another decorative fern along with a water cooler and then spilt into the gender specific areas about five feet in. Taking a quick glance at the signs he went to the left. It was a bare room with stalls only separated by walls and little privacy.

Glancing casually towards the opening along the floors, he jerked to a halt. Blink. Going back to the hall he double checked. Men. Back to the stall. Red heels.

Do I really want to know?

His bladder said to get over it. It was probably just a drunk partygoer. As long as he kept his eyes averted, he should still be safe.

Fixing his eyes on the tile, Shinichi started to creep past. He wasn't a pervert. A detective though…

The same part of his brain that found dead bodies fascinating apparently also had a curious streak concerning drunk ones. A stray unconscious peripheral glimpse was enough to grab his full attention and unknowingly doom the rest of his evening unequivocally.

Sitting on the toilet passed out with soft snores and drool emerging from his open mouth was… Kaitou KID?

The top hat tilted against the wall to cover the rest of his face, but the tell tale monocle charm dangled from under it. The blue dress shirt was half buttoned and was apparently given up as a lost cause judging by the placement of those he had managed to secure. Both hands seemed to be caught in the snarled red tangle looping his neck that was originally meant to be a tie. The jacket, cape, and pants were piled on the tank and now being used as makeshift pillows. A revealing stereotypical little red dress matching the heels was still on under the bits of KID costume he'd managed. There also seemed to be a mostly unattached light wig bunched at the back of his neck.

Shinichi searched his memory and dredged up the image of his suspect. He'd been hard pressed not to notice the giggly blond following their hosts around trying to endear herself to them. He/she had been imbibing generous amounts of the provided drinks as they chattered to the other attendees. Approaching cautiously, he pulled the buttons open enough to confirm the presence of certain… attachments still under the dress. Amusement and dismay warred in his mind.

Maybe he/she is just an actor playing the part for the owners. It's not necessarily the real…

He jumped as still bound hands jerked forward to entangle his own in the mess that surrounded them. Wary eyes half peeked from under the brim at the hand found on its person, before brightening at the person attached to it.

"Tantei-kun!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

Even as the voice processed, Shinichi found himself caught in a tangle of ecstatic transvestite trying to wrap himself around him. Bound hands looped around his neck, pinning his now trapped hand awkwardly behind while the other free hand tried to brace against the smooth stall wall. He squirmed uselessly and was dragged on top of the other. The overwhelming smell of alcohol once again filled his senses.

It is. You have got to be kidding me. He didn't.

KID began giggling to himself next to Shinichi's ear. Allowing himself to slump, Shinichi dropped his forehead to the other's shoulder. The grip around him tightened in approval.

He did.