Passion Isn't Just For The Devine

Prologue: Atrum Caliga

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence- Helen Keller

I sat in my apartment staring out the window into the cool New York night. It's as if the darkness was calling, it's intoxicating perfume swirling against the glass. I wanted to breathe it in, let it take me away, but I couldn't. If I did, I wouldn't be able to control myself. No matter how hard I tried to stop it, the darkness always had its way. It consumed me.

The next thing I knew I was back in my apartment. I was on the floor looking up at the cheap paint on my ceiling. I blinked a few times, recalling the past few hours. It always happened like this, I blacked out and for a moment I felt almost normal. But I could never feel normal I could never feel anything. It was like being numb all the time, floating in a never-ending grey. I tried to float up, to swim into the white cloud of emotion where everyone else was, but I couldn't. So instead I took the easy way out and let myself drown in a black abyss. There was only one way that I could sink so low I would lose myself. The kill. Most people would say I'm sick, twisted, crazy but when I'm killing it's like an out of body experience. It's not me, I'm just watching from above. Floating through the night like a black, deadly mist.

The stages of murder are usually as follows; the fantasy, the plan, the stalking, the killing, the guilt and then the depression. When the depression gets to be too much that's when the cycle repeats itself. For me though it's never been like that. It's the depression that I crave. Without it, I don't feel anything at all. I've been like this all my life. Do you know what it's like not feeling any emotion? Sadness, guilt, remorse, happiness, love. I don't even know the meaning of the word love and I never will. There is no steps or stages, just the deep compulsion to kill. Sometimes I wish I could stop but I know I can't. It's too late for me. It's been too late for a long time.

"Hi readers! I'm really excited for this story so i'll probably be updating as fast as I can. I just love the idea of innocent little Spence falling for a psychopath, hehe. Oh and this is meant to take place in season one. Also if you're wondering Atrum Caliga means Dark Mist in latin. Thanks for reading!"