Authors note... this story is complicated and i'm busy and no one really reads it...i think im going to delete it and focus on other stories... but i do have this...
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It should have surprised me
Not expecting Asha to see
But little surprises me For i need to expect to
expect i need to feel
Her craziness quite aparant to me
perhaps it is stange to have a friend
a schizophrenic friend
Then again my life with strangeness teems
Collette is a sociopath
Contentedly emprty inside
I am a psychopath
desended to the darkside
Asha is a schizophrenic
the voices make her 'sick'
a stranger day i've never had before
Us three and Tokio Hotel four
they find us strange
abnormal and unusual
I know we are yet they dont see
how strange there apperance is to me
I want to sit here
face them without fear
I know i cant
it'd be wrong
How can i be empty and not strong?
i thought emotion was weakness
Could i be wrong?
"I need to go!"
I had to get away
before my mind went astray
"I have some of your clothes,"
Collette understood in her way
her emotions are gone
mine simply forced away
"i don't know if you should you leave,"
Was that concern on Bill's face?
No i was imagining things
maybe i had hit my head
"Goodbye," i said simply stated.
"if you don't mind?"
Collette tossed me my clothes
i began to pull them from the bag
i forced myself not to look
As the boys left, my heart they took
I started shaking as i dressed
I believe simply delayed stress
I had to be in shock
Or was it my hearts turn to mock?
I don't miss it's job, its stuff
I pushed it away because it was so rough
"Casey will pick us up,"
Collette spoke in her detached way.
"I don't think we're coming!"
Asha said the doctors pausing at we.
As i walked out i felt his stares
i ran my fingers through my hair
I felt so strange
Like i MIGHT care...
I felt emotions bubbling
I forced them away
So sick of fighting them
Longed for darkness inside
An empty space with no pain to hide
Casey
I saw my friends exit the hospital. I wasn't surprised by the way they looked. Slightly tired they'd been up since god knows when. Collette looked cool and collected Alex looked the way she always did, perfect, she always had a small smile or a smirk or whatever emotion was appropriate it was so fake it made me sick but it was better than what was real.
"My stuff is already at the gym," Alex said.
"Your still going to fight!" Alex was in the local marshal arts tournament, she was facing Asian Persuasion.
"Why not?"
"Asian Persuasion is fast, he's going to beat you!" Collette giggled maliciously not because anything was funny but because her best friends were going to be dueling.
"Me versus Pham," Alex grinned evilly her dark side coming out. "I don't know if I like this..." her smile faded as she realized the implications. She took out her violent side in the fights what if she hurt Pham.
"Don't worry, you'll be lucky if you can land a punch," I told Alex. Smiling at Tokio's Goth Girl no one knew where the name came from.
Bill
I was worried of course about the girl Tom had by the bus. Yet there was something more. Something about her green eyes, her pale skin the way she hid everything. Her friend just looked empty but she looked like there was something deep, deeper than maybe even she could see. He watched her walk out of the hospital the day after being hit by a bus perfectly fine. She was beautiful. Tom dragged me out of there he had gotten gym time and really wanted to work out. I went with him. Despite common belief I do work out when I have time. I just don't bulk up very well, which is fine because I didn't want to be some muscle head like Hagen (Georg). We'd been I the gym for half an hour. I finished the circuit I was on and went for a quick wander around. I could hear yelling from one gym so I walked in. I saw a mat and large signs Iread them. Asian Persuasion and Tokio's Goth Girl. I walked in getting closer to the fight. I wasn't really into watching wrestling or anything but this looked interesting. I saw a guy in one corner bouncing from foot to foot, he was tall slender and obviously Asian. He turned in the other direction there was a girl there stretching. She was dressed in all black and there was a Tokio Hotel sign on her head band in purple she must be Tokio's Goth Girl. He was amused to find a fighter as a fan. He watched as they warmed up. This could be interesting.