Lavender Scented Memories of Crimson, a RenIchi fic

Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine

Author's Notes: I have no business starting another storyverse. I don't. I already have what, 3? 4? However, random conversations with the rockin' ladies in my fangirl circle have prompted my Muse to nudge me - AGAIN. Hence, here we go with another story. I had an urge for something a little darker, a different angle of the chessboard if you will. I wrote this RenIchi mainly because I think the dynamic can handle this type of story -- I wanted to pair my interests in BDSM with a pairing that would stand up to the challenge.

I'm writing a long introduction because I feel the subject matter requires it. This is not a fully light hearted story; Renji has quite a secret that Ichigo is about to "discover": the life Renji held before Ichigo came into his life. I'm inspired to tell the story for these two based on multiple sources with the same story: the challenge of "going vanilla" after being in the BDSM scene. I will be pulling Ichigo, a newbie, into this storyverse's bondage-loving community.

This is probably my most experimental story. I debated whether or not to actually go through and post it. If I don't post it, I won't finish it and therefore will let down my Muse, the bringer of all my good as a writer. On the other hand, if I post it, it gives you -quite- a clear picture into the way my merry little brain works, doesn't it?

One thing about me as a writer that I would like to get out in the open is that I primarily write for myself, and offer my stories to the public as a way for you to enjoy them as well. I don't really expect feedback per se, and I am not concerned about reviews. Given the subject matter discussed here, I'm not going to hold it against you if you skip out on this fic. (There's quite a few that have my *entire* author's account on alerts, so I am trying to be respectful to those that are looking for another style of story -- I have others, y'know :D) Also, if you just want to read along and would prefer not to say anything -- that's OK too. I'm sliding more and more into exhibitionism the more I hold a fanfic account, I swear. I don't care if ya say anything, I just wanna show off! LOL!

Pairings: Obviously - Renji/Ichigo. Renji is riding seme hardcore through this fic -- I know it already without even writing a single line. That's how I like my Renji, and that's probably how it'll roll until I figure Ichigo's ready to take up the reins. However -- considering that this fic pulls *both* of them back through Renji's past connections to a community, there's other pairings -- Renji-Ichigo-Grimmjow, Renji-Ichigo-Byakuya, plus some of the other "standards": Aizen/Gin, Yumi/Ikkaku -- it's a big ship happy community. It's done in a lot of "party" formats, so that's where you'll see a lot of the pairings and such. Also, there's plenty of

Hence, the warnings: yaoi (naturally!), threesomes, voyeurism, exhibitionism, rough play, rough language, bondage, dub con (more dub than non, as the players later on have an implied range of consent that is left unspoken) and oh, AU setting. My poor brain can't even dream of trying to put this directly into Sereitei -- not without completely smushing arcs and other things. So AU it is.

-bows- So, after all of that... if you would like to continue on -- the opening of this story is below. 3.

You know the rest by now, don't you? C'mon, say it with me now: Storytime in the place to be!

Ichigo didn't hate too many things in life. There was some music he wasn't a big fan of, and art that he questioned whether or not it could really be art, but other than that -- hate wasn't something that came easily to him. After losing one of the most important family members in his life, he realized that hatred only spurred more hatred, and the cycle could leave you feeling a little...hollow inside. However, after moving so many boxes into the new space he was going to call home, Ichigo couldn't help but feel a little annoyance for cardboard.

Okay, maybe a lot of annoyance.

"Ichigo! Where d'ya want me to put this stuff?"

Then again, every cloud had a silver lining. Timing the move for the summer when both of them had more free time was a smart idea. Today's silver lining wasn't in the rental truck that managed to get them back and forth across town without croaking, or in the fact that every last one of the fragile boxes seemed to be safe. It was something far simpler: a very shirtless Renji.

Ichigo felt a little guilty openly ogling his lover like that -- there were plenty of other things to appreciate about Renji besides his physique. After three years of being together, Ichigo had grown to take pleasure in Renji's deep laugh, his sharp insight and his ability to be bold and daring even in the most risky of moments. He sucked in a breath, his eyes following every ripple of Renji's chest and arms.

"Hey! This ain't a free show, Ichi!"

"Coulda fooled me."

"As much as you like looking at my hotness, would you mind unpacking some of these boxes? I want to get settled in."

"Fine."

Ichigo shrugged. The time spent unpacking would give him time to think, something he realized he needed to slow down and actually do once in a while. Thinking had paid off -- he ended up going off to university with Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Chad and Uryuu, which led to some interesting opportunities with each of them. Mizuiro needed someone to help him create art for a few advertisements, which later rolled into a real time product campaign that was still growing. In fact, it was the money from that project that was being used to close on this house, something he could have never dreamed of before getting involved with the project. He practiced karate again with Tatsuki, realizing the benefits of a trim body danced hand in hand with more stamina -- Renji was the primary beneficiary of that.

His father seemed happy that Ichigo had managed to slowly build his own little business offerings. "It's the Kurosaki way! Masaki, our son has the business thumb just like his dear old man!"

Ichigo chuckled softly at the memory. It was amusing to him, especially when he remembered all the times he had to sit and work through all of his father's invoices and try to get everything straightened out. Even though he still thought Ishida was a pain in his side, he had to admit the man had a sharp eye for accounting.

No. I'm not even going to mention that I need him in my thoughts. Knowing my luck, he's probably a mindreader.

He slowly unpacked every box, making sure to begin placing things where they should go. Their friends had come over the night before to move in most of the furniture, which was a rather nice gesture. Orihime had made the food -- thankfully, most of it was edible. She had gotten a random wild hair to jump into Western style cooking, and some of it wasn't half bad. Though, he would pass on turducken. There were just some places a duck shouldn't go.

He whistled a tune, thinking about all the places he had gone with Renji to as things started to improve for both of them. They had gone to Paris, to Berlin, even to Holland, though Ichigo reminded him that they were going for the famous bike rides and excellent pastries -- nothing more. He was a doctor's son, after all -- there wasn't going to be any weird substances walking home with them. Renji's odd collaboration with Shuuhei-sempai led to a crazy popular fashion line, which made Ichigo laugh.

Pairing Renji's wild tattoos and Shuuhei's 69 stamp shouldn't have been so popular, but losing some free time with Renji is worth it to see these young punks wearing that stuff.

Those tattoos of Renji's were one of the biggest things Ichigo enjoyed about Renji. There were numerous nights where he made the redhead cry his name just by running his tongue over them. Well, over every last one on Renji's body...twice. Ichigo didn't have any tattoos, but he figured that if he had them as widespread as Renji did, he would be excited too.

Ichigo sighed, realizing that as fast as he worked, there were still a lot of cardboard boxes clamoring to be opened and their contents released to the house proper.

Damn. Hm, let me start in a different direction -- that green box might be important.

The soft sea foam green color reminded Ichigo of their one year anniversary, where Ichigo had surprised Renji with a suit in that color. The memory of his lover in the well fitting suit with his hair fully down made him excited.

His hair was made to be down and free, the way his spirit is. It has to be that way.

Ichigo figured that maybe Renji had placed those pictures in the green box -- that would make sense, to remind Ichigo of their special moment time after time. He blushed slightly, still a little embarrassed at how quickly he could get mushy over the things Renji did.

I think I'll love this man no matter what.

He picked up the green box and noticed how heavy it was. "Whoa!" he tried to correct his steps but he didn't have the box balanced enough. It slipped out of his hands and fell onto the floor, cracking open. He saw a gush of photos spill out over the floor, and heard something rattle inside the box. He stepped closer, noticing the photos had all flipped upside down.

Figures. Oh well, I better hurry up and put them back. Hm, I need to tell Renji to have our important pictures dup---

His thoughts disappeared as he turned over the first picture and realized that it wasn't of him and Renji. Well, Renji was in the picture all right, but the man he was standing over so proudly wasn't Ichigo.

Renji sported a look in the photo that Ichigo had never seen before. His eyes were sharper, wilder, with a strangely confident look that Ichigo felt was a little menacing. He also noticed that Renji was dressed oddly -- he wore a strange set of criss-crossing leather straps, which went over his nipples and looped back over his shoulders. This gave the viewer a clear peek at Renji's flat stomach and smooth tanned skin, with the standard tattoos as a mere bonus.

If it had just been Renji, Ichigo would have been okay. However, the second person in the picture nearly stopped his heart from pounding. It was a naked man with his hands pinned back, the only adornment on his body being a large black collar. The lack of clothing led Ichigo's eye back up to the man's wild electric blue hair, with deep blue eyes that seemed to look completely thrilled to be in the strange position shown in the photo.

No. Renji isn't into that. We've tried. Everytime...

Ichigo's hands shook, his temper rising. Everytime Ichigo had even mentioned adding a little spice to their love life, Renji seemed to completely back away from it.

We don't need that stuff -- we have each other, right?

He turned the photo over and over in his hands, feeling a strange sense of guilt and uncertainty. He wasn't sure what to think about the photo, especially when he noticed the date was far before Renji had ever turned them into a serious couple. He had no right to be upset with Renji for something that happened before they were even lovers.

Yet he found himself angry anyway, mostly over the fact that this was a piece of Renji's life that he never shared with Ichigo.

He could have told me. I won't break, damnit. I'm not afraid...I'm not...

There was a bit of fear, but it was mixed up in the hot rush of excitement that he felt too. He wasn't sure who he wanted to be more -- Renji, the controller of the situation, strong and fierce and demanding all at the same time, or the nude man bound into place underneath Renji, waiting for the next command and the next touch and the next...

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo looked up to find Renji leaning in the doorframe, a worried look on his face. "Oh, god...Ichi...I-I...I can explain...honest..."

"Why didn't you explain before, damnit?!"

Renji made no attempt to move, sighing softly. "I figured this day would come, Ichigo. I was just hoping you wouldn't..."

"Wouldn't what? Knock over a shitload of the little memories you kept of a life that I don't even get to know about? You know, this hurts when I realize that ...that...you rejected my attempts to try this stuff with you..."

"Because that wouldn't have been good enough for me, and I didn't want to hurt you."

Ichigo looked up in confusion. What did Renji mean? Why wasn't his attempts good enough?

Renji smiled. "I love you. Terribly, fiercely, incredibly...god, Ichi...you're the best damn thing that's happened to me. Not even the whole fashion 69 thing with Shuu has worked out as well for me as you coming into my life. But ...that life you hold in your hands...it ain't something you "try out". It truly was my life for a long time. I think it's still in me somewhere, chained up so it doesn't get out again."

"Renji? What does that all mean?"

"It's a lifestyle for me, Ichigo. It's not something I want to try; it's something I want to be consumed by. Covered in. Wrapped up with. It's the most electric feeling when carried out properly and I want to take it all the way, the way I used to. But it's not worth losing you, which is why...all I have are little lavender scented memories of the crimson life I used to live."

Lavender. Ichigo finally realized that was the odd smell that was tickling his nose as he held the photo in his hand long enough. "Renji, we're supposed to trust each other with everything. No secrets, right? Don't you trust me enough?"

"I do. With everything else...Ichigo, I...I had someone I loved once leave because they couldn't handle ...my other life. I didn't want to lose you. I would leave the past the way it is if I could look forward to a future with you."

Ichigo smiled. This was the Renji he knew, the Renji who slumped down and over when he was feeling exceptionally in the wrong, the Renji who stumbled over words trying to keep everything he held dear in one piece.

This was the Renji he was determined to love for a hundred years -- with his only regret being he wouldn't get the chance to love him for a hundred more.

"Who's the guy?"

"You know him, don't you?"

Ichigo tilted the photo closer to him and looked at the picture again. "Wait... he's on TV now! Holy crap...that's..."

"Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, CEO of Sexta Enterprises. He's doing those crazy commercials for Desgarron Lock, that monthly property protection thing that's part of their Pantera line."

"Yeah, I remember the ads: we claw through your enemies for you!"

"Yeah, it's kind of lame. I told him not to go with it but ...whatever."

Ichigo laughed. "It's strange to think that that guy... would...I mean, he seems so...domineering."

"They all get that way in the vanilla world, to some extent. That's why they come to the shadow world and lose all of that on purpose. They need to escape. Escape artists are okay for a while -- sometimes they go deeper into the lifestyle, and sometimes they don't."

"The lifestyle?"

Renji began to move off the wall and come near him, keeping his movements light. He nodded. "Yes. It's a lifestyle for many of us. Ichigo...I don't have to tell the stories if you don't want me to. We can get rid of the box and pretend like this didn't happen."

Ichigo thought for a moment. Getting rid of the box was the easiest thing. It meant going back to their lives, of staying up late to watch the stars and waking up just as late to enjoy a meal they just couldn't serve at the local breakfast spot. He could go back to being the lover of a dynamic man that had a clothing line that was hipper than Ichigo would ever admit out loud, and Ichigo could continue to share artwork and advertisements and scramble Renji's head with all the new terms he learned from Mizuiro. They would still have lunch with Chad and Renji would still roll his eyes at Uryuu for Ichigo's sake. Nothing would change and things would roll forward peacefully.

Fortunately, Ichigo wasn't one for taking the easiest road.

"No, tell me. Everything."

He offered the photo to Renji, noticing the way the lavender scent seemed to transfer to Renji's body as a whole. Ichigo made the connection between the lavender scent and Renji's classic crimson mane, and realized that the memories he unlocked would take them on quite an adventure indeed.

A good thing really; Ichigo truly wasn't one for taking the easiest road, after all.

AN: A little short, forgive me. I rolled it off my fingers to get the Muse to release me so I could attend to a few business things (when she is insistent about a story, she will not let me go until I come to a "stopping spot" -- so I had to stumble my way through!!)

Yes, Grimmjow. I haven't shown Grimmy any love lately (he had an eensy space in my other fic, but it's time to let in a little Grimm, eh?)

No lemon just yet -- I was -going- to insert one in, but there's so much excitement and emotion and ...and...yeah. A lemon would have ruined the other set up work, so I'm just going to leave that alone.

I'm sort of 'letting loose' for this fic because well, I need more kink in my fic-diet anyway. Writing primarily for my own pleasure tends to lead to some interesting experiments, lemme tell ya... *winks*

I apologize to the native RenIchi shippers if I'm tearing up your darlings -- being the walking chessboard diva, AizenxGin is my home. I'm still, still trying to get the hang of the difference in characterizations.

Shh! I haven't even told the beta yet that I'm -doing- this. This is a quickwrite, and I apologize if there's a few errors I didn't grab. 3

Okay... I think that's all I really have to say on this story. I'm going to try to build things out slowly -- I'm committing to probably a good 30+ chapters for this fic, with a definite resolution. Being storyverse fodder, I naturally reserve the right to spinoffs and side stories :)

That's it from me -- comment if you like, but regardless I'm going to keep on truckin'!