English is not my first language, nor my second... so sorry in advance for the errors!
Siren
By Rinslet
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Rain. It always rains here.
He can feel his lungs tighten and his breath quicken, grasping for air, even though he is safely inside the building. The sound of the droplets hitting the windows unnerved him, making him feel vulnerable suddenly.
Though he would call this planet his home, it would also be the death of him. Although he is forever grateful to the hanar to have chosen to aid his people, he could not help but think about the human idiom that said something about being pulled out of the frying pan, and into the fire. Sometimes he would reproach himself for thinking so, for life on Kahje was much more pleasant and peaceful compared to the things he heard about Rakhana, but his race seemed doomed to extinction…
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Thane shifted his attention to his human companion.
"So. Where to?" she asked.
He picked up his bag and swung it over his shoulder before pointing towards the gate that led to the other buildings, all connected by bridges on every level.
"Seven floors up, three buildings away. About a 4.598 mile walk from here. Shall I go look for transport?" he looked down at her only bag then back at her. Without armor or military garb, she suddenly looked smaller in plain clothings. Gone was the soldier, the commander, the hero, siha the protector... instead she was just Shepard, a human woman. The one he had come to care for.
"Nah. I'd rather walk and take in the view."
"Very well then. This way."
They were already past the gate when Thane turned to take one last look at their shuttle that was under the mercy of the heavy rain...
He was beyond the point of no return, he thought, so he only sighed and allowed his hand to gently rest on Shepard's lower back, just in time to keep her from falling back after a misstep.
"Watch your step: Avoid walking behind the hanar people… the floor tends to be slippery" he said with the utmost seriousness and Shepard didn't answer, but her muffled laugh indicated that she heard him.
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Oh how well he remembers his house.
Though remembering it was nothing compared to actually being here now, letting his fingers glide over the furniture and just listen.
The sound of rain on the windows, the old sofa shifting under his weight, the vents that keep the air arid and breathable…
'She looks up from the holovid and stands to greet me, a smile on her lips "Welcome home" '
"Thane"
He blinked.
Shepard stood in front of him with her head tilt on a side, unsure. " You want some time alone? It's been a while since you came back after all… "
"No, I'm fine. I wanted to come here, and… I apologize for Kolyat's absence. Things are still…awkward between us. Every time I try to visit him at C-Sec, he manages to slip away by saying that Bailey had things for him to do. I guess it was hoping for too much for him to be here today."
"It's alright, Thane. There's always another time."
"Time" he repeated and they both became quiet because unlike his son, time could not be persuaded to slow down, to change, to turn back and every minute that passed was lost to them forever. It was time that prompted Shepard to bring up the wish to see where he used to live and it took a while before he agreed. How could he show her a house in which he had failed a life with Irikah? He was afraid that his home would bear the scars of a broken family, and that it might affect Shepard in thinking that she was better off without him after all. But she had been stubborn and he knew that constant worrying amounted to nothing so they had come to the agreement that they would not remind themselves of it anymore. It had worked well until now…
Shepard turned away quickly, proceeded to inspect the room and the glass door that led to a balcony caught her interest.
"For the hanar guests, I suppose?"
He nodded, thankful that she changed the subject.
"They like to take a dip under the rain, once in a while. And I am to stand by in my scaphander, in case they need me. It can last hours and the suit isn't the most comfortable to be in."
"Really?"
"……No, not really."
Shepard looked at him, confused. Then her mouth made a 'o' in realization.
"Oh, it was a joke."
"A poor one, it seems."
"Sorry. It's not often…actually, I think I never heard you make a joke."
"I'll work on it."
She laughed "You're fine the way you are, Thane."
He watched her approach the window and peer outside.
"Can I go take a look at the view?"
He nodded again, and said "But once you step out, I will have to lock the door as to not let the humidity invade the room. Let me get something to cover you from the rain."
"Don't bother. I want to feel the water of this world on my skin."
She dropped her bag on the ground and pressed the button on the side panel to open the door. Thane quickly closed it once she was outside, and stepped back to marvel at the sight of her.
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The rain was warm and soothing and much much cleaner than Earth's. Growing up, she only knew of the grey liquid that followed the drainage system of the slums. It always reminded her that she needed to get out of that damn hellhole.
Compared to that, Kahje's rain was like holy water and washed her worries away. Her layered clothing clung to her body and became heavy, but she did not mind.
She looked back at Thane, who nodded his head at her. Shepard approached and pressed her palm on the glass door. Thane mimicked her, a hint of amusement and intrigue on his face.
"It feels good out here" she said.
"…I wouldn't know" His face fell and he looked at her for the longest time before his eyes closed, leaning his forehead on the cool surface.
"You remind me of a mith'ran. I guess your equivalent would be---"
"-the mermaid. A siren."
He jerked back, puzzled at her grin "Did you really think I would come here, unprepared? Got myself into a bit of reading."
She then brought her other hand up, and his followed. He could feel the heat that radiated from her hand through the glass. It was comforting.
"Though you should know that I'm not a very good singer… won't even be able to lure a varren. I don't think my voice can arouse that kind of dangerous enrapture."
Thane shook his head, dead set on his notion "You are a siren."
She frowned, and pulled back, waiting for him to finish.
"Should you lead me to my downfall, I will go willingly"
"You speak as though I wield some power over you, Thane, I don't."
"You do, in some way."
"How did I come across such thing?"
"Because I've given you the means."
"Why would you do that?"
He blinked "Strange that you would ask… Don't we all give ourselves entirely to the one we come to care for?"
Her expression was unreadable, and he took a deep breath before continuing.
"I have been thinking, Shepard… Lately my past has not come to haunt me. Sleeping has become… peaceful. It is not something I'm used to for the last 10 years. It frightened me. Sometimes I question myself where such peace comes from, and when I wake up in the morning and see you, I know why. I have been somewhat vague about us, I thought doing so would not trouble my memories of Irikah, but coming here, I believe that she would want me to find peace…So I need to say it."
Something in her eyes, the way she looked at him, made him stand upright with hands behind his back to show that he meant everything and that he was not treading into the situation lightly. It was awkward, but he wanted, no, needed to tell her.
"I…" he tried, once. Twice.
But no word followed and he clucked his tongue, frustrated. It happens a few more times, and he expected her to step in by his fifth try but she just waited, patient.
When he sighed heavily at another attempt that sounded more like a grunt than anything, she tapped on the glass lightly and smiled "If you can't say it now, I'll wait. But I feel as though I should also say something…"
It was her turn to straighten up and look right into his eyes, to try and convey everything with her next words.
And she does so with such ease, such confidence.
"I love you, Thane."
He knew that he shouldn't, but he was surprised, and it took him a while to register her words. He was about to reply, determined to get it right this time, but she silenced him with a shake of her head which sent water splatter across the glass.
"But I'm afraid that you've put me on some kind of pedestal Thane, one made from your own body. I don't want you leveling me to the hanar that you have worshipped all your life. I need you by my side through the good and bad decisions because you, all of you, want to. And not because I said so."
Silence.
Then a slow nod, and the unmistakable feeling that everything is going to be alright creeping into every part of his brain. The muscles in his body relaxed and released themselves of the tension that he didn't even know was there.
"Of course, Shepard. Of course." and it was the closest he could think of to convey the words he failed earlier. But they will come. In time.
He then moved to the panel, gesturing her that she had been outside for quite a while.
"Come back inside. As good as it might feel, I strongly advise you against staying under the rain for too long, else Kahje's rain will affect your physiology and plump your constitution… just look at the hanar…"
"Ooh, that's a good start, Thane."
He merely nodded his head and held out his hand for her to take when he opened the door.
Once it was shut, she then looked down at the mess she made and back at him sheepishly. "Sorry. I'll clean everything up right away. You should go and crank up the ven----"
The rest of her phrase was muffled by the drell who pulled her into a firm hold.
"Thane?"
Against her ear, he whispered "I too want to know about the feel of the rain… And with you, I can."
Her arms slowly reached around him, a bit hesitant at first but he seemed to have put aside the fact that she was drenched, so she tightened the hug, leaning into him in the process.
"So, how does it feel?"
He paused to think, but only one thing came to mind "Like home, Shepard."
And with that, it seems to her as though the gap between their two worlds became a little bit smaller…
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