Bring Me Home

Disclaimer: all characters are the property of fox

Chapter 11: In The Morning I'm Short Of My Identity

Not even thirty miles out of the city limits and their toddler is already out for the count. Puck smiles at the vision in his rear view mirror, while Quinn leans into the back seat cab, tightening the seatbelt around their daughter.

"Alright she's asleep," Quinn announces quietly without turning around, "now you can explain why your hand's all bruised."

"Huh?" Puck tries to feign ignorance but the blond levels him with a stare that has him shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Look, it's no big deal, just…shit happens." sighing he flexes his right hand on the steering wheel, wincing lightly as the broken skin stretches his slightly swollen knuckles.

"It's not work related, your shift ended yesterday at 6p.m. and your hands were fine then."Quinn muses out loud, only to be met with silence. "Plus, you get along great with the other guys at the station house, so that rules them out. You're barely home and when you are Sophia's with you and the old ladies that live in your building love the fact that you're such an attentive dad, ruling out problems with your neighbors. So that only leaves…"

"Jesus fuck, Quinn!" Puck angry whispers, "I got into it with Hudson, satisfied!"

"Finn." Quinn wishes she could say she's surprised but ever since the end of high school, Finn has basically been a broken record, with one topic in particular. She's lost count of how many times she's had to scream at the giant oaf to grow a brain and move on but his head is harder than a rock and probably filled with them as well. "Was it his general Finneptitude or what this time?"

"He was raggin' on Rach again." Puck's almost certain he can feel the waves of anger pouring off of the blond sitting next to him. Which is exactly why he hadn't planned on bringing up the argument with Finn. There are two things Quinn doesn't tolerate people fucking with: Sophia and Rachel. It's kinda assbackwardly hilarious when you think about it because Quinn was Rachel's number one tormentor once upon a time. But Puck's noticed that much like his previous bad behavior towards Rachel, there was an underlining hint of sexual frustration. Yet, unlike Puck, Quinn's never had the chance to act on her attraction to the diva, leaving the blond to fulfill the overprotective friend role.

"I hope you crushed the moron's nutsack." she growls, making Puck instinctively try to guard his privates. "Details."

"We were hanging at Artie's place when he started dropping hints and asking all these questions about this thing she's got going with Jane. Told him to mind his own fucking business 'cause he had no right asking anything about Rach after the way he treated her, you know? I bailed before things got too outta hand but then he came over to my apartment to supposedly apologize and started that shit again and…"

"And?"

"And he may or may not walk with a limp for the next week," Puck grins, "oh, and he might want to look into getting a seeing-eye dog, too."

"Aces, Puckerman." Quinn smiles her approval. "We cannot tell Rachel about this." she warns but Puck just rolls his eyes at her.

"I'm not stupid, she'd totally bitch me out over it. Finn's an ass, you wanna stick needles in the voodoo doll I made of him?"

"You have a Finn Hudson voodoo doll?" Quinn skeptically asks the fireman.

"Yeah, well technically it's an old Stretch Arm Strong action figure that I taped Finn's picture over the face but same difference." Puck shrugs off the question as if it's totally normal to have a mystical torture device of a friend.

"You mutilated a beloved childhood toy just to make me feel better? You're the bestest friend ever!"

"Damn straight."

They fall into a comfortable silence for the next hundred miles, Sophia's gentle snores and the rattling of Puck's old pickup the only background noise in the car. Out of the corner of his eye, Puck could see Quinn glancing at him like she wanted to ask a question, only she didn't know quite how to phrase it.

"What?" he finally asks, slightly unnerved by this hesitant Quinn.

"Nothing, just…you punched Finn because you thought he was trying to weasel his way in between Rachel and her girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Puck draws the word out, uncertain where this conversation was headed. Despite how enthusiastic Quinn may have been at the news Puck kicked Finn's ass, Finn Hudson has a nasty little habit of causing smart girls to do stupid ass things. He just prays Quinn doesn't feel sorry for the prick or even worst, jealous that he still harbors feelings for Rachel and not her. "we already agreed that he's the 'King of the Douches', so?"

"It must be serious, her relationship with Jane."

"Ahhh," and suddenly we come to the center of the maze. Puck shakes his head, he loves his girls, really all of them but damn if this girl drama isn't starting to make him ovulate! "listen babe. Jane is awesome, I mean she's insanely fucking hot and a true badass and not in that Zizes 'Big Bitch, respect me or I'll sit on your head' kinda way. Rizzoli has that whole hot cop, 'I carry a gun and I'm wicked smart' thing going on. But trust me, she and Rach may be screwing like bunnies but they're not in it for the long haul. Just thought you'd want to have that little nugget of wisdom for when you finally grow a pair and stake your claim."

"There's nothing to claim, Rachel and I…our friendship isn't like that," Quinn stumbles over her denial "and since when does Rachel do casual sex?"

"She doesn't, not really but Jane's her only fuck buddy right now, the other chicks were sorta like a dry run." Puck laughs to himself, thinking about that night last spring. That chick's panties were about as far away from dry after Rachel turned on her weird Berry charm.

"All I'm saying is, when you finally decide to step up to the plate and take what is so obviously yours, don't hesitant on my account. There's like a shit ton of stations in New York, I've played ball with a bunch of guys that Jane's brother Frankie introduced me to and they said they're always looking for more guys, so…"

"You've considered moving to New York?" Quinn's honestly shocked. Puck stopped talking about getting out of Lima once they decided to keep Sophia and share custody.

"If that's where my girls are then yeah," the fireman shrugs, "wouldn't it be cool and pay a helluva lot more if you did your residency at like Mount Sinai Medical than freakin Lima General?"

Ever since the thundering round of applause began to shake the foundations of the theater a little over five minutes ago, the brunette sat tensely on the soft leather chair. A moment later and she could hear the lovely faint sounds of a familiar voice growing closer. The voice sounded happy, ecstatic even and she hated that the second the door opened and her presence was made that the beautiful voice would grow cold and distant. Sure enough, the dressing room door swings open and Rachel's steps falter as she lays eyes on her unexpected guest.

"Do I even want to know how you managed to sneak back here?" rolling her eyes, Rachel enters the room and begins her post show ritual of decompressing.

"I simply told the security guard that I was your mother." Shelby answers with a shrug, trying her hardest not to let on how affected she was by Rachel's frosty reception."So you lied, then." kicking off Penny's sensible heels, Rachel struggles for a moment as she reaches for the zipper on the back of her dress. Shelby makes a move to help her but Rachel shoots the woman an icy glare, so she sits back and keeps her hands to herself.

"I've uh, seen your show about a dozen times, I'm sure security just recognized me. Not to mention our rather unmistakable resemblance."

"And you didn't bother to correct them on the validity of our real relationship because it served your purpose." Rachel fills in the blanks, "Why am I not surprised?"

"You were amazing, Rachel." As a former performer Shelby knows from experience that a well placed compliment can defuse a terse situation. "The score doesn't even begin to tap your full range but you are mesmerizing just the same."

"I know." Rachel answers with a superior air and the corner of Shelby's mouth quirks into an amused grin at her daughter's ego. So much like her own at that age, it was like looking into a mirror.

"The run will be ending soon, any thoughts on what your next project will be?"

"I'm still weighing my many options." Rachel answers in the same tone that she uses for interviews, it's professional and devoid of true warmth or familiarity. "last week I read for a three month recurring role on a very popular soap opera and one of my professors has contacted me about this fall's showing of Sweeny Todd. As much as I would adore playing Mrs. Lovett, I think I'm leaning more towards the soap offer. More exposure."

"You're not planning to leave Juilliard are you," Shelby's voice rises in parental panic "because an good education is…"

"I really think that this particular topic would be better discussed with my actual parents."

"Hey kitten," Nathan's knock could not have come at a better time. Her co-star pokes his head into her dressing room, a charming smirk gracing his ruggedly handsome face. "sorry didn't know you had company then again I'm not surprised. Every time I stop by there's another gorgeous woman hanging around your dressing room. Is there a particular service that you use…?"

"Nathan." Rachel softly warns her friend before he goes into full-on flirt mode.

"Being inappropriate, right. Just wanted to know if you'd like to get a bite to eat before the evening show? We're congregating down at Café Un Deux Trios in twenty, bring your friend." with a suggestive waggle of his brow, Nathan is gone just as quickly as he arrived and the thick layer of tension that was temporarily neutralized, settles back over the room.

"I didn't come here to pick a fight with you Rachel. It's exhausting and pointless," Shelby laments but Rachel doesn't refute the claim so she takes this opening to continue. "I've screwed up more times in my life than I care to count. I've stepped over friends to get what I wanted, I've used people and I pushed away those I love because … I'm selfish."

"I have a feeling our memoirs would read strikingly similar." Rachel mutters darkly to herself, "Look, if you're here to find out if I'll jam up your adoption procedure, then your worry is completely unfounded. I am actress after all, I'll simply feed the interviewer whatever he or she needs to hear and presto! Newborn baby."

"That's not what I!" letting out a frustrated growl, Shelby snaps to her feet. Fighting with her purse strap she untangles it, jerks it onto her shoulder and doesn't notice how the movement causes the lit candle on the side table to teeter precariously. She takes a moment to collect herself before lowering her voice and speaking calmly to her pigheaded daughter. "Yes, it's true that Robert and I would like to start a family but I didn't come here to ask you to play nice for my adoption interview. I just want the child that we adopt to know and love their big sister. I'm an only child too you know, I can't even image what it would have felt like if my parents decided to have another kid. You're not being replaced Rachel."

"A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away." her dark eyes shimmer with an untold pain, the look pierces Shelby's heart and not for the first time makes her wonder if contacting Rachel was a good idea. "That's what Jesse said to me to get me to disclose my inner most thoughts." Shelby opens her mouth to once again apologize for Jesse's behavior but Rachel holds up her hand, unable to delve into the traitorous memories of the boy she once loved.

"Nobody forced me to date him or to trust him so completely. That was my own stupidity, thinking that the perfect guy would just magically appear out of thin air. I'm not even angry with the way things ended between us because honestly, I used Jesse just as much as he was using me. But I will admit that I am curious as to what was your plan?"

"My plan?" Shelby is utterly confused. She finds that happening a lot when talking with Rachel. The most random things tend to pop out of that girl's mouth, at least they seem random when in fact Rachel is usually two steps ahead in a conversation. She rambles mostly but if you listen closely you'll find that she's giving you a wealth of information, from every thought or feeling she has experienced, in such a limited amount of time.

"After the grand reunion, I did entertain thoughts of us being one big happy family, splitting my time between my dads and your house on the major holidays. Finally able to participate when everyone else would celebrate Mother's Day, instead of jokingly giving my papa a bouquet of lilies and a pair of fluffy slippers. But you put an end to that line of thought almost immediately and I was left floundering with all these unresolved issues and feelings."

"Rachel," Shelby closes her eyes, rendered speechless with guilt for her selfish actions, "baby I…I can never apologize enough for not being strong enough to stay away from you."

"You stayed away for sixteen years Shelby, would two more really have killed you?"

"It certainly felt like it would. I barely lasted fifteen months in New York. I tried to focus on making it, I auditioned for everything I could, spent hours perfecting what small parts I did get. But every single time I spent a dime of the money your dads paid me, I was reminded of how I got it and what I gave up to chase my dreams." Shelby pauses, running a hand through her hair and she breathes another deep sigh. "One day it all became too much, my show was in the end stages of workshop, it was my ticket you know? The one role that was going to make or break me."

"What happened?" Rachel asks, riveted despite herself, by the heartbreaking tale.

"Opening night on Broadway was just a few weeks away when the producers replaced me. They said that I wasn't right for the part if they were taking it to the big stage."

Rachel gasps in indignation, her mother is immensely talented. True she's only ever heard Shelby perform twice but it's not just anyone who can pull off Barbra extemporary and make it seem effortless. It took years for Rachel to perfect 'Don't Rain On My Parade' and twice as long to dig deep enough to reach the emotional highs and lows of 'My Man'.

She has the overwhelming urge to engulf Shelby in a hug right now and make all the hurt go away. But there's a niggling little voice in the back of her head, who sounds suspiciously like Santana, that's coaxing Rachel to make Shelby sweat it out just a teeny bit longer. Carefully weighing her options she decides to offer the barest amount of sympathy to her mother. Taking a step towards the older woman, her eyes casually glances over Shelby's shoulder, spotting a wisp of inky black smoke wafting up from her side table.

The hand that was outstretched to comfort her mother suddenly grasps the other brunette's shoulder, flinging Shelby aside just as the smoke detectors shrilly cry out.