s y m m e t r y
byNikki

Summary : She doesn't say 'I love you too' anymore.

For Dyna, my best friend, who doesn't like CR much, but if she were to ship one pairing, it would be Naityln, and she loves angst! :) loveyouubunny. enjoy!

- this is for everyday i've spent with you. -

She knows there's more to the silence that surrounds them when they stand outside the party, wishing for some kind of miracle; anything phenomenal, that they can hold on to other than the broken memories of theirs, where everyday is a blur of emotions; some barely even justifiable.

His eyes are shut and he inhales deeply, the wind playing with his curls, tousling them in all the directions it can conjure in the dark of the night, and the light on his face makes him look like those pretty boys she used to dream about when she was fifteen, and thought the only thing better than getting good grades in class was to have a boyfriend with soulful eyes and a charming smile and amazing-ly breathtaking hair. She laughs when she realizes how superficial it all used to be. And now, although it's only been what, a year and a half, it all seems so far away.

He opens his eyes and he looks so lost and temperamental that for the first time, she disagrees with how he used to say that she 'knew him better than anyone', because it's been too long and she doesn't know anything about the stranger that stands in front of her with an Armani jacket and the infamous Timberland shoes, except the fact that, when they were sixteen, she'd wrapped her heart in a pretty pink paper with a red heart on the front and gifted it to him.

The details are etched in some corner of her brain like they always belonged there, and somedays, there's nothing she wants to do more than to scratch them out and burn them apart and forget everything to do with him and his laughter and his rainy dances with her and his soft kisses that made her lose her consiousness in some corner of reality.

She'd told him that she loved him and couldn't live without him and told him about how his laugh made her giggle and dance and that she couldn't call this a crush, because it wasn't, and somewhere between her ramblings he cut her off with a simple, 'i love you too', and there's a lot more to it but the haze is getting to her and she obviously cannot think straight because she's most certainly over Nate Gray and everything that they ever were.

She whispers a quick bye, and just waits for long enough to see his reaction, which is nothing but a stiff nod, and she tries to control her tears as she turns back to the party and heads towards her boyfriend who loves her like she can't, and sometimes, that's the guiltiest feeling she's ever experienced.

Like she expects, he's inside, with open arms, telling her that he missed her and asking her what she did outside and if she's having a good time or not. She just buries her head in his chest and tries not to think about the past and Nate because neither is coming back for her. She just laughs slightly and tells him that the wind outside is amazing and she didn't realize how much time passed and he just flashes her a smile and says 'i love you,' to her.

But even he knows, that after Nate, she doesn't say 'i love you too' anymore.

i just want, no.
i just need this pain to end right here.

Review? Thank You.