Duty Driven

Summary: All Setsuna's ever known is her duty to guard the time gates and save the world, so after Galaxia's defeat she finds herself struggling to let go of Sailor Pluto and adapt to a normal life.

Chapter 1

Setsuna lay in bed gazing at the ceiling. She should have been asleep hours ago but lately she'd been feeling rather restless, her mind plagued by thoughts and dilemmas which frustrated her to no end. Why, Kami-sama, she thought for the hundredth time that night. Why me?

I'm sick of this.

She didn't admit it to the outer senshi and Hotaru, and certainly didn't say anything to the inners. There was nothing they would be able to say to make it better. She knew it was something she would have to figure out on her own, something only she could possibly understand. She, after all, was the only one who'd stood for thousands of years at the gates of time fulfilling a duty that no one should ever have to be burdened with.

By now the feeling of loneliness was well acquainted with her. It had been hard at first, but as the years had gone by she'd learned to deal with it and had accept it as how her life would be for years to come. It was over now, but the loneliness didn't just disappear.

Setsuna felt out of place in this world. While she knew the outers accepted her like family, she felt like an extra, only there because she had nowhere else to be and this place made the most sense. Having spent so long fulfilling a duty, she found it difficult to adapt to living normally, and was constantly on high alert and very reserved about her emotions. It was a necessary trait of a guardian of the time gate: duty was everything, regardless of feelings. Setsuna hadn't been free to feel for a long time.

She didn't laugh much, didn't cry much. Her expression was stoic for the most part and often appeared far-off like she was thinking hard about something. Every twitch of the corners of her mouth, every chuckle, every frown, felt abnormal, like it wasn't her place to be doing such things. For many years, it hadn't been, and that was hard to shake off.

Now that Galaxia was defeated she didn't even have a duty on Earth, and it seemed as though people just expected her to get on with her life like an ordinary person. Truthfully she felt like a fish out of water, a foreigner in a new country trying to find her way down a long and winding road. She was so used to having a duty, so used to having something to protect, that now it was all over she felt like there was a void in her life which she wasn't able to fill.

It was three o'clock in the morning and she still hadn't slept. While on duty she'd never gotten much sleep anyway so it didn't come easily. As the restlessness finally got to her, she got out of bed and transformed. As Sailor Pluto, she felt more like herself because it was who she was used to being. Opening the window, she jumped out making a graceful landing, then ran.

She didn't know how long she ran for but the feeling of running was liberating. In a way she could relate to Haruka who also ran, albeit for an altogether different reason. The running made her feel better, like there hope out there for her. When she finally stopped she found herself outside the arcade where the inners always hung out.

Arcades are for ordinary people, she mused, people who don't have to grow up fast and worry about saving the world.

Pluto had never been to an arcade, always claiming that she had better things to do than waste time and money playing games. Secretly she was a little jealous. People who played arcade games knew how to have fun. She, on the other hand, was too boring, too serious, and too duty driven.

It was something she used to be okay with, back when she actually had a duty.

But I don't now, she thought. The world is safe and I'm free. And yet, I feel suffocated.

She ascended onto the roof and looked down at the city, something she'd started doing a few weeks ago when she found herself too wide awake to sleep. The city was beautiful and peaceful and everyone was safe and happy, just as they should be. News reports had become inexplicably dull and not once since Galaxia's defeat had there been any mention of the Sailor Senshi. Pluto guessed that she was the only one that still bothered to transform. She was the only one with any reason to. For the rest, being normal again was easy, but she'd been Pluto for so many years that becoming Setsuna again was proving difficult.

"Setsuna-san?"

Pluto froze in surprise, not having expected anyone else to be up here. Turning around, she saw another girl in a Sailor fuku, with long, blonde hair.

"Venus-san," she acknowledge the other senshi, though she was slightly annoyed at her peace being disturbed.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who can't sleep," Venus commented, approaching Pluto and sitting down on the roof, her legs dangling off the edge.

"Indeed." Pluto remained standing.

There was a short, slightly awkward, silence.

"It's too quiet," Venus sighed. Pluto nodded in agreement. "Like, I need some drama in my life or something."

"I really don't." Pluto was getting annoyed now. She wanted to be left alone to think, but now Venus was bugging her about how boring her life was. Wonderful.

"You don't?" Venus sounded confused. "I mean, I'm finding it really weird that it's so peaceful. I'm used to action after the whole Galaxia thing, but you sound like you embraced the peace really easily."

"That's not what I meant," Pluto replied through gritted teeth. She didn't want drama, but that wasn't because she liked the peace. She didn't want drama because when one had a duty, that duty came before any life dramas - family issues, love issues, career issues all came second to duty, and duty came second to none.

"Oh…sorry."

Pluto shook her head, feeling bad for having snapped at the girl. Venus had only tried to be friendly. Goes to show how long I spent a the time gates - I can't even have a casual conversation with a friend.

"I should have realized I wasn't the only one struggling to adapt," she admitted. The others might not have spent thousands of years at a time gate, but they had hardly had ordinary lives either. They'd been thrown into the roles of warriors against their own choosing, and forced to lead secret double lives where they had to save the world several times, and after several years they'd had to give it all up and suddenly start being normal again. It was enough to throw anyone off the rail.

"It's really weird," said Venus. "Like, I keep expecting an enemy to show up that I have to defeat and when nothing happens by the end of the day I think how boringly ordinary my life has become."

Ordinary was something Pluto had never been, something she knew she never would be.

"It is strange," she said, "but not the same for me. I've had a duty as long as I can remember so I'm not going back to anything."

"So you're like…starting over?"

"In a sense, yes."

"That must be hard."

Never the type to admit that something was hard, Pluto didn't reply. In her opinion, when something was hard, she dealt with it. She didn't whine about it, didn't ask for help, but simply handled it by herself. This situation was to be no different from any other. She could handle this, the strangeness of being normal.

"No need to be distant, Pluto, you're not invincible. No one is. I hate to break it to you but some matters are too big for anyone to deal with alone."

Pluto had never considered a problem being too large for her to handle. As for the alone part, well that had been the case for so many years that why should it have to change now?

"I'm handling it fine," she replied.

"Yeah I can tell by the fact that you're sitting on the roof of the arcade rather than sleeping," said Venus.

Pluto sighed with frustration. "It helps me think."

"Something you do all day anyway seeing as you don't exactly talk much. Come on, Pluto, admit that you're struggling."

"I'm not struggling," Pluto replied defensively, even though she knew it was a lie. The truth was she was struggling harder than ever. Her emotions were proving more difficult to deal with than any problem she'd come across at the time gates. Monsters could simply be killed. Emotions, on the other hand, were always there, always lingering even when she tried to force them aside and ignore them, or quell them into nothing by insisting that nothing was the matter.

"Funny, you just said you were struggling to adapt a minute ago. Why else would you be standing transformed on a roof?"

"To admire the view."

"You are a rubbish liar."

"And you are extremely blunt," Pluto retorted.

"Look," said Venus, "I'm not going to bug you about it because obviously you're not telling. But I will tell you that eventually you'll have bottled up so much emotion that it will all come pouring out like a popped bottle of champagne, and the result won't be pretty. Which means either way I'll find out eventually."

"Whatever you say."

"Well I'm off now. Might actually try and sleep for a change. But if you ever feel like talking, give me a buzz," Venus said with a smile, before turning around and hopping onto the next rooftop before disappearing out of sight.

Pluto breathed a sigh of relief that the interrogation was over. She remained on the roof a while longer lost deep in her thoughts and gazing at the scenery around her. Then, as she realized the sun was beginning to rise, she descended from the roof and made her way back home, where she attempted sleep once again.