"What? Wait, you mean that we don't even get to make a first contact?" Jim Kirk, Captain of the starship Enterprise asked his Vulcan first officer.

"Starfleet Command seems to be under the impression that the number of...volatile incidences involving the Enterprise may be directly related to the number of first contacts we have made," Spock explained.

"That's bullshit," Jim muttered under his breath.

"Therefore," Spock continued as if he had not heard him. "They have found it prudent that the number of first contact missions that we are assigned be decreased."

This was all Spock-ese for 'This is your fault, you dumb-shit. If you didn't get shot at/ritual sacrificed by every new alien culture we encountered then we wouldn't be doing these lame second/third contact missions' or whatever Spock was really saying in his mind when he went on like that with that damn eyebrow raised so condescendingly.

"Where would they get ideas like that anyway?" Jim asked half-jokingly.

"Indeed, Captain."

'Smartass,' thought Jim, but he simply asked, "Well, what do we know about the Ari-pines?"

"The Aritines, Captain, are the inhabitants of Aritinia C which is the third moon of the gaseous planet Xini IX in the Xini constellation. First contact was made on stardate 2257.09 by Captain Adam Konopka of the starship USS Obama. Overall, the contact was conducted peacefully and the Federation was able to create the rough draft of a trade agreement that will allow the Aritines to gain access to more advanced technology and also acquire adequate outer planet protection for their dilithium mines which the Federation will be receiving mining rights to.

"Our purpose on Aritinia C is to negotiate the fine details of the agreement and to give them a proper welcoming into the Federation," Spock finished.

"So basically, show up, smile pretty, sign some papers, and eat some crappy food."

Spock's nostrils flared slightly at Jim's casual simplification of the information he had just provided. (Jim was obscenely proud of this reaction especially since he would have never noticed it a couple of months ago. He was getting much better at reading Spock's body language.)

"Although that is a rather crude summary of our intentions here, captain, it is not an inaccurate assessment of our purpose."

"Well, all right then, Mr. Spock. Let's get this over with so we can prove to the higher ups that we're not just a bunch of phaser-toting cadets with dreams of grandeur."

Spock's infamous eyebrow raised itself once again. "Very well, Jim."

'Now,' thought Jim. 'He's thinking 'What are you talking about, you silly, foolish human? If anyone is a "phaser-toting cadet with dreams of grandeur" than it would be you. Don't put us all in the same boat with you.'

'Sorry to break it to you, Spock,' Jim sniggered to himself (in his mind, of course). 'But this phaser toting ex-cadet is now captain.'

"Let's go and leave a good impression then, Spock," Jim said with a mischievous grin.

Jim got the impression that his first officer was now giving him the Vulcan equivalent of an exasperated sigh (he got these a lot and he could so tell when he was getting one).

Spock was a lot more human than he liked to let on regardless of what Bones thought. Jim got the feeling that Spock would be a badass to rival his own badassery if he was human. Flipping people the bird would have probably been his specialty too.

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Jim smiled and waved as he and his main crew were being escorted though a large, cheering crowd that was currently celebrating their planet's welcome into the Federation. The streets were filled with many of the humanoid Aritines that had skin colors ranging from light sky blue to deep purple. Most of the people seemed to be having a good time and they were a friendly bunch, which Jim was grateful to see. Perhaps it was nice to have a normal mission every once in a while. Just to break things up.

"This isn't so bad, right Sulu?" Jim asked out of the corner of his mouth as he continued to wave to the energetic crowd surrounding their small parade.

Sulu was nodding jerkily and giving waves as well, but he was noticably more agitated, the lines near his mouth were drawn taut and his movements were jerky.

"In all honesty, captain, I kind of wish someone would jump out and attack you right now," Sulu answered, his voice nearly drowned out by the loud revelry. Jim laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling, eyes bluer than ever.

"Why's that?" Jim asked curiously, not in the least bit offended.

"Just getting a little paranoid," Sulu admitted, his sword hand was twitching. "We haven't had a peaceful mission since...ever and to tell you the truth the lack of action is making me nervous." Jim directed a warm grin at the crowd with these words.

"I kinda know what you mean," Jim said, looking over at his pilot. "But you have to admit, this is a nice change from the usual."

Sulu grunted, but kept his eyes peeled and constantly scanned the crowd for signs of any suspicious activity. Jim just smiled wider and took a peek behind them. Spock was currently talking to the Aritine ambassador along with Uhura. Between them, they managed to conduct an interesting three-way conversation about the different aspects of Aritine society and how it was intertwined with the ecosystem of the planet. Kirk really wasn't that interested in what they were saying and he was sure that either Uhura or Spock would write up a report for him to read later. For now, Jim just decided to enjoy the infectiously joyous activity around him while being surrounded by a strangely beautiful alien world with his crew accompanying him.

'Life is good,' Jim thought.

In hindsight, he really should have known Sulu had the right idea and he really, really should have seen the disaster heading their way. Oh, and Jim changed his mind. Life was a bit of bitch sometimes.

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The first thing that clued Jim in that something was wrong was sudden shaking between his feet that brought him to his knees. The blinding flash was next and the ringing ears were the biggest indicator after everything was said and done.

Jim could feel Sulu dragging him to the ground and he was so disoriented that he allowed himself to be manhandled over to the side of the road to the safety of a nearby building. Jim was vaguely aware that Spock and the others in their group were following them.

Finally, Jim and the others made it in to the building, which seemed to be some kind of temple, along with many of the other panicking Aritines. Jim ignored Sulu for a moment, pushing away the hand attached to his elbow, and made his way over to his first officer.

"Spock," Jim called, his voice might have been louder than it usually was due to his own impaired hearing and the noise that was surrounding them. Spock turned towards his captain and gave him his full attention.

"Captain," Spock said in return, his voice was also louder than usual. "The ambassador has informed me that this may be the work of an extremist group, Ansaf ahj du, which opposes the deal Aritinia C has made with the Federation."

Jim nodded, absorbing the rush of information that Spock had given him. He really should have kept his mouth shut, but it was a little too late to do anything about that.

"Does he know what they want?" Jim asked.

Spock took a moment to translate for the nervous looking ambassador. After a few moments, the corners of Spock's mouth turned slightly downwards and Jim knew that they were all fucked.

"Apparently this group is known for being rather uncooperative with attempted negotiations. If they do want anything, we'll know soon enough. The ambassador informs me that they usually take matters in their own hands," Spock said with his not-frown.

"What the hell does that mean?" Jim said. Again, he really should've kept his mouth shut. Bones was going to kill him.

As soon as these words left his mouth, what Jim assumed was the Aritine's version of a firearm was being pressed against his cheek. Spock's face betrayed nothing as his eyes flickered between his captain and the extremist that was currently threatening him. Jim gave Spock a brief smile, which made his first officer's eyebrow twitch, and turned to look at his would-be assaulter.

The humanoid (he couldn't tell the gender) pointing the gun at him was snarling, its face mostly obscured by a mask that seemed to protect it from the blasts. The Aritine snarled something at him and when Jim remained unresponsive; it poked Jim with its gun and looked pointedly at Spock next to him.

"He would like you to raise your arms and put your hands behind your head, captain," Spock informed him softly, his tone smooth and calming. Jim didn't look at him, but kept his eyes on the one in front of him. Jim gave the extremist a tense smile and a slight nod as he complied with his wishes.

"Ask him what they want," Jim ordered Spock out of the corner of his mouth.

Spock translated the question and the guttural sounding voice replied with what sounded like vicious laughter, but he spoke quickly to his Vulcan first officer.

"Spock?" Jim asked when Spock didn't answer right away.

"It appears that Ambassador Gylyu was correct in his assumptions about the nature of this group and it seems that they want to... talk to the head representative of the Federation. He wouldn't clarify what would be discussed," Spock said, his lips had thinned into a hard line. Now Jim now that they were really, really fucked.

The extremist was about to talk again when Spock interrupted smoothly. Jim watched in confusion as Spock continued to talk and the gun was suddenly not being pointed at him. Although he was relieved about this, he was understandably wary now that the weapon was being pointed at his first officer.

"Spock?" Jim asked as he looked at the Vulcan that was now in the position he had been in a few moments ago. Spock didn't respond as he began to walk forward in the direction that the Aritine was pointing in.

"Spock," Jim commanded, now officially freaked out.

Spock finally turned his head and looked Jim in the eyes. Something in them quieted Jim, even if the tension was still there, almost suffocating them.

"I have volunteered myself as the 'representative of the Federation', captain," Spock informed him and Jim felt like punching him. "Please gather the others and contact the Enterprise. I trust that you will able to rescue me in time."

Jim was feeling utterly confused as the Aritine began to prod Spock with his gun. Neither of them noticed.

"Spock." It seemed that this was all Jim could think of to say.

'Genius my ass,' Jim thought scornfully. Whenever he needed something to say, his genius failed him.

"And if all else fails," Spock continued, his voice was still cool and smooth, never wavering. "Live long and prosper, Jim."

Jim swore he could see a brief flicker of a smile before the Aritine finally managed to get Spock moving again and suddenly he was gone. Jim stood there in shock for a few moments before he whipped his head around to look for Sulu and Uhura. The two were helping the others gather without getting trampled by the crowd and Jim stormed his way over and grabbed the two of them.

"Get in contact with the Enterprise," Jim told a wide-eyed Uhura. "I want two full security teams down here right away."

Uhura nodded when she looked around and realized that Spock was missing.

"What's happening?" Sulu asked.

Jim realized that the whole incident had been more subtle than he had thought in all this panic. Jim cursed his luck once more.

"Mr. Spock is acting remarkably stupid for a Vulcan," Jim said, much to his pilot's confusion. "But besides that, it's now our job to go help him with a little 'negotiation'. Are you ready Sulu?"

Sulu gave him a wide grin as he pulled out the retracted form of his sword.

"Ready when you are, sir."

Jim gave him his widest grin back.

"That's what I like to hear."

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Several hours later, after all was said and done, Jim could honestly say that he was exhausted and that he would never again doubt that any mission he was given would end without some sort of excitement. He wondered what his upcoming vacations would be like.

However, they had managed to successfully 'rescue' their first officer. Although in all honesty, Spock had been doing a fine job of nerve pinching them all on his own, but back up was always a good thing. From there, Jim, Sulu, Spock, and the security teams managed to incapacitate the extremist group semi-peacefully and in the end they signed the trade agreement with the Aritines.

The proceedings had even been completed rather quickly, due to the Aritine's willingness to agree to anything they proposed after the events of the day, and they didn't even have to stay for dinner since everyone just wanted the day to come to an end. All in all, still kind of one of the best missions he'd been on so far.

But now, sitting in the sickbay with Spock next to him, he had a bone to pick.

"So what was all that about?" Jim asked his first officer, a little annoyed. Spock turned his head and raised a brow.

"Would you care to clarify, captain?" Spock said with his not-smirk.

'Bastard,' Jim thought.

"You know what I mean," Jim said, settling down in his seat a little more as they waited for Bones to finish up with the more serious cases before giving them their customary 'after-shit-went-down' hypos.

"I must confess that I do not," Spock said, but the gleam in his eye told Jim that his first officer was fucking with him.

"You know…" Jim said, suddenly feeling a little awkward. "'And if all else fails'? …What the hell was that?"

Spock looked at him thoughtfully while Jim waited for his answer.

"Captain... Jim," Spock corrected himself. "If there comes a day when everything does fail and the worst does come about, that is what I hope you shall do."

Jim blinked in confusion and didn't even notice Bones attacking him with a hypo in the neck, much to Bones' own confusion. Spock was done right after Jim and he began to leave even as Jim continued to stare at the spot Spock had just been occupying. When Spock walked out into the corridor, Jim jerked his head and realized he should get up off his ass and chase after him.

"Spock!" Jim called to the Vulcan walking towards the turbolift. Spock stepped into the lift and held the door, looking at his young captain expectantly.

Jim gave him a grin and jogged over to him.

"You too," Jim said to his stoic friend, smile still beaming. Spock looked at the grinning human next to him and raised his eyebrow once more. Jim couldn't think of it as condescending this time.

"Indeed."

'Maybe the older Spock really was right,' Jim thought happily. 'It's definitely the beginning of something.'

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Next up is the '&1' and I finally know for sure what's going to be in it. Sort of. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!