Trying to relieve my writer's block on my story, "Wait, Who Are You?" Then I read a little comment that said, 'wouldn't it suck if Kurt's first kiss sucked?' and a plot was born. So here's my little fanfic on that.

"Wait, so you lied to me?" Mercedes screeched.

"Not…lied…per se." Kurt would have nervously looked down, but Mercedes was in the way. He looked over her head instead. "Just… didn't count it as one."

"So you have been kissed before?"

Twisting his foot nervously into the ground, he shyly replied, "It depends on what you count as a kiss…"

"KURT."

"Yes, fine. But it was the most painful thing ever. I'm actually starting to reconsider whether I want to be kissed." At this, Mercedes rolled her eyes with a huff.

"So basically, everything that you said in the sentence to me after I was glancing at Santana and Puck was a lie."

"Is it beyond your ability to use gentler words?"

"When you lie, yes."

"It was a stupid thing really, and I didn't even kiss back, which in my definition doesn't count. A stupid drunk teenage boy at one of those deplorable summer camps. He was cute, but unbearably intoxicated." Kurt explained haughtily.

"Hmph." She pouted, but remained silent for the rest of the way as they walked to Glee. They both sat down in between the guys and the girls, who seemed to be separated today. Even after the conversation Kurt and Mercedes had just shared, he still managed to be able to stare at Finn lovingly while the taller boy took absolutely no notice. Mercedes however, was frantically gossiping with the girls.

By the end of Glee club nothing productive was really achieved, in Mr. Schuester's definition. However, for the girls, they were beyond excited on the plant hey had concocted in between the singing and choreography.

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt!" Brittany called out as she swept him out of the choir room, him having an absolutely perplexed expression on his face. He slid his arm out of her strong Cheerios grip, straightened out his red, knee length sweater and unapprovingly raised his eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Is it true? Is it true? Huh? Huh? Huh?" Brittany hopped up and down excitedly.

"First, you sound like a broken tape recorder, and secondly, what is true?"

"That's what I'm asking you…" she tilted her head to the side, her blonde curls bouncing up and down from her ponytail.

"Well, what are you asking?" Kurt specified, as he began to check his nails.

"Is it true?" Brittany turned back into Energizer bunny mode. Kurt sighed, about to turn around and leave when Santana, Mercedes and Tina came out of the room.

"Brittany… what are you doing?" Santana asked tentatively.

"Asking Kurt whether he actually had his first kiss before."

He whipped his head around to glare angrily at Mercedes. "That was a personal thing!"

"Hey boy, you never told me that. How was I supposed t'know?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"So, have you, have you?" Brittany bounced up and down.

He sighed, "Yes, I guess I have."

"Aaaaand?" Santana pried into the conversation.

"And what?"

"How was it? First base? Second base? Third base?"

"Oh please, we're not all whore-ish like some people." Kurt replied disgustedly. "It was just a kiss on the lips. Nothing special. I hated it."

"Ahwwww," Brittany said sympathetically.

"Now, if you don't mind me, I'll be going home to my non-existent love life." Kurt strode away from the stunned group of girls while they continued to chatter on about his 'non-existent love life.'

"I don't get how anyone can hate kissing," Brittany said sadly, "I mean, I like kissing from anyone, even if it's a girl."

Santana coughed at the awkward silence that followed.

"Maybe it's because he was kissed by a stranger?" suggested Tina.

"So… if it was someone he knew, maybe he wouldn't hate it?" Mercedes piped in.

"But if they don't like him, then he won't like the kiss," Tina pointed out.

"Well, I don't think the point is for him to like the guy who kissed him. I think it's just to get him to like kissing." Santana shrugged, she had never had this particular issue before.

"So what if one of us kisses him?" Brittany proposed. The other girls looked at her in shock. "What? It's not like he's ugly."

"No, but he is, oh I don't know, gay." Santana said harshly. Big baby blue eyes began to tear up, and she apologized. After quickly regaining her composure, Brittany asked, "So what if we got a guy to kiss him?"

"Though that idea is much better than the previous one, who would kiss Kurt? No offence to him." Pointed out Mercedes.

"Well… we're all friends with the guys. So we can just ask them." Brittany shrugged. "It can't be that hard."

"Yeah, I can ask Artie, Brittany can ask Mike, Santana can ask Matt, and Mercedes… can ask…Puck and Finn?" Mercedes snorted annoyingly at her non-friendship status with Puck and Finn.

"Fine. This is just because I want Kurt to be able to hook up when he gets older." The four girls dissolved in a pool of laughter, before heading out to the parking lot and home.

The next morning, Kurt was met with a pair of lips on his mouth. He squealed unpleasantly as the lips collided along his. It was awkward, bumpy, and rough. Not at all what he would have wanted for a second kiss. After a couple of seconds, they released him and left him panting against his car.

"M-Matt?" Kurt gaped.

"Uhm, yeah. Just- Well- cause it was a dare. 'Kay bye." He looked uncomfortable as he left, leaving Kurt against his prized possession. Santana walked up to him and helped him up. "Soo, what happened?"

Kurt was still stunned. "Matt… just kissed me."

"Really? How was it?" he narrowed his eyes. Santana was terrible at faking surprise.

"Spill it." He growled.

"What?"

"What did you do?" Kurt continued, staring at Santana dead seriously.

"Okay, so the glee girls and I thought it'd be nice to show you that kissing is fun." She shrugged. "No biggie."

"Glee girls? Which would mean…. The glee guys?"

"Yeah."

Kurt slid down against his car, resting his head on his knees. "Should I go inside the school and die, or do you think I should skip?"

"Huh?"

"Wait… why am I asking you. I should skip. Tomorrow's the weekend anyway. If anyone asks, I'm at home and sick." Kurt stood back up and was about to hop into his car when Santana grabbed his wrist. Damn this girl is strong. Are all Cheerios like this? Kurt thought as he was being dragged towards the school.

"Nuh uh. Brittany wants you to have a good kiss, and if she's upset, I'm upset." He struggled against her grip, but the moment his sleeve began to wrinkle, he gave up.

"If my outfit dies because of this stupid stunt, I'm blaming you." He hissed angrily.

"Fine, whatever." She let go of him and pushed him into a waiting Mike and Brittany.

"Hi Kurt," Brittany chirped excitedly. Kurt looked up to see Mike waiting nervously beside Brittany.

"Ohgod, not you too Mike." Kurt began backing away when Brittany pushed the two into the janitor's closet, as for not the entire school to see them. It managed to be pitch black in there, and as Kurt scrambled for the doorknob, he heard a sly whisper from the other side of the door.

"We're not letting you out until we hear some kissing." Santana hissed, imitating Kurt's voice from not too long ago. He pounded against the door, frustrated, but could not be heard over Brittany and Santana's fake laughter and the roar of the hallway.

"No offence Mike, but we're going to be staying here for a while." He slid down against the door and sat on the ground for the second time today. Mike sat down beside him, resting his head against the closet door.

"I don't even know why I agreed to the stupid stunt. It was probably Brittany. You just can't say no to her without her crying." Mike paused and turned his head to face Kurt. "Well, if you don't mind… I really have to get to my Geography class."

"Wait, what?" Kurt turned his head to meet Mike leaning in towards him, pressing his lips gently against his. He fell down against the ground, causing toilet paper to fall all over him and Mike. Brittany and Santana tentatively opened the door to see Mike crouching over Kurt, their lips together and toilet paper streamers. Mike quickly removed his lips from Kurt's as he sprang out of the closet and headed to his next class. He did a quick wave back, and Brittany happily returned it.

"So…?"

"No." Kurt pushed himself up from the ground and walked away in a huff.

"Okay, so he didn't like kissing Matt or Mike. Because…?" Tina asked inquisitively.

"He just didn't." Santana replied bluntly. They were in Spanish class with Mercedes and Artie while they discussed the morning's results.

"Wait, who didn't like what?" Artie curiously questioned. Tina smiled and she whispered in his ear, careful that no other students heard. Artie's eyes widened and he blushed. Then his face suddenly contracted. "Wait… you asked Matt and Mike… and so you're going t-" He stopped speaking at their nodding heads. "Uhm, I'd love to, but I'm kiss intolerant. Can't do kisses. Nope, most definitely not."

"Ohdear, and I was going to kiss you afterwards. But since you're kiss intolerant..." Tina shrugged and reverted her attention back to the chalkboard, where was talking about conjugations.

"Well… I'm not kiss intolerant." Artie backtracked and Tina shot him a sly glance. "It's more of… how are you going to be able to get him to my height?"

Mercedes looked over her shoulder, "You let us worry about that. You just put on this." She passed him a small cylindrical tube.

"What's this?"

"Chocolate flavoured lip balm. I got it for my birthday, but decided I didn't need it, considering I'm already all chocolate." She laughed heartily at Artie's shocked expression.

They were in Glee Club during lunch break, waiting for Mr. Schue to come. While Mercedes walked over to the football jocks, Tina called Kurt over for a favour.

"Kurt, can you come here for a second?"

"Sure. At least you're on my side. Unlike some girls." He glared at the Cheerios who were sitting innocently by the sidelines. "Anyway, what's the problem?"

"Artie can't seem to do his bowtie properly. Considering you've had a couple outfits with bowties, I figured you could help him." She bit her lip uncomfortably.

"In my opinion, he shouldn't wear bowties at all… but if it's fixing his outfit." Kurt shrugged and bent down. "…Here's your problem, you're tying the wrong wa-" Artie lunged forward and interrupted halfway through the sentence and pressed his lips against Kurt's. His face scrunched up as he did, mirroring Kurt's facial expression. Kurt stood up and wiped his mouth against his hand. "HONESTLY." He screeched and walked out of the room furiously.

Artie felt embarrassed at the entire Glee club turned to look at him confusedly. Then Mike and Matt burst out laughing, relieving the tension. Tina bent down to kiss Artie full on the lips in front of the entire glee club, and he blushed even more.

"Hope she's a better kisser than Kurt, eh Artie?" Finn cracked up, while Puck looked on blankly. The conversation had not gone well between them and Mercedes, but Finn was making light of it. Kurt didn't return back to the lunchtime rehearsal.

By the end of the day, everyone had pretty much left the school building, and Kurt exited his car. He felt especially depressed on the fact that his personal kisses were being made jokes, and dares, of. He sighed as he walked through the dim empty hallway, stopping by his locker to gather some things before heading home. He heard heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway, and turned to see Finn fully clad in football gear.

"Hey Kurt." Finn smiled as he looked down at him. "I heard about the kisses." He held back a snicker.

"Yeah." Kurt looked down at his shoes, embarrassed but also curious as to why Finn brought it up.

"And Mercedes asked me whether I'd like to volunteer, and if everyone else is doing it, then I ma-" He was interrupted by Puck's yelling, calling him back to football practice. He looked nervous. "Uhm, so maybe next time or something?" He ran back towards where he had come from. Kurt wordlessly nodded, and also silently cursed Puck in his head for ruining what could have been a kiss between him and his long time crush.

"So. Those kisses." Kurt hopefully glanced up, but instead of Finn turning the corner, it was Puck.

"Yeah, what about them?" Coldly replied Kurt.

"Heard you didn't like any of them." Puck stepped closer.

"Well, none of them had any feeling. Plus, they didn't mean anything." Kurt shrugged.

"Huh. So you'd like a kiss with feeling?" Puck was uncomfortably close now as he neared Kurt. Kurt took an unconscious step back as he nodded.

"I guess I don't mind." Puck grinned as he stepped even nearer to Kurt. Kurt backed up some more.

"No, it's okay. I think I've experimented enough today." Breathed Kurt, nervously.

"I insist." Puck growled. Kurt felt his back hit the lockers.

"Seriously, it's fine." Puck held out an arm over Kurt's shoulder, keeping him against the lockers.

"I. Insist." Puck's breath fanned over Kurt for a few seconds before he planted his lips against the smaller boy's.

Kurt felt his head hit the back of the lockers as he tried to pry away from Puck's insistent, but gentle kiss. Puck's tongue wandered across Kurt's lips, exploring every part of them before lightly biting on his bottom lip, trying to get his mouth open. Kurt complied, sighing as he did so. Puck's arms wandered down to Kurt's waist as Kurt's arms similarly wrapped around Puck's neck. They moaned against one another's lips as their bodies pressed against the lockers. After what seemed like hours, the two boys finally separated.

"Good enough for you?" Puck whispered in Kurt's ear. He numbly nodded, still panting from the lack of oxygen. "Awesome." Chuckled Puck. He began to unwrap himself from Kurt when a small hand touched his arm.

"Wait."

"Hmmn?"

"I think I need more practicing with kissing." Kurt blushed furiously as he wondered if he was coming too strong.

"Well, that can be arranged." Puck captured his lips once more, a shorter more romantic kiss. Kurt groaned and pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm never going to hear the end of this from the girls." Kurt groaned once more. Puck laughed at his expression before untangling himself. "Well, I'm never going to hear the end of this from the guys."

Read and review! Hopefully, this will have helped me get over my terrible writer's block and I'll be able to continue my story. But, for my valiant readers/subscribers, hope you liked this!