Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII or any of its characters. All rights belong to Square Enix.

Warnings: Violence, yaoi lemons, language

Length: 3-4 chapters…possibly longer if requested.

For Arlene :)

ENVY

I should be over it.

I should have put it behind me now.

But even after all these years…it still disturbs me.

Every time I see his pristine form situated behind that large mahogany desk, I hold back the anger and resentment I have towards him. Sometimes, his very presence ignites a burning flame of revulsion within me, though I appear stoic and calm. Every time I enter into his large office and step over the threshold of his domain, it takes everything in my power to hold my peace. I don't know what I'll say if I open my mouth, so I keep it shut when he's around, not that I'm much of a talker anyway.

I've been called into his office. I hate seeing his name and title plated in gold on the outside of the door. I stare at the letters through my shades that dim the brightness of them. My hand rises up and I knock twice. The swift response of "enter" comes from the other side. I open the door and as usual, I do a quick survey of the surroundings, though I've seen this place at least a hundred times. The walls were white and bare, with the exception of the wall to the right, for it had the Shin-Ra company logo painted on it. A large cherry wood bookcase lined the opposing wall, filled with old works of literature and history. A dark leather sofa was set against the wall with the logo, whilst the other two matching armchairs were situated across from the huge mahogany desk positioned in the center of the room.

And behind the massive desk, sat the man of my resentment. His long dark hair which reached to mid-back lengths was slicked back and styled in the fashion of high society elites. His eyes, entrapped by dense lashes, were as dark and lifeless as his soul. Like most citizens of Midgar who were devoid of sunlight, his skin was pale; his lips were the only thing on his face that held a twinge of color, donning a pale pink. With his sharp navy blue suit, he resembled a modern day vampire. All he needed were the blood sucking fangs and the ensemble would be complete.

I stood in front of his desk, expression and emotion nonexistent in my features. My eyes glanced around the room once more underneath my shades before settling back down on the man before me. My fingers twitched slightly as a rush of hatred rose up within me, though it remained virtually unnoticed. When I'm in his office, I can't help but think back of another time, when I was attending the Shin-Ra Academy undergoing Turk tutelage.

I had worked so hard and the results had paid off. I graduated top of my class with honors and entered the Turks soon after with high marks. Under Veld's leadership, the previous Turk Commander, I had improved my skills and worked my way up through the ranks until I was second in command, only the Commander himself surpassed me. I was next in line for the position of Commander and I was proud of myself for having achieved such a great accomplishment. Veld himself would often speak highly of my ability to lead the Turks with the most minimal words possible. I was to become leader of the Turks, and when the day came that Veld had decided to relieve himself of the position of Commander, I couldn't wait until he announced my name. All the other Turks knew I would become the next leader and they supported me fully.

But my hopes, dreams and accomplishments all perished when the words "Tseng is the new Turk Commander" left Veld's mouth. I remember standing awestruck with my fellow comrades around me, each of them expressing their surprise in one way or another. I was in such disbelief I couldn't even react. Tseng had always been, in so many words "second best". He had graduated from the Shin-Ra Academy with the second highest GPA behind me. He was also the Turk who held the rank just below myself; the hierarchy being Veld, Me, Tseng and then Reno. That's how it's been for years, and that's how it should have progressed. I should have been the new Commander. But Veld had given the position to Tseng, the "second best". I still vividly remember when Tseng went up to thank Veld for the new title and saluted to him. He then turned to all of us and we had to salute to our new leader. I felt so utterly humiliated as I lifted up my hand to salute to the man who had stolen my position and my lifetime dream. I had been so devastated I formally signed away the position of second in command to Reno. I couldn't stand being second best behind him.

His title, his office, his rank, his position, should all be mine. I am the one who truly deserves to be the Turk Commander. It should be me who sits in this chair and gives commands. I should be the one behind that massive desk, giving orders to him. All this I knew to be the truth but there was nothing I could do about. I wouldn't want the position now even if he offered it to me. He didn't deserve to be the Commander, that much was certain, but what I could not figure out from the time Veld announced Tseng was Commander, till the present hour, was how the hell did he manage to get the position in the first place?

Everyone knew…all the Turks knew…Veld knew… that I was rightfully to be his successor, but he gave it to Tseng. Why? After all these years I still couldn't answer that question. It's this anomaly that fuels my hatred for him daily; the fact that I might never know why Tseng sits in this chair and I don't. Instead, I stand before him as a follower, a Turk at his discretion.

He nods in acknowledgment of my presence before he clears his throat to speak.

"The president has assigned the Turks to Fort Condor from a routine spy infiltration." He stated in that smooth eloquent voice I'd come to tolerate. "He wants to know what they're planning before he sends more SOLDIERS's to try and take over the fort."

He slides a file over to me and I pick it up, scanning through it briefly. The file mostly contains details of the mission object in further detail, along with a list of materials to bring. It was going to be a long watch.

"You, Reno and I will be going. We'll be leaving tomorrow at 1p.m. Be sure to show him the mission overview. He called in sick so he's not here today." He said slightly irritated.

When Reno called in sick, it was usually because he was hung-over and wouldn't be able to function at work. Tseng reclined back into his chair that seemed too big for his form.

"Any questions?" he asked evenly.

I shook my head no. He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip from his cup of coffee, which he drunk with little cream and no sugar.

"You're dismissed." He said, as he lounged back into that huge comfortable chair. Since there was a mission coming up, that meant he could put his paperwork off on another Turk, namely Cissnei. She always got stuck doing his work. But as the head Turk, he had the authority to do it. He glanced up at me through his long dark lashes, a fine dark brow slightly raised.

"I said you're dismissed. Did you not hear me?" he snapped.

I bowed politely in apology. I had a tendency to zone out when in his presence; painful memories always ensued when I was around him. I quickly exited his office and shut the door quietly behind me.

God did I hate him.

So…whadaya think? Review?