Chapter 1

"JAMES POTTER, YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN IMMATURE MAN-CHILD, AND IF YOU VALUE YOUR TESTICLES, YOU'LL LEAVE RIGHT NOW!"

The unmistakable sound of Lily Evans telling James Potter where to go was nothing new to the other Marauders. On the contrary, it was strange for them to not hear her voice ringing down the train. It was, after all, a seven-year-long tradition. They'd board the train, James would excuse himself, yelling would ensue and James would return with a bruised ego and a pout. Sure enough, James returned, this time sporting an interesting new hair style.

Sirius grinned. "I like it. Green is most definitely your colour, Prongs."

James grinned back. "She's . . . warming up to me I think. She only used a basic spell this time."

Remus laughed and continued to watch the moving scenery out the train window, admiring the British country side in all its September glory. It was raining, of course. The rain poured down on the train, making waterfalls cascade from the roof. But that was the enchantment to Remus; that was the magic.

"This can't be good. The rain is pouring, it looks like a storm and Remus is smiling. Talk about bad omens," Sirius said jokingly.

"Well, the position of Jupiter in the fifth house indicates you're in for a year of detentions, sex and more detentions. I think that sounds about right Pads," Remus said, his voice soft and mystical.

"Madam Moonshine, tell me my fortune! Will the fair Lily ever be mine?" James cried, kneeling before Remus.

Remus frowned and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. "I see you . . . declaring your love for her in front of a crowd. I see . . . a bright flash of light. I see . . . you failing miserably."

Sirius winked at Remus. "You have the gift mate."

Remus smiled, trying desperately to suppress the urge to blush. He loved it when Sirius winked at him.

It was a well-kept secret that Remus carried a torch for Sirius. It was bound to happen really; Sirius was loud, obnoxious, flamboyant, determined and overall, an idiot.

Opposites attract, as they say.

No, it wasn't just that. Sirius was his closest friend – the dog to his werewolf, as it were. Plus he was kind and sweet (when the situation called for it). And he was gorgeous; shaggy raven hair that had a continuously sexy look of 'I've-just-been-shagged-senseless'; stunningly deep onyx eyes that seemed to smoulder; wonderfully broad and toned muscles that came from playing beater on the Quidditch team. It was impossible not to fall for the delicious specimen that was the Black family heir.

Of course, this realisation of his sexuality brought a series of depression over the summer. Just how cruel was this all-loving God if he had created a gay werewolf? From the very start, Remus has no chance in life. It was these thoughts that pushed him—

"Say, where were you over the summer Remus? I sent you owls inviting you over," Peter said.

The other two nodded. "He's right! I meant to ask . . . where did you bugger off to?" Sirius asked.

Remus fiddled with the hem of his T-shirt. "I was way from home. I was travelling with my dad."

"We missed you Moony," James said with a pout.

"Why? You didn't have any homework."

James feigned shocked. "Good Sir! I hope you don't think we only use you for homework purposes!"

"I hope not as well! What about the other things, like fixing James' hair?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed. "It's a simple colour change hex, James."

James nodded. "Yeah, that's what that boy who was sitting with Lily said. He said it would be easy to undo."

"What boy?" Peter asked.

"Could it be that our little Prongs have competition?" Sirius asked.

James shook his head. "No, he's that kid in sixth year, but he's in some of my classes. You know . . . glasses, black hair, blue eyes. He's really pale too; he probably spends more time in the library than you do, Moony."

Remus tapped his lip thoughtfully. "Oh that sounds like . . . does he go here?"

"I'm so glad I'm acknowledged."

Remus looked at the door and smiled widely. There stood a tall, lean, and alabaster boy with stylishly swept hair, clutching a book. His black spectacles were perched precariously on the edge of his nose, and his deep blue eyes shone with an almost ethereal illumination. He smiled warmly at Remus, who blushed from embarrassment.

"Sorry, I just . . . well, I guess playing babysitter to these three takes up a lot of my time," Remus said, returning the boy's smile.

"You love us really Moons. Hi, I'm James. This is Sirius and Peter. Who are you?"

The boy's voice was soft and warm, reminiscent of another era's gentlemen. He most certainly moved with the grace and elegance. "My name is Ryan Lancaster. I'm very pleased to meet you."

Remus patted the space between him and Sirius. "Come and sit down with us."

"Thank you." Ryan entered and sat down softly on the seat. He turned to Remus. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Remus looked at his lap. "I'm feeling better, thank you."

"The full moon was a few nights ago; were you OK for that?"

"It hurt no more than usual."

Sirius jumped up. "Whoa, let's grab a hold of this situation and take it for a ride, shall we? How does he know?"

"Don't be so rude Sirius. I met Ryan over the summer and he—"

"You've just met?"

Remus groaned. "Yes. We have just met, but if you—"

"We're your best mates, and you didn't tell us until—"

"SIRIUS! Ryan's uncle is Professor Artemis Tern, the most influential European expert on werewolves. Of course he'd recognise the symptoms! He worked it out. Then we began to talk. It's not like I make a habit of telling people of . . . my furry little problem."

Ryan laughed. "That's a sweet euphemism. I like that. I'm sorry if this causes problems for you, but I'm a curious person. I didn't mean to offend anyone."

"You didn't. Sirius is . . . Sirius," James said reassuringly.

"Would you like me to fix your hair?" Ryan asked.

James shook his head. "I think it brings out my eyes."

Peter laughed. "You mean "green like Lily's eyes, which sparkle like emeralds'."

". . . Am I that transparent?"

Remus laughed and shook his head. "Come here, you idiot. She'll take out a restraining order if you're not careful."

"What's that?" James asked, shuffling along the seats to face Remus.

"Consider it the Muggle version of the Revulsion Jinx."

Sirius sighed. "Peter, trade seats with me."

"Why?"

"Because I want to go to, so I'm going to need James. The new kid stole Moony."

Remus frowned. "Padfoot, you have no manners at all, do you?"

Sirius shrugged and swapped seats with Peter. He rested on James' should and grinned. "Come on, you love me really Moony."

"What mother doesn't love her children?"

"We love you mommy Moony," the marauders chorused.

Ryan laughed and opened the book. Remus peered over and saw the morbid sketches of men in the midst of transformation. Their faces were contorted in to masks of unimaginable pain, their bodies twisted as the mutation began. Remus felt the lump in his throat grow as he realized that he did this. That was his face, his body. Ryan looked up and blushed as he realised what he was doing.

"I'm sorry; this seems really insensitive of me. My uncle told me to bring this with me, in case you . . . need help."

The other looked at Ryan. Sirius snorted. "How much help can you get from a book?"

"Sirius, that's enough," Remus snapped. He smiled reassuringly at Ryan. "Thank you. I'm not offended by any of this. Sirius on the other hand is being overly sensitive."

James laughed nervously. "Come on guys; let's not get edgy with each other. We're not even there yet, you can't fall out already. Pads, you need to relax."

Sirius yawned. "Sorry Remus. I'm just tired. Mum was talking my ear off last night and I didn't get to sleep much."

Remus frowned. "What's wrong now?"

"Oh, just the usual shit. I've brought shame on the Black family name by associating with blood traitors and half breeds; I've sullied their family name with my pranks and blatant disregard for the Black code. But this time, she decided to mix it up a bit by telling me that if I don't stop my rambunctious ways, then I'll be disowned."

Remus gasped softly. "Wow, are things that bad?"

Sirius buried his head further in to James shoulder. "Well, I sent you an owl telling you all this stuff. I'm sick of it. I'm thinking of leaving home." Sirius groaned. "Damn it Prongs, you're a useless pillow!"

James sighed and stood up, sending Sirius sideward. "Fine then, Pads! Remus, switch with me and then fix my hair. I think I'm getting Slytherinitis just by having green hair."

Remus laughed and switched places with James. Sirius grinned and nuzzled in to Remus' shoulder, causing a faint cherry blush to grace Remus' porcelain cheeks. He muttered a counter-jinx, and James' hair returned to its natural black. Ryan watched, smiling. "Does Lily do this often?" he asked.

"It's a token of her affection," James said, smiling.

"In your dreams," Sirius scoffed.

James sat back and sighed dreamily. "Lily Evans is always in my dreams. I would die for her."

Remus laughed. "That is sweet; romantic. 'You have an ass that won't quit' is not what girls want to hear."

Peter tittered, shoving another chocolate frog in his mouth. "I need to get out of Slughorn's remedial Potions this year. If I don't . . . I don't want to even think about what my family would do to me."

"Just do what I do; I blame James," Sirius mumbled, eyes closed.

"See, this is why I have a bad reputation. I'm head boy Sirius! My days of being childish are over now. I'm hanging up the joke book for good and replacing it with a rule book. It's about time the marauders stopped with the immature pranks and worked on becoming well-rounded and functioning members of society."

There was pause. Silence echoed through the compartment.

The silence was broken by three of the four marauders bursting out in to hysterical laughter. "Prongs, come on, I'm tired. Don't make me laugh, it takes up too much energy," Sirius said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"How did you become Head Boy?" Remus sighed.

James winked. "Dumbledore is on my side. He made Lily Head Girl. He wants us to get together!"

"I'm sure Professor Dumbledore's life revolves around you and Lily."

Ryan laughed and smiled at James. "Congratulations on becoming Head Boy."

"Thanks, but Rem should have gotten the role. Let's face it, he's the mature one."

Remus held his finger to his mouth, a gesture to quieten down. "Sirius is asleep," he said in a hushed tone.

Sure enough, Sirius was snoring softly, his head rested on Remus' shoulder. He slowly got up and lay Sirius down across the two seats. Peter shuffled along and Remus sat beside him. He watched Sirius momentarily before returning to the others. "James, I'm surprised at you. You had a chance to sit with Lily in the Prefect compartment, but you didn't take it."

"Wow . . . you're right! I can't believe I did that! What is it muggles say . . . oh yeah! I choose bros before hoes, Moony."

"I'm so glad that that is the extent of your muggle knowledge, Prongs," Remus said dryly.

James was about to comment on how his knowledge of muggle culture was far greater than a simple rhyme, when the compartment door slid open. A tall girl stood in the doorway, flipping her blonde locks behind her shoulder. "Hi, Remus! How was your summer?" she asked.

"It was great, Alice. How was yours?"

"Oh you know . . . so-so. I went to the beach, did my homework, got engaged, I bought a new wand . . . same old really."

Remus grinned widely and leapt to his feet, embracing Alice in a suffocating embrace. "Congratulations! When did this happen?"

"Last night! He came around to see me before I left and he proposed there and then!"

"That's so romantic, Alice."

James snorted. "You definitely had a penis when we got on the train. What happened, Moons?"

"Shut it, Potter. If you were as sensitive as Remus, then Lily wouldn't have hexed you," Alice snapped.

"Fix me," James whined.

Ryan sighed and pulled out his wand. He muttered an incantation, and smiled as the bright green darkened to a raven. "There you go, James."

"Thanks!"

Sirius stirred and turned to face the chair's back. Remus shook his head at the others. "We have to be quiet," he whispered.

"What are you, his mother?" James snorted.

Remus blushed. "Shut up!"

Ryan frowned thoughtfully and then smiled. He'd ask when the time was right.

"Remus, you have to wake him anyway. We're nearly there and he's not even in his robes yet."

Remus sighed and gently shook Sirius. "Come on, Pads. It's time to get changed."

"You do it for me," he mumbled.

"A tempting offer, but no."

Sirius whimpered like an injured puppy and sat up. "No fair, Moony."

Remus smiled and pulled down his changing bag from the storage compartment above them. "I'll be right back," he said."

"Oh, don't leave on my account! I'll need to go anyway. Bye Remus! Bye Ryan! Bye . . . others."

Alice skipped away merrily. Remus laughed and made his exit too; ignoring the confused look Ryan was giving him.

The fact was, not one of his friends had seen his body exposed.

They'd shared a dorm room for years, but Remus was always the first to be dressed for bed and the first to wake up.

It wasn't that he was prudish, or embarrassed of his physique. He was just . . .

Remus pulled the robes over his head in the secluded corner. Quick and without fuss, he pulled the robe down, hiding his marred skin.

Scars.

It was as simple as that really. His skin was disfigured by revolting, monstrous scars. Most were from the transformations, the others . . . pain was cleansing. That's what his father told him. The pain meant he was sorry for what he was.

Remus gripped his robes, feeling his nails dig in to his skin. His poor father . . . imagine the emotions he must have went through. Imagine the surprise, the fury, the anguish, the sheer disbelief he must have experienced when devout catholic William Lupin, son of a vicar, married a . . . pagan worshipping temptress.

A witch.

Imagine how he felt when she gave birth to a child. A child, who he thinks can purge his wife of her sins. How he then felt when she died, before she could be cleansed.

Now, if you can, imagine how this little child grew up. He was loved by the village, such a sweet and polite little boy. Until one day, for no apparent reason, a book comes flying off the top shelf, directly in to his tiny hands. The look on his father's face warned him—it was best not to anger him further.

The night of the full moon, Remus had been in a church. His farther often left him, making him prey for forgiveness for some mishap. Our father, I'm sorry for the book flying, the window breaking, the flowers growing . . . He had to walk home alone though. The streets were dimly lit, the cobbled stones beneath his feet blending in perfectly with the snow on the forest floor. He was nearly home, nearly at his tainted sanctuary . . . when it went black.

The next full moon, William prayed for his son.

The letter from Hogwarts was bittersweet. Accepting it meant freedom, meant being around people who'd understand, people who'd accept him. Accepting it meant turning his back on his faith, and on his father.

So here he was—alone and exposed, despite the many layers he wore. It turned out that he had been wrong—no one would understand. Dumbledore has warned him on the first day. "You are different, young Remus. You've faced demons others have feared. You've seen evils that should never expose themselves to someone so innocent. Does that make you strange? No. It makes you strong, my boy."

He entered the compartment again to find everyone dressed, bar Sirius, who was lying back lazily. "Hey, Remus," he said, the signature cheeky grin playing on his lips.

"Sirius. Dressed. Now."

Sirius pouted. "But I wanted you to dress me."

Remus fought desperately to keep the blush at bay, fearing he may have failed. "Listen, Pads. You can't be in trouble on the first night! Put your robes on."

"Alright! Man . . . I didn't think you were so desperate to see me in my kit."

"It's my life's dream," he replied dryly.

The rest of the journey went off without a hitch. No pranks were played, no more trips to Lily's compartment were made, no more unexpected visitors arrived and no more rain fell. It was almost as if the hectic and strange atmosphere felt its actions would pale in comparison to the bustle and abnormal events of the castle.

Ryan smiled brightly at Remus. "I'll be in your classes this year," he said.

"Really? How?"

"Professor Dumbledore believes our friendship would have mutual benefits."

"Oh . . . well doesn't that make me feel like you wanted to spend time with me?"

Ryan looked up at him, eyes wide. "I didn't mean to insinuate I didn't want to spend time with you! On the contrary, I—"

James ruffled Ryan's hair. "Remus Survival Rule One—that tone means he's joking. Stick with me kiddo, and you'll be fine."

"Sticking with you doesn't mean he'll be fine. Sticking with you means he's more likely to get detention."

"Rule Two—he says that because he cares."

Peter laughed and grinned at Ryan, an action that could easily be mistaken for a sneer. "So, are you one of the Lancasters? You're from the actual pure-blood family from Cambridge?"

"Yes, although you can call me Ryan. It just seems easier than "one of the Lancasters"."

James laughed. "You'll fit in well!"

Ryan smiled and was about to thank James, when the Hogwarts Express shuddered to a stop. Peter looked out the window. "We're here."

"Yeah, well done Pete!" Sirius said.

They gathered their belongings and made a hasty exit from the train. Ryan and Remus walked behind the other Marauders. Remus turned to Ryan. "Mutually beneficial . . . I can see how I would benefit. But how do you? Am I a test subject?"

Ryan gasped. "No! Of course not! I'm just . . . I . . . social interactions have never been my forte, whilst it seems to be one of yours."

"I see . . . I suppose it makes sense. Isn't it one of the first principles of alchemy? Of course Dumbledore would think of this."

"You're not a means, Remus."

"I didn't think I was. Don't worry . . . I think you'll be a valued friend to me."

Ryan smiled and nodded. "And you."

They rode in the carriage together, swapping stories and adventures. Ryan and Remus mainly kept quiet—Ryan felt his input was unnecessary and Remus . . . just didn't feel like boasting about his summer. That was, until Sirius decided to pry.

"So, you travelled. Where did you go?"

"Around the countryside. We went to the lake district for the most part."

"With your dad?"

"Yes . . ."

Sirius patted Remus' leg. "I'm coming next time. I heard muggles have tents that don't expand on the inside."

Remus nodded. "It's true. And of course you come along Pads!"

Ryan chewed his lip thoughtfully. The carriage stopped and the group climbed out. They all rushed ahead, bar Remus. He looked around, ensuring no one was there to witness this. He went in to his pockets and pulled out some sugar cubes and handed them to the Thestrals. Their barbed tongues scratched Remus' palms, but he didn't flinch away. "Thanks guys. You did well today," he whispered.

He gathered his bag and sped away to catch up with the others. He met them in the Great Hall, red-faced and panting. "Where'd you go, Moons?" James asked.

"Oh . .. some second-year dropped their bag. I had to give it back to her," he said.

"Our Moony, a good Samaritan," James laughed.

Suddenly the Great Hall went quiet—Dumbledore had rose, his twinkling eyes surveying the Great Hall. "Good evening. I hope I find you all well. Before we begin the Sorting, I'd like to tell you all this. This year will prove to be a challenging year for all of us. Some will grow; others will try to stop you. Some will grow closer, whilst other leave. And when the time comes, you'll need to make a choice. A choice which be your legacy. But for now . . . let the Sorting commence!"

The Sorting and banquet commenced and by ten, everyone was well fed and ready for bed. The masses escaped from the crowded hall, the Marauders separated. Ryan grabbed Remus' sleeve. "Remus . . . may I ask you a . . . personal question?"

"Of course."

"What is your relationship with Sirius?"

Remus turned to Ryan, panic evident in his warm chocolate eyes. "What do you mean? Do you think he knows? Oh, Merlin . . ."

"N-no! Of course he doesn't! I just . . . recognise the mannerisms. The two of you must really like him."

Remus frowned, gripping the railing as the staircase moved. "The two of us?"

"Yes, you and your wolf. Technically, you're two separate entities, hence the human and now-emerging wolf behaviours towards him."

"What behaviours?"

"You reached wolf-maturity this summer. That's why we were introduced. Uncle Artemis believes that the wolf will play a more dominant role in your life now."

"Fantastic."

Ryan put his hand on Remus' forearm. "That's why I'm here. This is your benefit. I can assist you through this. I know what I'm looking for."

Remus sighed and looked up at the ceiling. A moving mural showed unicorns running through the forest, their silken manes glinting in the moonlight. Such beautiful creatures . . . creatures that didn't bare a curse or evil connotations.

"Thank you, Ryan. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. But I didn't think I can be helped. I can never be cleansed of this."

He mumbled the password to the fat Lady and scrambled through the hole. He turned to Ryan and nodded solemnly. "Goodnight."

This is my first HP fanfiction. So any help, comments or constructive criticism you give me is much appreciated.

So what do you think?

Thanks for checking out my first chapter!