Title: The Heart of the Matter

Author: Tearsofamiko

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I own nothing about the White Collar series, its characters or plotlines, including any recognizable dialogue. Why rub it in?

Spoilers: Hard Sell

Summary: Time passes, people grow, and things change; what was once, does not always last.

A/N: I think I'm gonna slow down with the stories. Never really gotten a bad review before and am kinda shell-shocked right now; it's hard to keep myself from ripping everything down and cowering in a corner. Maybe some people need to get over themselves or maybe I need a thicker skin, but it does make me think I need to take a break. I've loved getting reviews in the past, but now I'm afraid to see I've got mail. Think I'm gonna focus on my homework for a while now...

This story is complete.

.:::.

"Did you ever love him?" His eyes are intense, cold, unforgiving as he stares down at her. She can't say anything, is frozen as the memories crash over her.

Soft, warm kisses on lazy rainy days spent in bed, the taste of wine and love and him enough to make her head spin.

Carefree days spent laughing and playing in the park like children, like normal people, like everyday lovers.

Nights spent planning and mapping and researching, surrounded by books and papers and containers of takeout as they figure out who, what, where, when, and how.

The look she sees in his eyes as she cons a faceless target into a back alley and the desperation in his body that night as he reclaims her for himself.

The one harried day she spent pacing and clutching her phone, waiting for a call from Mozzie and wishing they'd never decided to cross Wilkes and his crew.

The way his eyes go hesitant and secretive when she asks too many questions.

The days he and Mozzie would hole up in another room, talking softly, working for hours without allowing her into the room.

The expression on his face when he found her pistol, tucked safely into the pocket of her coat, and the almost-sickness in his eyes when she refused to get rid of it.

His flash-burn anger during one of their more spectacular fights and words hurled like daggers -- I can do this without you, you know! I was fine before you and I'll be fine after!

His little-boy glee at barely escaping from custody once again and the sullen silences after she comments on the dangerous game he's playing with the Feds.

One last, desperate kiss, his fingers digging into her arms, before she's flying down an alleyway, the piercing wail of sirens driving her, and she doesn't look back at all.

Dull blue eyes filled with desperate longing as he gazes hungrily at her through plexi-glass, as he studies her face and soaks in her voice.

The hesitance in his voice and the wild look in his eyes when she asks him, begs him to tell her where he put everything – I can't. It's the only leverage I've got.

He nods, a knowing expression on his face, as she doesn't answer, can't find the words even to tell herself. "Tell Fowler I know, and I'm not backin' off."

"Peter!" She can't stop herself, can't help the desperation as she tries to get him to understand, just a little. "Don't push him." She's not sure who she's warning him about and the smirk on his face tells her he only heard the words, not the duality behind them.

And, God help her, she's not sure what she really wants, anyway.

.:::.

A/N2: (posted 3-4-10) Alrighty, guys, sorry to be so dramatic. I was tired and upset, but I'm not going to stop writing or posting, I'm not taking anything down, and I'm not going to ban anyone. Please, though, if you'd like to leave a honestly critical (good or bad) review, PM me, don't post it here. I'd appreciate that courtesy.

Thank you all for your support!