This story was adopted from Creativesmurph. The first two chapters not written by me at all, except for the ...thingy your reading right now. After chapter 2 I'll publish my own words, and I'm going to cut out the bad language in mine.

Let Go

Summary: After years of tolerating scrutiny, cruel tricks and unfriendliness, Mikan Sakura has changed inside. Outside, she maintains the happy, cheery appearance she's known, and loathed for, but inside, she's becoming dark, and occasionally she has horrible visions of death and destruction. To cope with her problems, and still seem her cheerful old self, she starts using drugs, and slowly her mental health deteriorates.

A/N: Meh.

Disclaimer: I don't own Alice Academy or anything associated with it. I'm merely a fan who also happens to be somewhat creative in the writing field.

Strict Warning:This story contains dark themes, like drug use. If you are easily offended, then this story isn't suitable for your reading.

Chapter One: Depression

The corridors are so dark, Mikan thought while she walked along the path to her classroom, It's as if all the people have died. She shook her head. Why would anybody be dead? They were in the classroom, learning. And she was running late and would undoubtedly be punished for it. What else would he do besides give me detention? Demand I write a hundred times on the chalk board? He's already had me do that, she thought of Mr. Jinno bitterly. He always found minutiae excuses to punish her. He gave her detention almost every day, and his general demeanor towards her was harsh. At first, she had tried to win his approval, but with passing time, she had given up, consciously, knowing she would never win the cold-hearted bastard's approval. Who the fuck told me I needed it?

As the door to her classroom approached, Mikan's morose face transformed into a mask of energy and cheerfulness. As she turned her walking steps into bouncy springs, she came in front of his face, his angry face, and though outside she adopted a meek look, inside she was defiant and spiteful.

"Where have you been, Ms. Sakura!?" Jinno screamed at her, "You're late again!" What else is new? "For this, you will be given detention today!"

Why don't you take your detention and shove it up your ugly ass, you fuck?

Mikan nodded timidly. She walked into the classroom and smiled brightly at everyone. Glum, uninterested faces stared back. Instead of decreasing, her smile increased greatly and she trotted over to Hotaru, her best friend, to give her a hug. The reply to her warmth was a punch in the face by the baka gun.

Stony little bitch, aren't ya? She smiled dismissively, the huge red spot on her face painfully visible, and walked to her seat.

"Why do you always have to go over and hug her? You know she's never going to hug an idiot like you" Sumire sneered, her lackeys snickering and agreeing with her.

Hello, how's your green head doing today, Bitch?

A scoff came from behind her. Mikan looked over her shoulder.

"You're telling an idiot that?" Natsume said, "She probably didn't even understand you"

Why don't you roll over and die already? Just save me the misery. Suddenly, Mikan wished everybody was dead.

Hours later in detention, Mikan didn't pout as she used to, she had stopped doing that 3 years ago, aged 15, but instead she sat there quietly, and stared at the clock.

"Why won't you act even a little friendly to me!?" an eleven-year-old Mikan pouted at an eleven-year-old Hotaru.

Hotaru's expressionless face stared at her, "Because you're an idiot"

3:30, lunch time's passed.

"You're not even my real friend" Hotaru said to her, twelve years old both of them.

4:15, dinner's closing in.

"I don't get why all of you are so mean to me!" Mikan whined one day at school, a thirteen-year-old girl in tears.

"Will you stop crying, you're annoying me" Natsume growled.

5:25, dinner's really close.

"Will you stop!?" Mikan yelled to the classroom one day, fourteen years old and really shaken.

"Oh, what a cry-baby!" Sumire snorted.

6:00, detention's over.

"Detention's over" Mikan whispered in an eerie voice, her eyes lifelessly focused on the clock. When the door opened, her face had transformed into the picture of cheerfulness.

Narumi stared at her happily, "Mikan, detention's over"

"Will I get dinner now?" Mikan asked eagerly, even though she didn't feel at all hungry.

"Sure you will!"

As she sat dining in the nearly empty cafeteria, she felt like throwing up every bit of her food.

Since her entry into Alice Academy 8 years ago, Mikan had become much more attractive. She didn't tie ponytails anymore, instead keeping her long hair flowing, tying some of it back from her face. The hairstyle was pretty simple. And she had become much taller, taller than most of the other girls and really in shape.

She was thin, but not too thin, something of an hourglass figure. And though she was really simple and stayed mostly away from make-up, she was still naturally pretty. Guys who had eyes tallied her immediately, and usually they would stare at her and admire her. But around the classroom they were still despicably mean.

She took another bite of carrots and peas. She hated that dish, particularly the boiled carrots, but somehow it was always served to her, even though she had accumulated two stars now. It's probably the cafeteria people. They've always hated me. She was finished. She thrust the plate aside and put the napkin to her mouth. Moments later, she got up and started walking out, towards Central Town.

As she walked by the brightly lit stores, she found it hard to imagine that once she had been excited and happy at the prospect of coming here. What was so special? It was just a bunch of stores, whose merchandise she still could not afford because they still didn't give her enough rabbits.

But the thought didn't annoy her anymore, mostly because she didn't want to buy anything anymore. Not even candy. When she came down here occasionally, all she would do was walk around and look at other students, excited and much happier students, shop around merrily. And whenever she looked at this scene, after staring long seconds, the happy images would turn into horrific, bloody nightmares where everybody was dying on the streets.

And, momentarily, she relished. She never felt ashamed anymore about thinking these things. Why would she feel ashamed? Nobody else felt ashamed when they picked on her.

She came in front of a cheerfully decorated Florist's Shop, and she stared sullenly at the flowers. "Would you like to buy some flowers?" a rather fake, cheerful stocky man asked her, "One arrangement costs 7 rabbits"

"No, thank you" she said smilingly, though inside she felt cold and indifferent and not at all thankful for him asking her. How could I live with myself paying so much money for flowers that will eventually wilt? I would have to be crazy. She walked on.

In other stalls, she saw other kinds of merchandise. Most of them were pretty useless, and some of them weren't even nice to look at. And yet people are buying them. Looking at those people, she thought wryly, They must get a lot of allowance. And they must have pretty big rooms.

When she returned to her room, she was feeling tired. Not physically tired, but mentally tired. She plopped down on her bed and kicked off her shoes. She looked around her room solemnly. It was much better than the one she had been given when she first arrived at the Academy. The bed was much more comfortable, the walls were a cream color and not clinical white, she was allowed to have posters and boards, and she also had a desk.

But she hated this room. It didn't make her feel good or comfortable. It wasn't a citadel, a haven or anything. She just didn't feel at home. Home was gone, anyway. Her grandfather had died two years ago. It only added more pain, this feeling of not belonging, to her dull, blank angry existence.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep, futile breath. Then she slowly laid herself down on her bed, and drifted off to a dreamless sleep, like she always had for the past three years.

After all, she had to stand the pain of tomorrow morning.

End of Chapter

I really don't feel like explaining much I'm just trying to practice my writing more. I'm better than before, though, and now I feel really proud of my fics. Before I used to cringe. I've already released two stories, The Gargoyle and Remains of a Broken Soul. This is my third since coming back onto the Internet circle. I intend to write some more stories. I've already got two storylines swirling in my head. If this fic seemed a bit rushed, I apologize. This came in a real flurry. (And yes, I might be hazy about the baka gun. Was it the punching thing or the one that flung Mikan into the sky?)