NOTE: I hardly put any effort into this at all, so it most likely won't be a good fanfic, but I can guarentee it will be hilarious at many points, although this isn't really written in high quality lines. This may take a few chapters to really start to get funny. I will try to update this every day or two. Alright, here it goes. Would appreciate constructive critism. R&R!

Peeta yawns, tries to get out of bed but realizes he isn't in a bed at all.

Peeta says: "What the heck? I'm not in my house. I'm somewhere in the wilderness."

Effie's voice rings out across the wilderness saying: "I WAS NEVER ON YOUR SIDE. I WILL DESTROY ALL PEOPLE WHO HAVE BAD TABLE MANNERS."

Peeta says: "You'll destroy all who have bad table manners. OH, OH."

Effie says: "Yes. Anyone who has had bad table manners in the past will get transported to this arena to get pwned by my brand new portable missile launcher."

Peeta says: "Portable missile launcher?"

Effie says: "Yes, the missile launcher is pointing at you, if you care about your life."

DUN DUN DUN!

Peeta says: "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Effie says: "Somewhere in the Capitol and you're somewhere out in some random wilderness. Oh yeah, and you can get sponsors that want people with bad table manners to live, but I will only be letting BAD gifts in. Since you have bad table manners, I wonder if the bad gifts would pwn you, but oh well. Goodbye for now."

Peeta says: "Darn."

Peeta hears a missile.

Peeta says: "Shoot. I won't get my chance to go out with Katniss after all."

The sound of the missile gets louder.

Peeta sees a white package floating down from the sky!

Peeta says: "A GIFT! FOR ME! I NEED IT!"

Meanwhile, at the Capitol...

Effie says: "Good morning, Haymitch. It's time for another BIG, BIG, BIG DAY!"

Haymitch says: "What? But the Hunger Games aren't on."

Effie says: "That's too bad."

Effie picks Haymitch up and stuffs him into a package used for gifts in the Hunger Games!

Haymitch says: "HEY, HEY, HEY! STOP! THIS IS PHYSICAL BULLYING!"

Effie closes the box with Haymitch inside it.

Effie says: "Too bad."

Haymitch says: "What did I ever do to you? DESTROY."

Haymitch begins to eminate an aura of power.

Effie quickly sends Haymitch to the arena for people with bad table manners.

Haymitch begins to shoot fireballs at where he thinks Effie is, but since he's already above the arena, he's shooting fireballs downwards, sending danger at whoever's below.

Meanwhile, in the arena...

The gift is almost in Peeta's reach!

The missile hits the gift!

The gift is on top of the missile!

Peeta says: "Darn. Close enough. Might as well try again, though."

Peeta runs in the direction of where the missile went.

Peeta hears an explosion.

Peeta says: "Too late. I didn't expect to run faster than a missile, anyways."

The gift, which somehow survived the blast zooms toward Peeta and hit him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

About 1 hour later...

Peeta wakes up.

Peeta sees the gift that knocked him unconscious as well as another larger gift beside it that's shooting fireballs.

Peeta says: "A fireball-emitting gift? THAT'S DANGEROUS! I should dispose of it now."

Peeta kicks the fireball-emitting gift off of a nearby cliff, causing it to land in the stream below.

Meanwhile, inside the box of the gift that just landed in the stream...

Haymitch feels around the inside of the box.

It begins to feel damp.

Haymitch realizes that the box is sinking underwater.

DUN DUN DUN!

Meanwhile, at Peeta...

Peeta says: "Well, that's done. Time to see what the other gift is."

Peeta opens the gift that hit him in the face.

Peeta finds a COOL DEVICE!

Peeta says: "Wow! A COOL DEVICE! COOL!"

COOL DEVICE begins to glow red!

COOL DEVICE explodes!

Peeta gets launched through the air.

Peeta didn't think that was very cool.

Peeta lands on the ground beside the stream and goes unconscious.

Meanwhile, at Haymitch inside of the box...

Haymitch is losing air fast!

Haymitch begins to rock inside of the box!

The box floats onto the shore of the stream!

The water drains out of the box!

Haymitch can't believe he's alive!

Haymitch faints.

Meanwhile, 1 hour later at Peeta...

Peeta wakes up!

Peeta says: "Stupid COOL DEVICE container object item thingy."

Peeta remembers the gift he kicked into the stream that shot fire.

Peeta thinks: Ah! MAYBE IT WAS A FLAMETHROWER! IT COULD BE USEFUL TO SURVIVE OUT HERE!

Peeta runs to the stream and sees a box by the shore.

Peeta opens the box!

Peeta sees Haymitch!

Peeta says: "Wow! I got an apprentice!"

Haymitch says: "Uugh... Where am I? What happened? Who are you?"

Peeta says: "I am your master. BOW DOWN TO ME."

Haymitch says: "Bother."

Peeta says: "Let's see some fireball magic like you did before!"

Haymitch says: "Wait a second... you're Peeta!"

Peeta says: "How do you know my name? YOU STALKER."

Haymitch says: "I was your mentor for the 74th Hunger Games."

Peeta says: "Haymitch? OH YEAH. But how did you shoot fire?"

Haymitch says: "That's the effects of being exposed to radiactive bathroom plungers for several years."

Peeta says: "Oh. That's intense."

Haymitch says: "Indeed."

Peeta says: "What's actually happening, anyways?"

Haymitch says: "Effie has been acting evil and has formed a hatred for bad table manners. More people will probably be turning up in this old arena used for the 38th Hunger Games."

Peeta says: "You still remember that?"

Haymitch says: "Yes. I'm amazing like that."

Peeta says: "What do we do now?"

Haymitch says: "Get back up these cliffs. This area is surrounded by them."

Peeta says: "How are we supposed to do that?"

Haymitch says: "No idea."

Peeta says: "Bother."

ATTENTION, REVIEWERS! You may send 2 gifts per chapter to a character in the arena (currently either Peeta or Haymitch). One must be useful and the other must be harmful to the character. I'll be sure to include all the gifts posted in reviews every chapter and post the character's reactions to it and what he/she will use it for. It will also help if the gift is completely random. Once there are at least 3 gifts posted by reviewers, I will post chapter 2. R&R!