DISCLAIMER: Still don't own anything. Still not making money from this.

A/n: So... it's been forever. And I feel rusty, so... let me know if I suck now. And I don't know where this even came from. And honestly, it's a little depressing. But, hey, happens. Enjoy it anyway. Oooh, and then leave me a review?? =) Graci.

JANUARY 24TH

It's January 24th.

It's Jess' birthday, and they've got plans.

But that's not what Sam's thinking about. Hell, it's not even his first thought when he wakes up.

It's January 24th.

It's Dean's birthday, and he hasn't spoken to his brother in ages.

He should call. Knows he should. Even if the only thing he says before he hangs up is Happy Birthday.

Or maybe I love you.

Or, I miss you.

I'm sorry.

He's laying in bed, chewing on his bottom lip, waiting for the sun to rise. He should call. Even if he doesn't say anything, because even that would be enough for Dean.

Dean, his big brother, his hero - hell, Dean might as well be his father. He raised him. Helped him with his homework, patched up his skinned knees and make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Stole him birthday and Christmas presents. Dean tried so hard for Sam, so the least he could do is call the man on his birthday.

But dammit, he isn't moving. Isn't swinging his legs over the bed, isn't reaching for his phone.

Isn't going to call his brother on his birthday.

He's a selfish jerk, and he knows it. Sam wants normal and safe and school and friends and Dean isn't conducive to any of that. As much as he loves his brother… he just can't have both.

So he spends January 24th with Jess and their friends, doing normal, every day things.

And on January 25th he can't even bring himself to listen to the drunken message Dean left him this year.

He knows what it'll say.

It's January 25th and he's a bad brother.