I feel my desire wane, but I refuse to let this story die. The chapter I had planned for #3 has now turned into #7. This story has been completely revamped from what I conceptualized that day on the dentist's table. Who knows when the next chapter will come, but I want to get the whole thing out before Superfast Jellyfish is released. I don't want to have to change anything to match what may be revealed in that video.

Gorillaz does not belong to me.

Working the Machine

Chapter 3: Little Memories: Marching On

I would like to talk to you. You wanted to know what it was like, correct? I believe I am ready to tell you. But things are still a bit raw, and so I hope you will forgive me if at any point I cannot continue. (Just breathe.)

Alright. I am ready.

My lips were constantly chapped and my feet were always burning. The feeling was very unpleasant, yet bearable. That seemed to be the description for most things in that place. Most.

It was not how I had personally imagined it at all, but somehow it fit the image in a depraved way. The occupants mostly paid me no heed, despite the fact I looked nothing like them. Of course, there was the odd man, after all the place was renowned for the degenerates that resided there, but if things got a bit dangerous I was generally able to take care of myself.

The whole situation was really quite strange. The place is famous for its' chaos on the surface, but in reality, it presented itself with a bizarre civility. My very presence was breaking several rules, and so I ought to have been booted out without a fuss. But I was too valuable to just set free, and so they sought me out. They hunted me.

Yes, it's true I had no clothing. They were long gone. I was in there for years, and they were just normal clothes! Of course they would be gone. And so, I was naked for a long time, in more ways than one. It used to be a thing of great fear for me, but after a while I was no longer bothered. It is a natural thing, a thing of beauty. No, do not look away. You wanted to know, did you not? I am a woman now.

That day, as with most days, I spent my time avoiding his subordinates. It was easy for someone such as me, for I was faster and stronger than them. He dared not send his best, I don't think he was certain who would win. At the time, neither was I. Looking back on it now, I am relieved he did not send them. My luck would be much worse if he had. But I suppose if he had truly wanted me, he would have come himself. At that point, I was just a useful thing that had stumbled into his domain.

My past life was but a glimmer of things too strange to think about. In that place, I could no longer relate myself with those memories. That was the beginning of the end, I think. Although my humanity made me a target, I am ashamed to say that I was almost grateful it was slipping away from me. It made it… much easier to exist in that place. However it also made it easier for them to affect me. But there was one thing that nagged me, a tiny annoying thought that persisted no matter how ghastly my psyche got.

(Where was he?)

I was alone. Alone. It was the first time I had truly felt that way. (It would not be the last.)

They seemed to feed off my depression, and each of them that I disposed of seemed to come back bigger and stronger than before. But despite that, I controlled myself and forced myself to keep on moving. I badly wanted to give up. I was so tired. (I still am.)

How long or far I walked, I never found out. Long and arduous as my journey was, I managed to find solace in the fact that I was there in your place. If they had succeeded, you surely would have died down there. No… please… please do not cry. I do not blame you. I would do it again if it meant that you would survive. I forced myself to give up many things in that place, but I saved the memory that I was there for someone I loved. It kept me alive. (You kept me alive.)

What I did know was that my presence had attracted them. I felt their eyes on me constantly, but I opted to ignore it. I knew they were planning a move and whenever they decided to act, my body would move on it's own. Just like it always had.

It was hard to keep them out of my mind, and it was even enjoyable to let them in. Feeling strong, I granted them access to my memories, a move that I can't seem to regret even now. Yes, I know it was stupid. I do not need to you tell me that, logic itself tells me that. But logic and emotion rarely see eye to eye. I believe if I had not let the right one in, I would still be there and not here. (With you.)

I felt them prodding around, searching for something they could use. I experienced the anger they felt when they realized what I had done to myself. For one second, I allowed myself to be proud of what I could do now that I had given up so much. But that one second was all they needed. A crack in my armour was found and exploited, and they had come out with something to use. And then suddenly my demented pride flushed away, and they were in front of me in a swift move that visibly startled me.

There were many more than I had expected. More than he had sent in the past, a small army. This time, I knew victory would not come so easy, if it even came at all. Their eyes openly raked over my naked form, and I remember that was the first time it gave me a strange pleasure. (…Forgive me. It must be hard for you to hear that.) I looked into the different faces of those that surrounded me and I knew the simple truth:

They wanted me.

They would have to kill me first.

…I believe that was his plan all along.