Author's Note: All right, so it's a little bit past three in the morning, and I'm really, really tired as hell. Like, you guys don't even know. I feel like everything's in slow motion. Anyway. I wrote this story for my Internet friend Damn Expensive Eggs, the writer of many awesome fanfics (she has a new one up now with a crazy name, check it out, it's awesome), and I wrote it for our friendship anniversary because I'm awesome like that. Okay, so this is my first update on this site since April last year, so I hope it's good enough. I really like the way it came out. The title was really the hardest thing to come up with and I still feel it isn't accurate... wait, that word isn't right... appropriate? I dunno. It doesn't seem to fit, is what I'm trying to say.

For those of you reading my other fanfics, I'll try to update Shoes and Vegas as soon as I can. I'm still having trouble with Tangled Web, though... I have a few other South Park fanfic ideas floating around too, and I'm also moving into a different fandom as well (the fandom that will forever haunt me, but it's a loving haunt, it's a bad romance ;D). So... I'm a busy girl. And that's only my fandom life! Whew.

Summary: A normal conversation between Craig and Tweek. Well, as normal as anyone could get with Tweek.

Pairings: Creek. Obviously.

Warnings: Slash. Violence, sorta, not really. Language, yeah, a lot. Tweek freaking out, of course. Oh, and Lady GaGa.

Disclaimer: Do people even use these anymore? I don't own South Park. Sorry, I'm not that awesome (I'm just not that great... okay no more reciting songs...).

Isn't Normal

"You couldn't understand the way I think. Because the way I think, isn't normal."

"Try me."

"Wh… what?"

"I said, 'try me.'"

"… You only like things that are normal."

"Yeah, so? I just don't like the abnormality of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. Now, tell me, are you Stan, Kyle, Kenny, or Cartman?"

"Umm… No?"

"Right. No. You're Tweek. Now, try me, how do you think?"

"ERG – that's way too much pressure, Craig! I can't just… SAY how I think!"

Snow crunched beneath the two boys feet as they walked down the sidewalk, both having missed their bus home and having no other transportation than their own legs. Either of them could have phoned their parents if they wanted to, but Craig saw this as an opportunity to get to know the blond better, so he offered to walk Tweek home, and after much spazzing on Tweek's behalf, and much consolidation on Craig's, Tweek hesitantly agreed. However, a conversation with Tweek Tweak, Craig was about to find out, wasn't easy, but he was determined to understand the spaz beside him. Or, perhaps, be able to fully understand his insane crush that had developed over the years.

They were only in junior high – eighth grade to be exact – and yet Craig found Tweek to be somehow, for a lack of a better word, irresistible. To say he was in love with him went too far, he reasoned, because love was something that he thought was just too mature of a thought for a fourteen year old such as him to handle. But he did find himself constantly blushing, staring, and wanting to touch the twitchy blond. And that had to mean at least something, Craig reasoned with himself. He gave a small smile when he thought of how much he used to hate Tweek. That was elementary school, though, and only because he thought Tweek hated him for no reason (well, there were reasons, Craig muttered to himself darkly, but only because of them).

The two were side by side on the sidewalk, Craig on the side that was near the road – ("I can't be near that side, Craig! A car will just come up… and… and HIT me! Oh GOD, don't let a car hit me, Craig!"). The black-haired teen's hand twitched at his side, aching to hold the blond's. In fact, he probably would have already tried, if Tweek hadn't been holding his thermos with a death grip – ("If I even so much as loosen one finger, I will DROP it! You know I would! And then coffee would go everywhere! And not the coffee, OHGOD, not the coffee!"). Craig sneaked a glance in Tweek's direction, a small blush etching its way onto his cheeks.

Tweek was holding the thermos at his chin, his eyes partially closed. His cheeks were red from the cold, and the steam from the coffee was rising slowly. There was only one word for it – cute. 'Why is he so goddamn adorable?!' Craig shouted in his head, grabbing the earflaps of his chullo down in a frustrated fashion, then realizing this would look weird, tried to pass it off as something he did normally. He glanced over at Tweek to see that the blond wasn't even paying attention, just blowing softly at the steam coming from his thermos. Craig let out an inaudible sigh and tried to elicit more responses from the other.

"… Okay, how about I ask questions and you answer?"

"GAH, NO! If you start asking questions, I… I won't know how to answer them! And then, ohgawd, what if you asked something I'd be too uncomfortable to answer? And then you think it's because I'm mad at you! Then we'd get into a fight, and everything would be just this HUGE misunderstanding – and – and – and!"

"Tweek! Calm down!"

After Tweek took a huge gulp of hair, he exclaimed, "Exactly!"

"… What?"

"That was some of my thought process."

"You think like that?" Well. Hot damn. This is quite interesting. Craig then berated himself for sounding British… well, as much as saying 'quite' would make you sound British…

"Well, yeah. But sometimes it's even worse – like you know how sometimes people don't answer texts right away?"

"Um, yeah?" Craig blinked. Tweek was actually going to let him know how he thought… he smiled. This really would be interesting.

"Well, sometimes I'll be texting four or more people, and no one will text me back. So, my first instinct is everyone's mad at me or trying to ignore me – like remember that one time we did that to Cartman?"

"That was years ago, Tweek. We wouldn't do the same thing again, especially to you. Why would we want to ignore you?"

"I don't know! And when I can't think of anything I did wrong – which I always wonder if I did anything wrong – I start thinking I'm… I'm… erg – GAH! – that I'm DEAD!"

"Excuse me?"

"You know, dead! And that I was sent to Hell! And that my Hell was living in the normal world and not knowing I'm dead! And that's why no one can text me back, because they're not really getting my texts, because I'm dead! But I think everyone's getting my texts, so I think everyone is mad at me or hates me, and then I end up lonely! And that's what my Hell would be – loneliness!"

Craig blinked and hesitated with his answer, fiddling with the strings on his chullo. "You think too much, Tweek."

"GAH – see! I knew you wouldn't understand. I don't – erg – think normally."

Craig slightly grimaced, mad at himself for upsetting the guy beside him… "Aww, c'mon. Tell me more. Here, I'll pick a topic for you…"

"Oh God…"

"… Umm…" What was something to talk about? What was something to talk about? What was something to talk about…? … Eureka! "well, you hate commercials, right?" Idiot!

"Commercials! OHGOD, OH JESUS – don't remind me of commercials, Craig!"

Craig quickly tried to calm the blond down, "They're just advertisements, Tweek. Lousy advertisements that are longer than need be, but advertisements nonetheless."

"You don't understand, Craig."

Of course I don't. "All right, help me understand. I mean, whenever you're at my house, and the commercials come on, you tell me to turn the TV off – and if I refuse to, to at least mute it. I want to know why. I happen to like to watch commercials." Human idiocy was fun to watch, after all…

"It's the subliminal messaging, man!"

"The subliminal… what, now?"

"Subliminal messaging! Once you start watching them, you can't stop!"

"… Um, okay… I'll believe you on this if you can explain how you know that?"

"Erg – Craig!"

"C'mon. Tell me."

"Okay, okay, fine. I'll tell you – but you're only going to think I'm crazy." Tweek glared at Craig's smile, the smile that said 'I already think you're crazy, Tweekers,' before he continued, "The first time I noticed was when I was watching a commercial."

"Well, I had already guessed that much." This statement only made Tweek pout. Craig had to encourage him to proceed before he would.

"Okay… it was a Folgers commercial – you know, coffee. And I watched this commercial and I wanted coffee! Like, really bad! But I already had coffee, it made no sense! And you know what I did at the end of the commercial? I got up, forgetting whatever show I was watching, walked to the nearest store, and bought Folgers coffee!"

Well, that's normal… "Well, Tweek, you do love coffee, I mean… it doesn't seem that bizarre."

"Craig, my parents own a coffee shop! A coffee shop I help out with! Why would I need to go out and buy coffee I didn't need?!"

… Good question. "Um… oh! Maybe you just wanted a change?"

"Only after I watch the Folgers commercial though! That's what you have to understand."

"Well, I guess you do have a point there…"

"WAIT!" Tweek practically screamed, looking at Craig like he sprouted two heads.

"WHAT?!" Craig yelled back immediately, jumping up five feet in the air, holding his hand to his heart in surprise.

"You LIKE commercials?!"

"Well, yeah – "

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Craig could only bring himself to blink. In fact, blinking was hard enough. Tweek was actually serious. But that wasn't what was odd – Tweek could be serious. That wasn't news. It was the look he was giving Craig. Craig was used to some different expressions on the blond's face a lot of people never ended up seeing, but this one was completely new to him. Tweek was looking at him as if Craig was the worst person he'd ever laid eyes upon. Craig was almost ready to hear Tweek mutter "scum!" but was instead interrupted by Lady GaGa.

Well, not literally. Although that would probably be something that would happen normally in South Park, it wasn't happening today. Craig's cellphone was going off with his normal ringtone, which just happened to be Lady GaGa's song "Bad Romance."

Rah rah ah ah ah ah, ruhma, ruhma ma ma, GaGa ooh la la, want your Bad Romance –

"Hello?"

"CRAIG! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

Whoops, probably should have called Mom. "Walking home. I missed the bus."

"Oh."

Funny. That's usually what Dad says. "Don't just 'oh!' me, Mom," Craig said jokingly and before she could say anything back, continued with, "I'll be home soon. See ya." And again, without waiting for her to say anything back, he hung up. "Sorry about that, Tweek, what were we saying?" He glanced over to the blond.

Tweek was giving him a completely new look again. Before it was disgust, but now, now it was something like… complete and utter horror. What the hell happened? Did he see a deer? Wait, no, that didn't even make sense. Tweek wouldn't be afraid of deer – holy shit, did he see a bear?! Craig looked around worriedly, afraid to see the worst. But no, there wasn't anything around them but houses and snow… And although it could be likely Tweek could be afraid of either of these things – hell, the snow was too white and too cold, and the houses were huge - but no, that couldn't have been it. That would mean he'd be freaking out already, and this look wasn't really his usual freaking out look, this look was just one of pure terror. … Was it Craig's mom? She did yell pretty loud.

"Oh, hey, dude, sorry if my mom scared you. She just gets really scared when I'm not working around her schedule and then she takes it out on me and," Before he could continue, Tweek started to sputter out words that at first sounded like nonsense, so Craig stopped talking so he could get out whatever he wanted to say.

"L-L-L-La-Lady – LADY GAGA!" Tweek pointed an accusing finger at Craig, his mouth agape and… he looked like he was about ready to cry. Or throw his thermos up into the air, run down the street screaming "OHGOD, OHGOD, GAH," run to his house, lock himself into his room, wear one of those tinfoil headsets, and never again see the light of day.

What the fuck? "… Tweek?" Craig stepped to him cautiously, his hands out in front of him, "… Are you okay…?"

"DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME!" Tweek shouted, flinging his thermos out in front of him as if it was a weapon… yeah, Tweek, I'm so scared of coffee.

"Tweek… it's just Lady GaGa… It's fine…" Craig said in a low voice, trying to comfort the blond as much as possible. I feel like I'm approaching an injured animal…

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY LADY GAGA AND 'IT'S FINE' IN THE SAME SENTENCE!"

Holy shit, he's in hysterics. "Tweek, no really, it's okay, it's okay. See? She's not here."

"… You're right. She's not here." Tweek took deep breaths, "I'm fine. It's fine. She's not here. It's okay."

"Yes, that's right. She's not here. You're okay. It's okay." Craig placed his hands on Tweek's shoulders, trying to consolidate him as best as he could.

"GAHHH!" SMACK!

For the next few seconds, silence. And then:

"You… you SLAPPED me!" Craig stared at Tweek like he was insane, and Tweek could only look at his hand.

"No," Tweek said completely calm, but his face spelled out confusion, and still he could only look at his hand, "I smacked you."

"Same difference!" Craig yelled, his mouth slightly open, his face twisted into an incredulous expression. He brought his hand up to his face, wincing when he touched the mark Tweek left. Why the hell did I think he was so cute?! OW!

"… I'M SORRY!" Tweek landed on his knees, clasping his hands together tightly as if he was praying to every deity ever so that Craig wouldn't hurt him back, his eyes squeezed shut. He was also shaking like a Chihuahua. Oh yeah. That's why. Craig instantly felt like he had melted. He laughed slightly under his breath and offered Tweek his hand.

"Get up, spazz, I'm not going to hurt you," Craig said in the most gentle voice he could make – which is kind of hard when your voice is so nasally, you know. Tweek flinched for a moment, obviously not trusting this statement, before opening one eye and hesitantly separating his hands and placing one in Craig's. Craig helped him up slowly and easy-like, afraid he'd scare Tweek off if he didn't.

The contact made Craig instantly blush. And he swore Tweek was blushing too. Once the blond was back on his feet, Craig let go quickly, trying to pass it off that he needed to cough. His acting wasn't that good though, the coughs were obviously fake, but Tweek didn't say anything. Instead, he searched for his coffee, which he accidentally flung into the air while pleading for his life.

"S-so…" Tweek stuttered, grabbing his thermos with a slight pout on his face, brushing off the snow that got on it, then glancing to the spilt coffee with a mourning look on his face. "… why… why do you like Lady GaGa?"

Craig couldn't help but laugh. "Why?"

"Just curious…" Tweek mumbled, twitching slightly. He seemed a little bit scared, to say the least. Craig wanted to hug him.

"I have no clue, dude. I just think she's awesome." Craig shrugged, but then his face broke out into a grin, "But dude, have you seen the way she dresses? I've thought of dressing up as her and going to school one day or something… And her songs, my God, they're awesome. And her music videos! I mean, wow."

"THE SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES!" Tweek screamed, fling his coffee a million feet away from him again, his hands in his hair like he was about to pull out every strand. Craig felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

"What the hell?" he ended up gasping out, holding one of his hands to his chest, his heart hammering wildly.

"The subliminal messages, man! OHGAWD! It's worse than the commercials!" Tweek ended up pacing back and forth, scratching his head with all ten fingers. Craig just watched him with an eyebrow raised. That is, before Tweek started basically hyperventilating.

"Tweek!" Craig exclaimed, reaching out for the blond again and grabbing his shoulders, scared for the blond's life – he may have been exaggerating, but for one, this was South Park, and for two, this was Tweek Tweak. The blond was about ready to slap him again before he realized he'd be making the same mistake again. Tweek's rapid breathing slowed, so Craig asked, "… You okay?"

Tweek whimpered. "No."

"Good." Craig let him go, sighing. He knew he was okay, despite Tweek's objection. He couldn't help but ruffle up the blond's hair affectionately. "Don't scare me like that." He muttered.

RAH RAH AH AH AH AH, RUHMA, RUHMA MA MA, GAGA OOH LA LA, WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE –

"Fuck!" Craig spat out as Tweek screamed and fell to his knees, his hands pulling at his hair again, shaking like a palm tree in a hurricane, if that simile made any sense. Craig flipped his phone open quickly, shouting "What the fuck do you want?!"

"HEY, Craig, buddy!" Clyde's obnoxious voice resonated over the phone loudly, "What's up?"

"Call the fuck back later, asshole!" Craig yelled into the phone, and as he flipped his phone shut, one could hear Clyde almost on the verge of tears shouting back, "CRAIG HOW COULD YOU!"

"Can't sleep, Lady GaGa'll eat me," Tweek could be heard mumbling as he rocked back and forth on the ground. Craig forced him back up, forcing the blond to look him in the eye.

"Repeat after me: Lady GaGa will not hurt me." He said, completely serious.

"… L-L-lady GaGa will not hurt me." Tweek sniffed.

"Again."

"Lady GaGa will not hurt me."

"… You okay now?" Craig asked, his tone actually sincere.

"… I guess so," Tweek pouted.

"All right, good," Craig ruffled up the blond's hair again. "Let's get you home before we get the cops called on us for disturbing the peace or some shit like that."

"OHGAWD." Tweek yelled, clinging to Craig instantly, the thought of going to jail racing through his mind. "I wouldn't last in prison, Craig!"

Craig froze for a second, then forced himself to relax, (He really wouldn't last in prison though… dammit thoughts!) "It's okay… I was just joking." Half joking. "We wouldn't have the cops called on us for something stupid like that." Yes, yes we would. We'd have the cops called on us for sneezing. Although the cop here is worse than that one from the The Simpsons… "C'mon, Tweek."

"I-if you say so…" Tweek let go of Craig, causing the other to frown. However, he kept a firm handful of Craig's hoodie, treating the black-haired teen as a life line. Craig felt like melting again. He's so cute, dammit, dammit all!

"… Can I ask you a question?" Craig asked as he started to walk in the direction of Tweek's house. He was almost afraid to even pry into this Lady GaGa situation any longer… But hey, this dude was really freaking out about this singing sensation, and that just made him all the more curious. Craig just simply couldn't understand – Lady GaGa was just so… awesome. Tweek just twitched in response, omitting a low 'mmm.' "… Why do you hate Lady GaGa?"

"I don't hate her!" Tweek answered defensively, "She just scares the fuck out of me!"

Craig stopped, laughing out loud and shaking his head. Tweek saying 'fuck' just seemed so out of character, but being afraid of Lady GaGa just felt so in character. He just replied, "Really?" Before snickering a bit more, embarrassing Tweek, a bright red color covering the blond's cheeks. He looked like some weird version of strawberry shortcake.

"Well, Craig," Tweek asked almost venomously, "Why do you love her so much?"

That only made Craig laugh more. He ended up just shaking his head, shrugging, and replying, "Didn't we go through this? … Well, I dunno, really. Well, she's pretty hot, you know."

"… I guess…"

"I mean, mmph, wow," Craig kept going, "I mean, dude, seriously… wow. She's hot."

"Uh huh."

"I'd totally go hetero for her."

"… What?"

Shit. "Um. I said. Um, I meant. Uh."

"I heard what you said."

"Well. Well, fuck."

"… You're gay?"

"Um. Well, um." Craig couldn't form a coherent sentence. All right, so yeah, he was gay; he knew this for awhile now. But that didn't mean anyone else knew about it. Hell, if anyone found out about it, he'd probably be, like, beaten, or an outcast, or something. No one could trust South Park, let alone the people he was forced to be in contact with every school day. Shit, what if Tweek hates me for this, goes and tells everyone else – wait that's not Tweek. He wouldn't tell anyone else. But what if someone forces him to tell them? That could happen. Shit. Shit shit shit.

"… and of all the women out there, you choose to be straight for Lady GaGa?" Tweek asked, completely bewildered.

"… What?" Craig was completely taken aback. The two shared a confused stare, both perplexed by other. "Wait… huh? You find out I'm gay and the only thing you're concerned about is that I think Lady GaGa is hot enough to go straight for?"

"Well, yeah – I mean, seriously, Craig, out of every woman on Earth, you pick her? I repeat my question from earlier, 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'"

"Hey don't diss my Lady GaGa!" It was Craig's turn to pout, his whole stature completely on the defensive stance. Tweek just gave a small smile. So cute! … Dammit stop thinking like that! Dammit, idiot, you're an idiot… Fuck you can't even think of a good insult to say to yourself… Craig found himself blushing and quickly turned away. "Um," He found himself at a loss for words, rubbing the back of his head.

"We're at my house." Tweek said, letting go of the death grip he had on Craig's hoodie but not walking away from him just yet. Craig found himself wishing he didn't let go… "H-hey… C-craig?" He began to shake again, scratching at his mismatched buttoned shirt, biting his lip.

Uh oh. "Yeah, dude?"

"Well, I-I never thought I'd be able to say this, because well, I didn't know that you were, because I think I am, too, because I've always thought of you... well, for awhile now, not always, because I used to think you hated me, and I used to think I hated you, but you know how that ended up, because well we're talking to each other right now, and well, um…" Tweek rambled away, Craig just staring at him with an eyebrow raised, confusion plastered on his face.

"… Huh? I'm not following you."

"GAH, stupid pressure!" And without another word, Tweek pulled at Craig's strings on his chullo, practically twisting them in his hands, and forced him down into a heated kiss. Craig's eyes widened in complete shock but before he could react, Tweek let go, shouting out "I LIKE YOU!" before running into his house, slamming the door shut.

Craig stood their dumbfounded for a moment. He couldn't believe what just happened. He set on this trip from the school to their houses just to get to know the blond better, and yet now… Tweek liked him? Tweek kissed him?! Was Craig dreaming?! Oh please, don't let this be a dream… He began to walk away, actually having to turn around and go back in the other direction. They actually had already passed by his house already. … Whoops. But who cared about that … Did that really happen? … Really? He took out his cell phone, about to text Tweek to ask if that really went down, because Craig just couldn't believe it. … What?

He passed by a spot of snow that was a dark brown color instead of the usual bright white it was supposed to be. He blinked, his thought process going really slow. The realization that it was Tweek's thermos hit him, bending down to pick it up. He started laughing to himself softly. So like Tweek to forget it… He flipped open his cell, going through his contact list, deciding to actually text Tweek.

To:
Tweek
hey dude i found your thermos lol. don't worry though, i'll keep it safe.

Craig picked up the thermos carefully, brushing off the snow, a grin sneaking its way onto his face. The belief of what happened was finally setting in. He knew what he was going to do. He felt the phone vibrate in his hand, and he hurriedly checked the message.

Fr:
Tweek
D: I can't believe I forgot it! Thank you for keeping it safe.

Craig quickly sent his reply.

To:
Tweek
hey, will u be my boyfriend?

Craig felt like he didn't even have to wait. It felt like he received his reply almost as soon as he sent the message.

Fr:
Tweek
YES!!!

Craig stared at the text happily for the next few seconds, a smile from ear to ear cracking his face. I wouldn't mind missing the bus the rest of my life if every moment could feel like this. He felt like today had to be the best day of his life. He let out a small laugh before thinking to himself. Well. So far.

Author's Note: Okay, that got really cheesy towards the end. XD Sorry about that. Anyway. I really hope you enjoyed the story. I had a blast writing it, even if it did take me like two months. I'm hoping to get some other fanfics done this week, since I'm on spring break. Forgot to mention that until now. So I'm probably going to go crash now or something. Thanks for reading! Insert a bunch of hearts here. :D