(Editing has begun as of 1-6-13)

Hello, lovelies! This is my first published fanfiction. A lot of the first chapters are very poorly written and the plot in general is a tad confusing (I'll admit before you try diving in).
Also, this story has its rating mostly due to cursing; if you're here for the lemon, you can skip to chapter twenty-seven as long as you give me criticism, alright?
-hearts-

I hope you enjoy at least a bit until I can get around to fully renovating this fanfic!

Everything seemed so surreal; for once in a long time, I was actually finding myself to be enjoying things, in a sick and twisted manner. I was enjoying the life of an assassin. I'd killed... if I'd thought about it, perhaps twenty people. It was soon to be twenty-one and counting!

In my current position, I glanced around in the least suspicious manner I could. I stood in the grand ball room of this utterly huge, humble abode, looking onward through the vertical windows on the far wall that allowed the moon's caressing glow to shine within. On the flanks of the room, tables of pricey snacks and classy wines and flavored punches galore were surrounded with sophisticated looking men and women of many generations. Older generations in majority, it seemed. People presently dressed in ball gowns and masks of many colors, just like myself. Big, poofy, old-styled dresses like the kind Cinderella wore. Tuxes decorated the men; most of the color themes of their suites matched their feminine accomplices.

Chatter echoed through the recesses of the mansion. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling delicately, as if they were clusters of stars on strings. The walls seemingly glistened with a golden tint. Two great stairwells framed the sides of the common room, curving around and meeting at the top where the balcony was. Couches and benches were spotted neatly throughout vision to make the masqueraders feel at home. On the large balcony of the upper level, tables with pure white cloths draped over them held menus, silverware, cups and saucers, spotless platters, and napkins that appeared to be folded in various origami shapes.

Though I stood awkwardly in the middle of a crowd, I didn't seem or feel to be out of place. It was as if I were a little kid again, and that this place was a crown temple of my imagination.

"Hmm... I should come to more masquerades like this! If I can manage to buy my way in again, that is..." I suggested to myself quietly. I fixated my feathery mask and looked down to my silky, lilac dress, smoothing it out neatly. When I first bought it, I was sure that someone one would object to it; it could have been considered a slight bit provocative what with the sweetheart neckline. Oddly enough, it was passed acceptable; I'd received a lot of complements on it (even from the old snobby ladies)!

"Old, rich women are hard to impress so perhaps I'm doing well after all!" I thought to myself with a slight smile.

"Excuse me, miss." I looked over to the man approaching me; he gave me a polite smile and continued once he caught my attention: "Enjoying the masquerade, I trust?"

"Yes, sir," I flashed a toothy grin of appreciation, "Thank you kindly for asking; perchance, do you know where the head of this mansion is?" I also couldn't help but wonder if he knew that he was damn sexy. I bit my tongue, admiring the structure of his facial features. "This is a mission, stop, Mina. Said entertainment needs to be held in for later," I silently told myself.

"Of course, Madame," he pointed to our right toward the east stairwell, showing off his mouth of pearly whites, "Up those stairs, passed the diners, down the hall, take a left on the end, and go through the double doors. Would you like me to guide you there?"

"Uhh, no, no! Thank you though, good sir. Could you do me one more favor if it's not too much trouble and point toward the ladies' room?" I gave a sheepish giggle, and tightly grasped the handles of the purse in my hands innocently.

"The far wall there, right beside the stairs I just directed you toward." He smiled, and I waved politely while walking toward the restroom, shoving the door open.

Typical, might I have said. Two toilets and sinks; a shower that could clean ten people at once; sample soaps; towels with initials; free, laced pink, white handkerchiefs- a rich person's bathroom. It was the size of my living room, honestly. Out of my purse, I pulled a small walky-talky. With a swift jab of the button, I continued, "Minami here, what are your locations?"

...

"What are your locations? Over!" I emphasized each word clearly and unhappily. I received the same response and exhaled sharply, "Hidan? Answer the frickin' walky-talky!"

"Oh, hey. Did you enjoy being in my pocket?" He questioned with his usual, mock-sexy tone. I struggled to hold back my angry remarks and replied, "Where in god's name are you and Kakuzu-sama?"

"I'm busy stuffin' my face! And how the hell do you expect me to know where that bastard is?" I hated questions answered with questions. Stupid ones answering sincere ones at that. How did I know something like this would end up happening? I really needed to stop expecting he'd do better. "Damnit, I told y'all to stay together!"

"The funny thing about that is that I don't care, Mina-chan."

"Leader made me leader of this mission: if we fail, he'll beat me or something!" I was being dramatic, but I could imagine it happening. Let me say, it wasn't a good picture.

"And I'd help." Okay, the picture got worse. He was a bastard of a sadist... Hopefully he didn't actually mean that. "Good god, you're a twisted motherfucker..."

"You threw it out in the open- you set yourself up for that one!"

"Ah, partially true" I sighed in defeat," Anyway! Find Kakuzu-sama, and, once you do, tell him I found the head of the mansion; then get out of here asap. All right? Just do this for me without complaining, and I'll repay you later."

"What're my options of how you 'repay' me?" He questioned; I could hear the creepy, seductive tone in his voice, and it gave me goosebumps. I could only imagine the facial expressions of the people around him... Could whoever was nearby smack him already? PLEASE?

"Hidan, later! Find Kakuzu, and get out of the mansion!" I yelled. I didn't receive a reply from him, so I figured he'd decided to listen to me for once. God, I was going to hate myself after all this. He wouldn't let me return the "favor" by simply cleaning his room- it was gonna be something that would degrade me as a woman, I was sure.

I walked out of the bathroom, up the stairs- following the gentleman's directions to the head of the household. I stopped before the double doors, and took a deep breath. Adrenaline was already rushing.

I knocked and walked through the doors once invited inside. Just as I'd hoped, he was alone. Which was good, because I'd be totally lost on what to do if otherwise.

"Good day, sir!" I exclaimed cheerfully. I was actually a pretty good actor throughout my days when it came to sweet-talking.

"Good day, what brings you here?" He stood from his seat and held out a hand presenting the seemingly golden-laced room. A large grin spread over his middle-aged face smoothly. "Admiring the artwork upon the walls of success? Or possibly to chat over marrying my son? He's really a-" What an arrogant bastard.

"Umm, no, sir; actually I'm here to converse with you on behalf of my village," I replied quickly and blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh, I should have figured." His happiness coiled up and disappeared instantly. "You're of the Rain Village, I assume."

I could hear footsteps outside the double doors; from the corner of my eye, shadows form beneath the doors, indicating the presence of security.

"Indeed. This is serious business, may I say this in your ear?" I asked quietly.

"Of course, milady," he shone a wary smile, and I walked over coolly. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and leaned in to speak, but rather reached into the front of my dress and pulled out a kunai; taking said opportunity, in a strong, slick motion, I sliced through his jugular, then threw the utensil down recklessly. A chill scurried over my shaking body. The noise he made as the blood drained from his face and hurried to hold his neck was near enough to get me going.

The man released another gurgling sound as the double doors slammed open. I loved the way his eyes bulged, the red covering his hands and pooling on the floor where he crashed and wriggled on. It brought up many memories, and a bittersweet taste developed in my mouth.

Without really looking to the intruders, I bent down and rummaged through his pockets and various belongings, managing to snatch a golden pocket watch, many coins and foreign currencies, and a fat envelope.

"Drop that envelope, you thief!"

"Huh? Oh, security. I don't favor taking orders from the likes of you sound-nin," I said and yawned, trying to sound nonchalant and unafraid. The two security guards held kunai toward me with strong yet nervous grip.

I waved the manila envelope at them tauntingly, "Fight me for it, if you re-" I was interrupted in the blink of an eye. A huge woosh followed after a scythe decapitating both men with a disgusting slosh. I groaned in annoyance, seeing Hidan standing above the headless bodies now on the floor, blood splattered about everywhere. "Well, you're blatantly here! Where's Kakuzu?"

"Relax, he's outside... geez, woman," he growled, putting his scythe away. "I try to freaking help you, and this is what I get in return? Fuck this, I'm not helping you anymore."

"I gave you orders! You're supposed to listen to me! Our cover is blown now thanks to you, numb-nuts!" I stomped childishly and crossed my arms while giving him a glare.

"Hey, check this shit out." I watched motionlessly as Hidan picked up one of the decapitated heads and throws it over the balcony into the mob of people, totally ignoring my upset complaints. I was surprised that he didn't argue with me over my comment on his "numb-nuts."

Endless screams echoed through the home. Well, Kakuzu was gonna be pissed 'cause he'd had to wait on us, I might as well have gotten him a a little bit of an extra pay to make it up to 'em. I snickered, rummaged the dead man's pant pockets once more and shoved the remaining money into mine. My pick-pocket skills advanced, hoo-rah!

"We should probably leave before more security comes..." I stated, walking out of the room nonchalantly. Hidan leaned over the balcony rails and laughed like a lunatic at the bustle and melodic screeching with tears in his eyes. I sighed and hopped off the balcony into the crowd, landing and jumping off of the people's heads and shoulders with arms crossed.

"H-Hey! Mina-chan, wait!" Hidan called. Ignoring him, I sprinted out the door, and after spotting the man, walked over to Kakuzu. I took off my masquerade mask and threw it down carelessly.

"I can tell things didn't exactly go as planned," he stated bluntly.

"No, everything went fine, Kakuzu-sama..." Jackass. "Give Leader a good review on me, and I'll split half this share I took," I bribed hastily. If I knew anything, it was that Kakuzu is the greediest bastard on earth. He would accept my offer, I was sure. From what I saw physically, that was his only downfall.

"Sure thing... fork it over."

Told you so. I sighed, and gave him some of the money, not caring to count it carefully. I grabbed a larger portion just so there wasn't any chance he'd want to beat the shit out of me. And of course, Hidan suddenly burst out the front door spewing curses like usual.

With an amused scoff, I looked to Kakuzu, and we shook our heads. Not feeling up for the long walk back to the base, I summoned a bird instead. Thankfully, this time, it was successful; on average, my ninjustu skills were way below decent. Kakuzu and Hidan jumped onto it's back as I gave my faithful birdie Beppin a hug, then followed suit. Summonings had feelings, too!

"Back to the base, please!" I said happily. With a flap of her wings, she gracefully took to flight.

Kakuzu silently moved away from Hidan and I, sitting toward the end of the eagle. I shrugged and hugged my knees to my chest- I really couldn't blame him. Hidan groaned for no reason and fidgeted endlessly; it wasn't new, that was easily determined. I found him to act like a little kid religiously. Midst his squirming, I could tell he was getting closer. This could only mean he wanted to-

"Now about that favor..." Hidan purred, raising an eyebrow, "I think we should fuck, how 'bout it?"

-talk about that damned favor I owed him.

"Hidan, first, shove your scythe into your mouth and run into a wall," I snapped and turned fully away from him.

"That's doable... and so are you," he hissed seductively. I felt goosebumps arise on my skin as he ran a fingertip up and down my spine. I had to admit, he knew his way around, but that wasn't exactly a good trait of his. Hell, did he have any good traits? Other than his physical features, I mean... I stayed silent and waited for his next attempt to pull something; with him, I had to be alert at all times.

"Kakuzu-sama, where are we?" I questioned after a while, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Almost there," he muttered, looked to me, then returned to his map.

That wasn't a surprising response. Hidan layed down beside me with a smug expression. There was no telling what he was thinking, but I was sure I didn't need to ask. He gave a sigh and continued, "I wonder if Jashin-sama likes you." I felt his gaze wander over me.

"For my well-being, I sure as hell hope not..." I grumbled and looked away from him, "You know, it's really not hard to have dignity."

"It's not hard for you to have a little fun every once and a while either," he chuckled lowly, and I grimaced at the sound.

"I'm aware; I choose not to belittle myself like that though," I remarked.

It grew immensely quiet for the first in a long time; but it was the good kind of quiet. It was almost euphoric, even though Hidan was right beside me, thinking of a way to screw my brains out. The firmament of twinkling stars was breath-taking. They appeared to be so close that I could stand up and collect a handful of them; clouds stained the picture in small spots, but provided warmth for the round, blemished moon. It was a cold night, but tolerable even with the wind blowing here and there. The colorful trees below waved to us in our position above them. It certainly was a fall night.

"You're very stubborn, you know that?" Hidan questioned quietly.

"You should respect her for that; I'm glad our most recent addition to the organization isn't a whore," Kakuzu interrupted flatly. Needless to say, I was shocked at what he said; it was probably the nicest comment he'd made to me.

"Kakuzu, you asshole! You're never on my side!" Hidan continued whining consistently and I sighed, annoyed.

"Well at least someone acknowledges that... thank you, Kakuzu-sama!" I said cheerfully and smiled. Hidan made a stupid comment that I didn't hear clearly, but I didn't stop to ask, instead I realized that the masked man Kakuzu probably only took time to reply to Hidan the way he did because I gave him money.

Hmm... money was the way to a man's five hearts! And perhaps... sex was the way to a Jashinist's? What logic.

"Just you wait... one day, I'm gonna get to you and once I do, you'll regret not fucking me earlier. I can make you see stars," he muttered, pouting.

"E-eh?! In your dreams, douche-nozzle." As much as I hated to acknowledge it, a blush crept across my face. Hidan noticed and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Without hesitation, I gave him the finger, and drilled holes into his head with a sickly glare.

Surprised? Don't be. Ever since I'd met Hidan, he'd been like this twenty-four-seven. Hell, the first the thing he had said to me was: "Hey, bitch, how'd'ya fuck?" Rather so than "Hey there, how'd'ya do?" It was really weird how he worked, I could've swore. Besides his foul mouth, the first thing I noticed was his arrogance... then his muscles, smile, and his pretty eyes... THEN, you got to the constant no-shirted-ness and the rosary around his neck. His rosary was a symbol of his god, Jashin whom Hidan had made me officially hate. If he did something someone didn't like... he reinforced himself with Jashin of course.

So, here we had a gore-loving, religious man that didn't wear shirts, carried around a huge, blood red, three-bladed scythe, who wore a retarded looking rosary, and had problems with making sexual references constantly.

"Hey," he whispered. I jumped barely, snapping out of my thoughts, looked to him and raised an eyebrow. He continued quietly, "Is there a banana in my pocket, or did you just give me an erection?"

I couldn't even imagine the twist in my expression; I felt blood rush to my cheeks as I tried to scoot away from him, but he sat up, grabbed my wrists and pulled me into his laps roughly. And, as embarrassing as it was to admit, I was there, stuck straddling him, blushing like a nervous school girl. Man, I was so glad he didn't have a camera- talk about black mail!

"H-Hidan, let me go!" I yelped shakily, trying to escape, "Knock it off for once, you idiot!" I avoided eye contact and focused on getting out of his grasp, pulling and pushing and shoving, until with a huge gust of wind, things were literally turned upside down.

"What the fuck? You stupid ass, you've really done it!" He bellowed angrily; I gave him a look of terror, and his angry expression didn't even even soften into worry. He was immortal, why the hell was he upset? I felt my heart pounding faster than it ever had, feeling like it was about to break through my ribcage and jump out of my chest. I seriously pushed the two of us off of the bird? Crap, this was my fault...

"This is your fault!" I screamed in the same tone as he'd used. Gravity really wasn't my friend. I really couldn't help but clench my eyes shut as I continued plummeting to the cold ground below. Hidan had released one of my wrists when we first fell off the bird, but was tightly holding onto the one in his grasp.

Three things I was afraid of: heights, dying, and Hidan. What do you get when you put them all together? Hell. Girlishly, a scream escaped my mouth and echoed in the quickly passing by atmosphere. I felt paralyzed and helpless, it was a horrible feeling, especially when you couldn't do anything about it. I began to wince and wonder how close to the ground we were...

It was when, randomly, the air was completely squeezed out of me and I was facing upward under water when I felt the real effects of my panicking. Hidan's arm was wrapped around me in a death grip, and I couldn't swim anyway. Life sucked dick.

This was one of those epic, slow motion moments you saw in movies.

Hidan and I swatted at the surrounding water desperately as we reached for the surface. Feeling the air caress my wet face, I gasped for air frantically; I was sure I sounded like a damn walrus, but I didn't care- I'd been through too much in the last five minutes. I freed myself of Hidan's grip, and immediately kicked toward the shore, and, once there, I flopped onto the damp, grassy ground carelessly. Hidan's sloshing footsteps were heard as he walked passed me a bit and stopped, "Bloody hell."

I found the energy to shoot a death glare at him and he laughed. I stood once feeling up for the walk, and stated, "I want to go home, NOW." His persistent-endless-complaint button, apparently, was pushed, because he had started whining already. I groaned, and began walking to the base with my bitchy teammate.

Assassinations and near-death experiences were routine, no worries.

I hope you liked it! I'm so glad I finally got the courage to post some of my writing. Reviews and critiques are very much enjoyed and welcomed. I'm sure I've made errors in here somewhere. :p