Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Vocaloid or any associated characters or settings.

Then Along Came…

For Meiko, everything started out simple. It was just her, an apartment, a bank account, and a modest musical career. It wasn't the best, but it was good enough. Sure, she could never resist a few beers after work, which ultimately led to her drinking too much and waking up half-way to her room. She had occasionally shown up to a recording session slightly hung-over, or woken up on the floor with no recollection on how she got home or where her bra was. But, she always managed to pay the bills on time, keep the fridge full of food, and the apartment in a relative state of cleanliness.

It wasn't the embodiment of her dreams, but it wasn't the pits either. Her concerts didn't sell out months beforehand, but they brought in a respectable crowd. Her name may not have been known by most of the first-world, but it wasn't unheard of. She had even been asked to star in a movie. Admittedly, it was a horror flick about an insane, cannibalistic noblewoman, but at least it wasn't a porn movie. Life wasn't the grand star-studded dream she longed for, but it wasn't bad. She did wish didn't have the obsessive fans who mailed her skimpy pieces of lingerie and sent her letters asking intrusive questions about her private habits.

Then Kaito came into her life. A nice man, but a complete klutz, who's optimistic, easy-going personality ground against hers. Like her, he had developed a modest musical career. However, while she occasionally found her face plastered across a tabloid magazine, accompanied by a headline describing last nights bar-crawl; Kaito had apparently suffered a scandal in which a maintenance man at the recording company had apparently made several vulgar and extremely suggestive remarks about Kaito's manager, which had deeply upset her. The man then claimed that Kaito had ambushed him outside a bar, tazered him, stuffed him the trunk of a car, before driving out into the middle of nowhere, gave him a stern warning about being insensitive and how next time someone might not be so merciful, before driving off and leaving him to walk home in a blizzard.

The whole thing had blown over when the local hospital revealed that aside from suffering from exposure, the maintenance man had also been rather drunk. Most people then wrote off the whole thing as the man trying to turn a drunken mishap into a chance to win some fame. Still, it had really unnerved Meiko to find out that she would be living with a man who the tabloids had been claiming was overprotective, violent, and possibly schizophrenic.

He was nether of those things. But he had a strange fixation for frozen desserts, especially ice-cream, and was very trusting to the point of being gullible. He was incapable of cooking anything without something going wrong, was prone to spending excessive amounts of money on ice-cream, and seemed to have trouble using a broom. He also seemed to have a low tolerance for hot temperatures, which resulted in Meiko coming home to find Kaito sitting in front of the fan, completely naked except for his scarf. Tensions were understandably high.

Hostilities reached their peak one winter night. The cause of incident: the last of some alcoholic brandy ice-cream.

She had smashed an empty beer bottle on his head, cut open his arm with said beer bottle, before trying to strangle him with his scarf. Kaito had sucker-kicked her in the stomach, stabbed her several times with an ice-cream spoon, and repeatedly slammed her head in the freezer door.

The resulting ambulance trip and overnight stay in the emergency room actually went a long way to soothing relations between them. So when they finally got the last of their stitches out, they were actually what one would call friends.

But that didn't mean he was going to get away with ordering two tons of chocolate ice-cream, or leaving for work with only a popsicle for lunch, and he was a damned fool if he thought she was going to let him face down the tabloids alone!

xXx

Kaito's place in the household came about in a combination of many things. First, Kaito was absolutely hopeless when it came to looking out for himself. Second, he knew damn well that Meiko was always watching his back, and so it was only appropriate to return the favour. Third, while a drunk Meiko may have been a happy Meiko, a drunk Meiko was detrimental to his wellbeing, and a hungover Meiko was even worse. Finally, he was simply a nice person, and it went against his nature to leave her lying on the floor without at least a blanket covering her.

Not that watching out for her was easy. He learned the hard way that it was literally impossible to stop, or even reduce, her drinking. His first attempts at hangover treatment often made the hangover worse, and his attempts to make sure she got home safe usually resulted in him scouring every bar within the city, only to find out she had somehow managed to drag drunk ass home.

His discovery of the GPS was the one of the greatest days in his life. A little modification allowed him to merge it with a medical scanner and a pager. The only problem was that he could never get Meiko to keep it on her person when she went bar crawling. So he came up with the idea of concealing it in her clothing. Unfortunately, the only clothing she had that she was least likely to loose when she went drinking, was her underwear. Meiko had nearly killed him when she came home early and found him going through her bras. Fortunately she didn't actually catch him with the GPS, she just though he was a pervert. It was well worth the hospital time however. Whenever Meiko had drunk too much or looked like she was going to walk home, he could be right there to pick her up.

His hangover cures improved as well. He even managed to perfect his Secret for a damn good reason Ultimate Hangover cure. It certainly was not easy. It took two whole months, fifty pounds of espresso ice-cream, four crates of Nicaraguan avocados, two rather surprised chickens, five high profile robberies of pharmaceutical warehouses, a truck muffler, twenty meters of copper wire, a lightning rod, thirty two white rats, a brief foray into the underworld, four ingredients so evil that were better off unknown, and ten that were so bizarre they didn't even have names. Unfortunately, for reasons too numerous to list, its use was reserved for situations that called for Extreme Action. Which happened all too often unfortunately. Meiko thought he had been re-enacting scenes from Frankenstein the whole time.

Then there were the Fans. While he was a person who rarely thought bad things about anyone, there were certain lines you never crossed. Someone asking Meiko for her autograph was fine. Someone asking if they could get into her pants was not. His tazer went through a whole crate of batteries every month.

The Media was even worse. While Kaito and Meiko may not have been huge celebrities, the more intrusive paparazzi reporters were often caught snooping around their apartment building whenever there was a lull in the scandals that usually plagued the superstars. Kaito fortunately had experience in that area. He even managed to get several useful discouraging devices for free. He bought them with Meiko's credit card, didn't tell Meiko; who then called up the credit card company and chewed them out for charging her for four steel bear traps, two cases of wasabi powder, a spool of piano wire, a barrel of vinegar, and a coil of barbed wire; all of which she didn't buy. Most of the reporters got the message, except for a photographer from the Tattletale. It wasn't pretty.

It was the Criminals however, who were shown no mercy. It wasn't that Meiko couldn't fight off a kidnapper if she tried; it was simply that when she was drunk, she often didn't realize that she had been kidnapped. The first time it happened, Kaito dangled the lone survivor off the edge of a bridge, covered him in fish guts, and waited for the sharks to come. He bought a police baton on EBay the next day, and took to notching it to mark everyone he used it on. He had to abandon the practice after his first baton became nothing but notches, and his second one threaten to follow suit.

xXx

When Miku came into their life, she was just a little green haired girl with her hair done up into two pigtails. Meiko thought she was the cutest thing ever. Miku then skinned her knee on the front step of the apartment. Meiko burned the tires off Kaito's car getting Miku to the hospital. The nurse at the front desk gave Miku a band-aid and a lollipop. Meiko got a sarcastic pamphlet aimed at overprotective mothers, which detailed exactly why it was not necessary to employ emergency room services for a skinned knee.

The most immediate pressing matter had been space. There were only two bedrooms in the apartment, and Miku's coming had been a surprise, thus the bed they had ordered for her had not arrived. Miku was thus given Kaito's room and bed, a line was drawn down the center of Meiko's room, and Kaito and Meiko flipped a coin for the remaining bed. It landed on it's edge. They flipped again, and got the same result. Thus they spent a long, awkward, and often painful, two weeks sharing a bed. It was only later that they learned the coin had been catching on a gap in the floorboards.

The perks of horror movie stardom were also revealed thanks to Miku. One day Meiko noticed that Miku had been acting like a perfect saint all week. The little girl did all her chores ahead of time, never whined, and choked down whatever was put in front of her. In fact, Miku had looked absolutely terrified all week. A little probing revealed that Miku had stayed up late watching Conchita with Kaito one night. The revelation that Meiko was Conchita had so terrified the girl, that she had drawn the conclusion that Meiko would eat her if she didn't behave. Meiko promptly turned this to her advantage by loudly wondering what to have for dinner, whenever Miku was being stubborn; this backfired spectacularly one day, when Kaito was gone overnight because of an event performance. When Kaito didn't come home at his usual time, Miku had come to the conclusion that Meiko must have eaten him, and had barricaded herself in her room in terror and refused to come out. Kaito came home to Miku screaming, and Meiko trying to force her way into the bedroom with an axe.

xXx

Kaito sincerely hoped that with Miku around, Meiko would cut down on her drinking. It was not to be so. He came home once to find Meiko passed out on the living room floor surrounded by empty beer bottles, with Miku sitting on the couch, gnawing on a negi and occasionally poking Meiko with a stick. Apparently Miku had been hungry and Negi had been the only food she could reach. She liked it, a lot.

A few years later, they welcomed Rin and Len into their home. Kaito immediately became the target of numerous pranks. Some of them where merely annoying, like the mustard on the underside of the door handle. Others were merely harmless, like the frozen wasabi in the mint ice-cream container. A few could hardly be called harmless, such as the fiasco that was the twins first Halloween. They had unleashed the twins on the neighbourhood to go trick or treating at about seven that night. Meiko had though Len looked so cute in his top hat and overcoat, and Rin in her witch costume. They were escorted home by a police officer at three in the morning, who explained that they had been luring younger kids into the woods and stealing their candy. The rare joke even made national news. Kaito still remembers staring in horror at the TV, which showed live footage of his car, with Rin and Len at the wheel, being chased down the highway at speeds exceeding 120kms/hr, by at least four dozen police cruisers. Meiko had been furious. She went down to the police station, chewed out the twins for stealing the car, chewed out the media for being 'a bunch of lowlife jackals,' and then chewed out the police for excessive use of force. Kaito still has no clue where they learned how to hotwire the car, let alone drive it, but it helped soften the blow when he came home and found a stolen steamroller parked in the garage.

Aside from the pains and joys of Miku and the Twins growing up, life was more or less uneventful. Sure there were exaggerated stories about them occasionally posted on the internet, and some of the stuff the twins did didn't need exaggeration, but on the whole everything was pretty mundane. Then Miku was spotted by a talent agent during a karaoke contest that had been held outside one of the hotels. Suddenly, Miku went from being a normal fourteen year old, to being a music star. Her career skyrocketed. In less than a year, Miku was a superstar that was doing international tours, and whose face was known the world over. A few years later, Rin and Len were spotted by another agent during a school presentation of Daughter of Evil. Their musical careers mirrored Miku's rise too fame. Meiko and Kaito's respective careers benefitted from the fame of being associated with the three superstars. Meiko practically beamed with pride at all the praise she heard about the younger generation, and would boast up and down about how proud she was of the three. They even moved out of the apartment and into a house located in a scenic area of the city. Kaito however, noticed that the amount of alcohol she consumed had increased alarmingly.

xXx

Their merry group was soon joined by Gakupo, and shortly after by Luka. Fortunately, they were mature adults and didn't need baby sitting. Oh how Meiko wished she could say that without lying. For them, being an adult seemed to simply mean they could drive cars and buy beer legally. Gakupo had somewhat of an obsession over eggplants, a fact Rin and Len used to their advantage. A notable joke against him, which Rin and Len claimed was an experiment on primate behaviour; involved a machine that when a purple button was pressed would dispense an eggplant and a large electric shock, other buttons would dispense a bag of chips and no shock. Gakupo went for eggplant every time. So many times in fact, that Meiko had to rush him to the hospital after he completely lost motor control. Luka may have had more sense than Gakupo; but it was her pet octopus that really drove Meiko up the wall. There was nothing in the world quiet sitting in the bathtub, and having a forty pound, slimy, invertebrate suddenly latch onto your leg. Grilled octopus never looked as appealing as it did at that moment.

Sure Meiko was still the one stuck with making sure everything was in running order, and while she could ensure everyone did the fair share of the housework, she still had to pay the bills and bail everyone out of trouble. But, that wasn't what bothered her. She knew, as much as she never acknowledged it, that her career was merely riding the wake left by Miku and the twins. Even Kaito was sailing ahead of her in popularity. To top it off, almost everyone failed to acknowledge what she did for them everyday. The huge messes that resulted whenever she was somehow taken out of the picture were proof enough of that. No matter what she did, no one gave her so much as a thank you for bailing them out of trouble. It was depressing.

But she'd be damned if she ever let that get her down! Just because the others failed to realize what she did for them, did not mean she was suddenly going to stop doing it! Even if Kaito couldn't use a broom to save his life, and Miku was currently living the life she always dreamed of, she would not allow herself to give up. Even if the Twins continued to get into trouble with no regards for the consequences, and Gakupo seemed intent on converting them to the Bushido code, she would press on! Of course that didn't mean she couldn't stop at the bar and have a few drinks.

xXx

Kaito once heard somewhere that if you were doing something right, no one would realize you were doing anything at all. That basically summed up his work. When she was hungover, Meiko would grab the first thing she saw that could potentially alleviate her suffering, without giving any thought to where it came from. When she woke up in her bed with no recollection of how she got there, she'd always assumed she had somehow got home under her own power. Whenever Kaito pulled a late-night rescue, she was always too drunk to even remember it. Not that he let it bother him. As long as Meiko made it home safe every night and didn't have to be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, than he was happy with the lack of recognition.

He did wish Rin and Len would stop using his credit card to buy junk on EBay. But there were bigger things to worry about. A hurricane had just hammered town. There was flooding, chaos, rioting, looting and a hungover Meiko. Thankfully no one had got to the pharmacy and he was able to loot some hangover cures before Extreme Action was needed, because gods knew that they would be hard pressed to survive both a hurricane and a grouchy Meiko looking for aspirin. If he hurried he could likely make it to the frozen dessert section of the grocery store before someone else cleaned it out!

xXx

Omake:

"So you're telling me you need Meiko sober, now?" Kaito asked sceptically.

Miku and Luka nodded frantically. "Right now." Miku emphasised.

"Would you say this was a situation that calls for Extreme Action?" Kaito probed. "I mean it."

"Yes," both girls agreed.

"Very well. I would one of you be so kind as to fetch that box of yaoi manga I have hidden in the basement, and could the other get me a container of vodka ice-cream? There is no way I am doing this sober at this time of day."

Miku and Luka cast sceptical glances at each other. "O-kay…" They took off to procure the requested items. Miku came back with the vodka ice-cream which Kaito immediately dug into, and Luka emerged from the basement with a cardboard box filled with suspect manga. Kaito didn't even spare the manga a second glance; he just reached into the box and grabbed a large steel strongbox and a shotgun which he gave to Miku.

"If anything other than me comes out of the room, shoot it," he told the girls. He turned into his room slammed the door and got to work.

Luka and Miku glanced at each other is shock.

"What's he doing?" Miku whispered.

"I don't know," Luka answered.

They could hear the sounds of Kaito working behind the door, the ring of glasswork, the breath of a gas burner, the sound of something metal being struck, and something that sounded suspiciously like a chicken. There was an explosion, the chicken gave out a loud shriek, and ominous Latin chanting came out from behind the door. Another explosion shook the house, the chicken now sounded like it was being tortured, and an odour reminiscent of avocados and burnt Styrofoam wafted out. There was an unearthly howl, which cause the girls to jump a foot in the air.

"HOLY SHIT!" Kaito screamed. "GET BACK IN THERE! BACK! BACK! BACK!"

Another explosion shook the house, and suddenly the sound died down. All that could be heard was the sound of something bubbling softly. The door suddenly opened and Miku nearly blew Kaito's head off. He was covered head to foot in ash, had a large gash across his forehead, and he was smoking slightly. He snatched the shotgun from Miku's hand and gave Luka a small shot-glass filled with a clear liquid.

"This is my Secret for a damn good reason Ultimate Hangover cure," he explained. "Put that on the table next to Meiko and she'll be right as rain in no time. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to patch myself up before I bleed on the carpet."

Miku and Luka just stared dumbly at the closing door.

Authors Note: An elaboration of what was discussed in the first chapter. I look forward to hearing what you like and do not like about this piece of work. No flaming please.

The origins and exact relations of and between the various Vocaloids were left ambiguous for a reason. Take it how you will!